WANT(lovingly cut into the shape of a Star Wars ship)
That's why the title is singular. Don't tell me I can't yell at Chicago for a mistake happening within it.
Horseman #22: Random Beheadings.
Somebody ran into a supermarket yesterday, beheaded a random woman, and ran off holding the bloodied head by the hair. No rhyme. No reason. No relation. Just some lady. You're already going to die every time you kiss your grubby little Jayne Mansfield vignetted 4x6 goodbye and crawl out from your cement bunker for another gunnysack's worth of root vegetables. But now, even if by some miracle you should manage to safely traverse the pendulous ropes course that is not dying every fucking time you step outside your residence and actually get to experience the metallic reassurance of the delicate there-will-be-no-bloodbath-today door chime that alerts a store's staff to your presence, you're running a risk of malicious decapitation. She was random. I'm random and you're random. Both our mothers are random. We have random decapitations now. Lock your doors.
To be fair, this was in the Canary Islands. I don't trust any of those resort islands "paradises" where the third world is on the other side of a wall. The only thing worse than living in poverty is living in poverty next to rich people cavorting.
To be fair, he fucking ran into a supermarket and cut a lady's head off while screaming about meting out justice for God. To be fair.
To be fair.Originally Posted by Forbes
if she didn't want her head cut off she shouldn't have been dressed that way
Do you really think God has time to do it all itself?
What if it comes out that this woman has, like 300 children buried in her back yard?
Yeah but she probably doesn't otherwise "God's" avenger would have just been the law.
Clean up. Aisle 6.
Horseman #666: Whitney Cummings' Sitcom Picked Up By NBC & CBS Picks Up A Completely Different Sitcom Created By Whitney Cummings
Jesus Motherfucking Christ are you kidding me? This is disgusting.
Re: The Canary Islands decapitation. They're pretty integrated resorts, as such goes, and to be fair, the decapitator guy was a homeless Bulgarian with long history of psychiatric illness and public order problems with the local police.
Last edited by MissingPerson; 05-21-2011 at 04:34 PM.
Horseman #6: The Dental Assistant Asked Me What Pandora Station I Wanted and When I Said How About Bob Dylan She Said "What Does He Sing?"
The dental assistant asked me what Pandora station I wanted and when I said how about Bob Dylan, she said "What does he sing?" and then she put power tools in my mouth and I let her and then she said "okay, so it's kinda bluesy." This woman is running around mouthtooling people like nothing's wrong.
BOB DYLAN WHAT DOES HE SING
He's a DJ.
Drew Barrymore's releasing her own personal wine. Won't be long now.
"A fan of crisp, fruity white wines, Barrymore has created a wine that reflects her style and personality: fresh, dynamic and fun," the Wilson Daniels website says
I LET HER PUT TOOLS IN MY MOUTH.
and I'm running out of dry heave. You may compose your own as an endorsed guest panelist just this once if you like.She later decided to put the McNugget on the auction block and let the market have its way with her tasty gem.
Horseman #52: "Jayden" Fourth Most Popular Name For Boys Born in 2011
I wonder if the meth scabs hinder the surgeon's ability to convincingly stitch things back up after a harrowing delivery.
google 'Jayden Jaymes'. nsfw.