The Gays* Only Thread

[weareyourfriends]

JorgeC

I really like what what Courtney suggested. You might also want to consider Morrow Bay or the 5 Cities area (Arroyo Grande, Pismo, etc.). I have family friends who spend their anniversary every year at a fantastic, pet friendly B&B in Morrow Bay each year, but the name of the place is slipping my mind :/

If you have the money, frequent flyer miles, and a pet-sitter, I'd suggest getting some kind of deal on Southwest and checking out a new city for a weekend. Portland or even Vancouver could be potential destinations if you're willing to spend the money for plane tickets?

Also JorgeC, I'm wondering how life is as a gay man in Ontario? Isn't the Inland Empire pretty conservative? I heard that a neo-nazsi was running for mayor/office down there a couple months ago. I'm just curious because I don't think I'll get into UC Santa Cruz or Davis, but I might be offered admittance to UC Riverside and I just want to get a feel for how gay friendly the IE is?

[weareyourfriends]

Oh, and if you do enjoy wine tasting and old missions/churches, I highly recommend Santa Ynez wine country. It's not too far - just north of Santa Barbara but more inland. Home to Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch.

They have tons of spas, wine tasting, and hiking in a fairly beautiful setting (a little too hot/dry for my liking).

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

There are no other lesbians on this board* so may I make a home here?

* There is Tessa but I'm quite certain she is a board appointed one.

Missed this post. Don't know how I could possibly have flown by a gorgeous Polly Jean avatar. You are most certainly welcome here, lady! So... forgive the silly question, but which artist on the lineup do you think will be the biggest lesbian draw this year? I'm thinking Erykah Badu for the majority and Warpaint for the really cool indie lesbians with haircuts like this:

JorgeC
Also JorgeC, I'm wondering how life is as a gay man in Ontario? Isn't the Inland Empire pretty conservative? I heard that a neo-nazsi was running for mayor/office down there a couple months ago. I'm just curious because I don't think I'll get into UC Santa Cruz or Davis, but I might be offered admittance to UC Riverside and I just want to get a feel for how gay friendly the IE is?

The I.E. is not gay friendly, but it's getting better. I worked out there for a short while. A friend's younger brother went to UCR and had a miserable time. His transfer to Santa Cruz was the best thing that happened to him. SC is very gay friendly. I think this depends upon whether you're an undergrad or grad student and whether you're looking for some sort of gay communal college experience or if you're cool with just a couple of gay friends. If it's the former, UCR is not for you.

[weareyourfriends]

The I.E. is not gay friendly, but it's getting better. I worked out there for a short while. A friend's younger brother went to UCR and had a miserable time. His transfer to Santa Cruz was the best thing that happened to him. SC is very gay friendly. I think this depends upon whether you're an undergrad or grad student and whether you're looking for some sort of gay communal college experience or if you're cool with just a couple of gay friends. If it's the former, UCR is not for you.

Yeah, I'm really worried that I won't get into Santa Cruz. I know it's incredibly progressive with its Women/Gender & Sexuality Studies program and is very gay friendly, but I really don't think I'll get in anymore.

My ideal school would be midsize (12-18k students) and would have a reputation for being liberal/gay-friendly. My first choice that I've been accepted to so far is SUNY Purchase which is about 30 minutes north of NYC. My problem with it is that it's super artsy/liberal, but it's only about 4,000 students. I can appreciate cool/weird art and music, but I'm afraid that the entire school will be gay cigarette smoking hipsters. I'd like to find a little diversity in the homos that I go to school with, so I was just wondering if Riverside (a school with 17,500 students) would be a decent option?

Universities tend to be generally liberal/progressive and if researchers are saying that the "10% of the population is gay-rule" is a conservative gestimate, I figured Riverside could be a decent option...

[sbessiso]

OK well im going to see *this guy* tonight. Im going in with no agenda and will just play it by ear. Cool?

[caeden]

OK well im going to see *this guy* tonight. Im going in with no agenda and will just play it by ear. Cool?

very cool... this is how it should be.

[JorgeC]

Sex with a hooker is definitely not part of my normal "cheer up" repertoire.

It was offered half-jokingly. I know he loves sex (as do I) and we are always trying to help each other out in the "fulfill your fantasy" type scenarios. Before ending up with me he usually dated big/dumb jock type guys. Since i'm nothing of the sort, i've always wanted to get him a hooker that looked like Ronnie from Jersey Shore. I told him if he wants to return the favor, he can get me a hooker that looks like Ryan Reynolds.

I would probably spend the weekend at The Parker in Palm Springs getting relaxed with maybe a pedicure and a facial at their in-house spa.

Or, for his love of history, you could go up to the San Luis Obispo area, find a cute gay-friendly B&B and maybe spend one day doing Hearst Castle, and the other a hike and wine tasting in the Paso Robles area (I've seen folks bring dogs into quite a few of those tasting rooms).

Or, go luxury camping. Rent a cabin, safari tent or yurt at El Capitan Canyon outside of Santa Barbara, and enjoy snuggling up in front of a camp fire, making smores and whatnot. Hike the surrounding trails, or enjoy a horseback ride.

These are great ideas. We've talked about going to Hearst Castle before, i'm going to check into that. Luxury camping also sounds great since i've done the other kind of camping and my back hurt for a week.

Rent a shitty hotel in Chicago and huddle together as the blizzard outside rages on.

we did this in Paris one day when we got hit with snow and didn't want to go outside (the superlate night before helped us make that decision). Next time we hit Chicago will be to see IAMX on his next tour, we'll be sure to grab a drink with you Patrick.

Jorge, the longest relationship I've been in lasted 8 months so I'm probably not a good resource for "big" anniversary suggestions. Does he enjoy wine? Perhaps one of those all-inclusive winery packages in Napa Valley or down in Temecula? Hotel, spa, wine tastings, great meals, horseback riding. Napa would probably be more gay friendly. I also agree that an Atlantis style cruise doesn't sound quite right for your bf; at least not the way you've described him. If he's more of a homebody and is feeling self conscious about his weight is he really going to enjoy a gay cruise? Let's face it, on those cruises if your body fat percentage is above 3% you're probably going to feel a bit out of place.

BTW, I think it's very sweet of you to think of what he'd prefer for this anniversary celebration; especially since he's been in a bit of slump. What a good bf you are. Congrats on making it to 10 years!

Thanks Rage! I've never been on a cruise before, but have friends that have been and they say it's really fun and depending on the cruise line, is either a big whorefest with a bunch of weho gymbunny queens (the 3% body fat guys you mention above) or a more broad representation of the gay community with lots of guys/girls (and families!) of all ages, shapes and colors. I think we'd enjoy the latter.

JorgeC

I really like what what Courtney suggested. You might also want to consider Morrow Bay or the 5 Cities area (Arroyo Grande, Pismo, etc.). I have family friends who spend their anniversary every year at a fantastic, pet friendly B&B in Morrow Bay each year, but the name of the place is slipping my mind :/

If you have the money, frequent flyer miles, and a pet-sitter, I'd suggest getting some kind of deal on Southwest and checking out a new city for a weekend. Portland or even Vancouver could be potential destinations if you're willing to spend the money for plane tickets?

Also JorgeC, I'm wondering how life is as a gay man in Ontario? Isn't the Inland Empire pretty conservative? I heard that a neo-nazsi was running for mayor/office down there a couple months ago. I'm just curious because I don't think I'll get into UC Santa Cruz or Davis, but I might be offered admittance to UC Riverside and I just want to get a feel for how gay friendly the IE is?

Southwest does have some great deals, but with the bigger trip in the fall (either europe or planning on following IAMX around the US for a week or 2), can't really swing that, but I appreciate the wine country suggestions from everyone. Neither of us are much into wine, unless it's white and supersweet (we both like Riesling...which he only tried at first cuz it's german...), but we're always down to try more.

In regards to living as a gay man in Ontario, socially there is not a lot of gay stuff going on, just a few bars (VIP, Oasis, Alibi, The Hookup), but there are still a LOT of gays out here. I do bowl in a gay bowling league (about 75 people, mostly older) and have lots of gay and straight friends. In terms of prejudice, I'm completely open at my job, i've never been gaybashed (physically or verbally) and feel completely comfortable when my partner and I go out to eat, shopping, movies, etc. Are there a higher proportion of bros/meatheads/skinheads/generally stupid people? Probably, but since I don't hang out in places that attract that crowd (every bar in the IE Weekly comes to mind...) i've not come across a situation where someone has had a problem with my sexuality. When I hang out with my str8 friends, it's usually at shows/dives bars/happy hours, some gay friendly/some not, but never felt like i was in danger or that i couldn't be myself. I guess i don't really know how to explain it. Wherever I go, i'm myself and I don't notice if other people like it or not.

This is all speaking as a gay man in my 30s (early 30's bitches!). I have friends in their 20s and most would say that they'd rather live in LA. Same guys drive there whenever possible (mostly for nightlife). If you end up going to school at UCR, while it's not known for being superliberal/gay, at least you'll be close to Coachella/GlassHouse/Fox and only an hour away from all the LA venues and 90 min away from all the SD venues. You have to think of this in terms of music, not proximity to gays, where are your priorities?

[JorgeC]

OK well im going to see *this guy* tonight. Im going in with no agenda and will just play it by ear. Cool?

how'd it go last night? was it the one that you met around xmas or the new one?

[Stickjohn]

OK well im going to see *this guy* tonight. Im going in with no agenda and will just play it by ear. Cool?

[weareyourfriends]

You have to think of this in terms of music, not proximity to gays, where are your priorities?

I suppose you're right - think of the music. Even Little Dragon has a show at the UCR "Barn" (whatever that is)! I've been to Pomona once and it seemed pretty cool. I liked their outdoor artwalk. You bring up some good points about proximity. I've never been to UCR but I'm going to check it out in a few weeks to get a feel for the campus. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised!

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

Yeah, I'm really worried that I won't get into Santa Cruz. I know it's incredibly progressive with its Women/Gender & Sexuality Studies program and is very gay friendly, but I really don't think I'll get in anymore.

My ideal school would be midsize (12-18k students) and would have a reputation for being liberal/gay-friendly. My first choice that I've been accepted to so far is SUNY Purchase which is about 30 minutes north of NYC. My problem with it is that it's super artsy/liberal, but it's only about 4,000 students. I can appreciate cool/weird art and music, but I'm afraid that the entire school will be gay cigarette smoking hipsters. I'd like to find a little diversity in the homos that I go to school with, so I was just wondering if Riverside (a school with 17,500 students) would be a decent option?

Universities tend to be generally liberal/progressive and if researchers are saying that the "10% of the population is gay-rule" is a conservative gestimate, I figured Riverside could be a decent option...

weareyourfriends, I have an old colleague who used to work at the LGBT Center at my alma mater and who is very well connected to LGBT orgs at other universities. I asked him if he had any contacts at UCR, UC Santa Cruz and SUNY Purchase who could give you genuine, honest feedback on the lgbt experience at each campus. I'll PM you when I hear back.

OK well im going to see *this guy* tonight. Im going in with no agenda and will just play it by ear. Cool?

Your dance card is getting full, young man. Sbessio is in demand. How'd it go??

[weareyourfriends]

weareyourfriends, I have an old colleague who used to work at the LGBT Center at my alma mater and who is very well connected to LGBT orgs at other universities. I asked him if he had any contacts at UCR, UC Santa Cruz and SUNY Purchase who could give you genuine, honest feedback on the lgbt experience at each campus. I'll PM you when I hear back.

Wow, thank you so much. It's a weird feeling right now not knowing where I'm going to school next year (East/West Coast - Nor/SoCal) and whether or not it'll be the right environment for me. I really appreciate the help!

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

My pleasure. Any other schools you want me to check into?

[weareyourfriends]

Not really. At this point it's SUNY Purchase or whatever I can get in the UC system. I was accepted to:
DePaul University (Chicago)
Western Washington University (Bellingham, WA)
Adelphi University (75% Female on Long Island = Snooki Central)
Cal Lutheran (Thousand Oaks, CA)

I really like DePaul even though it's religious, but I can't really afford the private school tuition. What is your alma matter, if you don't mind me asking?

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

Not really. At this point it's SUNY Purchase or whatever I can get in the UC system. I was accepted to:
DePaul University (Chicago)
Western Washington University (Bellingham, WA)
Adelphi University (75% Female on Long Island = Snooki Central)
Cal Lutheran (Thousand Oaks, CA)

Congrats! DePaul is supposedly a great school. Though, frankly, a university is what you make of it. Also, not being in debt into your 30s or 40s is a damn good thing.

I really like DePaul even though it's religious, but I can't really afford the private school tuition. What is your alma matter, if you don't mind me asking?

Not at all. San Diego State University. But... don't judge me.

[weareyourfriends]

Also, not being in debt into your 30s or 40s is a damn good thing.



Not at all. San Diego State University. But... don't judge me.

Thank you! Yeah, I'm trying to avoid student loans. I have an uncle who went to Oberlin and then Stanford for premed with a minor in Experimental Music. His student loans are still a major pain and he turned 40 this year.

Not judging at all! I actually applied to SDSU but I'll only find out their decision in March! It's actually a fantastic school - one of the most competitive CSU's with a 35% acceptance rate. Definitely something to be proud of!!

Also, it seems like they have a pretty solid LGBTQ program now with a lavender graduation and everything!

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

Oh I was only being silly. I'm very happy to have gone to SDSU. It has a bit of "fratbro" reputation; there's a fair amount of that there, but it actually has a very diverse student body and I got what some might find a surprisingly robust and challenging education there.

Yes, the LGBT community is well represented on campus.

Do you know what you want to major in yet?

[weareyourfriends]

Well most of the schools the I applied to, I got in as a Political Science major. However, if I do go to SUNY Purchase, I'll probably switch majors to their unique Arts Management program. It covers all kinds of fields from marketing, advertising, finance/economics, museum curating, and concert promoting, as well as tons of other areas. If I go to a UC, I'll major in Political Science.

I'm a little torn because I know that I want to be the future Paul Tollett, and I figure that going to Purchase will launch me in that direction a little faster than going to a UC. However, the UC system has become SO competitive and are among the most prestigious/top-rated public universities in the nation (even Santa Cruz & Riverside). I don't want to pass up such an incredible opportunity with the UCs... and I could always get an MBA latter on. It's tough to choose the how the rest of my life will go :s

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

You sound like a smart young man. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

[weareyourfriends]

Thank you!

[Pixiessp]

Missed this post. Don't know how I could possibly have flown by a gorgeous Polly Jean avatar. You are most certainly welcome here, lady! So... forgive the silly question, but which artist on the lineup do you think will be the biggest lesbian draw this year? I'm thinking Erykah Badu for the majority and Warpaint for the really cool indie lesbians with hair.

I suppose Warpaint. I saw them at the Troubadour in December but there weren't any cool indie lesbians in attendance that I could see.
Quite a few big scary dykey gals though. I have a hard time spotting less obvious lesbians. My gaydar broke down a while back.

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

I bet Robyn will get some lady lovin.

[sbessiso]

how'd it go last night? was it the one that you met around xmas or the new one?

same guy from my first post. I dunno, I think it went well. Still not sure what to make of it though.

[JorgeC]

same guy from my first post. I dunno, I think it went well. Still not sure what to make of it though.

did you guys "do" anything at this hangout session or....? If it ends up being just a booty call, go ahead and get yours. True love will hit when you least expect it.

[chiapet]

A sidenote on choosing schools... I would not let the prospect of taking student loans deter you unless you're planning on entering a career where your earning potential is very low. Not suggesting you should plan your future career around what makes the most money -- just saying if the salary you expect to make balances the larger student loans, go for it. The unemployed composer is going to be paying on their student loans forever, ... but there are plenty of careers where you'd make enough to pay off student loans without much financial hardship. I've been out of college for 12 years and have paid off most of my student loans. The one that's left doesn't have much financial impact on me. During the first couple of years after college, it was tough to come up with the payment each month, but it gets easier and is well worth it in the long run.

[NicoDread]

Well most of the schools the I applied to, I got in as a Political Science major. However, if I do go to SUNY Purchase, I'll probably switch majors to their unique Arts Management program. It covers all kinds of fields from marketing, advertising, finance/economics, museum curating, and concert promoting, as well as tons of other areas. If I go to a UC, I'll major in Political Science.

I'm a little torn because I know that I want to be the future Paul Tollett, and I figure that going to Purchase will launch me in that direction a little faster than going to a UC. However, the UC system has become SO competitive and are among the most prestigious/top-rated public universities in the nation (even Santa Cruz & Riverside). I don't want to pass up such an incredible opportunity with the UCs... and I could always get an MBA latter on. It's tough to choose the how the rest of my life will go :s

This is an article about a gay friend of mine who goes to UC Riverside, just to let you know a little about some of the attitudes.

[J~$$$$]

[JorgeC]

love that you know Bear411...

[J~$$$$]

I didnt but I do now.

[RageAgainstTheAoki]

I didnt but I do now.

Ditto.