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Thread: @California

  1. #1
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default @California

    leaving u for a smarter coast, bbn (be back never).



    In all seriousness though, I guess if nothing else I can say the four years I've spent in your slow-driving, slow-talking, slow-thinking clusterfuck of useless shitbrains were worth it just because it brought me and Coachella together. Came out of it with a good lady on my arm but I don't think California should get credit for another state's poontang.

    Living in Los Angeles was like a long-term relationship with a girl who has what appears to be nice tits with her clothes on and you're out partying, but really she had a boob job botched so badly that it looks like someone performed an emergency mastectomy on her with a pair of safety scissors. And every night you look at her shirt and think that maybe it'll be different tonight. Maybe tonight she'll take off her bra and they'll be real and normal and you'll finally get to suck and fondle them with pleasure.

    But no matter how long you stay with her in the hopes that it'll change, Los Angeles will always shove wonky tits in your face at day's end. And it does it without a hint of shame or self-consciousness. Los Angeles could have a duo of Quato heads in its bra and it would act like there's something wrong with you for making a big deal out of it.

    I'll be back for your Coachellas and EDCs. That is all.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie shakermaker113's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    bye randy.

  3. #3
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Bye randy, have a safe trip.

    Although, I would love to live in LA and would be happy with the botched boob job it it meant I got the beach, the partys and the people.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  4. #4
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Safe drive, and enjoy the east coast.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  5. #5
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California



    seriously, get your ass over here already <3
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  6. #6
    Beefy Soft Taco TommyboyUNM's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Have a safe drive and I hope you enjoy the ummm beautiful stretch of I-40 that you'll encounter in a while. Though it'll be somewhat dark, so that's good.

    See ya.

    Soon.

  7. #7
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Don't blame you
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I think the safest course is to assume everyone is a fucking nightmare and proceed from there.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie luckyface's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Wait, Randy didn't like California? This is news to me. Maybe another three threads about it would help me get the picture.
    For your health

  9. #9
    Wheelchair Epidemic hawkingvsreeve's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    +5 for the Total Recall reference.
    Quote Originally Posted by obzen View Post
    Giant. Fucking. Bjork. Buttons.
    last.fm

  10. #10
    Judgy McMarco TeamCoachellaHellYeah's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    leaving u for a smarter coast, bbn (be back never).



    In all seriousness though, I guess if nothing else I can say the four years I've spent in your slow-driving, slow-talking, slow-thinking clusterfuck of useless shitbrains were worth it just because it brought me and Coachella together. Came out of it with a good lady on my arm but I don't think California should get credit for another state's poontang.

    Living in Los Angeles was like a long-term relationship with a girl who has what appears to be nice tits with her clothes on and you're out partying, but really she had a boob job botched so badly that it looks like someone performed an emergency mastectomy on her with a pair of safety scissors. And every night you look at her shirt and think that maybe it'll be different tonight. Maybe tonight she'll take off her bra and they'll be real and normal and you'll finally get to suck and fondle them with pleasure.

    But no matter how long you stay with her in the hopes that it'll change, Los Angeles will always shove wonky tits in your face at day's end. And it does it without a hint of shame or self-consciousness. Los Angeles could have a duo of Quato heads in its bra and it would act like there's something wrong with you for making a big deal out of it.

    I'll be back for your Coachellas and EDCs. That is all.
    It sounds like you're judging California based solely on Los Angeles. I thought you were smarter then that Randy.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Reviewers who note the size of the crowd are dumb fucks.
    COACHELLA's: 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014.

  11. #11
    Member biggfoot17's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    I've found that east coasters hate Cali, and vice versa
    Quote Originally Posted by morelifefucker View Post
    The drugs dont work as well on sunday as they worked on friday.

  12. #12
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamCoachellaHellYeah View Post
    It sounds like you're judging California based solely on Los Angeles. I thought you were smarter then that Randy.
    Do you really want to hear what Randy thinks of Bakersfield?

  13. #13
    Judgy McMarco TeamCoachellaHellYeah's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    I understand them both. But I tend to have multiple personalities.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Reviewers who note the size of the crowd are dumb fucks.
    COACHELLA's: 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014.

  14. #14
    Judgy McMarco TeamCoachellaHellYeah's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    Do you really want to hear what Randy thinks of Bakersfield?
    No, but San Francisco? Eureka? San Diego? Santa Barbara? Palm Springs? That's like saying Albany or The Bronx represents all of New York. Or Atlantic City represents New Jersey.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Reviewers who note the size of the crowd are dumb fucks.
    COACHELLA's: 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014.

  15. #15
    Member paganman7's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    I'm moving to California early next year: the good part. I'm not fucking around with that nonsense below San Jose.

    Look at me, I'm not even there yet, and I'm already a NorCal snob.
    Quote Originally Posted by rage patton View Post
    I swear to god. Harrison Ford better not be fucking dead.

  16. #16
    old school JebusLives's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    That was relatively hilarious; well done.
    Quote Originally Posted by juloxx View Post
    Your stupid

  17. #17
    Member biggfoot17's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by paganman7 View Post
    Look at me, I'm not even there yet, and I'm already a NorCal snob.
    Its ok, we're SoCal snobs
    Quote Originally Posted by morelifefucker View Post
    The drugs dont work as well on sunday as they worked on friday.

  18. #18
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    San Diego is where the two worst people I encountered in my time on this coast were from. San Francisco seems less lame than Los Angeles but on the other hand it seems to have ruined my brother. Santa Barbara? Palm Springs? Who the fuck wants to live in old folks' retirement destinations? Yeah, you're right, I'm not being fair to all the parts of California that have even less shit to do in them than LA.

    What about Manhattan Beach? Hermosa Beach? Have you ever been to Santa Fe Springs? Would you like to hear an endless string of towns in California you could throw out and say, "THIS one could be different too. Or THIS one. Altamont! Berkeley! Chino! Moorpark! Sacramento! Can't judge a state til you've been to its capitol! NAPA!"
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  19. #19
    Beefy Soft Taco TommyboyUNM's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Yorba Linda. Yucaipa. Huntington Park. Irvine. Livermore. Oxnard.


    I like this game.

  20. #20
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Travel safe and best of luck back east.

  21. #21
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Alright, heading for the car now. I'll be back to describe the miraculous circumstances of how upon crossing the border out of this state I was shocked to see that in fact California is encased in an invisible dumbshit-retension shield, a la the planet with air in Spaceballs. Except instead of keeping air in, it reflects and magnifies any particles of dumb shit back down into the state ecosystem. In another two years California will be using 100 percent renewable morons.

    It will also be 90 percent homosexual but still somehow get fucked out of the right to own ponies by a Mormon conspiracy.

    Thank you folks, I be here all da week, please tip your servers.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  22. #22
    old school Geno_g's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Have fun in Jersey, you left the best coast...

  23. #23
    Coachella Junkie BlackSwan's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Are you at least moving to New York this time? New Jersey is one big shithole.

  24. #24
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by Geno_guerrero View Post
    Have fun in Jersey, you left the best coast...
    WE ARE THE BEST COAST ALL THE OTHERS SUCK!
    CALIFORNIA'S THE BEST! RAH RAH FUCK!
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  25. #25
    old school Geno_g's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    WE ARE THE BEST COAST ALL THE OTHERS SUCK!
    CALIFORNIA'S THE BEST! RAH RAH FUCK!
    Go fuck a Saguaro cactus...

  26. #26
    old school
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    Default Re: @California

    i don't blame you, wang. i would never have been able to live in the valley either.

    maybe some day when you have a ton of money you can experience los angeles.

    drive safe, ivy.
    Lick an orange, it tastes like an orange. Lick a pineapple, it tastes like a pineapple. Go ahead, try it. Try some more. The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries! We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. Come along, come along.

  27. #27
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    have a safe drive. i don't have the nerve to sit in a car for several days.
    last.fm
    4/5/14 - Trentemoller - Fonda // 4/9/14 - The Knife - Fox Theater Pomona // 4/22/14 - Dillinger Escape Plane - Glasshouse// 5/23/14 - 5/26/14 Punk Rock Bowling - Las Vegas
    5/28/14 - Elbow - Wiltern // 7/9/14 - Cloud Nothings - Roxy // 8/25/14 - Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl


    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    Comments about she left the movie feeling bad and she one of those girls that fuck in the ass to saving her Vagina intercourse for marriage.

  28. #28
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSwan View Post
    New Jersey is one big shithole.




    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  29. #29
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    Quote Originally Posted by ShyGuy75 View Post
    drive safe, ivy.
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, well played.

    i can tell you that i will be spending most of the drive reading my textbooks for my addiction class starting next month. how hilarious is that?!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  30. #30
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: @California

    San Francisco is a cesspool. Well, parts of it. But I still go there.

    And while I don't hate the west coast, I like the peopl on the east more.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

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