It's Raining Coachella Board Members

[Mr.Nipples]

This is going to be hard for me but here it goes. This morning I got a call from a friend who let me know that fellow coachella boardie and good personal friend of mine, Tim 'DRUNKOFFBREASTMILK' Rhoades had passed away at around midnight on thursday evening. He had battled a long and hard addiction to human breast milk and while it was always evident that his intake was a serious problem, we never thought that it would lead to serious health concerns down the road. It wasn't until the first week of august that he started showing signs of general weakness and fatigue, his appetite had decreased and he was becoming lethargic and hard to understand or communicate with. Through all this, he still managed to sustain a 6-quart a day breast milk habit even when his doctors implored him that he must stop if he wanted to get better. I've only known Tim for a couple years but his family told me his problem was something that had plagued him since his first divorce and that his addiction was near 30 years strong. Because of the extremely high street cost of imported Cambodian grade breastmilk which is illegal in North and South America, he lived right above the poverty level and was just able to get by on his menial job as a custodian at his local Wal-Mart while keeping his habit fulfilled, a job provided to him by the state after he was convicted of sexual assault 7 years ago. This past month, he took a turn for the worse as his body seemed to grow intolerant of anything lactose if ingested orally. Because of this, he went through 2 days of detox described as "heartbreaking & agonizing" before his doctors started administering a synthetic breastmilk solution intravenously to take the stress off of his fighting body. In the few weeks before he passed away, it seemed his health was stabilizing at a surprising rate. he was eating and able to walk around without assistance and his breastmilk intake was greatly decreased and was on a strict regimen of medication to replenish his liver and curb his cravings for breastmilk. He seemed to be clear and at peace for the first time in a good while and looked like he was taking the first steps on a road to recovery. he was discharged from the hospital one week ago today and moved in with his mother as he was getting better. on thursday afternoon, Tim met up with an old drinking friend of his at his house. His friend was a deep addict and was not only using breastmilk but was experimenting heavily with "Gorbie Globs"...a form of russian breastmilk harvested from pregnant soviet alcoholics which is then aged to ferment and formed into cakes or globules which is then smoked or injected. the strong traces of vodka and other alcohols left in the breast milk along with the fermentation process creates a lethal yet intoxicating hallucinogen that is far stronger than any pure form of liquid breastmilk available. Tim was no stranger to the stuff but was not a habitual user and it had been a good 5 years since he had been around the stuff. In a moment of weakness, he decided to "Go Toe to Toe with the Ruskies" and asked his friend for a dose. His friend cooked him up a needles full and forgot that his tolerance was far weaker than his and gave him a dose that was 3 times the normal strength given to a first time user. He passed out with the needle in his arm and never woke up. Rest In Peace Tim, you'll be sorely missed.

1960-2009

[IBreastFeedJohnMadden]

Is there anything I can do to help?

[Mr.Nipples]

[MarkO]

Funny not found.

[Mr.Nipples]

show some respect fudgepacker

[kroqken]

Death sucks. At least Tessa is still alive.

[blackchango]

Looks like you put a lot of work into this. That sucks.

[gaypalmsprings]

RIP - but you were very good looking.

[suprefan]

so you killed one of your aliases, big whoop David.

[HunterGather]

[Mr.Nipples]

Looks like you put a lot of work into this. That sucks.

Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie

so you killed one of your aliases, big whoop David.

Kuse muuntajaan

Siug aan my aambeie

[blackchango]

Krisnera zhazh tan vred

[suprefan]

Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie



Kuse muuntajaan



Siug aan my aambeie

cloud9? And Im guessing thats klingon?

[SDsoldier7]

Breast Milk Cheese:

Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in making cheese from women’s breast milk. Are you imagining the milking process? Admittedly, that imagery makes me come to the conclusion that it’s an absolutely bizarre and crazy world of cheesemaking in little ole Singly, France. But, no. I think the “donors” bring their milk to the farm, or something like that.

The cheese is produced exactly like it would be for cow’s milk and apparently tastes like it has hints of hazelnut. I still have my doubts about its existence, though. The farm says the cheese is rich in vitamins and nutrients but I don’t think these survive after being ultra-pasteurized. Also, they have an “AB” label, which is the official label for organic products. Does that mean that the women all grazed on organic?

Anyway, you can order breast milk cheese online from le Petit Singly, if you’re interested. Will this be the next trend in the foodie world? You know, something on the menu at Thomas Keller’s The French Laundry (or Per Se), El Bulli or your un-run-of-the-mill experimental haute cuisine. I can hear the waiter now, “Your next course, course 5 out of 13 courses, is a palette cleanser consisting of deep fried fois gras marbles coated in a crispy fig and pine nut crumble. The fois gras marbles are fried in extra virgin Argan oil that was infused with 6 very rare and different herbs found only around the area surrounding Mount Kilamanjaro. The fois gras marbles sit proudly on their foundation of 5 paper-thin slices of exclusive fromage duh Fwahnce (”cheese” is too ordinary) made from FRENCH mother’s milk. (”breast milk” sounds too scary and thus, not very posh.) In between each slice of fromage is a succulent layer of organic creme fraiche, Beluga caviar, French capers and candied pecans – and the whole ensemble is lightly splashed with aged, vintage balsamic vinegar. Oh, and by the way, you must eat this dish wearing these 3D glasses to experience the full visual and culinary effect combined. Bon Appetit.”

http://www.whytraveltofrance.com/200...ade-in-france/

[BROKENDOLL]

Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie
Kuse muuntajaan
Siug aan my aambeie

Yeah, what he said!
I saw this earlier, Mr.Nips, and I wasn't sure whether to offer Sympathy Cookies, or not. Guess not, since he's dead,huh?

[Geno_g]

It's a sad day...

[BROKENDOLL]

Yeah, it's too early to send cookies as a sympathy gift.

[Boourns]

Now that's a damn shame. R.I.P.



Thread of the month, surely.

[Still-ill]

No... awww... man.

[amyzzz]

I can sleep better at night now knowing he's gone.

[gaypalmsprings]

Here's looking at you!

[HunterGather]

Siug aan my aambeie

wat

[Aurgasm]

he's telling you "suck on my hemorrhoids"

what a charmer

[Geno_g]

Hey david did you get the invite to the family viewing, got mine yesterday, I'm gonna have to miss work but I think it's worth it...

[SoulDischarge]

I always thought his name was Merle.

[Geno_g]

That was his internet nickname, keep his identity safe...

[kroqken]

I was sadder when Bez could not get a visa and thus was not with the Happy Mondays at Coachella 2007.

[Boourns]

Wait, sexual assault?

[Mr.Nipples]

I always thought his name was Merle.

thats his night name, not legal name.

Hey david did you get the invite to the family viewing, got mine yesterday, I'm gonna have to miss work but I think it's worth it...

I did, and i will not be going, its too much right now.

[tessalasset]

what's sad is i thought this thread was going to be about Ben xbnmx who actually *did* die at Coachella a few years ago, and thought Ken just decided to bump it again. but instead it's just a joke about someone dying. ok.