Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 33

Thread: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

  1. #1
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Rancho Retardo
    Posts
    7,287

    Default It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    This is going to be hard for me but here it goes. This morning I got a call from a friend who let me know that fellow coachella boardie and good personal friend of mine, Tim 'DRUNKOFFBREASTMILK' Rhoades had passed away at around midnight on thursday evening. He had battled a long and hard addiction to human breast milk and while it was always evident that his intake was a serious problem, we never thought that it would lead to serious health concerns down the road. It wasn't until the first week of august that he started showing signs of general weakness and fatigue, his appetite had decreased and he was becoming lethargic and hard to understand or communicate with. Through all this, he still managed to sustain a 6-quart a day breast milk habit even when his doctors implored him that he must stop if he wanted to get better. I've only known Tim for a couple years but his family told me his problem was something that had plagued him since his first divorce and that his addiction was near 30 years strong. Because of the extremely high street cost of imported Cambodian grade breastmilk which is illegal in North and South America, he lived right above the poverty level and was just able to get by on his menial job as a custodian at his local Wal-Mart while keeping his habit fulfilled, a job provided to him by the state after he was convicted of sexual assault 7 years ago. This past month, he took a turn for the worse as his body seemed to grow intolerant of anything lactose if ingested orally. Because of this, he went through 2 days of detox described as "heartbreaking & agonizing" before his doctors started administering a synthetic breastmilk solution intravenously to take the stress off of his fighting body. In the few weeks before he passed away, it seemed his health was stabilizing at a surprising rate. he was eating and able to walk around without assistance and his breastmilk intake was greatly decreased and was on a strict regimen of medication to replenish his liver and curb his cravings for breastmilk. He seemed to be clear and at peace for the first time in a good while and looked like he was taking the first steps on a road to recovery. he was discharged from the hospital one week ago today and moved in with his mother as he was getting better. on thursday afternoon, Tim met up with an old drinking friend of his at his house. His friend was a deep addict and was not only using breastmilk but was experimenting heavily with "Gorbie Globs"...a form of russian breastmilk harvested from pregnant soviet alcoholics which is then aged to ferment and formed into cakes or globules which is then smoked or injected. the strong traces of vodka and other alcohols left in the breast milk along with the fermentation process creates a lethal yet intoxicating hallucinogen that is far stronger than any pure form of liquid breastmilk available. Tim was no stranger to the stuff but was not a habitual user and it had been a good 5 years since he had been around the stuff. In a moment of weakness, he decided to "Go Toe to Toe with the Ruskies" and asked his friend for a dose. His friend cooked him up a needles full and forgot that his tolerance was far weaker than his and gave him a dose that was 3 times the normal strength given to a first time user. He passed out with the needle in his arm and never woke up. Rest In Peace Tim, you'll be sorely missed.

    1960-2009

    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  2. #2
    Lurker IBreastFeedJohnMadden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Madden Cruiser
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Is there anything I can do to help?
    Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.

  3. #3
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Rancho Retardo
    Posts
    7,287

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  4. #4
    old school MarkO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    I can hear them calling way from Oregon
    Posts
    4,591

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Funny not found.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cpt. Funkaho View Post
    Man, the Beatles were overrated like gravity is overrated. ......... Say what you want, but statements like "the Beatles were overrated" make me much less likely to listen to anything you say afterward.

  5. #5
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Rancho Retardo
    Posts
    7,287

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    show some respect fudgepacker
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  6. #6
    old school kroqken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sherman Oaks, California.
    Posts
    5,759

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Death sucks. At least Tessa is still alive.

  7. #7
    Member blackchango's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Mount Kilamanjaro
    Posts
    1,979

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Looks like you put a lot of work into this. That sucks.

  8. #8
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Palm Springs, CA
    Posts
    20,734

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    RIP - but you were very good looking.

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  9. #9
    Milkshake suprefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Burbank CA
    Posts
    43,940

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    so you killed one of your aliases, big whoop David.

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    8,220

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt
    I know it's hard, but try not to turn into GPS. It is just unfortunate for us all.

  11. #11
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Rancho Retardo
    Posts
    7,287

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Quote Originally Posted by blackchango View Post
    Looks like you put a lot of work into this. That sucks.
    Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie

    Quote Originally Posted by suprefan View Post
    so you killed one of your aliases, big whoop David.
    Kuse muuntajaan

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterGather View Post
    Siug aan my aambeie
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  12. #12
    Member blackchango's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Mount Kilamanjaro
    Posts
    1,979

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Krisnera zhazh tan vred

  13. #13
    Milkshake suprefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Burbank CA
    Posts
    43,940

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Nipples View Post
    Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie



    Kuse muuntajaan



    Siug aan my aambeie
    cloud9? And Im guessing thats klingon?

  14. #14

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Breast Milk Cheese:

    Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in making cheese from women’s breast milk. Are you imagining the milking process? Admittedly, that imagery makes me come to the conclusion that it’s an absolutely bizarre and crazy world of cheesemaking in little ole Singly, France. But, no. I think the “donors” bring their milk to the farm, or something like that.

    The cheese is produced exactly like it would be for cow’s milk and apparently tastes like it has hints of hazelnut. I still have my doubts about its existence, though. The farm says the cheese is rich in vitamins and nutrients but I don’t think these survive after being ultra-pasteurized. Also, they have an “AB” label, which is the official label for organic products. Does that mean that the women all grazed on organic?

    Anyway, you can order breast milk cheese online from le Petit Singly, if you’re interested. Will this be the next trend in the foodie world? You know, something on the menu at Thomas Keller’s The French Laundry (or Per Se), El Bulli or your un-run-of-the-mill experimental haute cuisine. I can hear the waiter now, “Your next course, course 5 out of 13 courses, is a palette cleanser consisting of deep fried fois gras marbles coated in a crispy fig and pine nut crumble. The fois gras marbles are fried in extra virgin Argan oil that was infused with 6 very rare and different herbs found only around the area surrounding Mount Kilamanjaro. The fois gras marbles sit proudly on their foundation of 5 paper-thin slices of exclusive fromage duh Fwahnce (”cheese” is too ordinary) made from FRENCH mother’s milk. (”breast milk” sounds too scary and thus, not very posh.) In between each slice of fromage is a succulent layer of organic creme fraiche, Beluga caviar, French capers and candied pecans – and the whole ensemble is lightly splashed with aged, vintage balsamic vinegar. Oh, and by the way, you must eat this dish wearing these 3D glasses to experience the full visual and culinary effect combined. Bon Appetit.”


    http://www.whytraveltofrance.com/200...ade-in-france/

    Last edited by SDsoldier7; 10-24-2009 at 09:24 PM.

  15. #15
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    15,645

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Nipples View Post
    Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie
    Kuse muuntajaan
    Siug aan my aambeie
    Yeah, what he said!
    I saw this earlier, Mr.Nips, and I wasn't sure whether to offer Sympathy Cookies, or not. Guess not, since he's dead,huh?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  16. #16
    old school Geno_g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    San Jose
    Posts
    5,430

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    It's a sad day...

  17. #17
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    15,645

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Yeah, it's too early to send cookies as a sympathy gift.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    nowhere
    Posts
    26,669

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Now that's a damn shame. R.I.P.



    Thread of the month, surely.
    7/26 Au Revoir Simone @ The Roxy, 8/1 Arcade Fire, the Unicorns, Dan Deacon at the Forum, 8/2 Burger a-Go-Go, @ Observatory, 8/9 Warpaint @ Observatory, 8/10 Warpaint @ The Ace, 8/23-24 FYF Fest, 9/11 Swans @ Roxy, 9/18 Neutral Milk Hotel @ Hollywood Bowl, 9/19 Chvrches @ Palladium, 9/30 Cibo Matto @ the Roxy, 10/9 Zola Jesus @ El Rey, 10/16 Massive Attack @ Greek Theater, 10/26 Asobi Seksu & Slowdive @ Royale

  19. #19
    Wheels Of Cheese
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Drinking Milk
    Posts
    6,969

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    No... awww... man.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Yea I think a lot of men think they are bad ass, but a 12 year old with a AK can take me out I know ...... cr****

  20. #20
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Arizzzona
    Posts
    40,845

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    I can sleep better at night now knowing he's gone.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  21. #21
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Palm Springs, CA
    Posts
    20,734

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Here's looking at you!

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  22. #22
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    8,220

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Nipples View Post
    Siug aan my aambeie
    wat
    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt
    I know it's hard, but try not to turn into GPS. It is just unfortunate for us all.

  23. #23
    Coachella Junkie Aurgasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    9,696

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    he's telling you "suck on my hemorrhoids"

    what a charmer
    Rhythm is a dancer.

  24. #24
    old school Geno_g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    San Jose
    Posts
    5,430

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Hey david did you get the invite to the family viewing, got mine yesterday, I'm gonna have to miss work but I think it's worth it...

  25. #25
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Vampire State Building
    Posts
    16,082

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    I always thought his name was Merle.

  26. #26
    old school Geno_g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    San Jose
    Posts
    5,430

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    That was his internet nickname, keep his identity safe...

  27. #27
    old school kroqken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sherman Oaks, California.
    Posts
    5,759

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    I was sadder when Bez could not get a visa and thus was not with the Happy Mondays at Coachella 2007.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    nowhere
    Posts
    26,669

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Wait, sexual assault?

    Last edited by Boourns; 10-25-2009 at 10:12 PM.
    7/26 Au Revoir Simone @ The Roxy, 8/1 Arcade Fire, the Unicorns, Dan Deacon at the Forum, 8/2 Burger a-Go-Go, @ Observatory, 8/9 Warpaint @ Observatory, 8/10 Warpaint @ The Ace, 8/23-24 FYF Fest, 9/11 Swans @ Roxy, 9/18 Neutral Milk Hotel @ Hollywood Bowl, 9/19 Chvrches @ Palladium, 9/30 Cibo Matto @ the Roxy, 10/9 Zola Jesus @ El Rey, 10/16 Massive Attack @ Greek Theater, 10/26 Asobi Seksu & Slowdive @ Royale

  29. #29
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Rancho Retardo
    Posts
    7,287

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    I always thought his name was Merle.
    thats his night name, not legal name.


    Quote Originally Posted by Geno_guerrero View Post
    Hey david did you get the invite to the family viewing, got mine yesterday, I'm gonna have to miss work but I think it's worth it...
    I did, and i will not be going, its too much right now.
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  30. #30
    business time tessalasset's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    8,978

    Default Re: It's Raining Coachella Board Members

    what's sad is i thought this thread was going to be about Ben xbnmx who actually *did* die at Coachella a few years ago, and thought Ken just decided to bump it again. but instead it's just a joke about someone dying. ok.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    This is the equivalent of musical water boarding.

Similar Threads

  1. Coachella Board Members invade Disneyland
    By ivankay in forum Misc. Lounge
    Replies: 1432
    Last Post: 05-23-2014, 09:10 PM
  2. If this board had 95,000,000 members
    By Stefinitely Maybe in forum Misc. Lounge
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 07-03-2009, 08:59 PM
  3. Replies: 54
    Last Post: 01-26-2009, 01:31 PM
  4. Members of the Board
    By nationocean in forum Music Lounge
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 12-19-2008, 11:41 AM
  5. Hey Board Members...should I or shouldn't I???
    By C DUB YA in forum Music Lounge
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 04-09-2007, 09:45 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •