The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[Devin the Dude]

He's also the same dude who beats off to his own cousin and asks his kid sister if she wants to see his cack

[Devin the Dude]

I thought rather than just pick on him myself I'd throw him to the dogs. If any of you would like to send him hateful messages or spam his wall with comments denouncing kiddie porn, feel free.

[chairmenmeow47]

this is hypocritical coming from a cam whore such as myself but no, i do not care about how any of you painted your nails.

[amyzzz]

I care about painted nails.

[scenicworld]

I care about painted nails.

as a subscriber to http://www.reddit.com/r/RedditLaqueristas/, I agree
(within reason).

http://facebook.com/andy.alcorn.12

Enjoi.

I hate that I share a 20 mile radius with this dude.

[Chemz]

"I have reached my Facebook friend limit so feel free to subscribe to my posts."

[Devin the Dude]

I hate that I share a 20 mile radius with this dude.

Yeah he is a major nutcase. Temecula born and (in)bred.

[ThatGirl]

"Everyday I wake up wondering how long a 43 year old can act like an 18 year old? Doesn't there come a point in time when you shut the party down take on some responsibility in life and God forbid step up to your parenting duties? I guess I just don't know how cool it is to be a Rockstar maybe"

[ENluv12]

I don't know what it is like to be a rockstar either....

[DaytonaDave]

When did STUPID become a protected class?

[SoulDischarge]

No Facebook, I do not want to send my dead father a Starbucks gift for his birthday.

[RotationSlimWang]

I don't know what it is like to be a rockstar either....

It's pretty decent, I gotta say. Then after a year or so it gets kinda tired, like everything else.

[Sleepingrock]

Goddamnit GPS. No comments of putting cinnamon on my buns.

[SoulDischarge]

I have a friend who is a "radical queer faery," which provides plenty of head-up-its-own-ass posts:

Got another good one from this guy.

I am continually struck by the beauty of the soulcrafting within my Witch tradition, the sweeping away of what is not the authentic Self and the empowering and deepening of what is.

[guedita]

The first time I met my boyfriend's long time newlywed friends, like the first time I ever met them, the wife made me sit and watch the video of their wedding. Literally the only thing I ever talk about with this woman when I'm with her in real life is her stupid wedding that I wasn't even at.

In the middle of my busy day Bright Eyes reminded me of my wedding day and put a smile on my face. #thesongiwalkeddowntheaisletoo #lastsongiheardasasinglewomen #weddingday

[Chemz]

that misappropriation of too is could be the most annoying part of that status

[xuclarockerx]

#grammarmistakeingrammarcomplaint

[SoulDischarge]

The first time I met my boyfriend's long time newlywed friends, like the first time I ever met them, the wife made me sit and watch the video of their wedding. Literally the only thing I ever talk about with this woman when I'm with her in real life is her stupid wedding that I wasn't even at.

This must be what it's like when we talk about DEMF.

[betao]

anyone?

YO ANYONE GOT PHOTOSHOP THAT COULD HOOK ME UP WITH SOME SHXT REAL QUICK..NO FUXKIN GRAPHIC DESIGNER TRYNA CHARGE ME A FORTUNE TO PUT SOME TEXT ON A PIC... FUXK I LOOK LIKE

[Mugwog]

anyone?

HELP ME DO MY SHIT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO FOR FREE OK

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Mugwoooooooooooog!

[Mugwog]

oh fuck you

[xanman86]

[scenicworld]

This may seem odd, but I haven't listens to David Bowie's new album. I have heard the two songs from the music videos and I love them. I don't know, I just don't feel ready to hear it just yet. There is ore listening going on right now. I am not sure why the album is being previewed before release other than David is above and beyond the music industry business model and can do whatever he wants. I have no idea if he has personal reasons. However, I had a release date in mind and I have had to pace my emotions about this album coming out. I mean this album's arrival has been more significant to me than a three year old waiting for Santa to come on Christmas morning. A three year old that really really wants to be a good and big, grown up girl who can wait nicely, patiently and kindly for Christmas morning. This seems like Santa came in and threw my filled stocking on the sofa while I was out shopping for the reindeer carrots, fresh and frosty milk and the ingredients to make Snickerdoodles for Santa's special visit. I feel like I just bustled in all excited to start baking Santa's cookies, necessary to get a really good present, and everyone's already unwrapped their gift's, finished playing with them, thrown out the wrapping paper trash, filled up on the generic M&Ms and left the empty, giant, plastic candy cane tubes on the kitchen table and says to me, "oh yeah, while you were out Santa left your stocking over there. We already saw what's in it. Cool stuff. Where were you? And what is all that stuff for? Are you expecting company or something?" Santa Bowie came a week early and I didn't even get to hang my stocking by the chimney with care. Or, alternatively, it's like the oil was totally about to last for eight days, but a big barrel of crude just got dropped off before the first night. The waiting is the most miraculous part of all miracles dang it!!!! Oh well, at least I can still show off my good girl waiting talents for episode nine of Breaking Bad

[Chemz]

#grammarmistakeingrammarcomplaint

hahaha got ahead of myself there.

[algunz]

#grammarmistakeingrammarcomplaint

This is why I never complain about grammar.

[betao]

from a girl I knew in college who routinely posts pictures of herself fishing for compliments:

HAHAHA wow, looking back on my high school self. Damn, I was NOT cute!!! Thank you Time, you have been good to me. Like a fine wine, yessiirrrr

[algunz]

How ugly is she?

[algunz]

Hi Eunice,
It's Amanda (here now.
Can you put a package together for me please?
If you have
• Dragons blood (Resin?)
...
See More
— at Tea 'N Sanity.

[RotationSlimWang]

Why do I know that? Oh, I think I remember. Dragon's Blood incense was one of those bullshit things kids said they smoke and it somehow got them high even though there's no explanation for how that would happen whatsoever.