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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #1951
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Fucking French!

    Tony Parker scores 37

    Now this...

  2. #1952
    old school downingthief's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Yeah he wouldn't have had to try too hard to be better than what I've had. But he did, and he really paid attention to the questions I answered on okcupid.
    Yay, Amy! Good sex is delicious.

  3. #1953
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    so amy are you gonna see him again?
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  4. #1954
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I've seen him a bunch of times.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  5. #1955
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    better than Jacob? wow that's amazing!
    Anything is better than nothing, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by downingthief View Post
    Yay, Amy! Good sex is delicious.
    Amyzzz, please tell me that you gave a proper thank you by burping afterwards.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  6. #1956
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I'm so proud of you Amy....really

    Was it nice n gentle or were you jackhammered

  7. #1957
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I need a little advice. My 15 year old cousin wont stop masturbating at my Grandmothers house. The kid goes away to the bathroom with his cell phone for an hour and half. This started when he was 13 and my brother and I thought he would out grow it but the situation is getting worse. On Monday he humped the ground for like 10 minutes straight and made sex noises then he got up and told us about how his friend describes the taste of "salty jizz" and "oh my god jizz all over my face " as he rubbed his race with his hands "just kidding just kidding." He's a fucking sex maniac and a spaz and it's funny but must be stopped. Is it my position to say something? What the hell am I supposed to tell him: "stop jacking off in public?" He doesn't take anything seriously.

  8. #1958
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Butt plug attachments can be hard to shake.
    Geez, Gunz... How many are you using in one sitting?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  9. #1959
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Vigo, that makes you think anyone would take that serious?
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  10. #1960
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Well I'm not making it up if that's what you're asking. The boy loves to cum all day long.

  11. #1961
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Especially after learning that Amy got Frenched

  12. #1962
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Make him read the article about the dude who died from too much masturbation. That might slow him down for awhile.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  13. #1963
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by footixy View Post
    Especially after learning that Amy got Frenched


    I love reading posts and then looking at peoples avatars.

  14. #1964
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    That's a good idea. Like, tell him how we knew a kid who beat it so much that his dick fell off. Thanks Loca.

    Amy, French men dogs

  15. #1965
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    He started like this 2 years ago, and now it's finally becoming a problem for you?

  16. #1966
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    So Amy,

    By chance did you bonk this "French Guy" during Memorial Day?

  17. #1967
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    lulz at bonk
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  18. #1968

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    so is "footixy" actually Jacob?
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  19. #1969

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    this is actually real:

    the people who post in the " THE GAMING HARDWARE THREAD" never post in this thread
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  20. #1970
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yikes.

  21. #1971
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    so is "footixy" actually Jacob?
    I enjoy kissing my wife...so no

  22. #1972
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    this is actually real:

    the people who post in the " THE GAMING HARDWARE THREAD" never post in this thread
    ahahahahhaahha
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  23. #1973
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Vigo's next steps?
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  24. #1974

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    too drunk to get it up last night and could only finger bang

    myself
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  25. #1975
    Member Godspeed's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Better make up for it today!
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    Jesus fucking Christ, who the hell is this Godspeed asshole?

  26. #1976

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    this is actually real:

    the people who post in the " THE GAMING HARDWARE THREAD" never post in this thread
    Imagining some of you in here having sex is what keeps many people away.

  27. #1977
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    So it was this boys 15th birthday and a party for immediate family was held at my grandmothers. He began by telling my brother and I that there isn't any difference between marijuana and cigarettes. We argued with him and he insisted that we were lying and that they are the same.

    Then he started defending his heterosexuality. We told him that no one was accusing him of being gay and he insisted that he knew and that he is just saying that he's not gay. Then he went on about how much you'd have to pay him to french kiss a guy and how everyone has a price. He seemed to settle on the idea of $3000. Then he went to the bathroom for a whole hour.

    We confronted him about his masturbation problem and he got super defensive. He told us that he cleans his butt all the way and that we are not clean people. So I told him that's bullshit, that I'm not stupid, that it takes 2 minutes to clean your butt all the way. Then he tried to show us his YouTube history, but when we asked for the browser history he conveniently forget how to pull it up.


    Last night I went to get a Chinese acupressure. My masseuse was very very pretty and didn't speak a lick of English. So she's working my arms and staring at me and out of nowhere she kisses me. Awkward. Then it happened again. So eventually we just went at it. We were making all kinds of noise too. When we got done I stepped out from the curtain and there was a young teenage girl getting a massage and she looked at me with a terrified and disgusted look on her face. She heard the whoe thing.

    I don't know why that masseuses did that. Maybe this is standard practice in china? Maybe she just needed to hook up with someone. Very unprofessional though.
    Last edited by VigoTheCarpathian; 06-03-2013 at 08:31 PM.

  28. #1978
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    And you took the time to cut and paste?

  29. #1979
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread



    masturbating chinese acupressure massages 15 year boy to 12 year old girl?

  30. #1980
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    And you took the time to cut and paste?
    I'm off to help some more sexually frustrated people.

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