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Thread: The Job Offers Thread

  1. #1
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default The Job Offers Thread

    A thread not for advice on job-seeking, but for people to actually offer up jobs to the board collective for applicants or referrals. I'll start:

    Looking for a web designer, preferably LA-based but not necessarily a requirement if you have the chops. Client is a virtual reality startup helmed by yours truly. Don't need anything too crazy quite yet, no web dev required quite yet (though if you have that in your skillset it would be a benefit as there will be some need for php/LAMP stack work down the line), just want to get an aesthetically-pleasing layout with a CMS system that I can use to easily update content, link bars, and simpler layout aspects (i.e. when we have a new client I want to be able to add another tab for them on our navigation bar and write up the text, post photos/videos easily, and add download links and new pages as needed).

    If you or anyone you know is looking for some work and they are qualified, please contact me at info at vration dot com or via PM (email preferred).
    Last edited by thelastgreatman; 08-28-2014 at 08:47 PM.
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  2. #2
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    Looking for professional cocksuckers. 10+ years of progressively more responsible positions within the industry desired, preferably in a similar capacity in two different firms. Must swallow 25+ LPD (loads per day) and be a people person. Compensation commensurate with experience. Please apply within (serious inquiries only).
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    You bitchez will all CUM-ba-ya when y'all see my pee-shooter.
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    Bump. C'mon nerds, I know some of you must be into this or have a freelancer friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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  5. #5
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    To keep this successful thread successful , I'll give it a go. Apparently everyone needs data scientists these days and so do I. Looking for 2-3 on the west coast, preferably San Diego, but LA or Seattle is good too. Still writing out job reqs, but here are some buzz words and phrases that may or may not be part of who I need:

    Market Research Analytics Scientist
    Business Intelligence Insights
    Consumer Trends & Routines
    Omni-channel Distribution

    Preferably experience or interest in analyzing retail, web, and mobile banking habits

    Phrases like this too:
    Ability to find patterns streaming from different sources, infer from those patterns, customer behavior and write statistical models to pinpoint behavioral triggers
    Correlating internal and external data points and translating findings into business value
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    I've already filled the web designer position BTW. Though if you work with Maya and can build extremely efficient 3d models, you should contact me.

  7. #7
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    I'm looking for a PT Marketing Assistant located in the Sunnyvale, CA area. Either full days T/Th, T/F, W/F or partial days T-F. Must be proficient in Microsoft Office (Outlook, Word, Excel, Powerpoint). Experience with shipping/receiving, data entry, creating POs, expense reporting. Great opportunity for college students.

  8. #8
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    Doubt it will get me any mileage posting here but why not. Dynamics CRM Architects/Developers, SharePoint Architects and Developers with the ability to obtain or already current Federal Government security clearance in Canada. If this is you, or someone you know, PM me.
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    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

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    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by AtticusGrinch View Post
    Wes, out of curiosity, what's the pay range for a job like this in your industry?
    Extremely wide. Would consider someone with just a couple years of experience as long the drive, passion, and self sufficiency is there in the ~$70-$95 range. Or one of the "unicorns" out there who not only have the data manipulation and analysis skills, but also the industry background, and ability to draw conclusions themselves and are polished enough to present to senior management for ~1.5-2X that.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Job Offers Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by AtticusGrinch View Post
    Cool. There's a lot of overlap there with my current job (although my role is more focused on taking the data analysis I do and aligning stakeholders and leadership to a directional strategy based in good data science combined with solid business opportunity) -- so it's interesting to salary benchmark cross industry. I would say our starting BI analysts are making a little more than that, but it's not too far off.
    Well, if you ever get bored, and want to chat, feel free to reach out. By "starting BI analysts", do you mean just out of school? And if so, advanced degree?
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

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