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Thread: Roommate Stories

  1. #61
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    antepenultimate
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  2. #62
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    At that same time there was another girl in another room of the apartment who NEVER kept track of her student ID. Like ever. EVERY FUCKING DAY she'd quiz us multiple times on if we'd seen it anywhere. Eventually me and AIDSmate stole her ID and stuck it in the fridge to see if she could find it. (She didn't until we 'fessed up a few days later.)
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  3. #63
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Oh. And once my AIDSmate bought a case of moon pies on the internet and then stored them ON TOP OF MY TOASTER OVEN so they all melted, and their packaging melted, all over the whole thing. Guess who had to clean it up.

    She also bought a bonnet on eBay and wore it while studying.

    A freshman year roommate conducted drug deals by shouting from our balcony to the building across the way.

    The only serious fight my last roommate and I had in two years of living together was whether or not someone in an ad looked like Colin Meloy.
    Last edited by miscorrections; 03-04-2010 at 10:45 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  4. #64
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    At that same time there was another girl in another room of the apartment who NEVER kept track of her student ID. Like ever. EVERY FUCKING DAY she'd quiz us multiple times on if we'd seen it anywhere. Eventually me and AIDSmate stole her ID and stuck it in the fridge to see if she could find it. (She didn't until we 'fessed up a few days later.)
    Ha ha ha ha! I did the exact same thing with a roommate's phone. All three of us happened to have black Motorola Razrs and he'd always accuse us of accidentally taking his phone and then of course he'd find it under a pile of clothes or in his car and sheepishly apologize.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  5. #65

    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    What kind of jargin is being talked about behind my back here?

    It was for a fashion show - no more questions!!!

  6. #66
    Member OnlyNonStranger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Wow isn't that the lamest alias

  7. #67
    Judgy McMarco TeamCoachellaHellYeah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Jew's roommate View Post
    What kind of jargin is being talked about behind my back here?

    It was for a fashion show - no more questions!!!
    disco stick.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Reviewers who note the size of the crowd are dumb fucks.
    COACHELLA's: 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. 2015.

  8. #68
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Jew's roommate View Post
    What kind of jargin is being talked about behind my back here?

    It was for a fashion show - no more questions!!!


    Oh shit, this reeks of BD.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  9. #69
    Coachella Junkie
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    I should get my friends to post in here. 6 of them have been living at a giant house in the middle of nowhere and are practically at each others throat. I'm sure they'd have some lovely stories to tell.

  10. #70
    Judgy McMarco TeamCoachellaHellYeah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    VA beach is definately SOMEWHERE.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Reviewers who note the size of the crowd are dumb fucks.
    COACHELLA's: 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. 2015.

  11. #71
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by juloxx View Post
    You promised you wouldnt tell anyone!

    I'm glad I clicked View Post on that one.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  12. #72
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamCoachellaHellYeah View Post
    VA beach is definately SOMEWHERE.
    Yes, but Manakin in Goochland County is not.

  13. #73
    old school stuporfly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    I've actually been fairly lucky with roommates. They've been quirky, sure, but none of them were photographing me while I slept. Or if they were, I never found out about it.

    I did have a roommate who was afraid to poo at a new girlfriend's apartment, so he made some lame excuse while over there one night, sprinted the few blocks toward our place and badly sprained his ankle along the way. Miraculously, he limped through the front door having not shat himself.
    Quote Originally Posted by garspaceman View Post
    well hello my fancy pants.

  14. #74
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat View Post
    My roommate is a fucking psychotic bitch.

    She's a lazy, stuck up pig. She's so lazy and spoiled, instead of her parents telling her to do her dishes and pick up after herself (this is after I emailed her asking to please clean a month's worth of dishes, fermented milk included, out of the sink), they now pay for a maid that comes weekly to do her dishes and her LAUNDRY. Being busy isn't an excuse; she never comes to class or does her work.

    She's a fucking thief and copycat; last year, she stole clothing from my other roommate and I and when we confronted her about it when we saw her wearing said objects --- we could tell mainly because: 1. they were ours. 2. she's fat and the clothes were WAY too small for her --- she would just storm out of the apartment and slam the door. She used to insult my music taste (when I met her, she liked Sufjan and Elliot Smith) and told me film > music and blogs were "Stupid" and "useless" when I started one...then she's blasting Animal Collective (post MPP, of course) and says Kim Gorodn is her idol (UM WTF?), starting a blog of her own...OH YEAH, AND TRYING TO WRITE ABOUT MUSIC. (She wrote exclusively about "pretentious" films since high school.)

    She thinks MY cat is hers. I bought the cat. The cat has my NUMBER on her tags. I take and pay for the cat's vet visits. I buy the food. I clean the little box. Her rational? "She likes me more than you." YEAH, OK.

    She brings weird guys over and makes them use MY BATHROOM. (SHE HAS HER OWN.) I asked her that, if she's comfortable enough to bring guys to the house, she should be OK with them using her private bathroom. The next day, my toilet was clogged with giant turds. (I hadn't been home; I was at my boyfriend's.) My mom called her mom...and her mom thought it was 100% OK and that "She [I] shouldn't have complained in the first place" and "she [I] had it coming for not letting ****'s friends use the bathroom."

    She never pays bills on time and blames me for not having enough money to pay them myself. (Like I'm walking around with money to pay a $350 power/water bill in full all the time.) Her excuse is that she's "too busy" to write me a check. ALWAYS. IT TAKES TWO SECONDS.

    She sets her alarm for insane times like 4am or 5am (keep in mind, she doesn't have an early job --- she has NO job, mommy and daddy bankroll her --- or any early classes) and then LETS IT KEEP RINGING --- sometimes up to an hour or more --- without getting up to turn it off. I can't tell you how many times I've had to go slam her door shut and wear earplugs at night to try and block it out. She also stays up until 3am every night in the living room on her computer (she has her own room with a desk) and blasts music and has all the lights on when I try to sleep. I am quiet in the morning when she's sleeping in and missing class, but when I have class early the next morning, it's totally cool for her to be loud. (sarcasm.)

    We used to be really close friends, but one day, she woke up and unfriended me on Facebook and told me she hated me. I still have no idea why. I stayed her friend and lost a LOT of other friends by sticking up for her the past 4 years --- she is rude and obstinate and very unlikeable. I feel stupid for trying to look past that for so long. I'm just too nice, I guess. She can't take criticism, can't work in groups...and thus, made herself not well respected in our program.

    She doesn't turn in work in class, citing she is "too different" to work on deadlines. She'll never get a job because she can't take direction and she'll fight you on EVERYTHING.

    For reference: this is the bitch who wrote the "Coachella is lame and should be like Woodstock because it's too corporate" article we all LOLd and firebombed last year.
    This post is more scatter brained than a Courtney Love blog.

  15. #75
    Member lizng's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    My first roommate was the mistress of a newly released convicted felon with rage issues. She met him through his cousin a few days after he was released from jail and they started "dating". She found out several months later that he was shacking up with a woman 20-years his senior and decided to confront the woman. (I moved in while this was going on, but it was left out when she was telling me how normal her life was.) Some Jerry Springer-style scheming was conducted and the two of them confronted Mr. Felon about this love triangle.

    Apparently the confrontation did not go well; when I was home with a friend one night someone started banging on the door, demanding to be let in. I looked through the peephole and did not recognize the psychopath (remember, I haven't met Mr. Felon), and after hearing that when he bangs the door down, he'll kill me, my roommate and the "stupid barking dog." I call 911 and the cops make him leave. I am told that because I called 911 that he could be sent back to jail as he's on parole and he's pissed that I jeopardized his future. I ask what the guy was in jail for and it was for pushing his ex-girlfriend's face through a windshield, leaving her moderately disfigured. The drama dies down and I don't hear anything about this guy for a few weeks.

    As I'm walking through the apartment one day, I see Mr. Felon exiting my roommate's bedroom (post coitus) with no shirt on. Scrawled across his chest was "WHITE POWER" with a few swastika accents and other arian nation bullshit. I had a few arguments with the roommate about how I didn't want the guy in the apartment ever again since he threatened to murder me... but she said it wasn't possible because she "loved him". Feeling incredibly uncomfortable and certain that more white-trash drama was eminent, I moved out several days later.

    I heard through friends that this girl got knocked up by another guy shortly after my departure and they are now married and have several kids. The whereabouts of Mr. Felon are unknown, but I like to think he's in prison.
    Quote Originally Posted by juloxx View Post
    The Wizard didnt resist the police, the police resisted The Wizard

  16. #76
    Member justinaqui's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    I don't have any shitty roommate stories. I'm concerned that "If you can't find the shitty roommate, you're him".

  17. #77
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    I kicked my last roommate out for not having a job in 8 months and stopping payment on his side of the bills. When my friend moved in to replace him, he had to clean out some furniture from his room, some speakers, a desk, an old computer monitor, that type of stuff. Anyway, we had to disassemble the desk to get it out of the room. So my new roommate is taking it apart and bringing the pieces downstairs, and only after he gets puts one of the slats down after it was pressed up against his face does he realize that the surface is covered in aged and yellowed cum.

  18. #78
    Member Davids81's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by CellarOwl View Post
    I kicked my last roommate out for not having a job in 8 months and stopping payment on his side of the bills. When my friend moved in to replace him, he had to clean out some furniture from his room, some speakers, a desk, an old computer monitor, that type of stuff. Anyway, we had to disassemble the desk to get it out of the room. So my new roommate is taking it apart and bringing the pieces downstairs, and only after he gets puts one of the slats down after it was pressed up against his face does he realize that the surface is covered in aged and yellowed cum.


    oooooohhhhhh, man... that fuckin sucks

  19. #79
    old school stuporfly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Did the kid not own any tube socks? Fuckin' philistine...
    Quote Originally Posted by garspaceman View Post
    well hello my fancy pants.

  20. #80
    old school whynotsmile99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    15 roommates in 3 years of college and you can bet I have enough stories of period blood, masturbating on walls, spoiled milk, dirty bathrooms and other awful horrendous shit but i'll share the story of Steve.

    Steve came into our house because we really didn't have a choice. someone had to fill the empty room and our friend had a cousin who needed a place to stay. Steve was a backwoods hillbilly redneck, the kind you only think exist in movies. Incredibly dumb. Sometimes when we would get drunk and play Halo, we all could stand Steve. 95% of the rest of the time my roommates and I could not. I wish I kept a journal during these years. So many dumb stories with this guy I could have written a book.

    One story I remember in particular was after he lived with us for about 3 months. He was slowly realizing that no one liked him and was getting home sick for Kentucky, I believe it was. I walk into the living room and he is pouting like a 4 year old. Long story short, I agree to take him to WalMart (he doesn't have a car of course) for something he says he really needs. Yea, it was pouring rain but whatever, I thought i'd help him out.

    I sit in the car and he comes out of Walmart a few minutes latter carrying a mini Civil War character action figure. something like this:

    Really, going to make me drive 10 miles in the rain to get you a toy?

    Steve later left us and we kept getting his mail. it was piling up and though we consistently called him to change his damn address already nothing changed. The mail was a grab bag mix of unpaid bills, an atrociously large library fine, unpaid traffic tickets and the big kicker...delinquent child support payments. Steve apparently had 2 little girls back home and had knocked up another woman before fleeing to California. Many months later, Steve calls me and all the other roommates leaving us a 10 minute voicemail that opening someones mail is a federal offense and to get a lawyer. I wish I still had those voicemails, they were legendy. Could have been a youtube sensation I swear.

    Obviously we never heard from Steve again
    Last edited by whynotsmile99; 03-05-2010 at 09:27 AM.
    Then I will hold you down and spit her percolations all over you until you're as greasy as the day she regrets pushing your big fat ass out her big fat cunt.

  21. #81
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    One of my roommates once went through a few week period in which he did not get out of his dirty old bathrobe, unless it was to bike to the liquor store five minutes away. He was failing his community college ART classes, so stopped going, opting instead to "make art" in the apartment. One art project involved drinking and gluing Coors lite cans together to make a pyramid. He titled it, "Beeramid," and was very proud. Another creation, made when I went away for a weekend, involved letting the trash pile up and spill out of the container onto the kitchen floor. "Spoillage." We lived next to an apartment complex that housed solely Latino's, many of whom liked to blast mariachi music during the day while working on their cars or hanging out in their kitchens. Not a problem for me and the other housemate, who left the apartment for work and school during the day--but this noise simply outraged the bathrobed artist, distracting him from his ever demanding process of drinking, gaming, and creating gritty, real life pieces. He often threatened to and sometimes did call the police to complain, but mostly he would just complain loudly for hours on end about how annoying the music had been to me and the other housemate upon our return to the apartment.

    This roommate was my boyfriend.

    12/31: Derek Plaslaiko, Dave Aju @ f8
    1/8: Tamaryn @ The Chapel
    1/28: Beacon @ The Rickshaw Stop
    1/29: Ty Segall, Wand, Cold Beat @ GAMH
    2/7: Robag Whrume, Daniel Bell, Sassmouth, The Black Madonna @ Public Works
    2/14: Sparks @ Ace Theater Hollywood

  22. #82
    old school stuporfly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Beeramid? Your boyfriend was a visionary!
    Quote Originally Posted by garspaceman View Post
    well hello my fancy pants.

  23. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by CellarOwl View Post
    I kicked my last roommate out for not having a job in 8 months and stopping payment on his side of the bills. When my friend moved in to replace him, he had to clean out some furniture from his room, some speakers, a desk, an old computer monitor, that type of stuff. Anyway, we had to disassemble the desk to get it out of the room. So my new roommate is taking it apart and bringing the pieces downstairs, and only after he gets puts one of the slats down after it was pressed up against his face does he realize that the surface is covered in aged and yellowed cum.
    In the last week alone, the roommate who replaced the one I kicked out, left the house empty and unlocked all day when he went to work, and then today, after locking the door this time, left the house locked up and empty with an open flame going, almost burning the house down by the time I got home. His desk was on fire and it started to spread near the walls by the time I got upstairs. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I need to live by myself.

  24. #84
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Holy shit. Is there any permanent damage to the house?
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  25. #85
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    It's mostly concentrated to his desk and maybe his laptop. Everything is so coated in the ammonium phospate stuff from the extinguisher that it's hard to tell, but his room otherwise seems fine.

  26. #86
    old school stuporfly's Avatar
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    Think he'll notice, or will he curl right up and go to sleep?
    Quote Originally Posted by garspaceman View Post
    well hello my fancy pants.

  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuporfly View Post
    Think he'll notice, or will he curl right up and go to sleep?
    He noticed because I called him up saying something to the effect of "There was a motherfucking fire in your room, I'm drinking all of your beer now." But if I hadn't mentioned it, he'd probably just go to sleep pissed off that I drank a case of his beer.

  28. #88
    business time tessalasset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Jewface, your roommate story made my jaw drop. That is horrifying. I wouldn't be able to sleep in my room for that last month if I were you.

    Kat - what a fucking horrible roommate. How did you last that long with her? Was it just a gradual thing then? If I had a roommate like that I'd kick her out or move out. Not worth it.

    Also, my little sister did the exact same thing with my cat. It's stupid but I got over it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    This is the equivalent of musical water boarding.

  29. #89
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    That happened to me once too but I had my cat call her cat and everything worked out in the end.

  30. #90
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roommate Stories

    Question for Kat: why have you been roommates with her for longer than one year?

    12/31: Derek Plaslaiko, Dave Aju @ f8
    1/8: Tamaryn @ The Chapel
    1/28: Beacon @ The Rickshaw Stop
    1/29: Ty Segall, Wand, Cold Beat @ GAMH
    2/7: Robag Whrume, Daniel Bell, Sassmouth, The Black Madonna @ Public Works
    2/14: Sparks @ Ace Theater Hollywood

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