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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #2341
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    BD does pete piss on you?

  2. #2342
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Not enough, apparently.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  3. #2343
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Please keep us posted on your pegging progress.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  4. #2344
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    BD does pete piss on you?
    No, but he has pissed me off numerous times.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  5. #2345
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Please keep us posted on your pegging progress.
    I just discovered this is like one of those tongue twisters you say like 10 times, really fast.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  6. #2346
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Bev: fascinated by the most basic aspect of anal sex that anyone with even a cursory understanding of how their own body works would already know.

    12/31: Derek Plaslaiko, Dave Aju @ f8
    1/8: Tamaryn @ The Chapel
    1/28: Beacon @ The Rickshaw Stop
    1/29: Ty Segall, Wand, Cold Beat @ GAMH
    2/7: Robag Whrume, Daniel Bell, Sassmouth, The Black Madonna @ Public Works
    2/14: Sparks @ Ace Theater Hollywood

  7. #2347
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Please keep us posted on your pegging progress.
    Maybe that's next. I don't know. Maybe not though, since I'm not dominant.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  8. #2348
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    You're what the sex world calls "verse" amy.

    You seem to enjoy fucking your man, but also enjoy getting fucked.

  9. #2349
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    no I only enjoy getting fucked, like a blow up doll.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  10. #2350
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread


  11. #2351
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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  12. #2352
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    ... Keep fucking that chicken.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    As awkward as the time I force-felched you?
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip

  13. #2353
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    hahahahahahaha

    “Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body—his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”

    It was around this time I began to suspect that many of Cosmo’s sex tips were in fact fueled by hunger. When Cosmo’s not advising us on how to incorporate the contents of our pantries into our sex lives, it is advising us on how to lose weight, so how else to explain this questionable use of eating utensils? Since I would never turn down the chance to stab my girlfriend in the name of journalism, I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a medium-sized, four-pronged IKEA fork.

    Her eyes widened as I made my way to the bed, and she said, “We’re really just going straight into this—no foreplay?”

    “No foreplay,” I said. “Only forkplay.”

    She protested for the first time throughout this bad sex experiment, so I relented and we fooled around for a while before proceeding. When she felt warmed up I picked up the fork and lightly dragged it across her stomach. “Fuck, that’s cold,” she said. And it was. Because it’s a fork. It doesn’t really adapt to your body temperature. I breathed hotly on it and then stuck it between my thighs to make it warmer. If making out while clenching a fork between your thighs isn’t the height of eroticism, I don’t know what is.

    Foregoing the warmth factor, I took to pressing the fork into various fleshy parts of her body—her tits, thighs, butt, and so on. My girlfriend is usually quite responsive to touch of all kinds, but forking her was getting no reaction.

    “How does that feel?” I asked.

    “It feels like I’m being stabbed with a fork,” she said.
    http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-rela...age=1#bookmark

    12/31: Derek Plaslaiko, Dave Aju @ f8
    1/8: Tamaryn @ The Chapel
    1/28: Beacon @ The Rickshaw Stop
    1/29: Ty Segall, Wand, Cold Beat @ GAMH
    2/7: Robag Whrume, Daniel Bell, Sassmouth, The Black Madonna @ Public Works
    2/14: Sparks @ Ace Theater Hollywood

  14. #2354
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread


  15. #2355
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Bondage Tricks For People Too Chickenshit To Try Actual Bondage

  16. #2356
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I like to use twizzlers when my partner is reluctant to be hog tied.

  17. #2357
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Some of it is actual bondage but you would have to know beforehand if your partner is dominant, submissive, or switch before you (as a woman) start ordering him around. Bleh.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  18. #2358
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Bondage and power play are not the same thing. They frequently go together but you can have one without the other.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  19. #2359
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    amy has he made you wear a ball gag yet?

  20. #2360
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I could never wear one because of my TMJ.

  21. #2361
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    That may be, but you also could never wear one because you couldn't stand to stfu for that long.

  22. #2362
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    That's exactly why my partners would want me to wear one.

  23. #2363
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Hence my question to amy.

  24. #2364
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    In both cases, I'm pretty sure the only way I could even wrestle up an erection is if we filled Amy/Gunz's mouth with concrete. I don't think a ball gag would stop the incessant unintelligible mumbling.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  25. #2365
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    It's true. The noises don't stop.

  26. #2366
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    In both cases, I'm pretty sure the only way I could even wrestle up an erection is if we filled Amy/Gunz's mouth with concrete. I don't think a ball gag would stop the incessant unintelligible mumbling.
    Well, that's one sure-fire way of creating an image in your likeness for the board...

  27. #2367
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I didn't take it out for air, bitch.
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    ... Keep fucking that chicken.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    As awkward as the time I force-felched you?
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip

  28. #2368
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    i.e., this dick ain't gonna suck itself.
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhand View Post
    ... Keep fucking that chicken.
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    As awkward as the time I force-felched you?
    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip

  29. #2369
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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  30. #2370
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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