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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #961
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    They get the quiet foreigner in the corner to pick up their slack.

    The office jobs I've had were so stale, that dicking around was required. I would much rather prank phone call folks to make it look like I was making calls instead of staring at the wall. Fortunately we could smoke pot in that office if we were productive. Or brought the pot.

  2. #962
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RageAgainstTheAoki View Post
    Question for the slackers who are turning this into the workplace confessions thread: how do you have so much free time at work? Is business slow? I usually barely have time to eat a salad my desk let alone watch two movies. I know I'm probably in the minority here in that I really enjoy my job, but still...

    I'm not being judgey; just wondering how you get away with it.
    I'll answer your question more fully tomorrow, but I've worked on the administrative side of academia in a few various positions and my experience in other businesses also has led me to see obscene flaws in organization that lead to a bizarre administrative spread of duties that could easily, EASILY be done by one person.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  3. #963
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Summary of what just happened this morning...

    Employee: Hey Robin. Can you send me the info on how to log into the system where I can check my paystubs?
    Me: Sure. Just go to this website xxx. Your login is: xxx. Your temp password is: xxx.
    Employee: I just tried to log in using my old password and now I'm locked out.
    Me: *stares at computer screen, looking dumbfounded

    Quote Originally Posted by RageAgainstTheAoki View Post
    Question for the slackers who are turning this into the workplace confessions thread: how do you have so much free time at work? Is business slow? I usually barely have time to eat a salad my desk let alone watch two movies. I know I'm probably in the minority here in that I really enjoy my job, but still...

    I'm not being judgey; just wondering how you get away with it.
    Hahah! My position is slow. There really is no need for me here, but I'm the only one that knows how to do payroll and benefits. There's pretty much only a total of about 5 hours of actual work for me to do per week.

  4. #964
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i work in feast or famine, which is fairly typical for project management. i'm either working at all hours, including from home, eating meals while typing, or i'm doing absolutely nothing all day except talking to people about what might be coming next and creating draft after draft of documents to explain what's coming next.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  5. #965
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Same here. Sometimes I work 20 hour weeks watching movies and listening to records the whole time, and then right after I'm scrambling on 5 simultaneous projects working 70-80 hours a week.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  6. #966
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My company just got a new contract with one of the power companies, this will quadruple one portion of my work. It is starting soon so we have to find one person to hire and possibly another. I have to list out everything I do, decide what I would like to keep and what I would like to give up. It's like a create your own adventure book but with boring shit you do at work. I was given this opportunity once before and I made the wrong choice. THE PRESSURE!
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  7. #967
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Email from my boss today:

    Hello,
    *
    We have recently had a series of alarms requiring us to evacuate the building.* While it is not clear why we have had a sudden uptick in the number of alarms, I understand some of the alarms may have been caused by an antiquated system.* It is important that we do not become complacent in responding to these alarms.* The one time we fail to respond promptly will be the time we have an actual emergency!* I will see if I can find out what is causing the repeated alarms and will report back.* Again, while the alarms are very disruptive, they serve an important function and we need to respond appropriately.* Thanks!
    Quote Originally Posted by sk8r408 View Post
    The word "lulzy" is offensive.

  8. #968
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RageAgainstTheAoki View Post
    Question for the slackers who are turning this into the workplace confessions thread: how do you have so much free time at work? Is business slow? I usually barely have time to eat a salad my desk let alone watch two movies. I know I'm probably in the minority here in that I really enjoy my job, but still...

    I'm not being judgey; just wondering how you get away with it.
    this sucks to say out loud, but i'm actually overqualified for my position. I was in management for 5 years (worked my way up for 8 years before that in mutiple depts), but when my division restructured and laid off 1/3 of management, I had lost my position, but was 1 of 2 people that they elected to keep as technical support due to our familiarity with our systems/processes. I "get away" with "slacking" because the amount of work i get done in 20-30 hours is more than other people in my same position who kill themselves staying late to keep up. I'm less vocal when additional responsibilities are thrown my way, so my boss loves me because i don't rock the boat with complaints.

    The rant i went on above was very out of character for me (my boss even said so...maybe i was PMS'ing). I always tell myself that whatever stress this position has is much easier than what I was doing as a manager. Not that this is an easy job, i just am able to put things in perspective.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    Coachella W2 - 4/25 Dillinger Escape Plan@Glass House - 5/1 The Horrors@First Unitarian Church - 5/9 Big Freedia@Echoplex - 6/28 Robyn/Royksopp@Bill Graham

  9. #969
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JorgeC View Post
    this sucks to say out loud, but i'm actually overqualified for my position. I "get away" with "slacking" because the amount of work i get done in 20-30 hours is more than other people in my same position who kill themselves staying late to keep up. I'm less vocal when additional responsibilities are thrown my way, so my boss loves me because i don't rock the boat with complaints.
    I'm basically in the same boat...
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  10. #970
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    this one guy is contstantly a dick to me. i don't know what i did to upset him, but he only ever responds to emails i send to point out how wrong i am about something, even if he's in the wrong, it's still the only time he acknolwedges my emails. the worst part is, he's not busy, but he still ignores requests to help complete work that are really his area of expertise and not mine. i was actually feeling ok this morning when we exchange a series of "him being an asshole" and "me stating the facts" emails until i started crying. normally i can let this shit go, but i'm too sick for that right now. so then everyone sees me crying. it's embarassing. i had to talk to my boss, she talked to him, blah blah blah. i feel like a child
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  11. #971
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    You work with Suprefan?
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  12. #972
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Re: my union's contract renegotiations with my employer

    Last week my union started negotiating with my employer (the local phone company), and this week my employer ramped up a response: free food and branded merchandise all week. Monday we got pancakes, Tuesday we got hot dogs and a company-branded pizza cutter, yesterday was nachos and an LED mini-flashlight, today we got fresh apple slices with a small container of caramel and a branded calculator. I'm not sure if as a union member I should be accepting all this crap, but it's fun. I'll still vote to strike.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  13. #973
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    god knows the world doesn't have enough led flashlights.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
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  14. #974
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    So they view their employees as children? "Here's a toy and a yummy treat. Be good!"

    Down with unions.
    Last edited by JustSteve; 08-23-2012 at 04:59 PM.

  15. #975
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  16. #976
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    You project managers aren't kidding about that "when it rains, it pours" thing. I'm a group marketing manager, but since we went through a restructuring a month ago I’ve been project managing a couple of massive company-wide initiatives with very demanding calendars and which, by some sadist’s design, are all running concurrently. The earliest I’ve left the office this week was 10pm. And I’ll be working through the next 4 weekends to get these projects completed. I feel bad complaining when others have lost their jobs, but I’m getting too old for this kind of schedule. Good thing is I’m gaining a ton of experience in aspects of the business I barely touched before and my boss knows (and acknowledges) how hard I’m working right now. Still… old. Tired.

  17. #977
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I have a lot of respect for the project managers in my company. They have to deal with people from multiple departments that don't report to them and ensure they are on task and meeting deadlines. Rage and Ivy, you both seem like the type of people that can get people to do what you want (in a good way), i'm sure you're both awesome PMs =o)

    Our manager loves having us watch Simon Sinek videos during our team meetings. Anyone else been subjected to this?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    Coachella W2 - 4/25 Dillinger Escape Plan@Glass House - 5/1 The Horrors@First Unitarian Church - 5/9 Big Freedia@Echoplex - 6/28 Robyn/Royksopp@Bill Graham

  18. #978
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    So they view their employees as children? "Here's a toy and a yummy treat. Be good!"

    Down with unions.
    So you dislike my employer and my union? You do realize where we get weekends and 40 hour work weeks from, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  19. #979
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    This mean lady keeps talking about me behind my back. Except that I can hear her. Ugh. I am going to steal her starburst.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  20. #980
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Two weeks in and I have nothing to share. Well, I got an email sent out to everyone about bathroom cleanliness, but that's about it. I hope it stays this way.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
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    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  21. #981
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Sounds like a pretty low octane environment. Nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
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  22. #982
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    how fucking hard is it to put your time off in Outlook?! i wouldn't schedule over that time if it was BLOCKED AS BUSY!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  23. #983

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Decided against Tech Data and going for Ingram's 'Turn the Tables' (https://www.signup4.net/Public/ap.as...2T4pNBWGVWIQ== ). No crappy bands or cross country travel. It'll still be warm in Palm Springs, so maybe go a day early.

  24. #984
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Is it really difficult to enter numbers into Excel from a system generated report?
    I just spent the last hour working on this project. Part of this project is supposed to show the headcount of the company at the beginning of each fiscal year for the last 5 years. I was using an excel spreadsheet that the former HR person put together. Her numbers only go back to 2008. By the time I made it to 2007, I had to create a report from our payroll system to get the numbers. Turns out that the numbers in the excel spreadsheet are incorrect. So now I have to redo all her work from step 1 in order to finish my project.

  25. #985
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i walk into the breakroom.
    this dumb older cunt with a higher title is standing immediately in front of the door, talking to someone.
    neither person moves to let me get by.
    i say "excuse me"
    dumb older cunt does not look at me.
    i'm still standing there trying to find a way to get by,
    dumb older cunt sighs super heavy and takes one step backward
    i walk by, the two resume standing in the way of the door
    i leave the breakroom,
    NEITHER MOVES OUT OF THE WAY
    i have to ask them to move, AGAIN
    they both know me too, what cunts. i think the other lady was just acting out of fear of the dumb older cunt though cause she is normally nice. she was also not the one in the way technically. they were also discussing someone's vacation time which seemed a little inappropriate for breakroom conversation.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  26. #986
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    and thanks, JorgeC i somehow missed the compliment.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  27. #987
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i walk into the breakroom.
    this dumb older cunt with a higher title is standing immediately in front of the door, talking to someone.
    neither person moves to let me get by.
    i say "excuse me"
    dumb older cunt does not look at me.
    i'm still standing there trying to find a way to get by,
    dumb older cunt sighs super heavy and takes one step backward
    i walk by, the two resume standing in the way of the door
    i leave the breakroom,
    NEITHER MOVES OUT OF THE WAY
    i have to ask them to move, AGAIN
    they both know me too, what cunts. i think the other lady was just acting out of fear of the dumb older cunt though cause she is normally nice. she was also not the one in the way technically. they were also discussing someone's vacation time which seemed a little inappropriate for breakroom conversation.
    Infuriating.
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  28. #988
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    That is awful.

    edit: you should have puked on her.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  29. #989
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    In my experience people who behave that way are either (1) so incredibly self-absorbed that they are unaware of the world around them or (2) so increcibly insecure that they orchestrate little power moves like that because that is all the meaning they are able to wring out of their miserable, pathetic, hopeless lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  30. #990
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    tom is right about #1 and #2. she's completely irrelevant.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

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