The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

A FB Friend's post from this week. He is always posting random stuff which is sometimes funny and sometimes painful.
"What would you do if two of your Facebook friends that you'd always assumed had never met before (say for example your sister's best friends university and some guy you knew for six months when you delivered pizza in 1991) were saying mad, obsessive love-type stuff to each other on Facebook. Would that bother you? Also, say, they never met in person and were only able to produce these mad feelings
of ardour when you were on FB too and they therefore texted each other to go on FB when you were on FB, so they could commence with their romantic promises/spillings/hot talk. Would it bother you? Say for example this behaviour had been going on for 5 years and you just found out about it today. Would that bother you? Why? Also, you found out they were very respectful to each other during their hot talk sessions enabled by you. They were very monogamous and only said nice things. How would you react to that?"

Maybe your friend should look up the meaning of the phrase "mind your own god damn business."

[Mugwog]

A FB Friend's post from this week. He is always posting random stuff which is sometimes funny and sometimes painful.
"What would you do if two of your Facebook friends that you'd always assumed had never met before (say for example your sister's best friends university and some guy you knew for six months when you delivered pizza in 1991) were saying mad, obsessive love-type stuff to each other on Facebook. Would that bother you? Also, say, they never met in person and were only able to produce these mad feelings
of ardour when you were on FB too and they therefore texted each other to go on FB when you were on FB, so they could commence with their romantic promises/spillings/hot talk. Would it bother you? Say for example this behaviour had been going on for 5 years and you just found out about it today. Would that bother you? Why? Also, you found out they were very respectful to each other during their hot talk sessions enabled by you. They were very monogamous and only said nice things. How would you react to that?"

I didn't even know you could put that many characters into a status update.

[algunz]

[cutterbutter]

lol

The Master sucked! Don't waste your $$$$$. Go see Finding Nemo instead.

[betao]

well, Gunz techincally did re-post that.

[captncrzy]

I like to call this guy "The Bullet I Dodged":

Making fun of Eastwood is just anti American! The haters; why don't you just slap grandma in the face! And as the "Man" say's-"Everyone has an opinion, they're just like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink!" Thank you for making my day Mr. Eastwood!!!!!!!

[betao]

i love election season. and by love, i mean hate.

so we are pretty much on the brink of world war 3 and all most of you seem to care about is abortion, birth control, gay rights, and other irrelevant left wing problems that have been set up by the dems to distract everyone from whats going on in the middle east. dude this shit is scary. if iran bombs Israel we are going to be the next to go. do you really think birth control and abortion and gay rights are what should be on our top priority right now as a nation? because um.. if iran bombs everyone there wont be anything left at all.. we will all be dead... just saying... and i am really starting to think that this election is going to be rigged so that obama can stay in power and to be honest i am starting to think that he is going to be in power for a very very long time.. this shit is starting to get really scary yall.

[BlacEfron]

Meet Krista:

"We have a celebrity for a President, not a diplomat. When is this man going to do something about what's going on? Following his track record, he will do nothing. He'll continue to go on late night talk shows and golf. I don't understand how anyone in good conscience can vote for him. If you are, by all means, explain this to me. Why are you voting for him?"


EVERYDAY.

[betao]

Holy shit. The person who I posted just before you is also named Krista.

Damn you, Kristas.

[JiggyVdub]

sometimes you just have to get your inner preschooler out?

I am a number 2 06+1+1+1+9+9+2=1+1=2
Posted 1 minute ago

o.0

[Mugwog]

Made me chuckle...

If you give him your cornbread you gone be clipping his toe nails and washing his draws...

My friend is on a random one today...

They got me for my daddies watch. F that cheap ass watch. My bad. The next time you talk about my daddies watch I'm dive on you. In fact don't say watch around me say little clock or some sh!t.if you even fix your mouth up to say watch I'm knock your whole fronts out you gone be whistling back hom

Remember I got your girl them alligator shoes b!+ch was wearing pig skin when I met her got her out the swine....thank you brother how do I look...

You still got that $2.. Yeah while you was upstairs doing gods work I was getting jack and bootleg by one of these waitress and one of these farmers...THEY BEAT ME DOWN TO MY SOCKS!!-ray Gibson

[BlacEfron]

Holy shit. The person who I posted just before you is also named Krista.

Damn you, Kristas.

I'd literally rather read all of this other girl's musings and overshares about her (now post-) pregnancy. Here's a sample from Caitlin:

"OMG I didn't expect this to be SO painful.. FML why don't they make a pill that will instantly dry up milk!!!!!!!!"

[unit300021]

I got this earlier today, which is surprising because this guy never has posted anything of the sort, and then he drops this bombshell. I can't wait til elections are over.

Respect the Office? Yes.

Respect the Man in the Office? No, I am sorry to say.

I have noted that many elected officials, both Democrats and Republicans, called upon America to unite behind Obama.

Well, I want to make it clear to all who will listen that I AM NOT uniting behind Obama!

I will respect the Office which he holds, and I will acknowledge his abilities as an orator and wordsmith and pray for him, BUT that is it.

I have begun today to see what I can do to make sure that he is a one-term President!

Why am I doing this?

It is because:

- I do not share Obama's vision or value system for America;

- I do not share his Abortion beliefs;

- I do not share his radical Marxist's concept of re-distributing wealth;

- I do not share his stated views on raising taxes on those who make$150,000+ (the ceiling has been changed three times since August);

- I do not share his view that America is Arrogant;

- I do not share his view that America is not a Christian Nation;

- I do not share his view that the military should be reduced by 25%;

- I do not share his view of amnesty and giving more to illegals than our American Citizens who need help;

- I do not share his views on homosexuality and his definition of marriage;

- I do not share his views that Radical Islam is our friend and Israel is our enemy who should give up any land;

- I do not share his spiritual beliefs (at least the ones he has made public);

- I do not share his beliefs on how to re-work the healthcare system in America;

- I do not share his Strategic views of the Middle East; and

- I certainly do not share his plan to sit down with terrorist regimes such as Iran.

Bottom line: my America is vastly different from Obama's, and I have a higher obligation to my Country and my GOD to do what is Right!

For eight (8) years, the Liberals in our Society, led by numerous entertainers who would have no platform and no real credibility but for their celebrity status, have attacked President Bush, his family, and his spiritual beliefs!

They have not moved toward the center in their beliefs and their philosophies, and they never came together nor compromised their personal beliefs for the betterment of our Country!

They have portrayed my America as a land where everything is tolerated except being intolerant!

They have been a vocal and irreverent minority for years!

They have mocked and attacked the very core values so important to the founding and growth of our Country!

They have made every effort to remove the name of GOD or Jesus Christ from our Society!

They have challenged capital punishment, the right to bear firearms, and the most basic principles of our criminal code!

They have attacked one of the most fundamental of all Freedoms, the right of free speech!

Unite behind Obama? Never!

I am sure many of you who read this think that I am going overboard, but I refuse to retreat one more inch in favor of those whom I believe are the embodiment of Evil!

PRESIDENT BUSH made many mistakes during his Presidency, and I am not sure how history will judge him. However, I believe that he weighed his decisions in light of the long established Judeo-Christian principles of our Founding Fathers!!!

Majority rules in America, and I will honor the concept; however, I will fight with all of my power to be a voice in opposition to Obama and his "goals for America ..."

I am going to be a thorn in the side of those who, if left unchecked, will destroy our Country! Any more compromise is more defeat!

I pray that the results of this election will wake up many who have sat on the sidelines and allowed the Socialist-Marxist anti-GOD crowd to slowly change so much of what has been good in America!

GOD bless you and GOD bless our Country!

[nathanfairchild]

Why do so many people believe this!?

I got this earlier today, which is surprising because this guy never has posted anything of the sort, and then he drops this bombshell. I can't wait til elections are over.

the long established Judeo-Christian principles of our Founding Fathers!!!

[fetuspiniata]

Holly Shit Chinese generals r preparing for combat with Japan and Libya is launching Russian subs in the golf! Shits bout to hit the fan! Obama is going to the leterman show though then a jay z fund raiser. No big deal.

lol

[PlayaDelWes]

lol

[zircona1]

Holly shit, indeed.

[heart cooks brain]

[TomAz]

Why do so many people believe this!?

but that ranks about 49th out of the 50 stupid things that guy said.

[amyzzz]

I'm glad none of my fb friends post pro-republican stuff.

[fetuspiniata]

So we got Russians taking to the streets talking about they don't want putin in power no more, China and Japan are fighting over some islands they both say they own, the whole Middle East is blowing up out of control with our ambassador and other Americans getting killed all over the place our president apologizing for everything, we have Nato forming a huge Armada blocking of the Strait of hormuz because Iran is playing war games in that region, Israel is about to make a much needed preemptive strike starting a war with Iran. Shit is going down in a serious way all around the world and Obamas dumb ass still doesn't understand y people cling to our guns n Bibles. BTW I read once in a big book somewhere this was all going to happen. seriously it's crazy how fast things are spinning out of control

same guy!

[SmellyBath]

"Feeling intimately connected to the universal collective effervescence today, the air around me is breathing inspiration!! So much love for all you beautiful souls! ♥"

[ENluv12]

wow

[Mugwog]

"Feeling intimately connected to the universal collective effervescence today, the air around me is breathing inspiration!! So much love for all you beautiful souls! ♥"

Compared to all of the political crap etc on facebook, that's really not that bad.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

I feel like all these political posts are just people's feeble attempt at grasping at low-hanging fruit.
It amps up the people that agree with them, and enrages the people that disagree with them.

Can't people think of something else clever to say that doesn't involve calling Romney an idiot, or calling Obama a socialist? Jesus.

[gazercmh]

Today a FB friend posted that she loves LL Cool J.

One of her friends posted a comment of "He seems great!"

I like that she felt the need to be conditional about his greatness. You know, in case we find out someday that it's just a front.

[unit300021]

The same person from my last post decided to talk about Jesus today.

I have to be completely honest right now to anyone and everyone who sees this... I am in tears. I am soo broken and empty and stuck in worry. I really don't have many more "clever" words of wisdom to say, or anymore "ideal christian moraled quotes" to regurgitate over the next 20 years... The simple truth is this... Jesus died for us, HE alone was perfect and did not deserve the humility and pain of His death. We DID. It breaks my heart, everyday freakin' day, knowing that when I sin that it is actually me holding the nail and the hammer that is nailing my/ OUR LORD JESUS to the cross. And for my final statement. I surrender to Jesus as a friend, as a son, as a slave and as anything He desires of me. Many of you have made fun of others and myself, especially because you've thought of it as funny when Christians backslide when they are just trying their best to serve Jesus in this sick and nasty filth of a planet. But I tell you all that we don't need one friend on this earth nor do I longer care to harm myself and fall farther away from Jesus by trying to plant and water another wasted seed. Either you are in or you are out. Let you soul decide. That is all I have to say. This message may be ignored , but when The Almighty King Lord Jesus returns, He will have all of our attention. It will be a Great and Terrible day.

[Mugwog]

I usually scroll past anything longer than 4 sentences.

[ThatGirl]

Another gem from the same person I posted about last week.

"is a ribald Sade number sung by an impotent Bob Saget."

[Mr. Dylanja]

Anybody else going to see Paul Oakenfold tonight?

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