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Thread: Public Commentary on Private Messages

  1. #121
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    I probably wouldn't tell someone to reevaluate his priorities, which is sort of bitchy, but everything else seems reasonable.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  2. #122
    Member I.F.A.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Yeah, but Courtney included non-verbal cues which I think are important to pay attention to in this sort of scenario - if the girl is not making eye-contact and inching away from someone, that should be a pretty big clue to that someone that their overtures are unwanted. I think that people have a right to not want to be bothered, and to not have to indulge other people in unwanted conversation - and I think that the described body language makes her discomfort clear. Sometimes being curt is the only way to get out of these situations, but equating curtness to bitchiness is, I think, the problem. Also, "bitch" is a label that almost exclusively gets applied to curt women. Were the scenario inverted, I don't think the guy would be taking blame for being a bitch - the blame would still, I think, be assigned to the woman for coming on too strong or something.

    It's like telling some stranger that they need to smile - a statement that most frequently, I think, comes in the direction from a man to a woman (unsolicited and with no previous contact i.e.: I'm smoking a cigarette and reading a book - random guy says "you should smile - you're too pretty to frown"). First, the assumption is that the man in that scenario has the right to interrupt and demand a smile from a stranger. Second is the assumption that the woman should accede to that request. Third is the assumption that if she doesn't, she is a bitch. When I find myself in this situation, it always pisses me off a little, because my options are either to smile just to get them to leave me alone, or else be curt to get them to leave me alone (unfortunately, just saying "please leave me alone", even with the most neutral delivery, comes off as curtness) - either way, they have forced me in to a position in which I have to do something that I don't want to do. Is it the end of the world? No, but it is a small example of the power dynamics that exist in male/female interaction which seem designed to corner women in to the bitch label.

    Also: I think this veers in to the question of when it is appropriate to try to initiate any sort of contact with someone. If they are intently studying a painting, reading a book, picking out produce, or doing anything that looks like it requires their attention: leave them alone until there is an obvious opening (they walk away from the painting, put down their book, move away from the produce... whatever).
    Last edited by I.F.A.; 08-04-2011 at 12:01 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    It is Joycian (if James Joyce were a Super Bitch).

  3. #123
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    People of both genders ask me to smile all the time. I don't smile much.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  4. #124
    Member I.F.A.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Amyzzz, I defend your right to not smile.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    It is Joycian (if James Joyce were a Super Bitch).

  5. #125
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by I.F.A. View Post
    Sometimes being curt is the only way to get out of these situations, but equating curtness to bitchiness is, I think, the problem.
    Saying "would you excuse me" and walking away without further explanation is curt. Saying "would you excuse me and also here's something that I've found to be wrong with you" is bitchy.

  6. #126
    Member I.F.A.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Saying "would you excuse me" and walking away without further explanation is curt. Saying "would you excuse me and also here's something that I've found to be wrong with you" is bitchy.
    Point taken. However, based on personal experience, had she just said "would you excuse me" and walked away, I think it's unfortunately likely he would have still interpreted it as her being a bitch.
    Last edited by I.F.A.; 08-04-2011 at 12:05 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    It is Joycian (if James Joyce were a Super Bitch).

  7. #127
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    I was sort of ready to write a bit of a manifesto detailing firstly how unfortunate it is that the kind of people (usually men) that get so seriously personally offended by my occasional sarcastic, mean-spirited remarks have somehow made it through life without any sort of capacity to envision themselves as subjects of potential humor and/or criticism, secondly on how typical it is that their mode of defense in such matters usually results in an attack on physical attractiveness--which in and of itself belies paternalism and misogyny--as a method of trying to establish control over how 'worth' for a woman can be defined, and thirdly, on how frankly the successes and happiness I have had and will continue to have in life are no doubt directly related to my willingness to be outspoken and my ability to give out and take a fucking a joke...

    BUT YOU BITCHES WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT ART OR WHATEVER

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  8. #128
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Ed Hardy shirt guy would be looking for big tittied whore in the gallery, not cute bookish girl. Therefore, the entire scenario is invalid.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  9. #129
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    hahahaha
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  10. #130
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    People of both genders ask me to smile all the time. I don't smile much.
    10/8 - Little Dragon @ Marquee (Tempe, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
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    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  11. #131
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    What if you're a big tittied bookish girl? WHAT THEN?
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  12. #132
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    Ed Hardy shirt guy would be looking for big tittied whore in the gallery, not cute bookish girl. Therefore, the entire scenario is invalid.
    Incorrect. Ed Hardy shirt guy fucks anything that moves.
    10/8 - Little Dragon @ Marquee (Tempe, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  13. #133
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    I never realized how much I resembled Daria before.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  14. #134
    Coachella Junkie sonofhal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    I assumed she was based on you.
    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    well, for all intensive porpoises it is, will sell out within seconds tomorrow.
    Quote Originally Posted by korbinn View Post
    It's jsut dawned on me that I'm overly confident and a extremely ocd perfectionist.
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  15. #135
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Nah, she's much, much wittier than I. But thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  16. #136
    cat hoarder rskapcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    I wasn't aware guys with the kind of money it requires to have second homes for vacation purposes (tacky or not) wore Ed Hardy. Guess that crap appeals to a different demographic outside of Texas. But I'm also confused why the bookish girl is hanging out at a showing for art she hates. Wouldn't that be like purposely going to see a band you hate? I'M SO LOST.
    My name is Becca. Hi.

    Facebook, yo.
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    If it was supposed to be a joke, there'd be a cat in the picture somewhere. That's how you can tell, on the internet.

  17. #137
    old school nosurprises12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    People of both genders ask me to smile all the time. I don't smile much.
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    See, this is what I immediately thought of when I read this (and other similar) comment:

    Quote Originally Posted by roberto73 View Post
    I'd contribute to this discussion but I'm still busy reminiscing about the halcyon days of punk. You know, the mid-90s.

  18. #138
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    Ed Hardy shirt guy would be looking for big tittied whore in the gallery, not cute bookish girl. Therefore, the entire scenario is invalid.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    What if you're a big tittied bookish girl? WHAT THEN?
    What if you're a cute, bookish whore?

  19. #139
    old school downingthief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    What if you're a big tittied bookish girl? WHAT THEN?
    SWOON

  20. #140
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by rskapcat View Post
    I wasn't aware guys with the kind of money it requires to have second homes for vacation purposes (tacky or not) wore Ed Hardy. Guess that crap appeals to a different demographic outside of Texas. But I'm also confused why the bookish girl is hanging out at a showing for art she hates. Wouldn't that be like purposely going to see a band you hate? I'M SO LOST.
    The Ed Hardy thing in Honolulu is weird, because of the Hawaii/Sailor Jerry connection and the dominant acceptance of tattooing as an artform here. Somehow that translates into people thinking that Ed Hardy is legitimate artistic expression. People are confused.

    Also sometimes one does not know whether an art show will be good until you see. Much like how sometimes you go to a concert because you like the last album, but now the band has all these new songs and they are all horrible. Like Okkervil River.

  21. #141
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    What if you're a big tittied bookish girl? WHAT THEN?
    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    What if you're a cute, bookish whore?
    My head just exploded.

    So did Sean's, I imagine.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  22. #142
    old school downingthief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    What if you're a cute, bookish whore?
    DOUBLE SWOON

  23. #143
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    See. He's in the bathroom RIGHT NOW.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  24. #144
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Congratutaions Cara! Great work.

    Jen, there's still time left before the end of the year. I have faith you can make another run at the title.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  25. #145
    old school NachoCat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    The Ed Hardy thing in Honolulu is weird, because of the Hawaii/Sailor Jerry connection and the dominant acceptance of tattooing as an artform here. Somehow that translates into people thinking that Ed Hardy is legitimate artistic expression. People are confused.
    I've always found that Hawaii is about 2-3 years behind on everything, especially fashion. Its like a fuckin timewarp

  26. #146
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    these last two pages have been great reading. yay for bookish big titted cunts.

  27. #147
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    NachoCat only wore Ed Hardy when it was cool.

    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore
    11/21: DJ Harvey @ PW
    11/24: mr. Gnome @ Bottom of the Hill
    11/25: DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist @ Fox Theater Oakland
    11/28: Dixon @ TBA
    12/1: Angel Olsen, Kevin Morby @ GAMH
    12/4: Avi Buffalo @ Brick and Mortar
    12/6: Dream Police @ Brick and Mortar
    12/11: tUnE-yArDs, Cibo Matto @ Fox Theater Oakland
    12/12: Ancient Methods @ Mercer
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  28. #148
    photoslut ivankay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I'm also sort of annoyed that Cara is the new board cunt. Marriage has softened me.
    Sig worthy.

  29. #149
    Cult Leader koryp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    these last two pages have been great reading. yay for bookish big titted cunts.
    This made me visualize a very disturbing image.
    Wow, 12 step meetings at Coachella, who knew? SOBERCHELLA.COM

    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case....

  30. #150
    old school NachoCat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public Commentary on Private Messages

    Cara I propose you substitute the chicken hat for the Cunt Crown next year. Can we get someone draw up a prototype?

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