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Thread: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

  1. #181
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear body,

    You're only supposed to be sick when I want to stay home from work, not when I actually come in to work and want to get stuff done. Stop messing around.

    frustrated,
    mind

  2. #182
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Roommate,

    We have now lived together for 4 months. It is no longer appropriate to call me "Excuse me".

    Informally,
    Hey You
    --------------------
    Dear Bill Nye,

    Can you please explain to me how it is scientifically possible for it to be colder in my [AC free] apartment than it is outside? I know you had nothing to do with it, but I'm sure you can come up with some good analogy using household objects.

    Nostalgic,
    Hannah
    ------------------------
    Dear Blankets,

    Be warmer. And multiply.

    Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
    Hannah

  3. #183
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear London girls,

    How do you seemingly walk for miles on cobblestones in high heels while drunk? Please share your secrets. In exchange, I'll even tell you how to deal with New York City subway grates in stilettos.

    envious,
    an American girl's still-sore right ankle

  4. #184
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Macguyver,

    I broke my printer and need someone to fix it. I have to spare: a few safetypins, a pair of sunglasses, some hairties, a shot glass, and some silk tulips. Will you give it a go?

    Love,
    Hannah

  5. #185
    Dick Nicewonger kreutz2112's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Hannah,

    It is colder in your house than it is outside because the cold air from previous days gets trapped in your house. Whereas the air outside is almost immediately warmed by the sun. If you take a large glass cup with a lid on it and put it in the freezer overnight then take it out and let it sit for about 30 - 60 min then take the lid off and immediately stick your hand inside the cup it should feel cool inside.

    Scientifically Yours,
    Bill
    RAPE STOVE

    white power?!

  6. #186
    Member samiksha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Hannah,

    New Ink Cartrige.

    Duh,
    Sami

  7. #187
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dearest fellow secretary,

    youre full of shit. i know you have a cough. everyone knows you have a fucken cough. just dont act like a tough bitch, gab on the phone with your friends all day with a mouth full of canned ravioli followed by a king size snickers bar and turn around and whimper like an injured puppy when the boss is around.

    you annoy the shit out of me,
    kim

  8. #188
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Sehr geehrter Deutsch,

    Ich verstehe Sie nicht.

    Frustriert,
    Courtney

  9. #189
    Member John Peel is My Co-pilot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Sehr geehrter Deutsch,

    Ich verstehe Sie nicht.

    Frustriert,
    Courtney
    Deer Courtney

    Worry don't for my understanding is same for English.

    Signed

    German
    A teenage dream, so hard to beat...

  10. #190
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear portable mp3 player inventor,

    I know I'm behind the times only just have purchased a small 2 gig mp3 player yesterday. But I just had to write to thank you. It is what has been missing from my life. I actually look forward to working out now. I can listen to Daft Punk live at Coachella really loud while trying to keep up with the beat on my eliptical and it's great. It's amazing. You may have saved my life.

    Eternally Grateful,
    PF
    .................................................. ..............
    She added the phrase "meany head" to my profile.
    I hardly think I'm an attention whore.
    I train birds of prey and am I licensed falconer

  11. #191
    No Clownery full on idle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    mmmmm ellipticalllll

  12. #192
    minorse wrangler ewiggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Courtney,

    Pas auf, bitch.

    tschüssie,
    Sehr geehrter Deutsch

  13. #193
    No Clownery full on idle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Auf!

    Der,
    Mar

  14. #194
    Member La Ferrassie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Rain,

    I like you. I rarely ever see you and it was really pleasant seeing you today. Although I got wet coming home from school, you got me out of running in PE today, so thanks.

    You Are Wet,
    Patrick

  15. #195
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    you got me out of running in PE today
    Are you in high school?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  16. #196
    Member samiksha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    AWWWWWW

  17. #197
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear San Francisco,

    It's looking like I'm going to head out a little early. I'll miss you.

    I'm keeping my heart but you can have a kidney,
    Hannah

  18. #198
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Beck,

    The fact that you're a Scientologist confuses me. I mean, I'm all for freedom of religion and not meddling in other people's personal lives, but being a Scientologist is just so lame. It makes me lose all my otherwise lassiez-faire convictions and want become all self-righteous on your ass.

    still like your music,
    Courtney

  19. #199
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Dear Beck,

    The fact that you're a Scientologist confuses me. I mean, I'm all for freedom of religion and not meddling in other people's personal lives, but being a Scientologist is just so lame. It makes me lose all my otherwise lassiez-faire convictions and want become all self-righteous on your ass.

    still like your music,
    Courtney
    i'm not sure if he's actually a "practicing" scientologist per se. i think he was just raised in it (among other things). i too have found this perplexing though. at first i thought it was a joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Dear San Francisco,

    It's looking like I'm going to head out a little early. I'll miss you.

    I'm keeping my heart but you can have a kidney,
    Hannah
    cough.

    happy travels.

  20. #200
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by mob roulette View Post
    i'm not sure if he's actually a "practicing" scientologist per se. i think he was just raised in it (among other things). i too have found this perplexing though. at first i thought it was a joke.
    happy travels.
    I read in Rollingstone that if your family are all Scientologists and you leave Scientology, your family will disown you and have nothing to do with you (as dictated by the Scientology religion). Maybe he just wants to keep seeing his family? Pure speculation here though.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  21. #201
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear San Diego Thunderstorm,

    Where have you been all my life? Or, more realistically, the last year-ish. I will bask in your glory as long as you provide it.

    Busting out candles just in case,
    5-year-old Alma


  22. #202
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Dear Isaac Brock,

    It's going to be okay.

    Shankfully yours,
    Tim

    --------------------
    Dear Jerry Falwell,

    You are the anti-christ, and you can join the Discovery Institute in Hell.

    Evolutionarily,
    Tim

    --------------------
    Dear Physics Test Tomorrow,

    Don't be so hard on me.

    In prayers,
    Tim
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  23. #203
    Member La Ferrassie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Are you in high school?
    Dear Amyzzz,

    Yeah, sorry if I cramp your style.

    Patrick

  24. #204
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Dear Mysterious Trash-Pooper
    I'm pretty sure this was the working title for "Dear Catastrophe Waitress".

  25. #205
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by thefunkylama View Post
    Dear San Diego Thunderstorm,

    Where have you been all my life? Or, more realistically, the last year-ish. I will bask in your glory as long as you provide it.

    Busting out candles just in case,
    5-year-old Alma
    Dear Lama,
    The rain turned my shoes into kiddie-pools on my way home from a 45 page final. Kindly do not encourage it to continue.

    Wetly disgruntled,
    Corinna
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  26. #206
    minorse wrangler ewiggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear man at my work who suggested I call him "Cowboy",

    you have a badge on, so I guess you work here. however, approaching me when I'm outside, by myself at 12:20am to tell me "I've seen you around, and I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful", makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure you're crossing a line into sexual harassment when you won't leave me alone and continue to stare at me even when I've brushed you off and gone back to reading my paper.

    not walking to my car by myself and also not calling you "Cowboy",
    kristen

  27. #207
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    Quote Originally Posted by ewiggy View Post
    dear man at my work who suggested I call him "Cowboy",

    you have a badge on, so I guess you work here. however, approaching me when I'm outside, by myself at 12:20am to tell me "I've seen you around, and I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful", makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure you're crossing a line into sexual harassment when you won't leave me alone and continue to stare at me even when I've brushed you off and gone back to reading my paper.

    not walking to my car by myself and also not calling you "Cowboy",
    kristen
    ewww, creepy.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  28. #208
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear my iPod,

    I will be taking you to the iPod hospital to see the iPod doctor today. I do hope you come out of your coma. That sad face is so upsetting, and the x's for eyes make me fear the worst.

    Hoping all you need is a bit of minor surgery,
    Tom
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  29. #209
    Brackish African wmgaretjax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear tom,

    my ipod did the same thing. when I tried to turn it on I heard that awful hard drive clicking sound. i hit it on my desk really hard. now it works.

    hope that helps,
    jared

  30. #210
    minorse wrangler ewiggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Open Letters to Specific Organizations and/or Individuals

    dear "cowboy", or whatever,

    i was telling my boss about you, when from across the room i hear a female co-worker yell "THAT GUY DID THE SAME THING TO ME!". we've reported you to security. stop it.

    i am woman hear me roar,
    kristen

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