The Gays* Only Thread

[SoulDischarge]

No no no. You have the right thread. We like tits.

[hiben]

Does this scenario ever happen to anyone:

Straight Friend #1: Oh man I just remembered, I have to work on Sunday
Straight Friend #2: Aww thats fucking gay
Straight Friend #2: Oh sorry Chris no offense!

ummm shut up, I don't find it offensive at all when people use the word gay in that context. Its just annoying when they get all apologetic for saying it around me.

yep.

So do let me know where the gay friendly parties are at Coachella! Or just friendly camping! My friend and I are going this year but won't have anyone else to chill with! And I love this thread by the way.

[SoulDischarge]

What's the consensus on hitting on couples? If you sense there could be interest, do you make the first move or let them? Also, what's the consensus on inconspicuously copping an "accidental" feel in the middle of a sweaty dancefloor if you think the guy next to you is interested? Creepy? Hot? Dangerous?

[edbangme]

What's the consensus on hitting on couples? If you sense there could be interest, do you make the first move or let them? Also, what's the consensus on inconspicuously copping an "accidental" feel in the middle of a sweaty dancefloor if you think the guy next to you is interested? Creepy? Hot? Dangerous?

Hmm not sure about the couples thing I tried having a threesome once and I didn't really enjoy it the other guy kind of ended up getting cut out of the picture lol. I am soooooo bad about the "accidental" feel trick on the dance floor but the truth is it works way more than it doesn't (at least for me) only got called out once haaha pretty embarrassing. It is kind of weird though if your on the receiving end of the grope and its someone you are really not into.

[Genedefekt]

Damn, is this not the friendliest thread on the board?!

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dustin, I'm an absolute Coachella fanatic (although I'm guessing this doesn't separate me from the crowd here). Went to the very first Coachella in 1999 when I was 18. This'll be my 10th year in attendance (I'm 29 now).

I've been on this board for years, though I've been on the quiet side, and haven't put in the effort to make friends.

In previous years, I've attended Coachella with up to 26 friends. This year, due to the fast sellout and most of my friends being broke-ass mofos, I'm going with 2 people (if you don't count my Mom who's coming for her 4th year - she just LOVES the Scissor Sisters). So I've got a vested interest in making a few friends here before April. So hey everyone, looking forward to getting to know you guys

[sbessiso]

Does this scenario ever happen to anyone:

Straight Friend #1: Oh man I just remembered, I have to work on Sunday
Straight Friend #2: Aww thats fucking gay
Straight Friend #2: Oh sorry Chris no offense!

ummm shut up, I don't find it offensive at all when people use the word gay in that context. Its just annoying when they get all apologetic for saying it around me.

Oh god, all the time and it drives me fucking crazy. And then when they call you out like that. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT DOESNT BOTHER ME

What's the consensus on hitting on couples? If you sense there could be interest, do you make the first move or let them? Also, what's the consensus on inconspicuously copping an "accidental" feel in the middle of a sweaty dancefloor if you think the guy next to you is interested? Creepy? Hot? Dangerous?

Interesting, ive never been in a situation where I wanted to hit on a couple. I literally have no idea how to go about doing that. So much for me to learn.

But on the copping a feel part, thats something ive become a little more tuned to. There have been so many times where I think back in retrospect and realize that YEAH that guy was totally into me. Like I said before, im much more confident than ive ever been in my life but stuff like this still makes me so shy. So many times I wanna be slick and try and make a move but just kinda choke at the last minute. I really need to work on that.

Example:

At Sea of Dreams this year I spent most of my time at the Oppulent Temple where the whole dance floor was one big sweaty orgy thanks to all the break beats. But anyone, I noticed this one guy that was super cute and I was totally checking him out. Cut to later on and I find myself in the same open area as him and we're both dancing. Something about the way we were positioned with this space between us, just felt so awkward. This time im really checking him out and he is absolutely not looking at me but I can tell that he is from his peripheral vision. I tell myself "ok, just go with it", and we start dancing slowly getting closer to each other (he's not actually looking at me the whole time remember, which I think threw me off a bit). We finally get to each other and then I kinda choke and dont know what to do! He sticks his ass out just slightly and I start dancing on him for like a second and then he disappears.

Determined, Im going through the crowd and out of nowhere he's right in front of me again. Without thinking I get his attention and this is what REALLY threw me off, the moment I got his attention he looked straight at me in my face for the first time and said "whats up" (but it was all really intense). I choked again and said something stupid like "how are you" (UGH!!!), he replies "Fine" with a smile and leaves into the crowd again.

I see him one more time in the night, I go up to him but this time its awkward because it looks like he's either with people or theres another guy trying to do the same thing. I go up to him and again he sticks his ass out just slightly, we dance for a second and then he disappears again.

There are two morals to this story. Number one is I have to be more dominant sometimes in these situations, I just *know* that if I was more forceful he would have been mine (he totally wanted it. I could tell). Number 2 is LSD really fucks with your head.

/COOL STORY GIRL

Hmm not sure about the couples thing I tried having a threesome once and I didn't really enjoy it the other guy kind of ended up getting cut out of the picture lol. I am soooooo bad about the "accidental" feel trick on the dance floor but the truth is it works way more than it doesn't (at least for me) only got called out once haaha pretty embarrassing. It is kind of weird though if your on the receiving end of the grope and its someone you are really not into.

Yeah for sure, I was in one 3some that was pretty much just a 2some and I felt kinda weird at first but then I just told myself that guy liked to watch. There was another situation where it was a lot more pleasant but I was wayyy more into one guy than the other and I didnt wanna let it show for fear of it just being kinda rude.

On getting felt up by someone youre not into, I feel like the best thing to do is just be nice about it. Like dont be rude or make it weird (unless the gay is an a-hole obviously), this way theres good karma and if the unfortunate situation occurs where you dance on someone that doesnt want it (cant fathom that happening though), they wont make you feel embarrassed about it. Or at least soften the blow.

Damn, is this not the friendliest thread on the board?!

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dustin, I'm an absolute Coachella fanatic (although I'm guessing this doesn't separate me from the crowd here). Went to the very first Coachella in 1999 when I was 18. This'll be my 10th year in attendance (I'm 29 now).

I've been on this board for years, though I've been on the quiet side, and haven't put in the effort to make friends.

In previous years, I've attended Coachella with up to 26 friends. This year, due to the fast sellout and most of my friends being broke-ass mofos, I'm going with 2 people (if you don't count my Mom who's coming for her 4th year - she just LOVES the Scissor Sisters). So I've got a vested interest in making a few friends here before April. So hey everyone, looking forward to getting to know you guys

Hi! Thanks for sharing. You should definitely consider some boardie meetups, it literally makes coachella like 10xs more fun. And your mom sounds awesome, scissor sisters are going to be fantastic. Although im really not looking forward to hearing the actual song "Take Your Mama". I havent been able to listen to that song since my mom passed away, and when I saw SS live last year I sort of burst into tears when they played it. Lame, I know. Im preparing myself for it at Coachella.

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

Does this scenario ever happen to anyone:

Straight Friend #1: Oh man I just remembered, I have to work on Sunday
Straight Friend #2: Aww thats fucking gay
Straight Friend #2: Oh sorry Chris no offense!

ummm shut up, I don't find it offensive at all when people use the word gay in that context. Its just annoying when they get all apologetic for saying it around me.

No one wants a friend who walks around on eggshells, but if it's just once or twice I think it's rather sweet; shows you have a sensitive and considerate friend. If it's a constant thing, then yes, it can get annoying. I have to say, it's often my ultra-left/social activist straight friends who get upset about that misuse of "gay".

Oh dear. Set myself up for that one.

Damn, is this not the friendliest thread on the board?!

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dustin, I'm an absolute Coachella fanatic (although I'm guessing this doesn't separate me from the crowd here). Went to the very first Coachella in 1999 when I was 18. This'll be my 10th year in attendance (I'm 29 now).

I've been on this board for years, though I've been on the quiet side, and haven't put in the effort to make friends.

In previous years, I've attended Coachella with up to 26 friends. This year, due to the fast sellout and most of my friends being broke-ass mofos, I'm going with 2 people (if you don't count my Mom who's coming for her 4th year - she just LOVES the Scissor Sisters). So I've got a vested interest in making a few friends here before April. So hey everyone, looking forward to getting to know you guys

Hey Dustin! : )


Re: Threesomes. My gay friends make fun of me for this, but I've never had one. I mean, let's face it. A threesome is... what? 2nd base for most gay men? I'm in my late 20s too. Up until now it's never interested me. Always been more interested in a one-on-one connection, but I have to admit I'm thinking about it a bit these days. Or even more than 3. Ha. If only Grace Jones was playing this year.

[JorgeC]

Damn, is this not the friendliest thread on the board?!

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dustin, I'm an absolute Coachella fanatic (although I'm guessing this doesn't separate me from the crowd here). Went to the very first Coachella in 1999 when I was 18. This'll be my 10th year in attendance (I'm 29 now).

I've been on this board for years, though I've been on the quiet side, and haven't put in the effort to make friends.

In previous years, I've attended Coachella with up to 26 friends. This year, due to the fast sellout and most of my friends being broke-ass mofos, I'm going with 2 people (if you don't count my Mom who's coming for her 4th year - she just LOVES the Scissor Sisters). So I've got a vested interest in making a few friends here before April. So hey everyone, looking forward to getting to know you guys

Hola Dustin, glad to see you coming into this area of the board. we still need to get together at a show soon (Lykke Li? Chromeo?).

Regarding hitting on couples, i would let them make the first move. whenever i've been attracted to a couple, there's always one that i like over the other so i would just rather not go down that route cuz i'd feel like a homewrecker if i tried making the first move.

there are very few couples (friends) that i've known where they is absolutely zero jealously when the play together/play separately, so whenever i've been hit on by a couple i usually feel like they'll end up in a fight or something, so i never close the deal...

Regarding getting hit on when i'm out WITH my BF is a totally different story, lol. we've been hit on a few times when it's obvious we're together and we think it's cute, but the guys are usually more flirty with one or the other. My BF is 100% against ever having a 3-way (I've offered...i'm such a slut...lol), but he does enjoy the flirting.

Now regarding "accidental" gropes on the dancefloor, while it's not my style, i'm not against it. depends on the atmosphere (is everyone hot/sweaty/horny? then yes!), are you in the middle of a douchey str8 crowd? then no.

[HunterGather]

Crush (& co-worker) walks into work to shop on day off.
Self, once again, freezes around crush and says as little as possible without seeming like an asshole.
Crush continues shopping.
Self has never seen crush outside of work clothes.
Self likes what he sees.
Wat?

[loubque]

We met about a month ago, on xmas eve and it went really well and he came over on xmas day too. We've seen each other a couple other times since then and each time I feel like it goes better and better. Most recently was last friday where we had our first *sleepover* (not the first time we've had sex), there was couch snuggling and movie watching at first and he whispered sweet nothings in my ear like "I really missed you" and "im really happy youre here" blah blah blah

Usually there would be some text conversation going on but I havent heard from him which is whats making me neurotic. Oh and I texted him a couple days ago to no response.

yeah i would say give up. but i havent read any updates on the situation. But sounds like a player.

[sbessiso]

Or even more than 3.

Power Bottom

[CrimesceneCookie]

I'd be hard pressed to think of any gay couple I know that is monogamous.
I'm probably the most monogamous out of them (Not totally monogamous but I don't look for anything, except during the occasional bear weekend in SF).
I wasn't always like that though. Had some pretty crazy times and hosted a few wild parties back when I was boozing a lot. 3 ways, 4 ways, I-lost-count-how-many-ways.
It was fun (what I remember) and have few regrets in that department, but the boozing started getting in the way. That part I don't miss. Hangovers get so much worse in your 30s and 40s, btw.

Anyone else (besides Sbessiso and Patrick) here into the whole bear/chub scene?
I always see lots of them at Coachella.

[J~$$$$]

This is why we straight people are really upset with the gay community. You all don't realize how lucky you have it. When i was single It was literally like a 1 in 500 chance that we find people who are into threesomes, increases that number and it's like hitting the lotto. For yall it's a Thursday night.

[SoulDischarge]

Yeah. That part is a pretty sweet score. Dudes are fucking whores and it's great. Anyone have plans Thursday?

[sbessiso]

Anyone else (besides Sbessiso and Patrick) here into the whole bear/chub scene?
I always see lots of them at Coachella.

This is one thing I wanted to bring up. No offense to any of you but I CANNOT STAND bears that are all about being a bear. You know the type, only go to bear bars, only go to bear events, only hang out with other bears, if someone is not bear enough for them they'll get attitude. I find it so obnoxious and goddamn irritating. GRRR WOOF GRRRR WOOOF give me a fucking break

Ive only somewhat recently accepted that my label is (i guess) a bear, but im not about that. Im just a regular gay guy first and foremost and dont identify with a "scene". Maybe thats my problem. Plus I like ALL kinds of guys.

[CrimesceneCookie]

We call those "beartards".
Believe me I have plenty of issues with them as well (most of them might as well be drag queens). I'm not a "bear" nor would I call myself one if I fit the profile, but I still like certain kinds of them.
The bear weekend in SF next month (once you get past the beartards) is pretty fun though... 4 days of partying. Haven't missed one since 1995 and this is the final year of it.

[sbessiso]

Pfft. You're just jealous you can't french braid your chest hair.

But really, I know what you mean. I am a little bit guilty though - I'm not particularly partial to super femme dudes.

Cant braid it, YET. One day my friend.

And femme dudes are wonderful to have as girlfriends. I had a few of those back home in Miami and I really miss my circle. We would laugh, pretend we're Beyonce, laugh some more, cuddle but it wouldnt be sexual which I really enjoyed. But yeah, never to date or fuck haha

We call those "beartards".
Believe me I have plenty of issues with them as well (most of them might as well be drag queens). I'm not a "bear" nor would I call myself one if I fit the profile, but I still like certain kinds of them.
The bear weekend in SF next month (once you get past the beartards) is pretty fun though... 4 days of partying. Haven't missed one since 1995 and this is the final year of it.

I saw about that party. It sounds fun but I dont think ill participate. And dont get me wrong, I do enjoy the company of a fellow bear every now and then

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

I'd be hard pressed to think of any gay couple I know that is monogamous.
I'm probably the most monogamous out of them (Not totally monogamous but I don't look for anything, except during the occasional bear weekend in SF).
I wasn't always like that though. Had some pretty crazy times and hosted a few wild parties back when I was boozing a lot. 3 ways, 4 ways, I-lost-count-how-many-ways.
It was fun (what I remember) and have few regrets in that department, but the boozing started getting in the way. That part I don't miss. Hangovers get so much worse in your 30s and 40s, btw.

Shit. I got some catching up to do.

This is why we straight people are really upset with the gay community. You all don't realize how lucky you have it. When i was single It was literally like a 1 in 500 chance that we find people who are into threesomes, increases that number and it's like hitting the lotto. For yall it's a Thursday night.

Ha ha ha ha! Yes! When I came out to my parents years ago one of the first things my dad asked me was "If you could choose to be straight, would you?" I told him I would not and that I enjoyed being gay. This was one of the supporting reasons I declined to share with him. I really pity straight men. Gay men can be total slags and still be respectable.

Power Bottom

Hey hey hey. Let's not make assumptions here, young man.

This is one thing I wanted to bring up. No offense to any of you but I CANNOT STAND bears that are all about being a bear. You know the type, only go to bear bars, only go to bear events, only hang out with other bears, if someone is not bear enough for them they'll get attitude. I find it so obnoxious and goddamn irritating. GRRR WOOF GRRRR WOOOF give me a fucking break

Ive only somewhat recently accepted that my label is (i guess) a bear, but im not about that. Im just a regular gay guy first and foremost and dont identify with a "scene". Maybe thats my problem. Plus I like ALL kinds of guys.

Glad you brought that up. I do agree with the "no offense" qualification, though. If it feels good to be part of an exclusive club; if you feel more comfortable with "your kind" then good for you. Personally, I don't identify with any of that stuff. Twinks, jocks, leather scene, bears etc. I don't care for such a compartmentalized life. Beautiful gay men come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colors and levels of hirsuteness. To a (relatively) young gay man, these scenes appear to come from another age; I really associate them with older men. I think many of us are post-scene and like variety in our lives. Again, no offense. If you feel more comfortable with your groups, that's cool. It's just not for me and I hope those labels kind of disappear in a generation or so.


So... new topic. Thoughts on sexual racism? I get into heated debates with some friends on this one, but I'm kind of shocked at how accepted sexual racism is in our "community". Few phrases make my skin crawl more than "Sorry, no offense, but no blacks/asians/etc" or "It's just a preference". I understand that many boys have grown up in homogenized upper middle class white neighborhoods and up until recently the media's representation of a gay man has been whiter than snow but I just don't understand how anyone can cut himself off from all the beauty in the world and say... Nope! I only do white guys. Open your eyes! Or am I wrong??

[CrimesceneCookie]

You can't help whom you're attracted to.

[edbangme]

So... new topic. Thoughts on sexual racism? I get into heated debates with some friends on this one, but I'm kind of shocked at how accepted sexual racism is in our "community". Few phrases make my skin crawl more than "Sorry, no offense, but no blacks/asians/etc" or "It's just a preference". I understand that many boys have grown up in homogenized upper middle class white neighborhoods and up until recently the media's representation of a gay man has been whiter than snow but I just don't understand how anyone can cut himself off from all the beauty in the world and say... Nope! I only do white guys. Open your eyes! Or am I wrong??

Ok so I have been with half-black guys (and girls...), and hispanics, and asians and I am not racist in the least bit but I do tend to be attracted more to caucasians. Its honestly just a preference, I'm just usually not attracted to black guys. But I'm not like "No Blacks allowed" lol there are still a lot of black guys (and other races) that I find attractive, just usually more attracted to white guys.

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

Hang on guys. I'm not saying you have to be into an ugly black dude or a homely South Asian. What I have a problem with is guys who dismiss an entire race of people outright. They literally have an embargo on an entire race. I find that patently offensive. Having a slight preference one way or another is not the same thing.

[its_mckenzie]

Hey everybody!
So this is going to be my very first Coachella!!!! And ya, im stoked beyond belief! Anyway i'm coming down from Vancouver Canada, but i dont really know anyone else who is coming (actually my dad bought our tix - he's kind of a rocker, so its all good) anyway im sure i'll want some time sans family, so i'd love to meet some new peeps down there......you can find me on facebook - McKenzie McMillan in Vancouver Canada

k well hope to see you in april!

[Bud Luster]

Hang on guys. I'm not saying you have to be into an ugly black dude or a homely South Asian. What I have a problem with is guys who dismiss an entire race of people outright. They literally have an embargo on an entire race. I find that patently offensive. Having a slight preference one way or another is not the same thing.

Whatever, you only bone dudes. Are you all of sudden sexist? You literally have an embargo on an entire gender!

[sbessiso]

I used to not really like asians then I moved out here and Holy Hell It's Asian Twink City!!!! You should see some of the honest-to-god jailbait that rides the bus. wait, what were we talking about again?

[gaypalmsprings]

Yeah. That part is a pretty sweet score. Dudes are fucking whores and it's great. Anyone have plans Thursday?

Forget Plursday. Try Spoogeday!

[edbangme]

Whatever, you only bone dudes. Are you all of sudden sexist? You literally have an embargo on an entire gender!

hahahahhaahahaha

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

Whatever, you only bone dudes. Are you all of sudden sexist? You literally have an embargo on an entire gender!

Come on. That's a ridiculous argument. Are you suggesting that we're genetically predisposed to only find one particular race attractive in the same way that you and I have our respective sexual orientations?

As I acknowledged, we all have preferences. That's not what I'm talking about. This is about something I see all the time on gay dating/hook-up sites and out in the gayborhoods; an outright dismissal of an entire race of people. Maybe this is different for young gay men. For many of us our sex lives are key parts of our identities. I find these exclusionary behaviors really sad.

I'll admit that "sexual racism" is a potentially inflammatory term but from my perspective this is nothing but closed minded gay men who can't get past their white-washed childhoods and a media (and porn) landscape that tells them white men are the highest form of beauty.

[CrimesceneCookie]

I'll admit that "sexual racism" is a potentially inflammatory term but from my perspective this is nothing but closed minded gay men who can't get past their white-washed childhoods and a media (and porn) landscape that tells them white men are the highest form of beauty.

gee, you've got us white boys all figured out. I'm going to go right out and blow a black guy.

[Stickjohn]

I'm amused when I see people apologize for expressing their racial or color preference.

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

gee, you've got us white boys all figured out. I'm going to go right out and blow a black guy.

Dude, it's not just white guys. I have black, Asian and Latino friends who do the very same thing because they too grew up in a world that told them that white beauty should be valued above all other forms.

Also, I have never accused any of you of this type of behavior. The majority of guys I've been with have been white and that's partly a product of where I grew up (middle class/upper-middle class San Diego suburbs). How many times do I have to say it? There'a a clear difference between a preference or living in a majority white neighborhood and outright declaring "I will never even consider looking at black/asian/latino guy."

Whatever. I'm clearly whistling in the wind here.