The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[SoulDischarge]

Maybe she is a princess and a prince has placed a pea inside her skull to make sure she is a real princess.

[ramblinon]

This thread really went to shit after Charlene found out about it.

[unit300021]

It did, but just because she knows about it doesn't mean you can't stop posting them. Unless of course she found out it was and blocked you. But I mean I quickly found her and her profile is still open and some decent stuff in there still.

[IceyHotshot]

This thread really went to shit after Charlene found out about it.

I missed this. How did that happen?

[Hannahrain]

Maybe she is a princess and a prince has placed a pea inside her skull to make sure she is a real princess.

This is from the same column, though presumably written by a different Anon.

Why won't Americans wake up and realize that America is becoming more and more like a police state? Now they are coming for our guns!! Seriously what the Hell are the troops fighting for when we keep LOSING OUR FREEDOMS!!! Yeah! Its about time someone said that by the way! Here it is the President is all emotional over Sandy Hook but hasn't shed a tear for all those innocent American children he has killed overseas with his illegal drone use. Can we say, "lying fascist hypocrit!!" This same President who has dropped more bombs than any Nobel peace Prize winner ever in history now wants my guns!? Can we say, 'Lying fascist hypsocrit!!" Guns are suppose to protect us from a neo nazi tyranical government. Like the one we have now. SHEEP! Did you know that silly? Gun control is illegal in this country. Wow imagine that. A well armed society is a polite society. See? End of argument!

Hypsocrit.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Hannah talks- but how much would you like to bet she rolls around with a Glock 9 -- checking bitches when they step what

[Hannahrain]

I'm not particularly interested in tools that have only one use.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Well, you sure spend a lot of time on this message forum ...

[Hannahrain]

Sure, but I've yet to accept any of Randy's marriage proposals.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Marriage proposals?!? I thought that guy was hot for GPS...

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Seeing all that GPS loves ass holes and all

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Hannah is the 5th law of thermodynamics anyways...

[Hannahrain]

An arcane punchline?

[VigoTheCarpathian]

She burns 'em and turns 'em

[Hannahrain]

I don't think we travel in similar enough circles for us to fully understand each other without some sort of rudimentary pidgin. Is it too late to steer this conversation toward model trains?

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Like, Mary Blair illustrations or Dagny Taggart sextoys? Because I can jive about anything ...

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Ok, let me articulate myself better...

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Iway antway otay avehay exsay inway atelystay ainray anormay

[Hannahrain]

That's a bold assertion for somebody whose prosthetic limbs you've never had a chance to count.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Well I'm not shallow but I'm willing to bet that your cooch is...

[Hannahrain]

...and I'm out. Anybody out there actually want to talk about trains?

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Yawn...

[algunz]

There's a model train that runs along the inside of the overhang near the kiddie train at our local zoo.

[ramblinon]

I missed this. How did that happen?

Someone who figured it out who also didn't like her added me on FB, and she put 2+2 together. Sloppy Facebooking on both of our parts. Her boyfriend (who is actually a really nice guy, although much younger) was calling my phone off the hook that night. The next day I called her, we talked for probably 45 minutes...sorta pulling everything together, and parted ways. Blocked on Facebook... although I saw that she devoted her profile picture to me for a couple weeks afterward, so I suppose I left a mark.

[Courtney]

This is less annoying, and more hysterical:

[unit300021]

So yeah, what's the reason for being positive, when you're the only one you have to share your positivity with? When livin' for yourself is your only reason to live...?

Then after some back and forth comments between him and someone else he says this...

I enjoy writing peotry and lyrics of pain and hurt and depression and loss, because for me it's like venting or like sending out a messege to another person that they aren't the only one feeling sad and alone and hurt. There's no cry for help comming from me when i write things on FB. If i want to cry for help or get attention I try to go to God about it first. An also ( so that i can show that im not a hypocryte) I sometimes fail and go to other "things" that arent socially exceptable to find relief. But for me to use fb as cry for attention... naw, it aint for me brotha.

[Mike Litoris]

That photoshopped Bill Gates photo people are sharing has dragon porn in the background

[marooko]

An acquaintance has swiftly fallen in to this category. Instead of reading and posting their bullshit, they're getting dropped when I get home. I don't know how you people put up with this shit. None of it is ever that funny.

[Devin the Dude]

http://facebook.com/andy.alcorn.12

Enjoi.

[DaytonaDave]

http://facebook.com/andy.alcorn.12

Enjoi.

Wow. Busy 24 hours for that dude.