Coachella cuddle buddy?

[Robin]

I need someone to take care of me! Will you wipe my butt after I poop?

[Emma Ocean]

I have to admit, I'm kind of intrigued...

[Kyliediscope]

Emma Ocean is vying for my title for 2011.

[blackchango]

[Emma Ocean]

Emma Ocean is vying for my title for 2011.

what title is that?

[baily]

Where is the you gonna get raped pict?

[captncrzy]

what title is that?

That would be "Attention Whore". And boy, are you well on your way.

[captncrzy]

Hello, this is my first year at coachella, after wanting to go for almost ten years. I'm very excited, as you might expect. I'm going with a large group of very close friends, most of which are couples. This may sound odd, but I'm much more comfortable in new situations if I have someone to look out for. I'm 25yo, female, bisexual. I'm what you'd call a hardcore femme, I'm small, wear tight clothing, makeup, do my hair etc, but I'm very aggressive, masculine and strong, though I may not look the part at first. Looking for a lady to take care of, who needs a cuddle buddy, a bodyguard, and some TLC. If you might be interested, please let me know, I plan on having a phenomenal time.

P.S. I might be a technological moron, because I'm trying to upload a picture of myself but it isn't working, so if you want a picture, just ask and I'll send you some.

I look like Rosie O'Donnell...does that work?

I also charge Rosie O'Donnell-size fees for said work.

[TommyboyUNM]

Where is the you gonna get raped pict?

It's stuck in the year 2005.

[hawkingvsreeve]

So are you strictly bound to the female only thing, or... would a really pretty boy be ok?

[captncrzy]

Brandon is slender and hairless. I think it could work.

[Radiohead]

Where!?!?!?

I've traveled the Gobi, I've seen the Mojave and I've witnessed the Sahara and never has this ever happened for me!

Maybe your standards are too high.

[getbetter]

Brandon is slender and hairless. I think it could work.

I heard he does awesome hand dancing too.

[Emma Ocean]

That would be "Attention Whore". And boy, are you well on your way.

bahaha stoked *flicks hair over shoulder*

I just meant I found it interesting and would like to know more about what she meant. What being a 'hardcore femme' is, and what being masculine, aggressive and strong entails and in regards to what. Does she mean towards her hook up or to the eccy smashing metro fuckwits in the crowd that might give them a hard time?
yes, I'm intrigued.

[frizzlefry]

Did anyone else get the inclination that cuddle buddy is actually masculine femme code for Bitch?

[thetello]

bahaha stoked *flicks hair over shoulder*

I just meant I found it interesting and would like to know more about what she meant. What being a 'hardcore femme' is, and what being masculine, aggressive and strong entails and in regards to what. Does she mean towards her hook up or to the eccy smashing metro fuckwits in the crowd that might give them a hard time?
yes, I'm intrigued.

i'm intrigued by your aussie jargon. please, continue.

[neis218]

I got mine!!

[orangejulius]

This talk of protection is kind of hilarious. How bad can violent crime be at Coachella? A gaggle of twenty-something hipsters going to assault you for wearing a Phoenix shirt? Perhaps a roaming band of stray dogs could descend upon you without warning?

I'm not very physically formidable, but the prospect of getting cut/stabbed turns most scumbags away. Security should take care of the rest.

[daxton]

Emma Ocean is vying for my title for 2011.

If she is, she's going about it a completely different way.

[Chinfie]

bahaha stoked *flicks hair over shoulder*

I just meant I found it interesting and would like to know more about what she meant. What being a 'hardcore femme' is, and what being masculine, aggressive and strong entails and in regards to what. Does she mean towards her hook up or to the eccy smashing metro fuckwits in the crowd that might give them a hard time?
yes, I'm intrigued.

Lmao these folks crack me up. And yes, that means bodyguard status, hold you on my shoulders to see the stage, don't let anyone harass you, and basically all around protective, nurturing stuff. I would love to get more than a cuddle, I'm a major giver and it's been too long since I've been with a woman, but I'm not forceful in anyway shape or form. I'm very respectful. I just see too many ladies getting dolled up in minimal clothing, being harassed by tiny dick douchebags saying that they must be asking for it. And I think you're very pretty, btw. I'm also not going to answer any of the annoying, pathetic lemmings on here that just want to hate on me. Also, for the record, I'm not describing myself as hardcore femme, that's what an ex girlfriend called me awhile back.

[Chinfie]

Did anyone else get the inclination that cuddle buddy is actually masculine femme code for Bitch?

LMAO and if "bitch" were what I meant, I would have just used your name, sugar tits.

[Kyliediscope]

I like this girl's attitude at the very least.

[Emma Ocean]

can we change it from Attention Whore to Show Pony? I like that better...

[Theijuiel]

can we change it from Attention Whore to Show Pony? I like that better...

Sure, if you wanna saddle up.

[Kyliediscope]

No.

[Emma Ocean]

This talk of protection is kind of hilarious. How bad can violent crime be at Coachella? A gaggle of twenty-something hipsters going to assault you for wearing a Phoenix shirt? Perhaps a roaming band of stray dogs could descend upon you without warning?

I'm not very physically formidable, but the prospect of getting cut/stabbed turns most scumbags away. Security should take care of the rest.

so I assume you've never been cunt punched at a festival? Well lucky you!

[GuyInTucson]

LMAO and if "bitch" were what I meant, I would have just used your name, sugar tits.

[Dustin da DnB Soulja]

can we change it from Attention Whore to Show Pony? I like that better...

Whhhhaaaaatttttt who wants to take a ride?!?!?!

[GuyInTucson]

can we change it from Attention Whore to Show Pony? I like that better...

You mean, like the show ponies in Tijuana?

[captncrzy]

can we change it from Attention Whore to Show Pony? I like that better...

Case in point.