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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #1291

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    buying a dozen gourmet cupcakes to take to a new client, having lunch with a referral partner nicknamed "Mouth2" for his incessant carrying on (only put up with cus I get leads from him. And, yes, there is a Mouth1. A woman.), and doing some door-to-door marketing in Irvine.

  2. #1292
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    So at our office holiday lunch party we were each allotted $55 that we could spend on our meal/beverages and we were just casually talking about if we all liked the restaurant that we went to this last December.

    Me: "I remember enjoying it, but I don't remember what I ate."
    Office mate: "I don't think you ate anything."
    Other office mate: "No, she ate some bread."
    Other other office mate: "She didn't want to, though. Said it didn't go with the gin."

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  3. #1293
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I got drunk with my roommate last night and since he is also kind of my boss he gave me the ok to be late and hungover today. This morning he stopped at the store and bought milk so he could make us iced coffee with the espresso maker we have in the office. This is the best job ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  4. #1294
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I got drunk with my roommate last night and since he is also kind of my boss he gave me the ok to be late and hungover today. This morning he stopped at the store and bought milk so he could make us iced coffee with the espresso maker we have in the office. This is the best job ever.
    You have just discovered work utopia. Congratulations.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  5. #1295
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    It's about time!
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  6. #1296
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by lehorne View Post
    buying a dozen gourmet cupcakes to take to a new client, having lunch with a referral partner nicknamed "Mouth2" for his incessant carrying on (only put up with cus I get leads from him. And, yes, there is a Mouth1. A woman.), and doing some door-to-door marketing in Irvine.
    Watch out for that crazy ex-cop.

  7. #1297
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Update on the MIA slacker. We've decided to just fire his ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  8. #1298
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My new company paid me for all of last week even though I didn't start work until Wednesday. Do I bring that up or just buy myself something pretty?
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  9. #1299
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I'd mention it.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  10. #1300
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    My new company paid me for all of last week even though I didn't start work until Wednesday. Do I bring that up or just buy myself something pretty?
    Bring it up before spending it, especially if it's a new job. It always irked me when employees wouldn't mention an error in overpayment, and then they would get mad whenever I told them that I would deduct it from their next pay.

  11. #1301
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My jury duty payment was never deducted from my check. I brought it up twice.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  12. #1302

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    Watch out for that crazy ex-cop.
    that's the first thing Mouth2 brought up at lunch. Also gave him Mouth1's contact info, as they are both in the same medical consulting field. Predict that, if they meet, they'll either end up killing each other or fall in love.

  13. #1303
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    No, watch out for ALL the cops in that area. You driving a pickup, stay home!
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  14. #1304
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i inherited a shitty word document. how the fuck do you remove footnotes? i keep trying to delete them and am told by Microsoft Word 2010 that the action is not allowed. i have this stupid blank page at the end. GOD I HATE THE PERSON THAT GAVE THIS TO ME. i have no idea how she became a PM. so disorganized and her documentation makes no sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  15. #1305

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I just started as a receptionist at a law office. I'm pretty sure everyone I work with are swingers...primarily with eachother.

  16. #1306

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    well, that's what they hired you for

  17. #1307
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    How long before this person starts spamming?
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  18. #1308
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I overheard from a co-worker that he received an email from someone high up in the union that the national labor board is telling our union we need to set a strike date.... :/
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  19. #1309
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    The MIA slacker I fired left the country with $8K worth of our computer equipment. This guy is a real piece of work.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  20. #1310
    Member insbordnat's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I overheard from a co-worker that he received an email from someone high up in the union that the national labor board is telling our union we need to set a strike date.... :/
    Shit, that's all over AP, you don't need to hear it from your co-worker. Unfortunate, because your stock is also down roughly 22% today.
    northside groove...southside groove....eastside groove...westside groove

  21. #1311
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I heard about the stock too. I haven't read the story yet in an actual paper yet.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  22. #1312
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I got the email: CWA executive board (my union) authorized us to go on strike. The CWA president just has to set a strike date. Holy cow, it's really happening again. First time since I got my job back in '98.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  23. #1313
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I wish i worked at an office with people that would do a Harlem Shake video
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  24. #1314

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    People who "talk" to themselves while thinking/working/reading emails PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. My office manager in the adjacent office does this constantly. Sometimes, just to be a dick, I'll say "I'm sorry, what was that Linda?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  25. #1315
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    so in my department they're always calling people "rock stars" and they had this like rock star appreciation event. plus i'm the only one into music, so they all associate music with me. so now via email when i call people a rock star, i include pictures of karen o. gotta have fun somehow.

    /coolstorybro
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  26. #1316

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I love job descriptions that include the phrase "rock star".

  27. #1317
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    7am meeting tomorrow. Woohoo!
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  28. #1318
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I asked someone for two specific ppt slides that I can include in a presentation.

    She sent me a two page PDF file (that cannot be inserted into powerpoint), two lengthy and very verbose Word Documents that resemble nothing like PPT slides, and two PPT slides that resemble nothing relevant to my request. Her email describes 3 things that are attached, none of which matches the file names in the email.

  29. #1319
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    There are two people I work with regularly who more often than not show up 1-3 hours late for every single appointment that they schedule with me. Or they "reschedule" events for other days without saying anything. Then they make a fit when they show up and I have another previously scheduled appointment with someone else that had clearly been marked on the calendar.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  30. #1320
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    do you punch them in the throat when they do that? u totally should.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    Coachella W2 - 4/25 Dillinger Escape Plan@Glass House - 5/1 The Horrors@First Unitarian Church - 5/9 Big Freedia@Echoplex - 6/28 Robyn/Royksopp@Bill Graham

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