The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[HandBanana]

I better start gettin ready 4 my big date tonite.....with my vibrator....oh joy!

O kimber, u have teh cure for teh rainy day heart <3 <3 <3

[algunz]

LIKE if u think she's beautiful

I'd like.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

liked her better when she rapped with Die Antwoord

[HandBanana]

I have directed Kimber to http://www.forttroff.com

I wouldnt go there if I were yall tho.

[Goatchella]

[algunz]

You need to charge your phone.

[betao]

Pictures of food. Kewl.

God damnit THIS. Why the hell do people post real-time pictures of their meals at restaurant? How addicted to FB or self-centered must one be to actually do that?

I don't give a shit about what you're eating at <restaurant name>.

[caeden]

I have directed Kimber to http://www.forttroff.com

I wouldnt go there if I were yall tho.

i love toys. i'm surprised i didn't know about this to begin with. thank you for bringing it to my attention

[rage patton]

God damnit THIS. Why the hell do people post real-time pictures of their meals at restaurant? How addicted to FB or self-centered must one be to actually do that?

I don't give a shit about what you're eating at <restaurant name>.

When I make a REALLY good looking meal at home, I will take a picture of it and post it. Sometimes it just needs to be done.

Restaurants though? Thats lame.

[unit300021]

I think this video pretty much sums up what people do with Facebook the most, myself included with some of them.

[faxman75]

Good morning Kimber...

I lost 50 friends last nite from one comment...especially happy losing the body builder dude that takes hundreds of pics in his bathroom mirror in a spedo...I'm weary of peps that have the same smile and same pose half naked and dozens of the same shit over & over....boring...... um insecure possibly??...take one good one...and burn the rest... and whom ever can't take a joke...well then they don't belong on my page. I'm laughing everyday of my life...u wanna be miserable go for it. But I will be laughing havin fun somewhere..have no time 4 downers...oh and learn how to dance...or at least try...you got to move it..move it.....and learn to defend yourself worms... insteading of just having a big mouth. Talk the talk...walk the walk bitches. Or just keep your mouth shut...better yet. Have a great day....I love watchin all the miserable people go to work.coffee in hand..mean faces..bumping into people rushing so you're not late going to the job u hate? What a nice life....lol.

That I had to get ready 4 my big date last nite....with my vibrator.....geez....he said shame on me... mind u he sent naked pics? What a good Christian so called famous wrestler??? I meet some strange dudes.....kick his ass Joel...I bet he would be scared of u...called himself Champ...it made me chuckle...lol

I delete all my posts....I had a politician have me analyzed via internet by some doctor...God I would never f@ck a politician...I would have to kill him first....

[rskapcat]

Uh, okay.

Niemans

Vicky and I took the boys to the galleria in Houston last night. We were waiting for them in Niemans and began looking at dresses. One we saw was $8,000! Everything I looked at was grossly expensive. It literally made my stomach hurt. One lady walked up with two dresses already in her hand and was looking at a third with Vicky and I. It was $2500. She said her other two weren't bad - only $400 a piece! I wish I'd had the courage and thought to tell her that she was beautiful in Gods sight just as she was, that she was created in His image, and that she would feel 10 times better than she would feel in that dress if she would put it back and give the money to someone who really needed it.

[stuporfly]

Peps.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

Good morning Kimber...

That I had to get ready 4 my big date last nite....with my vibrator.....geez....he said shame on me... mind u he sent naked pics? What a good Christian so called famous wrestler??? I meet some strange dudes.....kick his ass Joel...I bet he would be scared of u...called himself Champ...it made me chuckle...lol

wat.

Can you translate this?

[GuyInTucson]

Uh, okay.

People like this always point the finger at others' spending habits without realizing their own.

[anti-square]

[anti-square]

PUSSY AND DICK ON TAP!

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Was that posted by a male or female?

[SoulDischarge]

Nothing like pussy fresh from the spout.

[anti-square]

No idea. It's from reddit.

[JustSteve]

The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[anti-square]

You're right. What was I thinking. I'll go start The Thread In Which We Post Others Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates. Let's have a thread for every combination of variables possible. That way everything is covered.

[faxman75]

wat.

Can you translate this?

Sure,

-last night she posted a status update about looking forward to a night with her vibrator.
-some wrestler dude said 'shame on her' for posting that.
-same dude has sent her naked pics of himself and claims to be a a famous wrestler, he is also a Christian.
-She meets a lot of strange guys
-She wants her friend Joel to kick the wrestler dudes ass and she think wrestler dude would be scared of Joel
-Wrestler dude calls himself "champ" and that nickname makes her chuckle.

[unit300021]

So I used to be Facebook friends with this person and deleted him however long ago for some of the awful shit he said. I just recently stumbled upon his page again and this is just a select few of his status from the past few days...

Shame on you if you buy Girl Scout cookies. They are one of the biggests contributors to the Planned Parenthood abortionists. Every cookie you guy goes to those contributions. Let them kill those babies with other peoples $$$. Don't do it people

OMG! Who are these 47% of the dumbasses that LIKE and AGRRE with what the muslim is doing?

It is not politics anymore. This is social WARFARE now. Get involved. Speak up. Vote. Get these enemies out of our Govt. ASAP or suffer the consequences.

Public Service Announcement! Libtards beware. We are all done with all of your commie crap. We are coming for your nasty asses in the voting booth in 2012. You best look for another place to move. Get out! Take that muslim ****** with you

NO Girl Scout COOKIES! I do not support any abortion groups or those that fund them. Profits from GS cookies go to Planned Parenthood. I will never buy another Girl Scout cookie or donate to them for anything. Sell your baby murdering cookies to someone else.

Sad thing isn't even all of them from just Monday til now. Also you can see what type of person he is and why we are no longer Facebook friends. I would also say real life friends but we were never friends to begin with, he is the cousin or uncle or something like that to a friend of mine.

[chairmenmeow47]

dude, i didn't know girl scout cookies funded abortions. if you sell 1,000 boxes, does that mean you can abort 5 fetuses of your choice?

[Alchemy]

Introducing a new cookie: Fetus Berry Much™

[faxman75]

I've never seen a motherfucker so angry about Girl Scout Cookies. Holy shit. I bet he glares at those girlscouts on the way in the grocery store and then tries to make them flinch on the way out.

[OnlyNonStranger]

Those Girl Scout Cookies are so damn good I wouldn't care if they supported meth-heads I'd still buy them.

[unit300021]

I've never seen a motherfucker so angry about Girl Scout Cookies. Holy shit. I bet he glares at those girlscouts on the way in the grocery store and then tries to make them flinch on the way out.

No he probably doesn't try to make them flinch. I see it more of him talking to the girl scouts and how they are wrong for being in it and that each one of them is contributing to abortions around the country. Then get a big smile on his after he makes the girls cry.

Those Girl Scout Cookies are so damn good I wouldn't care if they supported meth-heads I'd still buy them.

I wish I could say different but like you I can't. Every time I get stopped and asked to buy them I can never figure out which ones I want so typically end up getting them all. That reason alone I why I hate this time of year lol.

[xuclarockerx]

Does anyone else say "(song) switched on the radio"? A kinda dum Facebook friend just posted "bridges burning just switched on the radio! U should be here!"