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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #121
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    adding the word "just" before telling someone to do something doesn't make it any easier.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  2. #122
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    "all you have to do is..."
    "should be pretty easy..."

  3. #123
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    "all you have to do is..."
    "should be pretty easy..."
    EXACTLY! i always hear this one girl trying to explain how to do something and it includes tons of that shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  4. #124
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    EXACTLY! i always hear this one girl trying to explain how to do something and it includes tons of that shit.
    Also, ending any instruction, statement, or opinion with an ambiguously rhetorical ‘...Right?’

  5. #125
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    my receptionist says "you know" SO DAMN MUCH...at the end of sentences, in the middle of sentences, proceeding sentences...and when i am asking questions, the answers to which I definitely do not know, it can be a bit frustrating. I have to bite my tongue sometimes when i get an especially surprising answer and I want to say "No I DON'T KNOW!"
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  6. #126
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I found out today one of the departments I run will now report to a different vp than my other departments. More bosses! Fuck yeah!
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  7. #127
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Fixing your mangled stapler ain't in my job description, ma'am.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  8. #128
    old school MarkO's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Pregnant lady at work called 911 to see how fast the FD would get there if she had an emergency.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cpt. Funkaho View Post
    Man, the Beatles were overrated like gravity is overrated. ......... Say what you want, but statements like "the Beatles were overrated" make me much less likely to listen to anything you say afterward.

  9. #129
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Someone at work asked me if I was a furry. And then told me that they're into "other things". Which sounds awfully ominous.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  10. #130
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My boss and I have been called into a 15 minute meeting with my boss’ boss at 9:45 called “Mandatory Touchbase”. With a short and ambiguous meeting it can only mean that I’m either being laid off, promoted, or transferred to another group.

  11. #131
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    There is a great big dead cockroach on the floor next to the window in my office. It has been there for 2 days. None of the men have been around to dispose of it and I can't work up the courage to do it myself. I know it is dead but it is still disgusting. So I am leaving it there till either the little dog eats it or a guy comes around to get rid of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  12. #132
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    My boss and I have been called into a 15 minute meeting with my boss’ boss at 9:45 called “Mandatory Touchbase”. With a short and ambiguous meeting it can only mean that I’m either being laid off, promoted, or transferred to another group.
    Since it's an early meeting and mid-week, not likely being fired. Good luck though. Let us know if anyone named Bob is there.

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    There is a great big dead cockroach on the floor next to the window in my office. It has been there for 2 days. None of the men have been around to dispose of it and I can't work up the courage to do it myself. I know it is dead but it is still disgusting. So I am leaving it there till either the little dog eats it or a guy comes around to get rid of it.
    Since you won't be there much longer, you could make a game of seeing how long it stays there and leave it behind when you start a new job.
    Last edited by koryp; 11-10-2010 at 08:17 AM.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  13. #133
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i end up using it myself, but i hate saying "touch base". good luck with the meeting, playa. let us know how it goes.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  14. #134
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Per my outlook calendar, I have two weekly standing "touchbases", one weekly "huddle", one biweekly "lunch and learn", a weekly "coffee call", and one monthly "chit chat". WTF!
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  15. #135
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Wait, "chit chat" is actually a business term? hahahahahaha. That's so great.

    I admit that i use "touch base" somewhat frequently when it comes to hounding down clients, because it just seems to make sense and people know I'm talking about.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  16. #136
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Sorry, nothing too exciting to share.

    My current boss is moving out of the LOB and now becoming the head of Technology. I now report to (on paper at least) a schmuck. I mean, he’s not just a schmuck on paper, but one in real life too. It’s just an ‘on paper’ relationship since I’m cast away on some special project and not really doing my day job anyway. And they gave me commitment that at the end of this special project, I’m moving out of my current role and into something new.

  17. #137
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by koryp View Post
    Since you won't be there much longer, you could make a game of seeing how long it stays there and leave it behind when you start a new job.
    I could do what I did when I left a particularly disgusting apartment complex, I can just collect all the dead ones and leave them in a pile on the kitchen counter.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  18. #138
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Wait, "chit chat" is actually a business term? hahahahahaha. That's so great.
    First showed up here about three years ago. Introduced by a CEO of one of our joint ventures. It is a multidivisional meeting with 50% of the meeting devoted to open discussion of items concerning all the service lines involved. I like to call meetings, meetings. I should send a decline answer and indicate I will only be attending meetings, inservices, and councils from now on.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  19. #139
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by koryp View Post
    Per my outlook calendar, I have two weekly standing "touchbases", one weekly "huddle", one biweekly "lunch and learn", a weekly "coffee call", and one monthly "chit chat". WTF!
    no "One on One's" ?

  20. #140
    old school bleep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    brown bag meetings piss me off. let me eat in peace.

  21. #141
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    no "One on One's" ?
    Not yet. I did leave out the quarterly "Town Hall".
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  22. #142
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I have an 'Open Line' at 1 today. It's kinda like a town-hall, but it's not.

  23. #143
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    All of this jargon makes me somewhat more comforted in the fact that i am 'below the line,' so I never have to participate in any of this bullshit.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  24. #144
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bleep View Post
    brown bag meetings piss me off. let me eat in peace.
    agreed. i just got one of those. cater or leave my lunch alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  25. #145
    Member I.F.A.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    agreed. i just got one of those. cater or leave my lunch alone.
    Triply agreed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    It is Joycian (if James Joyce were a Super Bitch).

  26. #146
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I eat at my desk while working 8/10 days. Le sigh. On the bright side i have nothing to do today so i can listen to music in peace mostly undisturbed.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  27. #147

    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    All of this jargon makes me somewhat more comforted in the fact that i am 'below the line,' so I never have to participate in any of this bullshit.
    I agree.

  28. #148
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by koryp View Post
    Per my outlook calendar, I have two weekly standing "touchbases", one weekly "huddle", one biweekly "lunch and learn", a weekly "coffee call", and one monthly "chit chat". WTF!
    We have "huddles" at my work. It seems to be a meeting that is 30 minutes or less. Anything longer than that is a full-fledged meeting.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  29. #149
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    The owners wife finally picked up the dead roach, I no longer have to see it. YAY
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  30. #150
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Just got called out of a "touchbase" to attend a "tabletop" disaster drill. This is gonna suck!
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

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