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Thread: The Office Space Thread

  1. #61
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    That is not what i was picturing when you described it earlier. Damn.
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    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  2. #62
    old school eskamo951's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I was expecting a large industrial warehouse with pallets full of plates and dishes and I could just run around swinging a sledgehammer and kicking shit
    Sean Penn Acid Test 2008 - Legendary

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    Hell or highwater, fire and brimstone, not even cancer is powerful enough to keep me from Coachella!

  3. #63
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    That ^ is what I was expecting, too! It's the way a friend described it to me. She's dead to me now.

  4. #64
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by NachoCat View Post
    Swear to god....

    You know how people will use words when spelling something over the phone like... C as in Cat... T as in Tom... and so on.

    This lady is spelling "Adept" P as in pony, T as in the pony

    WTF
    ha ha ha ha ha.

    yesterday i got an email at 9:24 from a co-worker giving me a heads-up that since i was working at home, i didn't get the news that our director wanted a bunch of power points sent to her by 9:30. so i rushed to get them done. she didn't come into work until 2:00. i am SO glad she's not my boss anymore, what the FUCK?!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  5. #65
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    $10 buys you a goodly amount of porcelain dreck at your friendly neighborhood Goodwill. All is not lost.

  6. #66
    old school eskamo951's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Thanks to the recession, the only mailing labels I can find are so old that they're not in the Microsoft Office label templates. I did not know there were any label formats omitted from the templates until now.
    Sean Penn Acid Test 2008 - Legendary

    2008 , 2009, 2010, 2011 , 2012 wk1, 2013 wk2. 6 years running!

    Hell or highwater, fire and brimstone, not even cancer is powerful enough to keep me from Coachella!

  7. #67
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    $10 buys you a goodly amount of porcelain dreck at your friendly neighborhood Goodwill. All is not lost.
    can you hire one of the homeless people hanging out out front to come and clean up the mess that will be made when done?

  8. #68
    old school eskamo951's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    My office is attached to a senior center and they have a crappy band for their Independence Day luncheon. I'm going to shoot myself. Also, wasn't that holiday 3 days ago? And they aren't handing out free food to those of use suffering through this injustice.
    Sean Penn Acid Test 2008 - Legendary

    2008 , 2009, 2010, 2011 , 2012 wk1, 2013 wk2. 6 years running!

    Hell or highwater, fire and brimstone, not even cancer is powerful enough to keep me from Coachella!

  9. #69
    old school eskamo951's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Memo
    To: Park & Rec
    Subject: Food in Banquet Room Freezer

    Attention staff, a number of items have been left in the banquet room freezer at ______ Park. This items need to be removed by Friday or they will be sold to help staff pay their bills.
    Thank you
    Sean Penn Acid Test 2008 - Legendary

    2008 , 2009, 2010, 2011 , 2012 wk1, 2013 wk2. 6 years running!

    Hell or highwater, fire and brimstone, not even cancer is powerful enough to keep me from Coachella!

  10. #70
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I work with this person that always needs help at the end of the quarter with her one job responsiblity. Everyone has to drop whatever they are doing to help her. She spends the rest of the quarter yapping on the phone. She's yapping right fucking now.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  11. #71
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I hate when I have to be open in the queue, I need to go to the bathroom, and all my other co-workers are on break. ARGH.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  12. #72
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    The people I work for/with think I am amazing because I know how to work a computer and it doesn't take me an hour to complete the slightest task. I am starting to think the lady who was here before me must have had some mental issues or something. When people can be amazed by copy & paste you know something is up.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  13. #73
    Member lunatic core's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    When ever I feel down about being a waiter I think back to how stupid and boring my office job was.
    I spent an entire work week on xbox.com once, and near the end I was so bored I couldn't stand my ipod anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by darkjustice View Post
    this mix is tripping me out
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  14. #74
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I'd rather be bored than stressed. At least I can eek the time by here.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  15. #75
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I would rather be stressed and have a lot of work to do. I sit here all day on the internet reading news and playing freecell. The owners wife does the same. It just makes the day go by incredibly slow. Like right now, I feel like it should be time for happy hour already and it isn't even time for lunch.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  16. #76
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    The people I work for/with think I am amazing because I know how to work a computer and it doesn't take me an hour to complete the slightest task. I am starting to think the lady who was here before me must have had some mental issues or something. When people can be amazed by copy & paste you know something is up.
    At my first job out of college (working for the same University I graduated from, no less), a couple of Directors of the Department I was in would freak out about how amazing I was at being able to make copies and type up documents. Then they would boast about how it must be because I attended the University that I was so skillful. At making copies. And spreadsheets.

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  17. #77
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Also, I just found out that our new employee, who has been giving me seriously creepy vibes this last week, has a large collection of dolls. In her office.

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  18. #78
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Does she name them?

    I just amazed someone with my ability to scan a document and attach it to an email. I ROCK!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  19. #79
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Does she name them?
    I don't want to know, but I'm sure I will find out.

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  20. #80
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I hate people who don't use their vacation days. Give em to people who want em.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  21. #81
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    i had a VP once that would make me come into his office everytime he needed a "fit to page" on a spreadsheet. i'd try to tell him it's one click and he'd just shake his head and say "job security". we also had an admin that double-clicked hyperlinks. and no one knew the difference between a CD-R and a CD-RW and were AMAZED that i could tell them. job security.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  22. #82
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    The single click vs. double click thing drives me nuts. It isn't that difficult. You single click a link and double click a file/program to open/start. It isn't that difficult people. COME ON!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  23. #83
    old school RageAgainstTheAoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I’m sort of a gate-keeper for all marketing and r&d proposals sent to my company. We get some odd ones, but trust the Germans to give us the creepiest one yet. This one came to me this morning from a gentleman in Berlin. Apparently the Germans have a different idea of what “family fun” consists of. His email stated…

    Dear Lady and Gentle Man,

    I would like to introduce you a new ice form! Attached you can find some pictures of my idea. I’m looking for a producer and marketer. Perfect for family fun! Currently I take new photographs of family enjoying new ice form. I will send soon.

    I would happy to be hear from you!



    And these were the attachments…















  24. #84
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Holy moly that's the best e-mail ever.
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    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  25. #85
    old school eskamo951's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i had a VP once that would make me come into his office everytime he needed a "fit to page" on a spreadsheet. i'd try to tell him it's one click and he'd just shake his head and say "job security". we also had an admin that double-clicked hyperlinks. and no one knew the difference between a CD-R and a CD-RW and were AMAZED that i could tell them. job security.
    My job security is turning a Microsoft Office document into a PDF. I learned how to do this the first time they asked me to try.

    My co-worker is back! I'm not longer doing a 3 person job on my own!
    Sean Penn Acid Test 2008 - Legendary

    2008 , 2009, 2010, 2011 , 2012 wk1, 2013 wk2. 6 years running!

    Hell or highwater, fire and brimstone, not even cancer is powerful enough to keep me from Coachella!

  26. #86
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    excellent news! we are terribly, terribly slow right now. which is good because i have a big project proposal due today for school i'm having trouble finishing.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  27. #87
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    I just showed a coworker how to email photos from his phone to himself so that he could then email the photos to someone else. He doesn't know what he would do without me. These guys build buildings but can't figure out how to use their phone or email. Amazing.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  28. #88
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Why not just have him email the photos from his phone to the person? Why the intermediate step?
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  29. #89
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Because he had 3 pictures on a camera and 8 pictures on the phone. He wanted to email them all at once instead of sending the owners rep 11 emails in a row. But either way would have worked.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  30. #90
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Office Space Thread

    Ah, that makes sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

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