The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[xuclarockerx]

Yeah, uh, I'm actually looking at most of these and they're mostly sarcasm/satire/jokes. Buzzfeed should do better research on this shit.

[nosurprises12]

Yeah, the "It's not like the 8 other times ive been let go after doing nothing wrong" sentence really tells me all I need to know about this person.

[JustSteve]

32 lotto tickets, but too broke to pay bills. i really wish we had a picture of this chick, my mind is showing me dreads, the smell of patchouli, baggy clothes...

[ramblinon]

32 lotto tickets, but too broke to pay bills. i really wish we had a picture of this chick, my mind is showing me dreads, the smell of patchouli, baggy clothes...

Naw...flighty blond.

[Bud Luster]

super cereal about us all making millions.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

I forget, which crazy bitch decided to start their own not-for-profit business? Was it Kimber or Charlene?

[unit300021]

If she does actually end up winning the Lotto then I'm going to be pretty pissed off. Or maybe I should start looking into her spirit guides because maybe there is something there then.

[kitt kat]

Girl I went to elementary/middle school with

5lbs lighter — at Toilet.

[IceyHotshot]

There's this girl on my friends list who posted about farting/shitting/boogers like three times a day. After a week of this I hid her from my newsfeed. This was like 3 years ago. I went to look at her page out of curiosity yesterday and the last two statuses were about bodily functions as well, stopped reading after that.

[IceyHotshot]

Maybe she was disillusioned by Swedish House Mafia breaking up, and they can no longer sing about saving the world while partying or whatever the hell it was.

[nathanfairchild]

I guess I should be grateful that none of my fb friends pay attention to the news. I saw nothing about healthcare today.

[amyzzz]

Is Charlene going to start a pyramid scheme?

[caeden]

i'm surprised she hasn't yet

[stuporfly]

Has anyone actually spotted Charlene and Kimber in the same place at the same time? It would be less a double-life situation than a single life twice deal.

[Gribbz]

People that post a billion pictures of themselves as a baby/toddler/child.

[frazzles]

People that post a billion pictures of themselves as a baby/toddler/child.

And people who do the same with their spawn doing nothing remarkable. Stop that shit.

[frazzles]

Also:

On this day in 1776, 56 people committed the ultimate form of treason. They signed a document cast tyranny aside and set forth on new path. The mere signature on that paper was a death sentence. In those times men of principle were willing to die for a cause, for an idea. 236 years later we live under a more tyrannical government than they could imagine and we smile and carry on like sheep in the field. I am ashamed and saddened on this anniversary of our independence that we have squandered the gift we received, that was paid for in blood. Everyone wails and laments over blood diamonds or blood minerals, I assure more good men gave blood for freedom and were is your pitty? I still love this nation but it's time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. States have rights that a trampled on every day, read the bill of rights! 10th amendment states " The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." does that sound what is going on in Washington? Take back what's yours, take back your liberty. Happy birthday to a great nation

[caeden]

is that person advocating open rebellion against the government?

[HandBanana]

Pitty

[SoulDischarge]

It isn't very pretty what a town with pitty can do.

[Mugwog]

You know what I call perfect....sleeping that well needed 12 hours and then waking up to take a morning dump.

This girl is a hilarious young and classy lady to have on my FB. She may save your life one day if you drown at Knott's water park.

I should note she also went to see slipknot last week and hilarity ensued there also.

[marooko]

It use to make me sad. Now I'm happy face.

I wish open a baby to tell wic thing and baby outfits.

Your guess on what the fuck is as good as mine.

[JustSteve]

My guess? She wishes she could get free clothes along with the free food she receives for her kids/self through wic, which is the public program for women, infants, and children.

[mountmccabe]

We're not all as hateful and cynical as you, though.

My guess is that this person wants to open a store that sells clothes for babies and also carries WIC-eligible foods.

I wish open a baby [store] to [s]ell wic[-eligible] thing[s] and baby outfits.

It seems like an odd mix. I'd want to add in other baby-related products such as car seats, diapers and toys but the more you add dilutes the purpose of having the only foods you have be WIC-eligible. But hey, what do I know?

[JustSteve]

I just didn't see "business owner" in that post.

[heart cooks brain]

steve, the country as a whole is delusional.

that's just one example.

[Somewhat Damaged]

Steve, I used to work with small business owners every day. Composing a sentence only that unintelligible would have actually been a mammoth achievement for a good number of them.

[marooko]

We're not all as hateful and cynical as you, though.

My guess is that this person wants to open a store that sells clothes for babies and also carries WIC-eligible foods.



It seems like an odd mix. I'd want to add in other baby-related products such as car seats, diapers and toys but the more you add dilutes the purpose of having the only foods you have be WIC-eligible. But hey, what do I know?

The wife and I were discussing it and have come to the same conclusion: A store for WIC eligible foods and baby clothes.

[nyarlathotoats]

WIC also has baby clothes?

[heart cooks brain]

if you're not going to pay attention, go home.