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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #1261
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    when i am king, the throat-clearers and whistlers will be first against the wall.
    While both are annoying, I actually have to get on myself constantly for criticizing throat clearing. It drives me up the wall, but at the same time I understand that for many it's an involuntary action or a necessary action. I hate hate hate the sound, but it's probably better than their wheezing breathing.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  2. #1262
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I took a job making less than I had been making with the promise of a review in thirty days... Two months later and no review, I got offered another job making more somewhere else and have two days left at the last place and never want to go back to work for the last company again. I am tempted to just give the last company a big fuck you in the face and take two days off. Bad idea?
    Yes bad idea. You are always best to exit gracefully and uphold the commitment you made to your notice period. You never know who you may see again or need to interview with in the future. All it will do is negatively impact your reputation if you leave them in a lurch.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  3. #1263
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Yeah, that was drunken posting. I couldnt do it no matter how tempted I was this morning.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  4. #1264
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Ha, glad to hear it. You are nearly home free.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  5. #1265
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Yes bad idea. You are always best to exit gracefully and uphold the commitment you made to your notice period. You never know who you may see again or need to interview with in the future. All it will do is negatively impact your reputation if you leave them in a lurch.
    I have empirical evidence that suggests otherwise.

    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
    10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
    10/25: Moodymann @ PW
    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore

  6. #1266
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    While both are annoying, I actually have to get on myself constantly for criticizing throat clearing. It drives me up the wall, but at the same time I understand that for many it's an involuntary action or a necessary action. I hate hate hate the sound, but it's probably better than their wheezing breathing.
    i guess i have a different perspective. my voice teacher would get on you if you cleared your throat. all you are doing is rubbing your vocal chords together, slightly damaging them, and creating a dependence on clearing your throat. it's better to swallow or take a deep breath. people put themselves in the position of being stuck in a perpetual throat clearing cycle that isn't necessary at all. that makes it hard for me to ignore. i don't say anything to these people, but i do need to learn to not let it bother me so much, no matter how pointless it is.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  7. #1267
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    I have empirical evidence that suggests otherwise.
    Can you share the story?
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  8. #1268
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Can you share the story?
    STORIES.

    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
    10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
    10/25: Moodymann @ PW
    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore

  9. #1269
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Pick the best one.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  10. #1270
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I shan't. Live a little, Loca.

    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
    10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
    10/25: Moodymann @ PW
    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore

  11. #1271
    Rover canexplain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i guess i have a different perspective. my voice teacher would get on you if you cleared your throat. all you are doing is rubbing your vocal chords together, slightly damaging them, and creating a dependence on clearing your throat. it's better to swallow or take a deep breath. people put themselves in the position of being stuck in a perpetual throat clearing cycle that isn't necessary at all. that makes it hard for me to ignore. i don't say anything to these people, but i do need to learn to not let it bother me so much, no matter how pointless it is.
    I don't work so my house is my office. I have (guessing) Misophonia. Slurping, chomping on food, nervous tics like clicking on a pen, tapping your foot, twirling your hair (guess that not a sound) in general drives me nuts ..........cr****
    Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine

  12. #1272
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    I shan't. Live a little, Loca.
    I am going to talk to my boss today and not come back tomorrow, I have trained the new guy on everything I know how to do. So I am just sitting here playing words with friends on my phone while watching this new guy type and do data entry. He doesn't use his 10-key when typing numbers and it drives me bananas. How does someone who has done payroll longer than I have not know how to 10-key? I want to rip the keyboard off the desk and beat him with it. He also asks me questions and then interupts me 5 times while I try to answer him. I don't think I can take another day of this. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  13. #1273
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    You sort of sound like you're coming down with something, to be honest.

    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
    10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
    10/25: Moodymann @ PW
    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore

  14. #1274
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I think it's called dontgiveafuckness. I hear it's mighty contagious, they should kick my ass out of here.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  15. #1275

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My co-workers and I communicate in whistles sometimes. It's great.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Hey here's an idea. You know those people who are desperately poor, down on their luck, uneducated, abused, and generally ill-equipped for life? Let's make fun of them.

  16. #1276

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I am going to talk to my boss today and not come back tomorrow, I have trained the new guy on everything I know how to do. So I am just sitting here playing words with friends on my phone while watching this new guy type and do data entry. He doesn't use his 10-key when typing numbers and it drives me bananas. How does someone who has done payroll longer than I have not know how to 10-key? I want to rip the keyboard off the desk and beat him with it. He also asks me questions and then interupts me 5 times while I try to answer him. I don't think I can take another day of this. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    He must be having a GREAT TIME
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  17. #1277
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    From: Guy named David, Some
    Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2013 10:24 AM
    To: (about 25 people + a couple distribution lists)

    Clarification:
    Jan 31 was a Thursday.
    David
    Thanks David

  18. #1278
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I hired a guy to relocate from a considerable distance away a few months back due to his specialized skill set (from US into Canada). We paid a rather sizable relocation bonus to him at the time. He's been having several performance and availability issues since joining, and when it was formally addressed, we set expectations with him about how/when he needs to be working and about work quality. This was about a week ago - and now he's been MIA so far this week. The relocation costs need to be repaid by him if he quits, so I think he's hoping to hide out long enough to be let go, thinking that's a way he can keep the money. It's going to be a long week.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  19. #1279
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I hired a guy to relocate from a considerable distance away a few months back due to his specialized skill set (from US into Canada). We paid a rather sizable relocation bonus to him at the time. He's been having several performance and availability issues since joining, and when it was formally addressed, we set expectations with him about how/when he needs to be working and about work quality. This was about a week ago - and now he's been MIA so far this week. The relocation costs need to be repaid by him if he quits, so I think he's hoping to hide out long enough to be let go, thinking that's a way he can keep the money. It's going to be a long week.
    Do you have a policy in place where it's considered voluntary resignation if the employee is a no call/no show for x number of days?

  20. #1280
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    Do you have a policy in place where it's considered voluntary resignation if the employee is a no call/no show for x number of days?
    Basically we consider it job abandonment, but we have to wait for him to respond to us in order to formally determine the reason for his absence, and the duration of absence that would be considered abandonment. He would have to be terminated for cause in order to be forced to repay the funds, and "cause" can be tricky. Hence the waiting game. So annoying.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  21. #1281
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    presentation should be in black font with those retarded star bullets. why do i have to remind you every god damn fucking week?!?! just use the template i sent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  22. #1282
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    thanks for deleting my folder with months worth of documents while i was on medical leave, assholes. what fucking purpose did this serve?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  23. #1283
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    take a breath.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    If moles had subways, molestation wouldn't be one of the creepiest words there is ....
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Eat don't chat ...When I figure out what windlowless is, I'll respond .
    i hear voices in my head and they keep caaaaallin' me

  24. #1284
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Basically we consider it job abandonment, but we have to wait for him to respond to us in order to formally determine the reason for his absence, and the duration of absence that would be considered abandonment. He would have to be terminated for cause in order to be forced to repay the funds, and "cause" can be tricky. Hence the waiting game. So annoying.
    No call no show isn't cause? I believe at my current job it's less than a week.

  25. #1285
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    No call no show isn't cause? I believe at my current job it's less than a week.
    Our HR rep is making the "are you alive, hurt, ok" call tonight. Which opens the discussion for, "if you are well/alive then hey why aren't you working" discussion.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  26. #1286
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    You call for a "Procedures" meeting to go over procedure that you then don't follow. Go figure.

  27. #1287
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    am i the only one who finds clipping your nails at your desk to be gross and annoying?
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  28. #1288
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I also find it gross and annoying. I think it's rude for me to be able to hear the "clip, clip" noise.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  29. #1289
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Our HR rep is making the "are you alive, hurt, ok" call tonight. Which opens the discussion for, "if you are well/alive then hey why aren't you working" discussion.
    Are you allowed to do that in Canada? In the states, it's a sticky situation to ask those questions. It can be considered trying to obtain additional medical information. I can't even ask "How are you?" or "Are you feeling better?" to any employees without fear that they might sue me down the line under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

  30. #1290
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    Are you allowed to do that in Canada? In the states, it's a sticky situation to ask those questions. It can be considered trying to obtain additional medical information. I can't even ask "How are you?" or "Are you feeling better?" to any employees without fear that they might sue me down the line under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
    We can check on an employee's welfare if they haven't been able to be contacted when they should be working - just saying, "Where have you been? Is everything alright?" is acceptable. However he told us this morning his Internet connection was out in his building, but he has work email on his iPhone and could have replied to us, so basically he's full of shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

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