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Thread: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

  1. #2611
    old school NachoCat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals


  2. #2612
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Nachocat,
    That's a weird letter considering some men have hair all over their bodies, not just their pubes. Meh.

    Amy
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  3. #2613
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Nachocat,
    That's a weird letter considering some men have hair all over their bodies, not just their pubes. Meh.

    Amy
    Dear Amyzzz,
    Should we tell Nachocat that the misguided pube he's freaking out about is probably nothing compared to the urine saturated tile he's been standing on? Or that stuff he may think is soap scum running down the side of the stall? Hmm, maybe not, huh?
    Sincerely TMI, I know...
    Brokendoll
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  4. #2614
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear google,

    quit fucking interrupting me when i'm typing. you keep thinking you know what i'm going to type before i'm done typing like some ADD kid hopped up on goofballs. do you not realize this then fucks up the word i am in the middle of typing and i have to go back and fix it? i'm sorry if my internet or whatever isn't quite at hyperdrive speed yet, but for fucks sake, just let me finish typing my search before you guess what it is.

    sincerely,

    bitch who'd like to finish her sentence.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  5. #2615
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals


    I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish your search, but did you mean...
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  6. #2616
    Coachella Junkie shakermaker113's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    well played.

  7. #2617
    Member thewoodenman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear taco bueno,

    please open some locations here in arizona. bueno chiladas, muchacos, those cinnamon chips. you put taco bell to shame. think about it.

    missing you like a fat kid misses cake,
    m
    3/2 Sasha // Big Gigantic
    3/8 STS9, Cherub
    3/19 Eric Clapton
    3/21 EOTO, Govinda
    3/29 Eskmo
    4/4-4/6 Lotus @ Boulder Theater, CO
    4/8 Sigur Ros
    4/12 Gramatik
    4/15 Morrissey
    4/19 Umphrey's McGee // The M Machine
    4/20 Dirty Phonics
    5/2 Alk3
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    5/31 Lucky Date
    6/3 Postal Service
    6/13-6/16 Bonnaroo

  8. #2618
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post

    I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish your search, but did you mean...
    ha ha ha ha ha ha
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  9. #2619
    Coachella Junkie weeklymix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear World:

    You let Jessica Simpson's fashion line make 750 million dollars in 2010? What the fuck were you thinking?


    Sincerely,
    Me.

  10. #2620
    old school heyeric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Facebook,

    You fail so fucking much. First I had Myspace to stay in touch with artists and when that site became utter crap I looked to you to create and develop a music section, which you did thankfully. Today, I find out you have removed some of these artists I added to keep up to date with because of LAME FUCKING licensing agreements. Thanks for nothing.

    Crap Out,
    Eric.

  11. #2621
    Coachella Junkie weeklymix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Seth MacFarlane:

    I don't expect much from you. I really don't. Your bread and butter is typically background noise and occasionally I laugh at the cutaways. This all being said, how the fuck could you "okay" an episode centered around drinking responsibly? There goes any hope you had of distancing yourself from South Park you halfwitted meatbag.

    Sincerely,
    A guy who used to kind of like your show when he was drunk.

  12. #2622

    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear stomach,

    Calm the fuck down.


    Sincerely,
    Bomboclat

  13. #2623
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Rolling Stone magazine,

    This week's edition, the one featuring Justin Bieber of the cover, has an article titled "The Clash: The Secret History of Punk's Greatest Band". However, it is not clear to me what is "secret" about this history. I picked up the magazine last night and read the article and I didn't learn a single new fact. I literally knew every single story or anecdote, every theme and theory, that the article put forth. Apparently, the writer put together his 'secret history' by watching Westway to the World and reading the Salewicz bio. Absolutely no actual journalism went into the making of that article.

    Rolling Stone, I should have known better, shouldn't I have? I mean I've even told people on this board that you were out of touch as early as 1980, why would I think things were different? My bad.

    Go fuck yourself,

    Tom
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  14. #2624
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Tom,

    I hope you actually send that letter to Rolling Stone.

    Encouraging antagonism,

    Rick
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    In his defense I do remember there being an upsurge of black coworker on white coworker exlaxings in LA after Rodney King.

  15. #2625
    Member zircona1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by thewoodenman View Post
    dear taco bueno,

    please open some locations here in arizona. bueno chiladas, muchacos, those cinnamon chips. you put taco bell to shame. think about it.

    missing you like a fat kid misses cake,
    m
    I love their Beef Nacho Salad. Top it off with onions and pico de gallo from the salsa bar, good stuff.
    We're here to play some Mississippi Delta Blues. We're in a horrible depression, and I gotta admit - we're starting to like it.

  16. #2626
    Coachella Junkie weeklymix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Amazon.com / Seller in Question / United States Postal Service :

    I ordered something through you, from you or shipped by you depending on who's being addressed on Monday, February 14th. Because I was moving some things from southern Texas to northern California later in the month, I figured I would pay the extra $5 for expedited shipping so it could make the move with me. This was an option you said would guarantee the package in 2-6 days and allowed me to pay extra money to do so. Call me hard to satisfy but I was a little perturbed to see the package had not been sent out by the seller until February 18th, 4 business days into the "expedited" process already. I figured you had already blown the 6 day estimation as the seller was located on the East Coast. You can imagine my surprise at how awful the USPS's tracking system was when there was no update until February 26th, 11 business days after ordering the product. You see, USPS, you made the mistake of updating the status on a Saturday, which meant you also had or were "working" on delivering my package the previous Saturday. I was prepared to give you the full weekend off, but it's apparent you're still in full session on Saturdays. Luckily though on the 26th it said the package had been received in Dallas, which at most must be 2 days away from my soon-to-be previous address in San Antonio (especially for someone who ordered expedited shipping).

    That all being said, you must understand my confusion when my package was being updated for arrival in its "destination" location in Texarkana, TX, which happens to be 3 hours in the wrong direction 2 days later on the 28th of February. You must again understand my confusion when 15 minutes later it was "forwarded to a different delivery address" from another post office in Texarkana, AR. You see, I know it's a different post office because the city Texarkana straddles the state line, and it arrived at a Texas location before being shipped back out from an Arkansas location. Hopefully it will arrive to my house while I'm in back in Texas for the next 3-4 days.

    Luckily for me, there's a way I can kind of get in touch with USPS. Oh, you mean your entire phone customer service support is automated? The only way I can guarantee a personal response is emailing you? How long does that take to get a response? 2-3 days? Cool.

    Great service,
    Zack

    (This was actually sent to all 3).

  17. #2627
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Tom.

    Being that you are old as dust and that the Clash broke up 25 years ago, it is of no surprise that you did not find any secrets in that Rolling Stone article.

    FB
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  18. #2628

    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Charlie Sheen,

    No one cares.

    -TV audience

  19. #2629
    Chest Rockwell Gribbz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Pretty much.


    Anyway, Charlie Sheen has always been a coke head.
    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
    Has Pitchfork revealed it's top 200 covers by Arcade Fire yet?

    Run the Jewels - 10/16 - Red 7
    Screaming Females - 10/23 - Red 7
    Guy Gerber - 10/29 - Vulcan Gas Company
    Fun Fun Fun Fest -11/7 - 11/9 - Auditorium Shores
    Caribou & Jessy Lanza - 11/23 - The Mohawk

  20. #2630
    old school choice cat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Cosmopolitan Hotel,

    Please figure out your ticket system. Or just let ticketly do it.

    Thanks

  21. #2631
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Steig Larsson.



    09 February 2009
    Dimensions in Mathematics - a phantom, a chimera
    Readers who will have snagged a copy of Steig Larsson's newest thriller The Girl Who Played with Fire (it's out in the UK, translated from the original Swedish; US edition is coming in July) will have noticed that female protagonist Lisbeth Salander satisfies her nascent interest in spherical astronomy with the help of a book titled "Dimensions in Mathematics," written by one L. C. Parnault and apparently published by Harvard University Press in 1999.

    Unfortunately for those of you who would like to follow in Lisbeth's footsteps and penetrate the "dimensions of mathematics" for yourselves, you'll have to turn somewhere other than the work of the esteemed Dr. Parnault, for as far as we can tell, and if our memories and our computers have not completely failed us, HUP has in fact published no such work, in 1999 or at any other time. Thus it seems that Mr. Larsson, whose Scandanavian crime fiction has won him a good deal of posthumous fame, leaves us with more than just fictional mysteries. We can only speculate about what Dr. Parnault would have been like, had we actually known or published him, and as for the contents of his mythical "Dimensions," well, that's an even greater mystery. For all we know, it could be the key to the universe or something, and now it's gone missing! So if you've spied a copy of "Dimensions" in some musty back-alley secondhand shop, or know the whereabouts of our friend Dr. Parnault, or if somehow you yourself are Dr. Parnault, just, um, get in touch.

    Posted at 11:35 AM in Books, Publishing | Permalink ShareThis

    Technorati Tags: Harvard University Press, Steig Larsson, The Girl Who Played with Fire
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  22. #2632
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Karma and or possible universal force/diety,

    Seriously?

    Japan
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  23. #2633
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Hangover,

    Please vacate the premises. And take your friend Sleep Madness with you.

    Brokenly begging,

    Corinna
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  24. #2634
    Coachella Junkie weeklymix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Adrian Peterson,

    I would pick cotton for 11 million dollars a year. You play football. Shut the fuck up.

    Sincerely,
    Normal people

  25. #2635
    Member DANCE MAGIC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear assholes,

    Get fucked.

    -- scott
    Quote Originally Posted by weeklymix View Post
    you shut your whorish mouth when talking about the sea king.

  26. #2636
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear makers of the swiffer wet jet,

    thanks for sending me a coupon good for a free one after i sent an email explaining how my previous two had broken due to some design flaw and how disappointed i was with this fact.

    --a happy stay at home dad who loves any item that makes cleaning up after 2 kids just a little bit easier.

  27. #2637
    old school choice cat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    dear makers of the swiffer wet jet,

    thanks for sending me a coupon good for a free one after i sent an email explaining how my previous two had broken due to some design flaw and how disappointed i was with this fact.

    --a happy stay at home dad who loves any item that makes cleaning up after 2 kids just a little bit easier.
    love it when I get good customer service like that. You'd be surprised sometimes what companies will do when you give them a little feedback.

  28. #2638
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    dear makers of the swiffer wet jet,

    thanks for sending me a coupon good for a free one after i sent an email explaining how my previous two had broken due to some design flaw and how disappointed i was with this fact.

    --a happy stay at home dad who loves any item that makes cleaning up after 2 kids just a little bit easier.
    Similar thing happened to me with another company.

    "blah blah blah...I will never purchase these items again."

    "Here's a coupon for said item."

    Basically, they don't give a shit and probably just sent an auto reply.




    Life,

    Fuck me.

    Mario
    P.S. - I know, you already are.

  29. #2639
    Member DANCE MAGIC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by DANCE MAGIC View Post
    Dear assholes,

    Get fucked.

    -- scott
    Dear same assholes,

    really? that guy doesn't even work here. i've been fucking killing it for you ungrateful bastards for years now.

    you disappoint me.

    -- scott
    Quote Originally Posted by weeklymix View Post
    you shut your whorish mouth when talking about the sea king.

  30. #2640
    Lurker daisyBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear school that i really wanted to attend,

    you suck. no one should have to be put on a wait list for three years. NO ONE.

    disgusted,
    DC
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Cousin,

    You buy way too much make up. You seriously don't need that much make up.

    Easy, breezy, beautiful,
    DC

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Call of Duty: Black Ops,

    Thank you for bringing my boyfriend much, much closer. Killing zombies has never been so much fun.

    Line 'em up and shoot 'em down,
    DC

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