Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental Health

[bballarl]

I think the best advice would be to not listen to Randy and listen to Alma instead.

[RotationSlimWang]

Step No. 1--Never, ever listen to women. ESPECIALLY if the subject matter is women.

[Stefinitely Maybe]

I forgot about this thread.

I feel like a lot of stuff in my life has really fallen into place for me over the past year / few months. As a result I stopped taking all of my medication a few months ago, and I feel f#cking great. I am a happy bastard. Proof that things do change and there is a light at the end of the tunnel etc etc.

[Yablonowitz]

Also, and I know this is something none of us like to admit, but you're going to get nothing but trouble out of treating women nice. They don't want it, and at the end of the day neither do we. So drop 100, cut the hair, and find out that you were probably out of that chick's league once you got your shit together.

I wag The Finger Of Wisdom at you. Heed it's direction.

Passive - he's 23 and clearly has personality issues that would make any relationship difficult for a woman (or a man, if he went that way). So, don't even look at that finger.

Dude - I've been married for 10 years. Happily married. We argue daily and sometimes piss the other off to the point where we just want to get away for ahwile. But those usually last no longer than a couple hours at the worst. It's been 10 good fucking years and the beginning of probably 40 more. 12 years ago, I was fairly positive I would be living my life alone...and was sure I was destined to either live with my mom or work some stupid minimum wage job and be a nervous recluse who could never have a relationship. Shit changes...you don't even have the faintest idea how or when, but they will.

I don't have any advice for you exactly...just realize that what your going through now will pass. If it persists and starts to feel crippling, go talk to someone you trust and who knows you. And, because everyone is so fucking different, your experience with this girl is in no way foreshadowing your experiences with other women.

Don't cut the hair, either. You think Tom Waits didn't get women?

[Yablonowitz]

I forgot about this thread.

I feel like a lot of stuff in my life has really fallen into place for me over the past year / few months. As a result I stopped taking all of my medication a few months ago, and I feel f#cking great. I am a happy bastard. Proof that things do change and there is a light at the end of the tunnel etc etc.

Cool. Glad to hear it.

Since this thread started, I've gone through some intense stuff but have been feeling really even-keeled for the past five weeks or so. I hope it continues.

[psychic friend]

UP down UP down

ding dong

sigh...............

[lindseyb]

Lindsey - personally...and I don't know shit, seriously... I'd try to get the conversation going to a point where she admits and recognizes behavior that isn't healthy for her and then you sort of mildly suggest it...or ask questions along the symptom list. And if she says "yes" to most of them, you could point her to something that describes it in very clinical and passionless language.

But I hate giving advice because I would never be able to carry out what I suggest myself.

thanks yablo, that sounds like a good approach. but true, easier said than done.

[J~$$$]

Stop thinking about the next girl. There is nothing more annoying than a guy who tells you he's got himself all figured out and is now Mr. Perfect because of what he learned. No man is perfect. Don't worry about being perfect. Perfect is frightening, anyway. If you get into another relationship and find out you have trust issues, deal with them then. In the meantime, practice enjoying daily life again.

woah....woah.

[lindseyb]

I just wanted to mention that forgetfulness is a sign of depression. What characteristics does she have that gives you this impression?

I had a self-diagnosed case of ADD at work. I could never remember what people were asking me to do. I tried 30 post its on my desk at a time, then I had a Franklin planner that took 2 hours of my day just keeping it updated. I finally found that Microsoft Outlook does the thinking for me. I say this because you may want to look at her issue the same way. Try to unravel what's going on. Take a step back and see when she was OK then see what changes have been going on in her life that may have attributed to her current state.

she's beyond forgetful, she doesn't listen. however she was on medication for depression for a time. i think her problem goes beyond depression though. here are some of the symptoms she displays that are signs of ADD:

-not remembering being told something
-"zoning out" in conversations
-being late or forgetting to show up when expected
-speaking without thinking
-pressured rapid-fire speech, seemingly random, and aimless hopping from one topic to the next
-perceived as aloof and arrogant, or tiresomely talkative and boorish
-compulsive joking, often about personal life history and feelings
-easily frustrated or bored
-leaving a mess
-procrastination (difficulty starting tasks)
-incompletions (starting tasks, household projects, or book reading, but not completing them before new projects or new books are begun, leaving a never-ending to-do list),
-insecurity and self-esteem issues because of unmet high personal expectations
-irritability
-quick anger
-inadequate censorship of rude or insulting thoughts, and poor timing in interactions

i've been trying to unravel whats going on for a long time. its hard to remember a time when she was ok. she had eating disorders when she was in her teens and after she stopped that, she turned into an alcoholic. i don't think she dealt with her grief very well when our mom died; she drank instead. its hard to see your only sister make a mess of her life and abuse herself and turn into a monster of a person. but anyway i've been trying to figure it out for years, so maybe i'm just hoping that a diagnosis of some kind will explain everything!

[J~$$$]

OMG I HAVE ADDDD!!!!! seriously I think I have ADD

[TomAz]

she's beyond forgetful, she doesn't listen. however she was on medication for depression for a time. i think her problem goes beyond depression though. here are some of the symptoms she displays that are signs of ADD:

-not remembering being told something
-"zoning out" in conversations
-being late or forgetting to show up when expected
-speaking without thinking
-pressured rapid-fire speech, seemingly random, and aimless hopping from one topic to the next
-perceived as aloof and arrogant, or tiresomely talkative and boorish
-compulsive joking, often about personal life history and feelings
-easily frustrated or bored
-leaving a mess
-procrastination (difficulty starting tasks)
-incompletions (starting tasks, household projects, or book reading, but not completing them before new projects or new books are begun, leaving a never-ending to-do list),
-insecurity and self-esteem issues because of unmet high personal expectations
-irritability
-quick anger
-inadequate censorship of rude or insulting thoughts, and poor timing in interactions

i've been trying to unravel whats going on for a long time. its hard to remember a time when she was ok. she had eating disorders when she was in her teens and after she stopped that, she turned into an alcoholic. i don't think she dealt with her grief very well when our mom died; she drank instead. its hard to see your only sister make a mess of her life and abuse herself and turn into a monster of a person. but anyway i've been trying to figure it out for years, so maybe i'm just hoping that a diagnosis of some kind will explain everything!

maybe she's just stupid, graceless, and stressed out.

[J~$$$]

What about helping her get organized. Not trying to interfere with anything she has going on. Once sticking to a routine life becomes organized and efficient. Focused routines. A lot of people see ADD as something that needs to be treated with medication and that is not always the case

[lindseyb]

absolutely not. she's the type of person that takes takes takes from everyone and will use anyone for as much as she can get from them and not feel bad about it (AND openly admit to it!). so to volunteer to help her get organized would mean i would end up doing her shit for her. i think she needs to learn how to grow up and take care of herself, not have others do it for her.

[jackstraw94086]

brain tumor.

fer realz, yo

[J~$$$]

Then stop worrying about her. I understand you love her but all you can do now is point and laugh and be all "I told you so!" when she falls down.

Just tell her you honest opinion sometimes people need to know exactly how you feel. If she cannot respect you and what you see from an outside perspective then she does not deserve your respect and constant worry/love.

[lindseyb]

totally. i'm sick of worrying about her. it stresses me out and she's beyond mine or anyone's control.

[downingthief]

I forgot about this thread.

I feel like a lot of stuff in my life has really fallen into place for me over the past year / few months. As a result I stopped taking all of my medication a few months ago, and I feel f#cking great. I am a happy bastard. Proof that things do change and there is a light at the end of the tunnel etc etc.

That's fantastic, Stef. Glad to hear it!

[jackstraw94086]

The best thing a person can do is hit rock bottom. Just ask Nietzsche.

[downingthief]

Don't cut the hair, either. You think Tom Waits didn't get women?

Hell, yeah...women love the long locks. Well, at least when they are single. For some reason, when they get attached...they like the guy to cut it. At least, that was my experience. But hey, if it gets you the girl you want, its' worth it.

[miscorrections]

so not true, i was a little disappointed when my last man clipped his shaggy hair.

[amyzzz]

I was mad when my husband cut his hair last summer, but he was working outside (and inside) in horrendously hot conditions, so he pretty much had to cut it.

Also, I have days (like Monday) when I'm extremely depressed for no specific reason, but when I take 5-htp at night, the next day I'm much better. (I haven't taken Ecstasy in weeks, so e-depression had nothing to do with it)

[RotationSlimWang]

... have you guys SEEN his fucking head?

Srsly.

Srsly.

[full on idle]

You're repulsive.

[RotationSlimWang]

You should've seen me when I was fat and had a stupid fucking haircut.

I'm trying to help the boy, people.

[bug on your lip]

You should've seen me when I was fat and had a stupid fucking haircut.

I'm trying to help the boy, people.

you dropped the fat & the haircut
now yer just fucking stupid

[RotationSlimWang]

I'll accept that if you wish, but funnily enough being stupid doesn't hurt you all that much in life. Looking stupid, however...

[J~$$$]

Being stupid and looking stupid go hand in hand, so you are in good company Randy.

[RotationSlimWang]

I refute both the general principle of your statement as well as how it's phrased: I'm in good company? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Did you really just respond to me drawing a distinction between the advantages of being stupid vs. looking stupid by basically saying, "Well, if you are stupid you probably look stupid?"

Tell me, J, when's the last time you had a haircut? =)

Love ya, bitches.

[Yablonowitz]

Randy's on a bender.

[RotationSlimWang]

Actually I've been frighteningly sober recently. Ran out of my Valium and Ambien on the 6th, the same day that I got a heap of bad news that has proven difficult to sift through. Got back into LA on the 8th, consumed an ounce of GHB a day until Sunday when that well ran dry too. I'm now waiting on a package of Oxycontin and Xanax to be delivered to me so that my soul and brain will shut the fuck up. In the meantime, the board will have to endure me, kthxbye.