Dear Citizens of Long Beach,

In the future, please obey all pedestrian crosswalk signals. I refer you to the California Vehicle Code for specific instructions as to right of way at traffic signals. And for the record, you are not doing me a solid by pausing and waving me through when I have a green light and you are blatantly walking across the street anyway.

Yours in Christ,

fac429

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Dear Guy Who Works at the Liquor Store Near My House,

While I appreciate your prompt customer service, it would be nice if you waited for me to order my bottle of Jagermeister before you turn to grab it from the shelf. When you grab the Jagermeister before I've even asked for it, it makes me feel like an alcoholic.

Cheers,

fac429
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Dear Sun,

Okay, we get it. You are an astounding collection of constant nuclear explosions which sustain life in this planet. But can you PLEASE tone it down a little? My house does not have air conditioning, and there's only so much an oscillating fan can do when there's no cross-breeze in the living room.

Warmly,

fac429