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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #991
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    A coworker in my old department was standing in the way of my path to the fridge this morning, talking to another coworker from that same department. I slowed my approach, hoping that seeing me would prompt her to position herself so she wasn't in the way. It didn't. She was talking about what her duties are and I finally interrupted to say, "Stand in people's way," and just walked in between her and the person she was talking to.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I like the Coachella package they sent out this year. we now all have a snail.....cr****
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    In 12 more years, that snail will be nice and ready for you to fuck it.

  2. #992
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Well, now, you sound like a ray of sunshine at the office.

  3. #993
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I was very down yesterday and may have been seen crying at my desk at some point. Today I showed up to find a long stem red rose on my desk. I wish someone had left a name so I knew who to thank.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  4. #994
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    That's so nice!
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  5. #995
    old school Mr. Fuzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Blowjobs for everyone in the breakroom!
    Idol snake, get out of that skin.

  6. #996
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I spearheaded and operate the facebook page for the program I work for, which is about 15 minutes of work per week. The amount of praise I get from my coworkers and boss for managing this facebook page is grossly disproportionate to the effort I make.

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
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  7. #997
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i get the same kind of praise for knowing how to spell check with F7 and for using find & replace.

    hey guys, if you're going to change the meeting time to after it's already started, maybe let those of us sitting in the conference room know.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  8. #998
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Coworker 1: Cara, those packets you made for orientation looked PHENOMENAL! So organized, so many different colored paper....Wow! I was so impressed!

    Me: Oh, those? I minored in aesthetic collation in college.

    Coworker 2: That's a strange sounding degree, what kind of classes did you have to take for that?

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  9. #999
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Coworker 1: Cara, those packets you made for orientation looked PHENOMENAL! So organized, so many different colored paper....Wow! I was so impressed!

    Me: Oh, those? I minored in aesthetic collation in college.

    Coworker 2: That's a strange sounding degree, what kind of classes did you have to take for that?
    I laughed for a few minutes only imagining the look on your face as a result of this commentary.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  10. #1000
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My boss’ boss (who I’ve never met) is in town this week and hour one-on-ones have been scheduled for each of us (all my boss’ DRs). Specifically, I’ve been told to pick a couple topics that he’ll be interested in, and that I know cold. After some procrastination, I think what I put together may fill the hour, but we’ll see. I usually don’t get nervous about things like this, but I’ve had dreams about it for the last few days and now to kill the last few minutes, I’m posting on internet forums.

  11. #1001

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    My boss’ boss (who I’ve never met) is in town this week and hour one-on-ones have been scheduled for each of us (all my boss’ DRs). Specifically, I’ve been told to pick a couple topics that he’ll be interested in, and that I know cold. After some procrastination, I think what I put together may fill the hour, but we’ll see. I usually don’t get nervous about things like this, but I’ve had dreams about it for the last few days and now to kill the last few minutes, I’m posting on internet forums.
    LOL. Playa, how did it go? Are you alive?
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)

  12. #1002
    Coachella Junkie shakermaker113's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I'm tired of presentations going black because the person who connected their laptop to the projector didn't turn off the power saving option that disables the screen after five minutes of inactivity. how are you people running companies?

  13. #1003
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I had to explain the other day to a client, the head of a digital marketing company, that his usb drive wasn't "broken," and the reason is was telling him it was 'full," was because he hadn't emptied his recycle bin on his computer.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  14. #1004
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I'm aware that the copier is out of toner. Because I put a sign on it informing you that more is coming.

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  15. #1005
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by shakermaker113 View Post
    I'm tired of presentations going black because the person who connected their laptop to the projector didn't turn off the power saving option that disables the screen after five minutes of inactivity. how are you people running companies?
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I had to explain the other day to a client, the head of a digital marketing company, that his usb drive wasn't "broken," and the reason is was telling him it was 'full," was because he hadn't emptied his recycle bin on his computer.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    I'm aware that the copier is out of toner. Because I put a sign on it informing you that more is coming.
    You are all very patient individuals.

  16. #1006
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I'm here for overtime, and I've been on the phone with another department for 45 minutes. It's gonna be one of those days. *sigh*
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  17. #1007
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    On my lunch, I'm looking up other jobs because I don't really like mine. My boss comes to my desk as I have a screen open that says "Human Resources Generalist" really big on top. Oops.

  18. #1008
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My boss and my coworker decided to come into my office for yet another meeting on what it is we are looking for in the new people we are going to be hiring. We have been talking about this shit for 2 months now and have yet to place an ad. So I am a little frustrated with all the talking, just fucking do it all ready. My boss caught me rolling my eyes and decided to close the door to yell at us. After some yelling and me explaining that I am sick of talking about it and just want it done already, he calmed down enough to ask me to place the ad. He then asked if I thought Craigslist or Careerbuilder is better. I said, "Well I look in both... OOPS! I mean, I use to look in both..." My boss is convinced I am quitting my job now. I need to stop being so fucking honest.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  19. #1009
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    YOU DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM WHEN YOU ARE ON SPEAKERPHONE
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  20. #1010
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Nor does it help translate english to non english speakers

  21. #1011

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    So since we've gotten a new boss, I've actually not had to do other people's work, which is nice foe a change; on the flipside, i feel more stressed than ever because new projects keep coming, and coming...
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)

  22. #1012
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Approaching my last day of a convention in Vegas. I managed my company's presence at this conference; months of work. Exhausting. My first time ever doing this. And everyone was happy with my work. So much so that my boss is putting me in charge of all national conventions moving forward. This is.... horrifying.

  23. #1013
    Member caeden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    work hard, do good job, get screwed over by your own competence
    Quote Originally Posted by kvnty View Post
    You little cock sucker, menikmati. This is a fucking violation of compliance and you will fucking pay, you little pig.

  24. #1014
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Holy crap. I just got off an awful call with a customer. No we can't give you your phone number back because when you shut it off with Magic Jack, Cox took it and gave it to someone else. Ugh.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  25. #1015
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Re: my union's contract renegotiations with my employer (telephone company), my cubemates are in an uproar because another co-worker who will be on vacation through October 6 (the day our contract expires) had to give her manager her ID badge and headset upon leaving work today. This has us wondering if we will all have to turn in our ID badges and headsets the day before we could potentially go on strike. I actually don't care a whole lot about that, but my co-workers think our employer is not acting in good faith by doing that.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  26. #1016
    Entry level Alt kitt kat's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    This morning, I brought myself a prepackaged Trader Joe's salad for lunch.

    Ten minutes ago, I went to the fridge to eat my salad.

    My salad wasn't there.

    WHO FUCKING STEALS SOMEONE ELSE'S PREPACKAGED LUNCH FROM THE FRIDGE!?

    Is it rude of me if I put a note on the fridge asking whomever ate it to come reimburse me for my lunch? That was $5 wasted.

  27. #1017
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    you should shin kick the perpetrator. totally worth $5.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
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  28. #1018
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Who do you suspect did it?

    I worked as a receptionist at Wells Fargo Home Mortgage one summer to pay for a cruise after I graduated highschool and one day I got high during lunch and ate a coworker's entire tub of cream cheese. Then I tore down the signs that they posted demanding that it be replaced.

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  29. #1019
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    God that was a great summer.

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  30. #1020
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat View Post
    This morning, I brought myself a prepackaged Trader Joe's salad for lunch.

    Ten minutes ago, I went to the fridge to eat my salad.

    My salad wasn't there.

    WHO FUCKING STEALS SOMEONE ELSE'S PREPACKAGED LUNCH FROM THE FRIDGE!?

    Is it rude of me if I put a note on the fridge asking whomever ate it to come reimburse me for my lunch? That was $5 wasted.
    A lot of people do it apparently. It happens every once in a while at my work. I would trying to disguise the pre-packaged-ness of your lunch in the future so they don't know what it is readily.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

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