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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #1351
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    omg it's cunt day.

    i sent out a meeting planner MONTHS AGO with a meeting agenda and attendees. you can't just decide on the day of the meeting that you do not like this approach. if you wanted to plan for that meeting, maybe you should have PLANNED FOR THAT MEETING WHEN I FUCKING EMAILED YOU ABOUT IT AND THEN SENT YOU A PLANNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is not new information. read your fucking emails you god damned twat and don't send me some getbetter (sorry) shit from your iphone that i can't decipher and then call me as though there's some misunderstanding. i will do whatever you want if you fucking put words into coherent sentences. it's going to be a long year and a half.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  2. #1352
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I spent 3 days meeting with individual business partners on prioritizing the backlog of system enhancements (making sure all documentation was up to date, ROI was included, request was in the right "status" on the system). Then got all those same people in a room to review what items would make the cut to send over to IT for the next release (mind you, this shit isn't even installing til October).

    Right after I send the listing over, IT management says we're scrapping our development methodology and going with a new one next fiscal year. April/May/June will be spent training everyone. ummmm.....
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    9/18 Fatboy Slim@Shrine - 9/19 Poolside@Skyway Pomona - 9/22 Interpol@Fox Pomona - 9/23 La Roux@Fonda - 9/25 Simian Mobile Disco@El Rey - 9/26 Die Antwoord@Observatory - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House - 10/12,19,26 IAMX@Complex - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Superhumanoids@Palladium - 10/27 Tycho@Glass House - 10/31 Yelle@Fonda

  3. #1353
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    One of the supers just called needing Brett (my roommate & coworker), Brett left to the bar to watch basketball and I am fully trained to do what he does. When I told him Brett had left he asked for the owner, who also isn't here. So the guy got all pissed, I asked if there was something I could help him with and his response was... I doubt it, I am sure you don't know how to print or look at plans. Nope, I sure don't know how to do that. My vagina totally gets in the way of being able to do those types of things. FUCK OFF DUDE!

  4. #1354
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JorgeC View Post
    I spent 3 days meeting with individual business partners on prioritizing the backlog of system enhancements (making sure all documentation was up to date, ROI was included, request was in the right "status" on the system). Then got all those same people in a room to review what items would make the cut to send over to IT for the next release (mind you, this shit isn't even installing til October).

    Right after I send the listing over, IT management says we're scrapping our development methodology and going with a new one next fiscal year. April/May/June will be spent training everyone. ummmm.....
    oh man, what now, agile 2.0? THE BACKLOG NEVER DIES

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    One of the supers just called needing Brett (my roommate & coworker), Brett left to the bar to watch basketball and I am fully trained to do what he does. When I told him Brett had left he asked for the owner, who also isn't here. So the guy got all pissed, I asked if there was something I could help him with and his response was... I doubt it, I am sure you don't know how to print or look at plans. Nope, I sure don't know how to do that. My vagina totally gets in the way of being able to do those types of things. FUCK OFF DUDE!
    i got that shit all the time at radioshack. fuck that guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  5. #1355
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    oh man, what now, agile 2.0? THE BACKLOG NEVER DIES
    yeah, Agile/Scrum. they keep talking about "dedicated resources". Really? unless they start hiring more people (which they aren't) they are just talking out of their asses.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    9/18 Fatboy Slim@Shrine - 9/19 Poolside@Skyway Pomona - 9/22 Interpol@Fox Pomona - 9/23 La Roux@Fonda - 9/25 Simian Mobile Disco@El Rey - 9/26 Die Antwoord@Observatory - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House - 10/12,19,26 IAMX@Complex - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Superhumanoids@Palladium - 10/27 Tycho@Glass House - 10/31 Yelle@Fonda

  6. #1356
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    The same person is holding up payroll again. It's really not that hard to send me a timesheet. You had an Outlook calendar reminder on Friday saying it's due Friday by 5:00pm, and 2 reminder emails this morning.

    I'm about to close this shizzle out. She's not going to be happy that we're going to have to cut her a manual check and it won't be direct deposited. Oh, well.

  7. #1357
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Ha! Thank you for the reminder.

  8. #1358
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Of course she called me right when I was one step away from submitting the reports. Ugh. Now I need to go back a few steps to get her times in.

  9. #1359
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Why do you let her continue to do it? If she gets fucked over once she probably won't do it again. Let her learn the lesson the hard way.

  10. #1360
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Apparently, I enjoy being walked all over.

  11. #1361
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Teach that bitch a lesson.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  12. #1362

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    So my Supervisor informs me that I have too much comp time. I have around 150 hours, and the max you can have before the new fiscal year is 240. I asked her if I could look into using some of it in May, and she was like, "yeah, the sooner the better."

    ....what she doesn't know is that I plan to leave this job in the summer, and I want to build up my payout. Greedy? Yes.
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)

  13. #1363
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I don't think you can just not pay someone if you know they worked. I think it's a law that you have to at least guess how many hours they worked and cut them a check for that. Like if she works a standard 40+ you have to at least pay her for the 40. At least that is the impression I have always gotten. I have cut someone a 40 hour check and made him wait for his overtime, but all it really did was created more work for me the following week.

  14. #1364
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    No, I meant she should cut her a check instead of direct deposit.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  15. #1365
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Or just cut her.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    9/18 Fatboy Slim@Shrine - 9/19 Poolside@Skyway Pomona - 9/22 Interpol@Fox Pomona - 9/23 La Roux@Fonda - 9/25 Simian Mobile Disco@El Rey - 9/26 Die Antwoord@Observatory - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House - 10/12,19,26 IAMX@Complex - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Superhumanoids@Palladium - 10/27 Tycho@Glass House - 10/31 Yelle@Fonda

  16. #1366
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I don't think you can just not pay someone if you know they worked. I think it's a law that you have to at least guess how many hours they worked and cut them a check for that. Like if she works a standard 40+ you have to at least pay her for the 40. At least that is the impression I have always gotten. I have cut someone a 40 hour check and made him wait for his overtime, but all it really did was created more work for me the following week.
    Yes, by law, a payment must be made if hours are worked. The manual check would have been made AFTER I closed payroll, but BEFORE the actual pay date, so I am within my legal limits.

  17. #1367
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Yeah, but I get why you don't want to do that, I hated cutting manual checks. Then I just had to touch the same piece of paper more than once. I found the best way to get their attention is if I copied their supervisor on the reminder emails. At first it made me feel like a tattle tale (like I was in grade school again) but seriously, it's not that fucking hard to turn in a timesheet. Or like Jorge said, cut the bitch.

  18. #1368
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I rather cut one manual check than not have everyone else's direct deposits not go through because one person held up payroll for too long.

    I'll be sending out a nice mass email to all hourly employees about the importance of handing in their paperwork in a timely fashion, and the consequences that may occur if they are late in sending them to me.

  19. #1369
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    didn't you already do that before? IMHO, address it with the person that is the problem. Being on the receiving end of the nice "mass email" is annoying to people that actually follow the rules.

    Different situation, but my team gets emails reminding us to close out our workorders because items shouldn't be open for more than 2 weeks. 1 person (out of 9) has 80%-90% of the aged items. This has been going on for a year.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    9/18 Fatboy Slim@Shrine - 9/19 Poolside@Skyway Pomona - 9/22 Interpol@Fox Pomona - 9/23 La Roux@Fonda - 9/25 Simian Mobile Disco@El Rey - 9/26 Die Antwoord@Observatory - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House - 10/12,19,26 IAMX@Complex - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Superhumanoids@Palladium - 10/27 Tycho@Glass House - 10/31 Yelle@Fonda

  20. #1370
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    please let me stop working on a massive deliverable of a project plan for tomorrow so that i can take the time to create a few slides explaining what i have been working on the past few months, by referencing the fucking project plan you busy work douchebag.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  21. #1371

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my coworker; all this week she's been a fucking bitch to me, and others. Even today, she's ignoring us when we call her name, AND WE ARE IN THE NEXT ROOM! She can hear. I'm just gonna ignore her fat ass today, and let her be angry all she wants.
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)

  22. #1372
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Lol @ employees that try to lie to me. This employee is trying to tell me that he has 6 extra vacation days that I do not have on the books, when in fact, he's in the negative (this is the second time I told him that he has a negative balance). I told him that if his supervisor approves his time off request, then it would be unpaid time. Now he's trying to give me attitude. Not my fault you already used up all your PTO and Vacation time by March!

  23. #1373
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I love that the construction industry is picking up again, it's a good sign for damn near everyone I know. I just wish companies would stop finding my resume and then try to lure me away. I have had too many jobs in the last few months, I want to settle somewhere. So I told the recruiter that I am pretty happy where I am, that to be persuaded to leave they would have to be close to where I live and pay more than what I make now. The answer is yes to both, so now I have a phone interview after work.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  24. #1374
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I love that the construction industry is picking up again, it's a good sign for damn near everyone I know. I just wish companies would stop finding my resume and then try to lure me away. I have had too many jobs in the last few months, I want to settle somewhere. So I told the recruiter that I am pretty happy where I am, that to be persuaded to leave they would have to be close to where I live and pay more than what I make now. The answer is yes to both, so now I have a phone interview after work.
    Yeah you want to be careful with job hopping, so you don't appear unreliable on paper/your resume. But even still, never a bad idea to investigate a seemingly good opportunity.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  25. #1375

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Boy it seems like some people have had some not-so-fun days at work lately. I'm sorry to read that. Hopefully this picture helps to brighten some days. This is what happens when you call in to work sick on April Fools day. Not the best plastic wrap job, but it did the trick! My other coworker got the post its just for sitting next to him .

    .:07, 08, 09, 10, 11, 12.1, 13.1:.

  26. #1376
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I can't tell if I am hating my job more because I know I will be at Coachella next week, or if it's because I am just hating my job.
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  27. #1377
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I forgot to call the lady I was suppose to interview with. Ugh. Oh well, I didnt want to change jobs again anyway. My job can get boring, and listening to dogs bark all day is annoying, but other than that its pretty good. I am even allowed to take naps if I need to.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  28. #1378
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Loca, How do I apply?
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  29. #1379
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Haha, I kind of lucked out. My roommates father own the company, I got the interview by being drunk/stoned with his son, we were both bitching about our jobs and he decided it would be a good idea for me to his partner in concrete crime.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  30. #1380
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    you're a goddamn project manager, lady. a PROJECT MANAGER. which means you should understand how to read and update a project plan. i shouldn't have to check line-by-line for updates or ask you repeatedly for the same updates. ARGH, and some of your date updates to predecessor issues JUST MAKE THE ISSUE WORSE. jesus christ. this lady is such a cunt in meetings too. how she got her job, i'll never know.
    Last edited by chairmenmeow47; 04-16-2013 at 07:48 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

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