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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #1141
    old school Drewski27's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I really am not looking forward to answering phone calls from people looking to order turkeys and holiday platters. That and I have already had one lady nut job bitch about why we weren't playing holiday music. IT'S THE BEGINNING OF NOVEMBER YOU DUMB WHORE.
    Quote Originally Posted by TallGuyCM View Post
    ICYMI: Today the two board members with the most questionable approach to music held mirrors up to each other; no one learned a thing and nothing will change.

    September 24 - Modest Mouse - Vina Robles Amp.
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    November 9 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    April 10/11/12 - Coachella wknd 1 - Indio

  2. #1142

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I decided to jump on this no shave november bandwagon. I see customers and clients throughout the week and I hate feeling like a rugged slob, so all week I've been incredibly well dressed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  3. #1143
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JorgeC View Post
    Casual dress the entire month of November, but only if you volunteered for "Make a Difference Day" at a local school (must wear a United Way sticker on your badge!). There are several people that did NOT volunteer, but they are dressing in casual clothes. PEOPLE ARE PISSED!!

    /petty office drama

    i don't care, but the ladies on my aisle spent at least 30 min discussing this morning.
    I use to have the awesome job of being the wardrobe police at one of my last companies. I use to have to write up people who dressed casually who didn't contribute to whatever charity it was to do so. I also had to have a talk with a lady about the shortness of her skirts. I hope never to have to be that person again.
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    I have snuck in weapons before
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  4. #1144
    Member Eddie S.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    having to call businesses to inform them that they might have metal particles in the cereal they are selling is not fun

  5. #1145
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Facepalm

    I am able to work with little to no supervision, and also very punctual. Very diligent, pay very welk attention to detail, and very focused. Im open to all ideas.

  6. #1146
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    is anyone on the board PMP certified? i am thinking of taking the test within the next few months. i have researched the requirements over the years, and they seem to change. the application seems a lot different than i remember. i have questions on how they verify experience. some of the contacts for projects on which i have worked are now no longer with the company. i can easily document my project management education though.

    also, do you think it is worth it? has it helped you find jobs or earn a higher salary? my department doesn't require it and no one on my team has it. but within the next few years i would like to finish my degree and move to another state. i think having the PMP will help me find a decent paying project manager position. i know you have to pay a member ship fee and test a fee. those are yearly, right? does anyone know the difference between a PMI membership and a chapter membership?

    thanks
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  7. #1147
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    Facepalm
    HA!
    fuck.

  8. #1148
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Drewski27 View Post
    I really am not looking forward to answering phone calls from people looking to order turkeys and holiday platters. That and I have already had one lady nut job bitch about why we weren't playing holiday music. IT'S THE BEGINNING OF NOVEMBER YOU DUMB WHORE.

    Someone I work with already has it playing. Shoot me.
    fuck.

  9. #1149
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    is anyone on the board PMP certified? i am thinking of taking the test within the next few months. i have researched the requirements over the years, and they seem to change. the application seems a lot different than i remember. i have questions on how they verify experience. some of the contacts for projects on which i have worked are now no longer with the company. i can easily document my project management education though.

    also, do you think it is worth it? has it helped you find jobs or earn a higher salary? my department doesn't require it and no one on my team has it. but within the next few years i would like to finish my degree and move to another state. i think having the PMP will help me find a decent paying project manager position. i know you have to pay a member ship fee and test a fee. those are yearly, right? does anyone know the difference between a PMI membership and a chapter membership?

    thanks
    Ivy, here's a guest response from Mrs. Playa
    PMP is pretty easy to get and worth the time and money. It opens doors for many job opportunities. As a hiring manager for PM's, I get 100's of resumes of people calling themselves PMs, who really have no idea how to manage a large project. If they have a PMP, its an easy filter. If this is for more pay inside your existing job, it could help to formalize what you know. Most people think this is more difficult to obtain than it is so its an easy win in my opinion.

    I did my PMP several years ago, but I wouldn't stress about the application. If you can't find every reference, its not a huge deal. I don't think they usually verify so just put the right names down and your latest contact info.

    Don't pay money for a class. You will probably pass the first time if you do this, but a cheaper option is to buy Rita Mulhay's book, do the exercises, read it twice and you should pass (that's all I did - it took a few weekends of self-study and only the cost of the book).
    http://www.amazon.com/PMP-Exam-Prep-.../dp/1932735186

    Chapter membership is worthless unless you want to network and attend PMI meetings locally. You can pay a fee to get in the door without this I think.

  10. #1150
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Still waiting for a goddamn contract to get worked out. It's been a month since our contract expired. We could still go on strike.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  11. #1151
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I've started a new forecast model in excel, gave up, closed it, and deleted it 10 times in the past week because it's too hard to figure out. My mind is literally blown on how to proceed.

  12. #1152
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Still waiting for a goddamn contract to get worked out. It's been a month since our contract expired. We could still go on strike.
    are you still clicking?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    If moles had subways, molestation wouldn't be one of the creepiest words there is ....
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    Eat don't chat ...When I figure out what windlowless is, I'll respond .
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  13. #1153
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Drewski27 View Post
    I have already had one lady nut job bitch about why we weren't playing holiday music.
    Tell me madame, which traditional Thanksgiving songs do you most want to hear? Besides "Over The River and Through The Woods" I mean?

  14. #1154
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart cooks brain View Post
    are you still clicking?
    We only clicked that one day and mostly just the first time. Management told people to stop doing it and the union did not push it after that. We have not really been doing anything in my Local other than wearing union shirts Wednesdays and red on Thursdays. On the weekly union conference calls, I have heard other Locals doing insubordinate stuff and "informational pickets," but we have not been doing that. Our open enrollment began and we get to keep our current health insurance through the first quarter of next year and once we get a contract, we will enroll again.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  15. #1155
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    Ivy, here's a guest response from Mrs. Playa
    thank mrs. playa for the detailed response

    i definitely have a few things to learn when it comes to project management. we're pretty immature as an organization. we aren't very strict on scheduling here and we don't work with budgets. but i have studied these things and want to grow and learn more. thankfully i've read two versions of the PMBOK, taken two 4-day prep courses, and recently completed all my concentration courses (18 credits) in project management. so i think reading material will be a sufficient study tool. really glad to hear the prep courses aren't valuable and also that they aren't too strict with references. i have contacts, but that's always been the piece that keeps me from applying because of proprietary documents. thanks again
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  16. #1156
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    We only clicked that one day and mostly just the first time. Management told people to stop doing it and the union did not push it after that. We have not really been doing anything in my Local other than wearing union shirts Wednesdays and red on Thursdays. On the weekly union conference calls, I have heard other Locals doing insubordinate stuff and "informational pickets," but we have not been doing that. Our open enrollment began and we get to keep our current health insurance through the first quarter of next year and once we get a contract, we will enroll again.
    solidarity sister
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    If moles had subways, molestation wouldn't be one of the creepiest words there is ....
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Eat don't chat ...When I figure out what windlowless is, I'll respond .
    i hear voices in my head and they keep caaaaallin' me

  17. #1157
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by heart cooks brain View Post
    solidarity sister
    Thanks. I have to admit, if we did go on strike, the weather is much better now than it was in early October. But I would be extra broke around Christmas, which of course would suck.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  18. #1158
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread


  19. #1159
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I kind of want to do that to some of the guys I work with for my last day.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  20. #1160
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    we stapled a sandwich to the bottom of someone's chair during their last week.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    If moles had subways, molestation wouldn't be one of the creepiest words there is ....
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Eat don't chat ...When I figure out what windlowless is, I'll respond .
    i hear voices in my head and they keep caaaaallin' me

  21. #1161
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i have two cubes. one at the corporate office, which is my "assigned" cube, but i am rarely ever there. my second cube is in a project building. we've sectioned off a portion of the building for work on a multi-year project. another part of this building was recently remodeled. it's designed so that people do not have assigned cubes. instead there are small, universal workspaces. no docking stations for laptops, no dual-monitors, no file cabinets. ideally they want a paperless environment. as a project manager, this is nearly impossible given all the requests by leadership for paper documents during meetings. the only cool part about this space is that there are windows and small, comfortable collaboration areas for smaller meetings.

    this fucking sucks. we'll have to log into a phone (which in ten years i have somehow never had to do). i used to hate the dual monitor thing, but now i can't imagine working without it. i keep my email on one monitor so i can quickly respond to requests before someone gets up and asks me why i haven't responded urgently. i could do this with my laptop screen and the monitor i guess, but that will be really annoying for working on large excel documents that today i open up on both screens. this also means we can't keep any supplies at our desk. this wouldn't be a huge deal if it weren't for all the paper requests. i don't want to use a communal stapler. people take shit and you can't find it. also, we can't lockup our laptops on our dock at our desks anymore. so this means we have to take it home every.single.night, even if we're not going home, which is a liability.

    this isn't as big a deal, but i can't store emergency food/snacks or personal supplies like tampons anymore. no more kleenex. and no space. right now if i have a bunch of papers to collate and staple, i have enough desk space to do so while i'm sitting down. now i'd have to stand in some communal area to do this. i can't keep my phone and ipod charger, or my fan. i bought a heater recently which i'm going to return since i can't keep that at my desk now.

    ever since i started with the company my cubes have become smaller and smaller, but this is absolutely ridiculous. we feel like we're in trouble. we can't even bring over the docks & monitors from the corporate office that we almost never use. we're all a little peeved. i live on the third floor of an apartment and now will have to lug my laptop home every single fucking day. i can't take flights directly from work anymore. i'm thinking about keeping a box in my car with supplies that i'll bring in every single god damn day.

    while the space works from a project perspective, i don't understand why full-time project staff can't have assigned cubes. my laptop bag won't fit all the papers and shit i would need to lug around. this is obnoxious.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  22. #1162
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I received over 250 submissions for an open position. I really wanted to cry at certain times. Some of the things that made me say no:

    1. Horrible grammar and punctuation.
    2. Too many exclamation points in the cover letter.
    3. Comic Sans
    4. ALL CAPS
    5. Copying the cover letter verbatim from a template online.
    5. Starting the cover letter by saying "I do not have the experience necessary"
    6. Telling me that you're a divorced single mom.

  23. #1163
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    #6

    i think people don't realize that personal woes mean nothing to an employer. it's like asking for a raise because you have a lot of bills. your bills have nothing to do with your value as an employee.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  24. #1164
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Isn't one exclamation point in a cover letter one too many?

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  25. #1165
    Coachella Junkie greghead's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    I received over 250 submissions for an open position. I really wanted to cry at certain times. Some of the things that made me say no:

    1. Horrible grammar and punctuation.
    2. Too many exclamation points in the cover letter.
    3. Comic Sans
    4. ALL CAPS
    5. Copying the cover letter verbatim from a template online.
    5. Starting the cover letter by saying "I do not have the experience necessary"
    6. Telling me that you're a divorced single mom.
    Who the fuck uses even a single exclamation point? Unless, of course, it's a pirate-themed cover letter (I've seen one, and it was completely awesome).

    EDIT: Cara beat me to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
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  26. #1166
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Wow, Ivy. That is absolute CRAP.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  27. #1167
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Isn't one exclamation point in a cover letter one too many?
    Yup. I did let one person slide through with one exclamation point, though.

    I received this, and wanted to bitch slap my computer.

    I am very intrested in the job!!! I have attached my resume, and look forward to hearing back from you!!
    And yes, "interested" was spelled incorrectly.

  28. #1168
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    #6

    i think people don't realize that personal woes mean nothing to an employer. it's like asking for a raise because you have a lot of bills. your bills have nothing to do with your value as an employee.
    Not only that, but you're basically telling a potential employer right off the bat that you're going to have time management and availability issues.
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  29. #1169
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I just taught our accounting manager how to apply filters, do a find and replace, sort your data and change a print range in excel, this is the lady who is worth so much more per hour than I am. I still can't figure out what the fuck she does here besides bitch about what everyone else does.

    1 more mother fucking day!!!!!!
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  30. #1170
    Member caeden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I just taught our accounting manager how to apply filters, do a find and replace, sort your data and change a print range in excel, this is the lady who is worth so much more per hour than I am. I still can't figure out what the fuck she does here besides bitch about what everyone else does.

    1 more mother fucking day!!!!!!
    if the bitch is the accounting manager and she didn't know how to do that shit in the first place, why the hell would you teach her how to do it? i'd let her flail around trying to figure all that shit out on her own
    Quote Originally Posted by kvnty View Post
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