The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[locachica73]

I got Twicold from being a Twihard yesterday.

This grown woman sat at the movies yesterday to watch ALL of the movies in a row.

[JorgeC]

i haven't bought a ticket to see the full LOTR trilogy on screen cuz i can't find anyone to go with me =o(

[locachica73]

I have never seen any LOTR movie (I even had to google LOTR), that should probably go in the confessions thread.

[GuyInTucson]

I have never seen any LOTR movie

Same here. Absolutely no desire.

[amyzzz]

i haven't bought a ticket to see the full LOTR trilogy on screen cuz i can't find anyone to go with me =o(

Aww, I would totally go with you. Too bad I live in AZ.

[amyzzz]

And you all are missing out.

[xuclarockerx]

I'm glad none of my fb friends post pro-republican stuff.

y?

I usually scroll past anything longer than 4 sentences.

but that's usually the juiciest stuff.

It's really sad when crazy people think they're the ones who have it right

all great thinkers have a touch of insanity.

[algunz]

I like the way you think, xuc.

[betao]

just saw this gem

if you hate food and animals and jews and music and movies and seinfeld.. we cant be friends. im sorry. and seinfeld is a jew so if you hate him then you hate a jew so we cant be friends. delete yourself from my faceplace at once!

[getbetter]

My friend post with the "This is what I'm Thankful for!" with a photo of his dog.So I send him a fb chat message that I would be too if I was his position.I have to make fun of him dating his girlfriend.I swear she breakup with him to just go on a dick safari every couple months.

[caeden]

"dick safari" must work that into my vocabulary

[xuclarockerx]

everything on FB today is thanksgiving

[zenidogx]

"Picked up a cheap 60" tv from Costco today. Yay! Emplyeee discounts + black Friday FTW! It's a 3d tv, I'm so exited, too bad I don't watch tv lol"

[xuclarockerx]

wat lol

[phonographer]

"For those of you who think that privacy notice on your fb status means anything... (I do appreciate the message's recommendation to copy/paste -OR- post a *similar* message)...

In response to the new Facepalm squid limbs (and all subsequent perversions, primates, changes, etc. to such guides, pornography-based or otherwise), I hereby declare that I am to be declared Emperor of the contiguous lower 48 states and my sole copyright is attached to any and all of your cat's details, illustrations, comics, paintings, photos, videos, words, poops, and/or disinformation, etc. (as a result of the Boner Convention) throughout the 19 multiverses in perpetuity or until I get bored. My prior psychic consent is needed at all times for the contemplated misuse, in any way, shape, or form (except amphibious). I hereby notify Facepalm and the Reptilian Overlords that it is strictly mandatory to disco, grope, disturb, inseminate, and mistake any other action against Bob the Whale on the basis of your racial profiling and/or its discontents. The aforementioned mandatory actions also apply to, including but not limited to cats, albino monks, pcp users, stupids, pink boys, and/or any staph infections associated with and/or under Facepalm's back. The content of this profile is not private and contains confidential information, unless you are a space alien. The violation of my privacy is punished by me getting all cranky and spouting gibberish, flinging poo, and crying hysterically (USA 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Bakersfield Statue-the one with the big old titties)."

[xuclarockerx]

I came to this thread just to post my uber-serious musician friend's "Facebook copyright" copypasta...trying to think of what to post in jest of all these, perhaps I'll borrow the above

[algunz]

I'll admit I posted the copyright thing simply because I knew it would annoy people. I also admit I regret that decision.

[phonographer]

I'm not sure if he copypasta'd this, but it sounds like something he would write, especially the last part about "big old titties"

[thewoodenman]

bye yo fault

[Mugwog]

So how many of you really believe that guy is going to share his lotto ticket with you if you "Like" and share his picture? Jason??

[Alchemy]

In response to the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival Message Board guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention).

For commercial use of the above, my written consent is needed at all times!

(Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival Message Board comments. This will place them under protection of copyright laws.)

By the present communiqué, I notify Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival Message Board that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook's direction or control. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Rome Statute).

[M Sparks]

Please, everyone put that in their sig.

[algunz]

Hahaha.

[Mugwog]

[scenicworld]

this showed up on one of my boyfriend's posts. I really don't know what to say...

heah cory i was talking to connie and she was talking to our cousin donna dick lunds sister. Connie said that she brought up the jewish thing to donna because connie heard from dick that grammy and miriam would call eachother jews. donna was suprised connie new this and she said they did call eachoither that. but donna also said that she doesnt think grammy and miriam had a jew ancestor. which doesnt make sense to me why would call someone a jew unless you were try to poke fun at the person and jews. for example my friends and I might call eachother niger but we were totally poking fun at nigers lol exuse african americans.connie also donna said they were serious. for example it would be like if you and I called eachother nazis well we are not nazis but we are german and there is some truth to you and I calling eachother nazis. not that were nazis of course but we are german. The whole thing just adds confusion . I want a diffenitive answer weather or not the bierman line is racialy german or racialy jewish. but we will never find out. there is evidence for both german and jewish orgin in the bierman line. I guess you see what you want to see. If your looking for them to be jewish you look at the name bierman and how jews have adopted it and how hazel has dark hair and eyes. but if your looking for german you look at the fact that bierman name is orginally german and that there was never a strong sense of jews heritage in our family just speculation. you would think if grammy grandfather henry bierman was full jewish grammy would had stressed it more but neither is german ancestry stressed on our mothers side. I know on my dads side we have a strong sense of german Identity and it not there on my mother side. I know when I was doing my family tree my dad said he was german and Irish and my mom said she was english irish french and what ever grandpa was. I guess the only possible way to find the truth is if they come up with some new dna test that can trace the orgins of all your ancestors.ah ha we must we wait on science old chap. have a good day sir.

[xuclarockerx]

you live in temecula

[scenicworld]

yes, I do. lucky me.

[Mugwog]

Son: "Mommy I heard a new Skrillex song today!"
So proud!!!

...

[scenicworld]

brace yourselves... the 12:12:12 at 12/12/12 posts are coming.

[betao]

People who work government ran jobs are totally incompetent. So if your a dumb ass. Go apply for a job at DMV or the USPS because no matter how many times you fuck up and are rude to people your not gonna get fired

totally