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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #961
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    You don't tell the story about finding a pot-belly pig in the bathroom of the house you were staying at ENOUGH. It kills me.
    Haha, i can't tell that story in this thread though, since I didn't have sex with the pig. But I will try to find a way to fit it into another thread, just for you.
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    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  2. #962
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    I've shared that story at least a few times in other threads on this board, but PER USUAL we are such a boring fucking lot that we all continue to have the same fucking conversations every couple of months and remain wildly entertained by our own lameness.

    But sure, that story isn't true. This one is: getbetter and I did some serious reconnaissance weekend one and got dirty on your daughter's sleeping bag.
    Oh my God please tell me that's real.

  3. #963
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Okay so, when your ex pushed you through an apparently closed window... were you nekkid?
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  4. #964
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Nah, he had put some boxers and a shirt on me -- the ejection came later in the night, not immediately following the sex. The window was open (one of those no screen, knob turning out ones). I cut my knee on his empty glass candle holders. That I'm pretty sure some other chick had given them to him as a gift.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
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  5. #965
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  6. #966
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    You don't tell the story about finding a pot-belly pig in the bathroom of the house you were staying at ENOUGH. It kills me.
    That is a great story, which I'd like to hear again in person, with inflections, in September.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  7. #967
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    We are going to have some good story time in the fall.

  8. #968
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    So what the fuck was wrong with his parents that he felt the need to throw you out a window?

    Do you have any more sex stories that involve you being physically injured but not in the usual ways (i.e. sexy punches to the face)
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  9. #969
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Vomiting during sex sounds so wrong; that has not ever happened to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  10. #970
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    So what the fuck was wrong with his parents that he felt the need to throw you out a window?
    They had rules, man. Sneaking out the window wasn't an isolated incident, this was more a force of habit. I had just always been more adroit at alighting.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  11. #971
    Rover canexplain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    adroit at alighting
    That's more impressive than your story .... cr****
    Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine

  12. #972
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    RON TELL US AGAIN ABOUT THE TIME YOU FUCKED THE GIRL IN THE PLANE WITH THE CARGO DOOR OPEN
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  13. #973
    Rover canexplain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Old (er) news ..... cr****
    Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine

  14. #974
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    So it was more that you were unsure, rather than feeling like you wouldn't have any support?

    Pitcher, catcher, both, neither? When you're interested, are you aggressive like some dudes are with chicks? Would you be upset if a straight guy lead you on for, say, drinks? That's if you'd even buy someone a drink. 28, eh. When did you come out/accept/realize?
    More so unsure.
    Both and neither.
    Not really aggressive.
    And how do you mean? Like a guy just wanted to hang out and I assumed he was gay or something?
    I'd say around between 19 and 21 I realized and accepted and so forth. Not really out to the whole world, but not living in a glass closet either.

  15. #975
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    The first time I was exposed to bondage-like sexual behavior was when my boyfriend made me lie on the floor of his dorm room, and he held my wrists still while he went down on me. That was fun, but not the best part. A mutual friend sat behind my head and held my shoulders down. She would alternate between making out with me and watching my boyfriend. She would order me not to move or make a sound. She wouldn't even let me close my eyes. If I did, she would make my boyfriend stop and she would make out with him
    Last edited by algunz; 05-06-2013 at 09:23 PM. Reason: Grammar police

  16. #976
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    The first time I was exposed to bondage-like sexual behavior is when my boyfriend made me lie on the floor of his dorm room and held my wrists still while he went down on me. That was fun, but not the best part. A mutual friend sat behind my head and held my shoulders down. She would alternate between making out with me and watching my boyfriend. She would order me not to move or make a sound. She wouldn't even let me close my eyes. If I did, she would make my boyfriend stop and she would make out with him



  17. #977
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I need more stories.
    I just beat off to the Farrah Abraham porn.
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  18. #978

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    The first time I was exposed to bondage-like sexual behavior is when my boyfriend made me lie on the floor of his dorm room and held my wrists still while he went down on me. That was fun, but not the best part. A mutual friend sat behind my head and held my shoulders down. She would alternate between making out with me and watching my boyfriend. She would order me not to move or make a sound. She wouldn't even let me close my eyes. If I did, she would make my boyfriend stop and she would make out with him
    Wow, what a fantastic post.
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  19. #979
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Wow, what a fantastic post.
    Way to overlook mine
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  20. #980
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yours was great, creepy.

  21. #981
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Yours was great, creepy.
    Needs more detail, huh?
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  22. #982
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Neighborhood Creep View Post
    Way to overlook mine
    No one wants to read about your filthy rumpy pumpy creep

  23. #983
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Neighborhood Creep View Post
    Needs more detail, huh?
    A little embellishing might be useful.

  24. #984
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    useful hu? I like where this thread is going.

  25. #985
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by VigoTheCarpathian View Post
    No one wants to read about your filthy rumpy pumpy creep
    Fresh out the shower, clean as a sanitized whistle.
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  26. #986
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I'm closing my eyes. I see soft voluptuous boobies. My penis is growing. It's getting real big and hard. I'm running my fingers softly up and down her inner legs..up her thighs down to her ankles. I'm beginning to sweat all over my buldging muscles.

  27. #987
    Member caeden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    jesus christ. y'all blew up this thread
    Quote Originally Posted by kvnty View Post
    You little cock sucker, menikmati. This is a fucking violation of compliance and you will fucking pay, you little pig.

  28. #988
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I've gone to gay cruising location and put a blindfold on and sucked anonymous cocks on multiple occasions over the last year. Although the worst part is there have been times where no one even wanted to stick their dick in my face the whole time I was there. It's kind of amazing I haven't caught more diseases. Although that whole situation kind of turns me on, most cruisey places in my town are filled with senior citizens, which doesn't turn me on at all, so that practice has fallen by the wayside. In fact, cruising in general has kind of been in remission because it's almost always a total failure; everyone is either disgusting or disinterested (or both).
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  29. #989

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    They had rules, man. Sneaking out the window wasn't an isolated incident, this was more a force of habit. I had just always been more adroit at alighting.
    adroit at alighting. yes we can all read books and shit. Making a sentence nobody understands isn't communicating, it's embracing elitist bullshit.

    Those last two words describe you perfectly.
    Spicy pie is mainstream shit.

  30. #990
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by caeden View Post
    jesus christ. y'all blew up this thread
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    I've gone to gay cruising location and put a blindfold on and sucked anonymous cocks on multiple occasions over the last year. Although the worst part is there have been times where no one even wanted to stick their dick in my face the whole time I was there. It's kind of amazing I haven't caught more diseases. Although that whole situation kind of turns me on, most cruisey places in my town are filled with senior citizens, which doesn't turn me on at all, so that practice has fallen by the wayside. In fact, cruising in general has kind of been in remission because it's almost always a total failure; everyone is either disgusting or disinterested (or both).
    Okay, call me perplexed, but are you cruising into these slutty trysts with hopes of finding Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now? It just seems to me that in order to find him, you'd have to be able to see him.. and that ain't gonna happen with a fucking blindfold on, silly. I'm actually surprised that you didn't have a cab related incident you could share with us...

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