The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[nyarlathotoats]

Well, only cause you asked nicely...

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

I don't think that person wants to open said store, but rather wants someone to open it.

[amyzzz]

I don't think that person wants to open said store, but rather wants someone to open it.

That sounds right.

[betao]

reveal yourself, Ian!

why is asexual NOT a choice in facebook? should be! also next person to hit on me on here in any shape way or form is getting deleted and blocked. any person in real life who hits on me is going to get a punch in the face... and someone tell ian that ME AND HIM ARE NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN IAN! YOU HAVE BEEN BOMBARDING ME FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS NOW! IF IT HAS NOT HAPPEN NOW... IT IS NEVER.. GOING.. TO.. FUCKING.. HAPPEN! READ MY LIPS! I DO NOT LIKE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! UGH!!!!!

[Mugwog]

I just want to let everyone know that I am deactivating my facebook...if you want to stay in touch, follow me on IG

I swear if anyone really cared, they would call you.

I'm currently having a good Maynard attitude about LA lately.

[MissingPerson]

Fuck that shit, Ian. God loves a tryer. You'll wear her down eventually.

[JustSteve]

MP, what is the deal with Lennox? And why is it all over my wall today?

[MissingPerson]

Lennox was a pit bullish dog in Northern Ireland. There are loads of them up there because a lot of the hard men like to walk around with them trying to look badass, but they are illegal to keep, they're a restricted breed under UK law after a couple of really horrifying "mental dog on a string breaks loose and eats child" cases. Lennox was classified as a "pit bull type", and dog wardens found him extremely unpredictable and ill controlled, so a judge ruled he had to be put down. A bunch of kennel enthusiasts picked him as the poster boy to contest the - admittedly really poorly written - legislation on the issue. Some others wanted to try and rehome him somewhere in the republic, where as far as I know the same restrictions don't apply, but the owners rejected that and insisted on trying the case.

It was dumb because although the definition of a pit bull type dog is stupid, Lennox actually was a really dangerous dog - he was bred to be dangerous, kept in shitty conditions and was aggressive to any human he came into contact with. The family only contested it, as far as I can see, so they could benefit from a big fundraising campaign to cover legal costs even though they were availing of legal aid.

Basically, he was a dangerous dog who was put down for being dangerous and his dumbass owners turned him into some kind of animal ownership rights martyr so they could scam a load of very genuine well intentioned people.

[JustSteve]

thanks! searched around a bit, but seems i could only really find the side of the owners easily. people who make their dogs mean like that need to be punished as well. my in-laws have a couple of pitbulls who are the nicest dogs ever, but even so i still keep an eye on them due to all the negative attention the breed brings.

[SoulDischarge]

This kid I used to hang out with in middle school added me on Facebook awhile ago but doesn't post much except the occasional pro-gun graphic. He just posted a pic that says "Protecting my neighbors. Protecting my family. Protecting myself. I Am George Zimmerman." Delete.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

That's it. I'm done.

[betao]

Jesus looks like Marilyn Manson with a small beard.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

I just noticed "Counter Stike" and "Satanas"

[scenicworld]

even after googling Kim Bum I have to ask who the heck Kim Bum is???

also, I officially posted my first instagram photo today. I'm finally an e-hipster.

[Mugwog]

youre only an ehipster once you leave facebook and tell everyone to follow your shitty instragram photos that are really just shitty photos with filters on them, from a company owned by facebook. those fuckers will be back by october

[algunz]

Hey, my instagrams are awesome. You just suck at taking pictures.

[malcolmjamalawesome]

[ramblinon]

You know, a cogent and interesting point could have been made from the idea of the original post. But never has poor spelling and lack of proofreading so completely disqualified anyone from ever speaking on the internet again.

[malcolmjamalawesome]

How about a sneak preview

[cured]

wikileaks it, man. Bare it all for the world to see an be amazed at.

[OnlyNonStranger]

Did Romney actually pick her? I haven't been following the Presidential race at all.

[Alchemy]

I don't think he's picked anybody yet. Or, at least, nothing has been revealed yet. Also, I think Condileezza Rice has said that she doesn't want to run for anything.

[xuclarockerx]

she's a "frontrunner" supposedly.

[getbetter]

What day is it again?

[guedita]

Soulful, soulful dubstep.

[Gribbz]

Soulful, soulful dubstep.

Redundant, I know.

[ramblinon]

I'm still not sure how chemicals can be used to objectify pornography. Thoroughly flummoxed.

[unit300021]

Does she not realize if she some how does manage to make it on to a commercial that they aren't live and no one is going to ever hear her three sentences?

[Mugwog]

Charlene responds to a dubstep song being used for an HP commercial.

I cannot wait to be Famous. I cannot wait until Im on someone's couch, and they think im going to "play along" and next thing I know, im looking at the camera and in just 3 sentences I have completely philosophically broken down exactly why it's WRONG to use artistic creation to sell fucking shit sell landfill garbage and the video goes viral, every music lover that has ever been crushed by shitty corporations taking the things we love and ruining them in new contexts and mediums will rejoice that there is FINALLLLLLLY someone on tv that isn't controlled by captialism, money and greeed.

Holy crap, what?!

Did she make a nude video or something?

[IceyHotshot]

Oh man! That was a hoot!