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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #901
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    that's it?
    I was lame in high school and spent the past four years either completely devoted to law or caretaking for my mom. I don't get out much.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  2. #902
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I would imagine in Bishop those are epic stories.

  3. #903
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I was a good girl in high school too.

  4. #904
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    I would imagine in Bishop those are epic stories.
    You have no idea how deprived I am here. I live with my parents, one of whom I provide full-time health care for. I have zero free time, which means I have zero sex.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  5. #905
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    We'll be back in your parts mid August. This time you have no excuses.

  6. #906
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    ...Are you coming on to me, Mrs. Gunz?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  7. #907
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I don't think I've ever been around your mother and had trouble finding sex.







    In retrospect, this might have been inappropriate.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  8. #908
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Nope. Just setting up a date for good beer and bread.

  9. #909
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    I don't think I've ever been around your mother and had trouble finding sex.







    In retrospect, this might have been inappropriate.
    Yup, more than a little, as she's the one I'm a full-time caretaker for. Mom jokes are pretty much the only thing that are a touchy subject with me. Fuck my dad all you want.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  10. #910
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Been there, done that. OSL 2012 bay bay.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  11. #911
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    My apologies, sir. Mine's going in for a couple major rounds of surgery herself soon. May have to get back to Jersey for a while again.



    In my case though, she's still a leather slut.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  12. #912
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Ooooo yeah.

    And really, humor knows no bounds. Mom joke away. I'll just fuck all the moms on the board to compensate.

    (Maybe not Amyzzz, but she does seem pretty freaky)
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  13. #913
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    It was a lame joke and a low blow, but for some reason that's the area I tend to work. Most likely due to shortness.

    If you want assistance fucking board moms, I know a chick I can import back from London who could wrangle every one of them for you and deliver them on your dick.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  14. #914
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Why are you so nice to other people?

  15. #915
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Oh wait . . .

  16. #916
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Cause those other people shut the fuck up when they should shut the fuck up.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  17. #917
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Instead of sitting there with their iPads, munching away on weed brownies and getting so fucking high they turn their already half-witted asses into babbling vats of fucking nonsense.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  18. #918
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I've never been good with taking orders.

  19. #919
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    And all my dreams are smashed

  20. #920
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Instead of sitting there with their iPads, munching away on weed brownies and getting so fucking high they turn their already half-witted asses into babbling vats of fucking nonsense.
    This sounds fucking awesome to me.

  21. #921
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    It is awesome. Babbling nonsense is awesome. Everyone knows this except for stupid curmudgeon curmudgeons who rampage when you spill wine and coals on the carpet and don't share the Netflix.

  22. #922
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    My mom hid our VHS copy of Bring It On cus my brother fapped to it too much.
    They let this play for a Saturday night movie when I was in jail once. Every guy stopped what they were doing, took a seat and watched with intent.

    Didn't they make 6 of them? So does anyone watch porno with their partners?

  23. #923
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by VigoTheCarpathian View Post
    You are one giant premature ejaculation that keeps happening over and over again.
    While you have to admire his attempt at recycling his own handjobs, it's a shame that the best part of Randy ended up running down and then drying up on the leg of his first big boy bed.

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Jesus Christ. You ever been tested for Asperger's, Gunz? Seriously. Know when you're not welcome, wanted, or useful. This is turning into a young Brokendoll.
    Would it be too much to ask of y'all to avoid interrupting this transformation process until at least the 25 year mark? Kthnx



    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  24. #924
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Lucky tie
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  25. #925
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Oh Jesus Christ can't we talk about Bmack cock for just a fucking second?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  26. #926
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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  27. #927
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    More stories, bmack. Or more details. Shut UP, gunz.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  28. #928
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    DISSED BY AMYZZZ
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  29. #929
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    More stories, bmack. Or more details. Shut UP, gunz.
    Yea Bmack. I have no sex tales to tell .... cr****
    Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine

  30. #930
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I need more stories.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

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