In Which We Rant About Losing/Looking For Work

[Wheres the beef?]

I know there is a "related" thread but I'm starting my own.

I have been writing this fucking cover letter for 2 days now. Fuck this. Obviously there are more job seekers than there are jobs so I know my cover letter/resume is just a drop in the bucket. I feel like I have to write the perfect cover letter. And, I've got writers block trying tell these guys one more specific example from my previous job that would show them I would be a good hire for this current position. Geez. If I can't give them two good examples why I should be hired, what's the point? Pathetic.
Part of me wants to just write a quick email, "Hey I'm a badass employee and you would be lucky to have me working at your company. You have a job that needs doing and I'm here to get it done for you. Let's get to work."

That is all for now.

[bug on your lip]

"badass" in bold block letters

that's all you need on the cover page

[paganman7]

Sucks homie.

My company is relocating to Seattle at the end of this year, and I'll likely not be going, so I'll be in your boat in a handful of months.

[chairmenmeow47]

sorry to hear about your frustrations.

as someone who looks at resumes & does a little hiring, just make it as easy as possible to read and don't make it your life story. a lot of us look at hundreds of these and are just looking for a reason to put you in the no pile. and always remember that comments like "managed a sales team of 10 employees with a monthly budget of $20,000" or something is a whole lot more clear than "managed people".

AND FOR FUCKS SAKE SPELL CHECK THAT BITCH LIKE 80 TIMES. if you can't spell your own job title, into the trash you go.

good luck!

[Wheres the beef?]

sorry to hear about your frustrations.

as someone who looks at resumes & does a little hiring, just make it as easy as possible to read and don't make it your life story. a lot of us look at hundreds of these and are just looking for a reason to put you in the no pile. and always remember that comments like "managed a sales team of 10 employees with a monthly budget of $20,000" or something is a whole lot more clear than "managed people".

AND FOR FUCKS SAKE SPELL CHECK THAT BITCH LIKE 80 TIMES. if you can't spell your own job title, into the trash you go.

good luck!

Thanks Ivy! This is what I ended up sending:

Dear Hiring Manager,

I'll be honest with you. I am getting tired of writing these boilerplate coverletters. So, I'm just going to say this: I'm an awesome employee, highly intelligent, hard working, and very personable. I think outside-the-box and thrive in an environment where I can create new tools and ideas to help my project. Here is good example of what I was working on in my last position:

1. Organization/Coordination: As a project engineer with Balfour Beatty, one of my most challenging tasks was coordinating the cabinets and countertops for our 250 condos. It was difficult because the owner and architect wanted two different things, the cabinets were prefabricated in Germany, the cabinet maker had no liability for the accuracy of their dimensions, and the countertop provider was also sending prefabricated countertops with no liability for accuracy. I successfully coordinated the cabinets and countertops to 1/4" for all 250 units by creating binders with architectural, cabinet, and countertop floor plans, and field measurements. It was exceptionally difficult because all layouts and dimensions had to be done mathematically because walls were not finished.

I have a natural intuition with computers and can learn any software in days (I can do Visual Basic programming in Excel). And, although I am not local right now, I would not hesitate to leave immediately for and relocate at my own expense if hired. I look forward to talking with you soon.

[bug on your lip]

tosser

[locachica73]

Good luck!!! I am starting my search on Monday as well. My two weeks of pathetic laziness is damn near over.

[Wheres the beef?]

tosser

probably

[Wheres the beef?]

Good luck!!! I am starting my search on Monday as well. My two weeks of pathetic laziness is damn near over.

Audra if you find a job before I will be so mad.

[justinaqui]

For what its worth (read: nothing), I think that letter is damn good.

[bug on your lip]

hire him to be your butler

[locachica73]

Audra if you find a job before I will be so mad.

what if I take a job totally out of my field and for half the money? I am thinking I want to tend bar for awhile. I don't know that I want to bury myself at a desk again for another 14 years.

I have been waiting and waiting for my severance check and haven't gotten it. I just called HR and they apparently aren't going to start paying it till the 15th. I just spent the last of my money on groceries and now can't pay my rent. Can I come live in your basement?

[Wheres the beef?]

what if I take a job totally out of my field and for half the money? I am thinking I want to tend bar for awhile. I don't know that I want to bury myself at a desk again for another 14 years.

I have been waiting and waiting for my severance check and haven't gotten it. I just called HR and they apparently aren't going to start paying it till the 15th. I just spent the last of my money on groceries and now can't pay my rent. Can I come live in your basement?

You can come live at my parents house. We have an extra room. But if my sister comes home you're gonna have to move to the couch or air mattress.

[chairmenmeow47]

it's not bad, i like that you provide some specifics. but what types of jobs are you applying for? unless you are applying for very specific jobs within that field, that paragraph should be more what you specifically did to improve your company or save them money, but without using too much technical jargon. for example (and i'm sorry if this is incorrect, but that just shows i didn't really understand what you wrote):

as a project engineer, i was respondible for the installation of cabinets & countertops for 250 condos within X amount of time and below budget by X dollars (or something similar that mentions the kind of money you were respondible for). i coordinated with suppliers via e-mail and telephone in multiple countries to get the supplies we need and also ensured that all products would work together correctly by creating formulas and drawing the layouts myself. the project was supposed to take 10 months, but i was able to complete the project in 8 months by doing X, Y, Z.

in that example, anyone could get a general understanding of what you do, without having to have a background in cabinetry or construction. it also would show that you have dabbled in international business, completed documents accurately and possibly saved the company time/money for whatever reason. and if you were applying for a general manager position or something, it would show that you can be trusted with X amount of dollars. if you are applying for jobs in a specific field, i'd have to assume what you wrote would make more sense.

also, it's good to mention your ability to use software, but it's better to list your specific programs on the resume and then work in maybe one or two specific programs you have GREAT experience with into your cover letter. for example:

i coordinated with suppliers via e-mail and telephone in multiple countries to get the supplies we need and also ensured that all products would work together correctly by creating formulas and drawing the layouts myself using version X of SPECIFIC BRAND OF SOFTWARE.

that shows you actually have done something rather than you think you might be able to do something. phrases like "thinking out of the box", "quick learner", etc. are all fairly useless without an actual example. they're just corporate buzzwords in a way. i tend to look for things like "created databases to manage inventory in MS Access 2003" over "quick learner". it's just more tangible.

lastly, the opening is a bit argumentative for a cover letter; however i'm sure some people would actually appreciate the honesty. every hiring manager is different, but i'd rather see someone who's absolutely excited at the possibility of getting hired by me than feel like just another company on the list of places they are applying.

since your resume has probably has an out-of-city address, it's good to mention that you'd relocate. i might also just add something a bit more concrete (even if it's bullshit) such as: i will be in the area on these dates or i have the ability to temporarily reside in X until i get settled in my new position.

again, best of luck and i hope you don't take anything i said the wrong way, it's just that i read a lot of these and like to help when i can

[paganman7]

Ivy, aren't those specifics meant to be in the resume/application?

[chairmenmeow47]

mostly, but you still need to work them into a cover letter in a way that expands more on specific, real life examples like the cabinet examples.

[paganman7]

I may be hitting you up for some advice at the end of the year.

[Young blood]

Get off the drugs.

[bug on your lip]

Advice Boobs

[paganman7]

Get off the drugs.

You think that'll help?

[bobert]

Be sure and mention that you've posted on this board over 7000 times. Trust me, they want to know about your hobbies.

[locachica73]

I have always found that the resume is just a brief look into your work history, education and skill levels. The cover letter has been used to show them your personality and salary expectations. But it has been 10 years since I have had to do either. I have my resume as updated as possible but haven't done my cover letter yet.

[Wheres the beef?]

it's not bad, i like that you provide some specifics. but what types of jobs are you applying for? unless you are applying for very specific jobs within that field, that paragraph should be more what you specifically did to improve your company or save them money, but without using too much technical jargon. for example (and i'm sorry if this is incorrect, but that just shows i didn't really understand what you wrote):



in that example, anyone could get a general understanding of what you do, without having to have a background in cabinetry or construction. it also would show that you have dabbled in international business, completed documents accurately and possibly saved the company time/money for whatever reason. and if you were applying for a general manager position or something, it would show that you can be trusted with X amount of dollars. if you are applying for jobs in a specific field, i'd have to assume what you wrote would make more sense.

Yeah I am applying to a very specific position so the person reading my resume will understand what I am talking about. When I am applying to a job outside my "industry" then I make it more generic like you said.

also, it's good to mention your ability to use software, but it's better to list your specific programs on the resume and then work in maybe one or two specific programs you have GREAT experience with into your cover letter. for example:



that shows you actually have done something rather than you think you might be able to do something. phrases like "thinking out of the box", "quick learner", etc. are all fairly useless without an actual example. they're just corporate buzzwords in a way. i tend to look for things like "created databases to manage inventory in MS Access 2003" over "quick learner". it's just more tangible.

I totally know what you mean about the buzzword thing. A very good point indeed. But I really am a "quick learner" and "outside the box thinker" I swear! lol

lastly, the opening is a bit argumentative for a cover letter; however i'm sure some people would actually appreciate the honesty. every hiring manager is different, but i'd rather see someone who's absolutely excited at the possibility of getting hired by me than feel like just another company on the list of places they are applying.

I totally understand what you mean. Usually my openers are very positive and I am excited. I've never sent a cover letter with that opening before.

since your resume has probably has an out-of-city address, it's good to mention that you'd relocate. i might also just add something a bit more concrete (even if it's bullshit) such as: i will be in the area on these dates or i have the ability to temporarily reside in X until i get settled in my new position.

I've actually taken my address of my resume for that reason. I don't want it thrown out for being out of town or whatever. Do you think that is a good idea or bad idea?

again, best of luck and i hope you don't take anything i said the wrong way, it's just that i read a lot of these and like to help when i can

No. Thank you so much for your help and input. I'm already glad I started this thread. Help more please when you get the time!

[bug on your lip]

we should have a contest where we pick a company and then we all send ridiculous resumes.. and see who gets a job offer 1st

[chairmenmeow47]

i don't think the address is a big deal as long as you have a telephone & email in there. they still may question you about it, but you can always give some BS answer that will help you get the job.

and there is such a fine line between sucking up and being honest, lol. best of luck!

and i want advice boobs as my member title, though it should probably be "advice rack"

[locachica73]

You can come live at my parents house. We have an extra room. But if my sister comes home you're gonna have to move to the couch or air mattress.

That is a shit load better then moving into my mothers trailer.

[Young blood]

we should have a contest where we pick a company and then we all send ridiculous resumes.. and see who gets a job offer 1st

Walmart.

[bug on your lip]

Spin

[Johnathan Goldsmith]

I don't look for work, work finds me...stay thirsty my friends.


Oh, Dos Equis is still friendly to the wallets of the unfortunate...

XX

[bug on your lip]

*giggle*