The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[chairmenmeow47]

i feel bad for republicans. i feel zero sympathy for all the libertarians posting absurd quotes about how we're all lazy and that we voted for obama because we don't want to pay for anything.

[stinkbutt]

I have only met nice fairly smart libertarians. The republicans in my feed are really infuriating since they seem to be hoping for a catastrophe so they can say, told you so. I am guilty of being a smug asshole, just to piss off said annoying republican friends.

[HotHamWater]

i feel bad for republicans. i feel zero sympathy for all the libertarians posting absurd quotes about how we're all lazy and that we voted for obama because we don't want to pay for anything.

That seems to be a popular Republican opinion, as well. I don't know what types of Libertarians and Republicans you come across, but this seems to be very different from what I've observed.

[scenicworld]

Most of my republican friends apparently voted for jesus last night because they're all posting about how he's still lord and savior and "in the throne". that must be why Romney lost?

I am thankful that no matter who won the election, what props were passed or defeated in the state my God is on the throne and He alone is in control of my life. No man will defeat me!

Thankful that God is still in control. Thankful to live in a democratic country where we can vote. Reminded that we have the amazing privilege of supporting our nation and its leaders by praying for them - no matter who they are.

Tonight, after the election is over, I can predict (and guarantee) the following results:
1. God will still be on His throne.
2. Jesus will still be King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
3. The Bible will still have all the answers to every problem.
4. The tomb will still be empty.
5. Jesus will still be the only way to heaven.
6. Prayer will still work - it will still make a difference and God will still answer prayer.
7. The cross, not the government, will still be our salvation.
8. There will still be room at the cross.
9. Jesus will still save anyone who places their faith and trust in Him.
10. God will still be with us always - He will never leave us or forsake us.

someone should check on god, he's been in the bathroom a very long time.

[heart cooks brain]

i got this gem this morning

"It is better to trust in the Lord, than to put any confidence in man." Psalms 118:8

[rage patton]

Wait. People still believe the bible has "all the answers to every problem?" There is an extremely easy way to falsify this. Have you asked him a question? Basically any question will do. See how he responds. Let us know when his world comes crashing down around him.

[nosurprises12]

Sour grapes to the max (and what is extra sad is that I went to grad school with this person, a program in which we focused in part on how to go about composing arguments):

Yeah. I'm actually quite pissed about the election. You know why? Because I spend 4 hours a day commuting to my job and I drive thru the neighborhoods of the lazy degenerates who suck on the teet of the government handout. It makes me angry that 1/3 of my income--which I work very hard for and busted my ass off to attain thru college, grad school, and working a multitude of jobs (and at times lived in near-poverty levels for--air mattress for 7 months, thank you)--is just given to them. Screw you. You think I love waking up early, driving in traffic, and sitting at a desk for 10 hours? No! It's WORK. I like to eat and pay rent and EARN my money.

I work to supplement the masses of the lazy. Whose idleness leads to violence, crimes, and spawning more lazy teet-suckers.

I bust my ass and I'm rewarded with more taxes. And with this new POS insurance plan that mandates I drop $2k before it even kicks in. God forbid I want to procreate because then I'm spending $4k before insurance kicks in. That's not even including medicine or my biweekly contribution.

But the lazy pay nothing. They are rewarded.

Yeah. I'm angry. And I'm not alone. A country divided by the doers and the takers. If you're not angry, I know which party you fall into.

[nosurprises12]

Wait. People still believe the bible has "all the answers to every problem?" There is an extremely easy way to falsify this. Have you asked him a question? Basically any question will do. See how he responds. Let us know when his world comes crashing down around him.

*Insert Bill Hicks dinosaurs in the Bible bit here*

[chairmenmeow47]

That seems to be a popular Republican opinion, as well. I don't know what types of Libertarians and Republicans you come across, but this seems to be very different from what I've observed.

on my feed, the republicans aren't making angry posts. it's just all about god's plan and trying to stay positive. i'm not religious, but if that's what makes you stay positive, then so be it. i'll try to find some libertarian gems tonight. almost all the posts are angry, condescending, and self-righteous about how much smarter they are than the rest of us who are sheeple who know nothing. maybe it's just my friends

[amyzzz]

I don't think I have any republican friends except for a couple family members, and they thankfully don't post about politics. It's all happyland on my facebook!

[nathanfairchild]

In my home state every single county was red. Even though they still haven't sent me my absentee ballot it looks like my vote wouldn't have counted there anyway.

[amyzzz]

My presidential vote only counted in 1996.

[LickTheLizzard]

Mormon facebook friend

You know what this race means? If you're a conservative plan on doubling the amount of children you want to have if you would ever like to see an R in the White House again, and keep your kids close.

[amyzzz]

That doesn't surprise me. I was thinking the same thing. (not that I want to have more children; that white conservatives would want to have more children)

[unit300021]

Out off all the republican/libertarian posts I saw I think this one really angered me the most

God will not bless this 3rd world country

Really? I'm not religious so I might not be 100% accurate but isn't god supposed to be loving to everyone? Or does god only love and listen to and answer the prayers of the rich now?

[Mugwog]

I want to thank this election for making facebook so unbearable that now I don't obsessively check it anymore. The amount of propaganda and energy everyone puts into these elections could be spent on more productive things.

Like the Coachella forums.

[faxman75]

Out off all the republican/libertarian posts I saw I think this one really angered me the most



Really? I'm not religious so I might not be 100% accurate but isn't god supposed to be loving to everyone? Or does god only love and listen to and answer the prayers of the rich now?

Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

God ain't kind to those who don't listen.

[scenicworld]

um... thanks for sharing?

Fellow friend I have been keeping this in dark from u and I'm sorry, I am also sorry to my boss.
Since I have had left for the UK, to be exact it was 4 days the 13 of October the began a terrible month for me, once when I was in the UK I acted as a bunny rabbit who was crying from the pain, when barely happened and it hurt, I the I was going to have a brain hemmrage stupi auto correct even the wrong sometimes.
Anyways when I returned, I had the flu, till this day it's been on again off again, for 3 days this week the bunny came back causing more pain,I finally got a drug store swallowed some castor oil, 7 hour and 28 days later poof, it was the last bar of the song, I told the lighting guys what to do, I had to stand up cause the did, the it happened pouring down into my shoes, I ran so fast room well it was still going, got to the toilet and spent another 20 in the thanks for listening to my story!

[PJandBompton]

saw this gem on someone's wall wishing them a happy Bday. X_X

FROM THE DRUG CARTEL OF SAN DIEGO CALIFORIA.. B EST WISHES FOR A VERY SMILING HAPPY BITHDAY THE COPS SAY I DO SMACK EVEN, SO I WILL GIVE YOU A PLANT IN A CUP FOR YOU, CAUSE WE DELI WORKERS NEED CUPS , ( NOT REALLY JK PEOPLE CHILL ITS A JOKE. TO WORK IN ANY DELI YOU MUST HAVE A BRAIN AND A PLAN AND DAV IDS PLAN IS RIGFGHT ON LOVE BOAT THE PRO WAY JUST HIM AND HIS HEART STRINGS LEGAL NOT DRUGS, WE ARE NOT THE DRUG CARTEL WORLD WIDES, WE ARE THE WORK FORCE OF SAN DIEGO, WE DO SUNNY SIDE UPS WE ARE PROPER , WE SHOW UP AND WORK IN ODD CONDITIONS TOO ITS WAR ALWAYS TO B E STRIGHT TOO, SO GIVE DAVID A B OW, ITS SUNDAY

there's more...

WAIT ANOTHER GIFT TOO HE DESERVES THE BEST EVER HE WORKS AT ALBERSONS ITS HOLY TO ME TOO, BOW HEADS, ALBERT MY PUP WAS BORN IN THE PARKING LOT OF ALBERTSONS TOO AMEN ALBERT GOT KILLED BY ROSEY A BULLY, CALM ROSEY ) HA HA WAIT DAVID NEEDS MORE HA HA OK IKTS HIS B IRTHDAY FOOLS OK WAIT

[Alchemy]

Speaking of Republican/Libertarian posts. I never thought something more annoying would pop up than Republicans. I don't know if it's just that I've been encountering some terrible Libertarians, but I've actually found statements like, "No matter who one the election, God still reigns," to be greatly refreshing in the midst of all the Ron Paul can do no wrong, these states should actually secede, and all the fucking slogans about "Statists."

[chairmenmeow47]

here here, alchemy. i really don't understand the passion behind states' rights. it seems like a copout to not truly legalize some things, like marijuana or abortion. it's also 2012. interstate commerce is a whole different ballgame than it was in the 1700s.

[Alchemy]

To me, it looks like a bunch of pseudo-intellectualism rising out of having read Ayn Rand and one-sided books on the economy, prescribed by Ron Paul.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

My friend, who is a nerdy engineer (read: zero social skills, zero experience with the ladies) is 24, and he posted this as his profile picture:

[guedita]

what are we looking at here.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

what are we looking at here.

He photoshopped his head on a dude's body who is standing next to a girl.

[locachica73]

haha, I thought he just had an exceptionally large head and tiny body.

[amyzzz]

His head is kinda cute.

[Alchemy]

Who is that girl?

[gswhooper]

Ask him where he got the shirt from.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

The weirdest part of that photo is the description says, "Here is a picture of me with my mom."