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Thread: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

  1. #6001
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Which character from Manimal are you?
    ...and so on
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  2. #6002
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    http://bringsonyahome.com/












    It's not annoying, but I just don't know what to think.

  3. #6003
    foof roberto73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    i like light when it skirts the edges of my four courners, makes the glasses sing vermeer, and the pizza box from last night's oscar party cast puppet shapes on the floor. askance, askew, animated. reflected refracted. silhouettes and shadows. flickers, shimmers, silvers, slivers, shards and sparks. glints and glances glimmers and glows. iluminating.

    in middle school science class i snorted an adolescent haughty laugh at a film strip voice that asked What Is Light? even then i could tell that some people ask dumb questions to avoid facing the deeper ones, the ones that at that age i had only just begun to feel: What the Fuck is Any of This?

    last night for about a half an hour, after the oscars and their own constellation of stars, i sat in the darkness of my room, on my raft of a bed, and talked with my best buddy about the way light is both a particle and a wave. something about the disembodiment of two voices that love each other speaking from two ends of this continent, in the total dark, the way i sometimes do with lovers or used to do during sleepovers with friends, that feels so incredibly intimate and timeless because although you know they are laying next to you their voices feel far away. the drifty feeling of dusky, disembodied connection. the kind that i think people get when that look up at real stars in the night sky. horror and wonder and awe at once. proximity and distance at once. gut full of pizza and a sense of significance when jon and i were talking about Light. and how if you look at it as a wave, it behaves as one. if you come at it like a particle, thats what you get.

    i think im too winter-logged, withdrawn and seasonally affected to see the forces of the world as benevolent. but i'm a mammal in this hovel, and my hibernating heart is too wise to see any real insidiousness in the way lives are bent by bigger forces. and so when light gives you what you expect to see in it, i dont think of it as tricky or playful or even misunderstood. i dont poke two fingers into it and give it cartoon eyes. but i also know better than to ask What is Light in a mock reverent tone. i don't want to make miracles into zingers from a cartoon christ. i don't want to insult god's magnificence by only saying thank you when i get shiny golden tchotchkes. let the stars thank the stars and collect their gold stars in their gowns. let the scientists split open atoms to neutrinos and then split those and discover we are all matroska shells of emptiness and super dense stardust. we all have our ways of making peace with mysteries and miracles and bigger forces. i just keep saying Amen Let it Be.

    amen, hebrew, meaning So Be It meaning Thy Will BE Done meaning Thank You meaning Let it Be. and the difference between letting things go and letting them Be is the difference between mourning and appreciation.

    What is Light?

    snort.

    let's let it be.

    and as for you, danny:

    you're the nominee and the judge. the audience to your art. best supporting supported.

    youre an artist, a feeler, a soul in a body that fears dissolution even as it craves the connection that comes with unbounding, unbinding, and spilling out over your edges.

    youre the subatomic heat and buzz of atoms on the fringe of your skin, dancing in dynamic exchange and equilibrium with the air along your pores, heated and swirling by a haphazard shaft of light as it lands on your forearm in winter in brooklyn in america in the world in 2014 in the midst of eternity. for surely eternity must also hold forgotten and everyday moments like these, must be the scientific and the felt context for even calendar days.

    if so,

    right now,

    youre a particle that knows it's a wave.
    Quote Originally Posted by Riggins33 View Post
    Hey rubber toe, it's a message board not a English essay. NERD

  4. #6004
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Ha. I'll bet he has never done drugs.

  5. #6005
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    ........

    the reason venus rotates slowly and backwards is because mercury was actually the moon of venus. The sun slowly pulled mercury out of the grip of venus due to the highly elliptical orbits of venus around the sun and mercury around venus. When mercury was at its furthest point from venus and when Venus was at its closest point to the sun the Sun's Gravity began working its magic and lengthened the distance of Mercury from venus and over millions of years the Moon mercury eventually got so far out of the orbit of venus that the sun took the control of it and pulled it away from Venus in a lagging type effect thus stopping venus's Counter clockwise rotation and causing it to get thrown into a reverse rotation and the lasso effect that mercury's far out orbit with venus had on the planet venus literally caused it to be thrown into the now almost perfectly circular orbit that it has. Meaning when mercury got to a certain distance away the gravity pulling on mercury from venus was almost expressed equally by both objects and thus they orbited around eachother causing venus to find a new place in space that is no longer elliptical but circular and also a reverse spin and slow one at that. This is the actual truth to why Venus is the way it is. I know this for an absolute fact. Just trust me on this.
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  6. #6006
    Coachella Junkie greghead's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    How did Ann Frank get a ball-point pen to write her diary 12 years before they were invented?

    Her diary, as you probably know, was central to our understanding of how bad the Holocaust was. So, it begs the question. Was it really all that bad? I never saw a list of 6 million, names or unidentified remains found. Hundreds of thousands, sure, but not millions upon millions. Just saying.
    Found this little gem today.
    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
    I'm still waiting for Jack White to finally admit that he invented the guitar.

  7. #6007
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    I really like that Facebook lets us block specific content sites from our feed. I haven't even blocked that many and my feed is already so much better.

    It only works for your news feed, though, so you can still view the profile of whoever and see what shit they post.
    Last edited by mountmccabe; 03-06-2014 at 05:12 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    See how wrong you are, Tommy? Randy is agreeing with you.

  8. #6008
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Quote Originally Posted by greghead View Post
    Found this little gem today.
    "was it really that bad?"
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  9. #6009
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Quote Originally Posted by greghead View Post
    Found this little gem today.
    what the actual fuck?
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  10. #6010
    Member gazercmh's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    One of my FB friends recently got her first copy of Photoshop and has been using what I'm guessing is the blur tool to smooth out faces on every picture she posts of herself -- and her two very young daughters. It's one thing to be vain and want to touch up a photo of yourself in hopes of looking younger/better, but Photoshopping pictures of a 2-year-old and an infant? Nevermind that she's not very good with Photoshop and the results are that it kind of looks like she and her daughters are wearing masks...

  11. #6011
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    ....laying on my bed, thinking about the holocaust.

  12. #6012
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    ....laying on my bed, thinking about the holocaust.
    omg that was the best episode of loveline ever
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  13. #6013
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    I can't believe how hard I laughed about that shit. I have a recording somewhere, every time I come across it the wife and I lose our minds.

    side note: been together a little while now.

  14. #6014
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Quote Originally Posted by nathanfairchild View Post
    ........
    If Mercury got so close to the Sun that it was pulled away from Venus, from its spot as its moon, wouldn't it remain on that course and crash into the Sun?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  15. #6015
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Not one specific status but this guy on my friends list got married tonight and now he is posting pictures from the reception like every 5 minutes or so. It's like holy shit dude you are at your own wedding stay the fuck off of Facebook.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  16. #6016
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    His wedding must suck boring ass.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  17. #6017
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    From the same guy who posts ridiculous shit all the time:

    Anyway, (wife) and I had an interesting conversation about super heroes and archetypes and Paganism and police states. (Son) is enamored of Batman recently, having gotten a pair of Batman boots from the thrift store (the only ones in his size). But then I started thinking of this after seeing someone, (name), remind me that Batman plays the role of a cop—that's not something I want my son imitating or looking up to. It's rife with problematic themes and realities.

    I didn't grow up reading comics, but I am aware of a favorite author of mine, Alan Moore—who is an anarchist and occultist—re-framed the series of Batman as vigilante and outcast. But the imagery and content is too much for (son) currently. I thought I'd bring this to FB....
    This is why people hate liberals so much.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  18. #6018
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Batman plays the role of a private detective. What a waste!
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  19. #6019
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    This is the latest in a classic set of rambling rants.....
    I ###'d a couple of names to protect the innocent(?)...
    ============================================

    Hey Christina, since you were so diligent about sending pictures of my Dick I am going to sent all of your tribe new pictures you dumb idiot and you wonder why only one third tier law school wanted your money to attend and I'm sure they couldn't wait until you went on academic probation so your father could foot the cash bill so you could continue. I can't wait until the day the state bar calls me or some other agency so I can show them proof of your moral character, I know Hun let me slow down it means the characteristics that define you as a person and since you are a Shitty one you probably will lose some credibility because my evidence is on paper and in your writing who would ever elect a meth using whore / swinger host over a normal person??? I know you lied and put me in jail to ruin any voice I had but as in the very wise words of Happy Gilmore " The Price is Wrong Bitch" I have your words in your email lol and you didn't take them lol what kind of dumb whore does that lol oh yeah a meth one hmmm wonder if you were paid in dollars or meth ...guess it doesn't matter as long as your full right, here is a tissue its leaking out your nose I think your full its cumming out your nose ms. Cum recepticle. Congratulatpions, I never thought of you as a whore and or a cum buckuet not even when you were a striper hooked I believed in you and stopped you from killing yourself (we all make mistakes) not even when I mourned with you for a month during what I thought was our miscarriage I am sure only you know who the father is but probably not since there was always someone else in that poluted pussy can you blame the kid it wasn't a miscarriage it was a suiside because you would have been the mother you sick Fuck. I hope the person that has all the antiques and things lol is enjoying them you should have never abandoned those things. Did you expect me to hold things that had a whores energy? Did u think I would be so stupid as to go to traceable pawn shops you dumb ass I would melt that shit down or pick out the diamonds and move them to my friends in Bawston you dumb ass wantabe intelligent cum bucket keep listening to the guys around you its working they wait until you have a bad time then pretend to be the opposite so you take it in the ass and suck it afterwards like your boss William #### from the green project or Ryan #### Blake #### a couple more from university of la send law school. I'll be sure and get the names right on the next one because I am sure you don't remember them its all about the number on the ticket or the call NEXT. You accuse me of rape do you not remember your gangbang fantasies all you wanted were strangers to fill u up like that group of swingers you joined where you didn't want to know their name seems like a reverse cheers to me I bet they remembered your name or was it April like at Cr### where you worked or the full nude place where you were supposedly rapped but then a year or so decided to lie to me about deutsche in aneheim and go back to the place that rapped you or you were rapped or the scene of the crime??? That's your m.o. you probably were paid for a naked lap dance and were rejected and cried rape when he wanted a refund; can't give back herpes could you. But hell that's one way a guy will never forget your name.

  20. #6020
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    What a rant ^
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  21. #6021
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    I guess I've been ignorant all these years to the intolerance and discrimination that the glutan-free live with every day.
    Alrighty friends, I don't rant almost ever, but buckle up. Here's the deal:

    I am gluten sensitive. Yes, I have been to the doctor. And yes, it was a 'real doctor'. No, according to the blood work, I am not a celiac.
    I have spent two years battling stomach problems. Horrible cramping, bloating, you name it. Bad skin, season allergies, wicked hangovers, moodiness, muscle cramping, dark circles under my eyes. I finally went all in and cut out gluten. Like, for realsies. Game changer. I'm not doing this to lose weight, I'm not 'fad dieting'. I'm trying to feel good. And I'm a little tired of everyone telling me how gluten-free diets are fake or are actually bad for me. No. They might be bad for you, but you and me, see, we're different. And for me, it's a godsend. And, honestly, for the people around me, too. Ask my cynical co-worker Patrick, I'm sure he wishes he could lie about it. Do I wish that people didn't cause a huge stink at restaurants about it? Yes. I own a few, and it's a pain in the ass. When I go out I figure, it's my problem, not the restaurants, and I own it. But everyone who treats me like I'm some crazy drama queen who is fabricating this 'condition' for attention can suck it. I can get attention in way more interesting ways than this. Point is, those of you who can maintain a more standard diet and feel good, kudos. I miss bread a lot and my life is challenging because I have made this choice for myself. Your condescending attitude doesn't help.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  22. #6022
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    She owns a few restaurants? Is cynical Patrick the co-owner?

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  23. #6023
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    And why is it legal for a man to walk around with his flappy tits out but not for women? Why are we forced to feel ashamed of ourselves. Our tits fed you gross bastards
    SING IT SISTER

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  24. #6024
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Moar Kraftwerk in my newzfeed pls
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  25. #6025
    Coachella Junkie rage patton's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    She owns a few restaurants? Is cynical Patrick the co-owner?
    Psh. You think Wes would be friends with someone who eats at a restaurant? No no. Only friends with owners. Several, nonetheless.

    Cynical Patrick is clearly a lowly cook. Wes' friend doesn't have Cynical Patrick as one of her Facebook friends, because he doesn't own several restaurants.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    And it's been long established that Chris hates fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hatinisbad View Post
    I took my niece this year and it was her first Coachella. It was so fun to see it through her eyes. She thought it felt like a magical scene from Shreck. The one where all the fairy tale creatures meet for the first time in Shreck's swamp.

  26. #6026
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    A woman who I dated in high school is now selling homeopathic products on Facebook:

    I have told many, many people (who would probably prefer NOT to hear about it if we are being completely honest) about the many ways doTERRA verified pure therapeutic grade oils have blessed my family. One of the biggest changes for us has been in my daughter Lilian who is diagnosed Aspergergs, OCD, ADHD and sensory disorder. She is so highly functional, very bright, and a sweet girl-- but her "special gifts"/disabilities have been very difficult to say the least. Oils have taken her to a whole new level. Things are not perfect and she still has her moments, but to say that she is a completely different girl is an understatement. Because we homeschool, it's hard for me to document in verifiable way the noted difference in her with and without the oil protocol-- that's why this mom's recent blog is so powerful for me. I love that she is so real about it-- essential oils can't cure my daughter, but they do--every single day-- take her from a girl who can't function in a socially acceptable way, can't sleep for more than an hour at time, and can't help the repeated, severe meltdowns, to a girl who is very lovable, very sweet, and who many many people can't even tell has "special gifts". Don't take my word for it... Read this blog.
    This woman was a National Merit Scholar and a finalist in the national debate tournament. She could have literally done anything she wanted to, and it turns out she chose to do this.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    To you guys I say Wat?????????? Off to ?????? ....... cr****
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    It's hard to argue with that.

  27. #6027
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    It sounds like she chose to be a mom, and this is a side project to help her daughter. Is this a bad thing?

  28. #6028
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    she's a fucking pusher. of bullshit.

    buy this, it'll help you in ways that I cannot describe or confirm. but don't take my word for it, just read this blog.

    also, link the blog please. Thank you.

  29. #6029
    Member Phantasma Del Mar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    ******* ****** ****
    11 mins ·
    things i do like - police dogs being considered equal to police officers (human form)
    things i dont like- people bitching about the whales at seaworld.
    Like · · Share
    I myself have mixed feelings about police officers (human form).

    7/1 - Deafheaven @ The Casbah
    7/11 - Cloud Nothings @ Soda Bar
    7/19 - Wolves In The Throne Room @ Che Cafe
    8/5 - Arcade Fire, Spoon, Dan Deacon @ Sleeptrain Amphitheater
    8/21 - NIN, Soundgarden, Death Grips @ Sleeptrain Amphitheater
    8/22 - Future Islands @ Irenic
    8/23~24 - FYF

  30. #6030
    Coachella Junkie stinkbutt's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

    I liked a status today, and here is the horseshit I got in a message. I now felt inclined to participate, but feel cheated. Mass shares are now using bait and switch tactics. Beware

    Oh dear, dear, dear!! You should not have liked or commented!
    Now you have to pick one of the 14 below and post to your status. This is the 2014 breast cancer awareness game.
    Don't be a spoil sport, choose your poison and change your status:
    1) Damn diarrhea
    2) Just used my boobs to getout of a speeding ticket
    3) Anyone have a tampon, I'm out
    4) How do you get rid of foot fungus
    5) Why is nobody around when I'm horny?
    6) No toilet paper goodbye socks!
    7)Someone offered me a job as a prostitute but I'm hesitant.
    8)I think I'm in love with someone what should I do?
    9)I've decided 2 stop wearing underwear.
    10)I still love my ex.
    11)I really don't know how 2 tell anyone and I'm sick of hiding it I'm gay. 12)Guess it was 2 good 2 b true I'm pregnant. 13)Just won $7000 on a scratchy.
    14)I've just found out I've been cheated on for the past 5 months.
    Post with no explanations.
    Sorry, I fell for it too. now it's your turn, keep it shhhh

    Sorry dude
    Quote Originally Posted by roboto View Post
    And stinkbutt leaving a motorhead set when you know he's dying just to talk shit ? Your a shitty person as well .please let mja give you an anal love disease .

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