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Thread: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

  1. #871
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Thanks Bev, I do get a ton of gratification from the time I spend with him. I wish I could home school him, I know he has enough social problems as it is but he's slipping through the cracks. I never evne saw his last report card last year. I'm not sure his mom did until the middle of July or something either. I don't get it. I don't hold him responsible for that, I hold the mom he lives with responsible. I only see him one night a week and in that 24 hour period I know I give him for love and attention than he gets the other 6 days combined. I'm by no means perfect, sometimes I let him watch TV for hours or zone out on his PSP but I am always aware and I always make a point to change things up. From Friday night to Saturday afternoon we have focus, a routine and nothing but quality time. He struggles with reading, he is getting pushed through school without learning basic things. I go nuts when I ask him simple questions and don't get a response because he doesn't know. So I talk to him and tell him the answer and now we go to the library once a month for books and we set aside one hour for reading every Saturday morning before he goes to flag football. His mom always used to rant to me that I ruined her quiet little boy with video games and Wrestling but while there is some truth to me turning him on to these things I never once saw her in the 4 years we were together take the time to do what i'm doing now that we aren't. It's so simple really. He's not even against it I thought he might be. He enjoys the books. All I do is come into the living room and ask him if he is ready to read. I tell him it is entirely up to him when he does it but we aren't going to get to Football if he doesn't do it. Another thing is you don't say read and then run off to the other room and ignore the kid. I grab a book (I rarely read but have started to show him it's not punishment to read and that even I need to do it order to feed the brain) and sit down on the other side of the couch and we both quietly read for a good 45-60 minutes. I also didn't want him to watch the clock so there is no time limit on it. It's been going so fantastic. We also go to the park and play football for about the same amount of time or until he gets tired or bored.

    His mom's new boyfriend most definitely spends more time with him than she does as well. We all get along really well but I know i'm very passive aggressive. Even though I appreciate how well we all get along and that I get to stay in Connor's life I have a lot of resentment and I don't do much in the area of confronting issues like that head on so on Saturday AM the three of us sit there together watching flag football. It's an odd situation indeed but one I created and a lot of my issues in the child situation come from resentment and lack of a spine. I failed at ever communicating my displeasure in the relationship and as far as setting terms upon our break up. I remember moving out and her flipping out about how I was going to continue to be there for Connor and I was so happy to be done with living there that I didn't even know how to say "hey, I don't know how this all works and it's shitty but I don't know that i'm prepared to still be in this kids life" I mean, how do you say that? Why am I the only person who didn't know how to question this entire thing? It's to the point now where i'm beyond greatful for the situation and I have come to understand the importance of the role I play in his life and I wouldn't trade it for the world but there is most definitely another part of me that I struggle with that makes me feel like the worst person in the entire world for ever even considering some alternative or not being in his life at all. That's huge. I look around and I don't have any peers who I know that do what I do. Nobody is in my situation. Not one of my friend has ever broken up with a girl after a long term relationship and continued to take care of a child that wasn't biologically theirs. So I stress about this situation. When we were together we used to talk about adoption quite a bit and I was in favor of it and she continued that chatter after we broke up but I would blow off the subject. I can live with the current situation but i'm not comfortable with tying myself legally in any way. I don't need her to decide in a year or two that she wants child support or help with this and that. She is not my responsibility. I pay for everything we do each and every weekend but I have no desire to contribute any further so I wonder what happens when this new guy leaves her and she is left for broke. None of these real seroious conversations are easy and mostly we discuss things via text because I admit I am afraid of her reactions to anything and everything. I hate that fear.

    Finally, a couple of months ago I told her that we need to sit down and explain to Connor all the questions he hasn't asked or really figured out yet. He's 11 and i'm not going to have this kid resent me later. He doesn't really understand he has a biological father he doesn't know. He doesn't grasp why all of our last names are different and he's been given generic answers by mom. He's confused about stuff. Is it my right to sit him down alone and tell him this stuff and how exactly do I go about it? Jesus this is heavy stuff. Mom seemed to be on board with this idea and we were going to do it over dinner at some point but again, him mom sucks at communication with her son, she sucks at quality time with him as well so I think i'll be waiting forever and I should just have this discussion with im myself. I don't know. It's getting late though and I think he needs to find out much sooner rather than later.

    Thank you all for your comments and suggestions and continuing to listen to me blather on about this stuff. This is all really personal, I just hope I don't regret posting all this in the future. Ha.

  2. #872
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Faxman, I'm sorry to hear that things are tough for you right now, but I'm glad that you're taking the first step by acknowledging that there's a real problem and talking about it. I hope you will take the next step today and start researching where you can go and see a professional about treatment options, as Tom suggested.

    I have been going through a rough patch myself recently, in part because my father (who has cancer) is not doing so well. But I saw a psychiatrist this morning, for the first time in years, so I'm working on getting through it all. I'm also making a point to go to yoga and kickboxing class more often, and forcing my friends into a standing weekly brunch date for gossip and venting, so I think that will help. I know from experience that an empty calendar is my own worst enemy.

  3. #873
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    I'm sorry to hear that Courtney. I do have benefits at work, I just never use them so I guess now is the time. I just need to assert myself now. Sounds like you have a good plan. Exercise can definitely be cathartic but I spend most of my time wondering why I can't get my ass moving. Things are are gonna change I can feel it. I have some goals too so it's just the plan of action to attain them. I feel better today just opening up about all of this. It's been rough rehashing it all but hopefully I can make my health and my situation better over the next several weeks and months. You seem to have a great plan of action. Friends, fun exercise and the shrink. That's seems like it covers everything and if you skip one on a day you hae the other two to keep you centered.

    It's odd because I am pretty social and I do get out and travel and hell, I went to LA about 4 times in 10 days back in September. I do plenty of stuff to enjoy life but right now it's a little rough.

    I also have wondered if I do all this travel and concert going in other states just to get away or run away from whatever problems are here at home. I don't know. I definitely overthink and over analyze stuff.

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    I think there's a distinct trend in this thread over the past two weeks we should take note of: fat people are sad. You should all attempt not being fat and see if it helps with the sad.

    Just kidding. Actually not really kidding that much as there is a definite connection, but if life hasn't motivated you to not be fat naturally it's unlikely that depression will. Fax, go see a therapist. Whenever I hear (or in this case, see) someone talking about how they have emotional problems but aren't comfortable talking about them my first thought is "then you're fucked and you're gonna stay fucked." A lot of the reason why psychological therapy is effective at all has nothing to do with the quality of the feedback you get from the doctor but just the simple fact that the more you talk about the things you otherwise keep bottled up, the better you feel and more comfortable you are with yourself.

    Sometimes we get depressed because life is genuinely shitty and it makes sense. Sometimes we get depressed without any evident reason why and it doesn't. In both circumstances, the simple act of vocalizing the bullshit we carry around inside us can free us from its power.

    This is the main reason that I'm the douchebag that has revealed every little detail of fucked-upness from my life on a music festival message board. And I rarely ever hesitate sharing any of the skeletons y'all know about me with people in real life either. Spent most of my adolescence pathologically lying about everything to cover whatever was bothering me up and it made it infinitely worse.

    If you can free yourself from shame, you can free yourself from practically everything.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  5. #875
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    *begins the slow clap*

  6. #876
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    free yourself from shame, isn't that the truth. i had panic attacks all through high school keeping everything in.

    i didn't read everything fax, but *hugs*
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Randy, very true and I understand completely, especially the stuff about fat. In fact the weight is a big part of the pscychology issue, after seeing a therapist or whatever I wouldn't be surprised if that helps clear the way for whatever sabotage I have created for it. I have always found you to be a decent a person and respect your opinion quite a but I think you know that. Thanks for the tips and of course good luck back east.

    Listening to the Artie Lange saga and brilliant Stern interviews like the one the other day with Tracy Morgan sure kills a good 4 hours a day and makes me smile quite a bit too.

    Funnily enough I downloaded an Anthonoy Robbins book a few months back and have listened to a bit over an hour so far and he is actually good at connecting some of the dots, makes you write down and make lists and one of the best things he said that stuck with me is that you have to be disturbed before you take action meaning if you aren't disturbed about your current weight, job or anything in life really, then you aren't going to change anything in life. Once you get disturbed that's when you ultimately take action. I'm on the brink.

    Also regarding the shrink, I think that would be his use as well. I know where a lot of stuff originates from but saying it out loud and realizing it and having the shrink lead to connect more dots is definitely something I understand. I don't expect to walk into the office and have the guy say here take this and you'll be better or for him to give me answers to all the questions I have about life. It's obviously shit I need to work though.

    Thanks Ivy. I don't expect you to read everything. I wrote way more than I expected to in the last couple of pages.

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    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    i didn't read everything either time faxy but you know youre my boy. even if youve psychologically raped me more than once.

  9. #879
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    I hope you get the help you need, faxy. You're a great guy. I'm not too good with words and Tom and Courtney pretty much said everything I would if I could just say it.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Given the problems you have described, I fully support seeking professional help. It seems you have a lot to sort through and the only solution for that sometimes is a new perspective from a more objective party. Just don't let them put you on drugs right away.

  11. #881
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSwan View Post
    Just don't let them put you on drugs right away.
    I have little interest in medication for these things so i'll definitely be skeptical of any early drug suggestions.
    Last edited by faxman75; 10-22-2009 at 03:50 PM.

  12. #882
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Reading some of the back story I suggest exercising, it automatically makes you feel better about yourself for doing it and you will sleep better from being physically tired.

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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    zzz's and D$, you know I love you guys

    Thanks.

  14. #884
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Trying not to be what, marooko?
    Depressed, anxious, that kind of thing.

  15. #885
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    Quote Originally Posted by faxman75 View Post
    zzz's and D$, you know I love you guys

    Thanks.
    I remember after NIN at Bonnaroo when I was wading through the sea of people and freaking out, I saw you and Tommy finally, and I knew I was safe.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  16. #886
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    That's weird because every time I see Amy I think to myself, "shit's about do go DOWN."

  17. #887
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    Quote Originally Posted by faxman75 View Post
    Randy, very true and I understand completely, especially the stuff about fat. In fact the weight is a big part of the pscychology issue, after seeing a therapist or whatever I wouldn't be surprised if that helps clear the way for whatever sabotage I have created for it. I have always found you to be a decent a person and respect your opinion quite a but I think you know that. Thanks for the tips and of course good luck back east.

    Listening to the Artie Lange saga and brilliant Stern interviews like the one the other day with Tracy Morgan sure kills a good 4 hours a day and makes me smile quite a bit too.

    Funnily enough I downloaded an Anthonoy Robbins book a few months back and have listened to a bit over an hour so far and he is actually good at connecting some of the dots, makes you write down and make lists and one of the best things he said that stuck with me is that you have to be disturbed before you take action meaning if you aren't disturbed about your current weight, job or anything in life really, then you aren't going to change anything in life. Once you get disturbed that's when you ultimately take action. I'm on the brink.

    Also regarding the shrink, I think that would be his use as well. I know where a lot of stuff originates from but saying it out loud and realizing it and having the shrink lead to connect more dots is definitely something I understand. I don't expect to walk into the office and have the guy say here take this and you'll be better or for him to give me answers to all the questions I have about life. It's obviously shit I need to work though.

    Thanks Ivy. I don't expect you to read everything. I wrote way more than I expected to in the last couple of pages.
    Tony Robbins actually isn't nearly as full of shit as he should be given what he is, but then again he doesn't really do much except give good advice in a convincing way. He basically just encourages people not to be lazy shitheads and understand that nothing will change in your life unless you do something to affect change. That was one thing I realized when I dropped the extra fifty pounds I was carrying in fifty days without growing an inch taller the summer I was 17--the only reason I was fat is I just didn't want to bother making the effort to not eat so much. This is summarized in my Rules To Living, in fact it's rule numero uno:

    Rule Number One: Don't fuck up your own shit.

    There's enough shit in the world working against us as it is. Life is a constant pain-in-the-ass negotiation with the rest of the world to get what you want while having to do as little shit you don't want as possible. The last thing we need given the six billion other assholes on the planet getting in our way is make trouble for ourselves in the process, but more often than not the problems that really fuck with people are ones they inflict on themselves.

    I don't know where I was going with this. In closing, I think your best course of action is to kill the retarded kid and extricate yourself from the whole situation. Then stop buying cupcakes. If you're still not okay after those steps, seek professional help.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I don't know where I was going with this. In closing, I think your best course of action is to kill the retarded kid and extricate yourself from the whole situation. Then stop buying cupcakes. If you're still not okay after those steps, seek professional help.
    ...kinda wanna sig this.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

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    There is no such thing as wanting but not doing. If you really wanted to, you would.

    I dare you.

    Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussy...
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  20. #890
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    Stop being a pussy should be the answer to all of life's problems. It has worked for me so far.

  21. #891

    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    that is a really good signature. i don't want to jack someone else's sig, though. titties.
    LOL! <33
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    Great advertising strategy for her vagina though! As if having a vagina weren't all a vagina needed. Now introducing the Lustful Scorned Lover scent, by RSW.

  22. #892
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I don't know where I was going with this. In closing, I think your best course of action is to kill the retarded kid and extricate yourself from the whole situation. Then stop buying cupcakes. If you're still not okay after those steps, seek professional help.
    I'm already plotting. That reminds me of another dozen issues

  23. #893
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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I think there's a distinct trend in this thread over the past two weeks we should take note of: fat people are sad. You should all attempt not being fat and see if it helps with the sad.

    Just kidding. Actually not really kidding that much as there is a definite connection, but if life hasn't motivated you to not be fat naturally it's unlikely that depression will. Fax, go see a therapist. Whenever I hear (or in this case, see) someone talking about how they have emotional problems but aren't comfortable talking about them my first thought is "then you're fucked and you're gonna stay fucked." A lot of the reason why psychological therapy is effective at all has nothing to do with the quality of the feedback you get from the doctor but just the simple fact that the more you talk about the things you otherwise keep bottled up, the better you feel and more comfortable you are with yourself.

    Sometimes we get depressed because life is genuinely shitty and it makes sense. Sometimes we get depressed without any evident reason why and it doesn't. In both circumstances, the simple act of vocalizing the bullshit we carry around inside us can free us from its power.

    This is the main reason that I'm the douchebag that has revealed every little detail of fucked-upness from my life on a music festival message board. And I rarely ever hesitate sharing any of the skeletons y'all know about me with people in real life either. Spent most of my adolescence pathologically lying about everything to cover whatever was bothering me up and it made it infinitely worse.

    If you can free yourself from shame, you can free yourself from practically everything.
    Okay, it's rare we ever see eye to eye, Randy, but I have to agree with most of this post as far as spilling the feelings out making a person feel better about themselves. My question now is, if after releasing all their skeletons and fucked-upness to feel better about their situation, why do some have a tendency to start in on someone elses fucked-upness, misfortune, or weaknesses?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  24. #894
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about all that faxman. You've gotten a lot of good advice so far so there's not much I can add to it. I can definitely relate about not feeling motivated to leave the house, shutting down and justifying it, over-analyzing. I think that's a large part of my problem too. I guess we just need to find ways to force ourselves to break through it. I think I might make a resolution to spend a minimum of two hours outside the house every day. Most days I only leave to get food or something like that, so something like that might help prevent the shutting down. Setting up small simple daily goals does help a lot. I've mentioned this before, but I didn't eat meat for a month simply to break bad eating habits and it helped a lot. I cooked for myself more, almost cut out fast food completely, ate some kind of fruit and vegetable every day. Finding ways to stick to a regiment is the difficult part. Some times just avoiding feeling like a total failure is motivation enough. Other times you might need to set up some kind of system of self-reward/denial-of-reward system, i.e.: if I stick with this for a month, I'll allow myself to go to this slightly expensive show I've been on the fence about. Shit like that. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

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    Right on Patrick, we'll be fine Starting small is always the way to go, a friend of mine from back home used to call it "back to basics". Just walking a bit and moving more and eating a bit less and changing things up to add fruits and veggies.

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    I have been really stressed lately, not so depressed, just a lot of anxiety. The small goals thing has helped me, kind of like the one foot in front of the other mentality. Today I finally get to move my shit to the new place, and even though I hate moving, it will be one step towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Just remembering that it will get better and has definately been worse is the only thing that gets me through the day at times.
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    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    I'm also making a point to go to kickboxing class more often
    don't cross Courtney. she'll fuck you up, man.

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    If you can free yourself from shame, you can free yourself from practically everything.
    This may be the wisest thing anyone has ever posted on this board ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  28. #898
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benis23 View Post
    ok, here are some of my reasons for being against anti-depressants

    studies have shown increased excercise is just as effective in treating depression as anti-depressents.

    studies have also shown that there is absolutely no difference in the neurotransmitter levels (seratonin, norepinephrine, etc.) between people who are clinically depressed and those who are not.
    I read that study... came out last year or so. The researchers were very clear that they do NOT recommend anyone stop taking their medications, especially those with severe depression. The study simply suggested that users weren't improved in a statistically significant manner vs. the placebo group. This study is also contradicted by several others, and more research is necessary.

    Do you have a link to it perchance? I can't seem to find it. You probably want to read it again.
    Quote Originally Posted by juloxx View Post
    Your stupid

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    Default Re: Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

    Quote Originally Posted by Benis23 View Post
    ok, here are some of my reasons for being against anti-depressants

    studies have shown increased excercise is just as effective in treating depression as anti-depressents.

    studies have also shown that there is absolutely no difference in the neurotransmitter levels (seratonin, norepinephrine, etc.) between people who are clinically depressed and those who are not. so, there is no kind of chemical imbalance with people who are depressed - the problem is that there is something going on in their lives that is making them unhappy. anti-depressents do not address this. there are many genetic liability genes, but those genes alone can't be the sole cause of depression - some environmental factors have to be involved.

    if you really want to increase the amount of seratonin in your brain, i would say that a better way of doing so would be to eat healthier foods. healthier foods generally leads to more seratonin in your brain. turkey, for instance, has an amino acid called tryptophan in it that is converted to seratonin.

    also, everyone knows about this already, but the unwanted side effects from anti-depressants can be very significant.
    9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!!!!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

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    I thought 9/11 is a joke?

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