The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[SoulDischarge]

Dear Bridge: How does it feel to be dethroned?

[SoulDischarge]

She has "Joliet Correctional Center" under her Activities . . .

[I.F.A.]

It is Joycian (if James Joyce were a Super Bitch).

Oh, I am so sigging this.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

Faxman, who is crazier, Kimber or Bridge?

[Alchemy]

I'm betting on Kimber. Bridge seems more sad than crazy.

[nathanfairchild]

is kimber the same one who posed in front of her destroyed wheel?

[HandBanana]

Success!

OosDo.jpg

[faxman75]

lol

Kimber:

I met someone at a coffee shop..what an interesting conversation we shared last nite..and now I'm supposed to go back to see him again this morning....right when I said I stopped looking....I sneezed.... and he yelled bless u from across the room....yes that's how we met...I should of sneezed more often....funny usually I'm the one that always yells bless u to someone...but some people get offended when they don't believe in God...so I still say it anyways. G'day. Xxo

We met at "God bless u"....omg that's kinda funny...he said he heard my conversation...I was talking to two women..and he said he wasn't interested until he heard the weird shit I say....omg....lol

It's like that scene in the elevator in the movie Singles.

[faxman75]

More from Kimber

I just thought of something though...he said he didn't have his ID or social security card or any idenification due to someone stealing his wallet...but he's a boxer slash writer...artist...amazing work I must say...omg...he's a serial killer...ugh....I usually always need identification...omg I'm scared now...my luck.

I'm so paranoid lately...but last nite there was a girl at the coffee shop that thinks every dude is bad or a predator....she was funny. She thinks everyone is a rapist... I can't be that paranoid..besides I would put up a battle...so that I'm not really scared of.

In intuition is pretty good. I'm kinda the wrong girl for a guy to mess with...even if someone shoots me he's still getting his ass kicked....ha...ummm ya its good to be safe. I meet in public places. I know my neighborhood. I know who old and who's new. You can't fear the wolf..cause then it looks bigger.....Shepperd the artist I believe said that.

ummm I think that scares me more...my new tat....fear nothing but God himself....but in German.....if someone was out to get me...I'm like a solo pirana....id rip his face off with my teeth and break every bone in his body...I'm like a tiger...I seriously don't fear any man.

but just 22 hours ago she decided she was NOT going to date men for a while. lolz

from 22 hours ago:

Thanks so much Audrey... I decided not to date anyone for a long while. I have too much to do to try to do always what's right for my daughter. I have no time to get my heart smashed...love u...I'm out for a week...have a good one....sendin sum luv....K

Finally, she is getting ready for the day.

33 min. ago.

Kimber:

I'm so sick of shavin my legs.. and doing my hair...I'm thinking dreads and be an earth hippie...those people are always nice...cute beads...and stuff...but ill still shave my arm pits...cause that still freaks me out...women with monkey pits...whoaaa...I'm gonna go shave...enjoy the day everyone..I feel godzilla and I have one hour to be a Greek Goddess..f@ck

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

[HandBanana]

The movie...the Big Year...is pretty good...owen wilson..steve martin and one of my favs...Jack Black....I knew I loved birds...but I definitely want to be a birder one day. Have a great nite everyone...xo...

This lady is a champ.

[faxman75]

Bridge

Purchased a magnetic bracelet that promised to cure all sorts of ailments and thinking its a gimmick. Tried to return it but the seller said for some people it takes 2-3 weeks. By that time her stand will be relocated.

Bridge:

A guy who used to stalk me had his toes chopped off when a steel beam fell chopped his toes off right through a steel toed boot. Not saying this is karma but it is possible.

Bridge:

Just remembered a time in first or second grade when my mom said if she didn't go to work we wouldn't eat. Must have been great advice because I'm thinking it's exactly what keeps me showing up

.

[faxman75]

This lady is a champ.

Yeah, it's non stop with her. I can't even keep up and post them all here. Glad you are on the team because this is a two person job.

[heart cooks brain]

fax those first two are lulz

[chairmenmeow47]

is karma part of god's plan?

[guedita]

I'm still on Team Bridge.

[Alchemy]

Bridge did hold strong with that magnetic bracelet and chopped toes. I wasn't as interested in Kimber's coffee shop and paranoia tale.

[guedita]

Bridge has more of a narrative focus in her posts. Kimber is like a Jackson Pollack painting.

[faxman75]

Bridge:

Has never stereotyped people based on their genetics but that does not believe I can appreciate being compared to the mountain people of Appalachia.

[IceyHotshot]

"Dumb girl: Wtf on gas prices! MAJOR FUCK YOU OBAMA & I DIDN'T EVEN VOTE FOR U FUCKTARD!
Mc Cain wouldn't even do this to his ppl. Real AMERICAN!

First response: wow, that is ignorant of you, almost wanna unfriend you now. you clearly don't understand how the market works with oil prices.

Dumb girl: I have a freedom of speech. If u don't like it then delete me I don't care ur just 1 less person. I don't hate on ur political beliefs blah blah. I respect ur decision on political beliefs. An no I'm not ignorant. And I think u already knew I'm a REPUBLICAN"

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

"Dumb girl: Wtf on gas prices! MAJOR FUCK YOU OBAMA & I DIDN'T EVEN VOTE FOR U FUCKTARD!
Mc Cain wouldn't even do this to his ppl. Real AMERICAN!

First response: wow, that is ignorant of you, almost wanna unfriend you now. you clearly don't understand how the market works with oil prices.

Dumb girl: I have a freedom of speech. If u don't like it then delete me I don't care ur just 1 less person. I don't hate on ur political beliefs blah blah. I respect ur decision on political beliefs. An no I'm not ignorant. And I think u already knew I'm a REPUBLICAN"

Ugh it's people like that that make me embarrassed to be conservative. I know there are some liberal nutjobs out there but holy shit she is taking this way too far.

[faxman75]

Blake:

This is a discussion I had with a pro life friend of mine. I wanted to share it: You have met my son, when kate got pregnant we weren't married, had bustling careers, were free spirits rockin out all over the country and she was playing in Thailand at that point. What would you think of me after meeting him if we could go back in time driving in a car on the way to an abortion cl...inic to end his life. His cells in his body were alive and growing at day 1.......... 2 mos, 3 mos. Imagine he was sitting in the back with you talking up a storm as beautiful as anything with those blue eyes and porcelain skin calling you Mrs. D , look at this, look at that. And when he asks where Daddy and Mommy are driving to you get to tell him, " Why Blakey, your parents are driving to a place where they can kill you , legally! " Do you think he would say " Thats great because I do not want to live Mrs. D, I dont want to laugh and play with my toys, I dont want to make my parents get on their knees every day and give thanks for the gift I have been to them. " My dear friend, would you be waving your reproductive freedom flag after that conversation or would you want me to stop the car?

Note to everyone who has been part of an abortion. It doesn't mean you have to support the institution because you made a bad decision once upon a time. You can forgive yourself, you can never forget it. God will forgive you and you can live the rest of your life as a champion of what is right. Not a champion of a bad mistake you made once upon a time. Its a touchy subject that makes a lot of people crazy. At the end of the day, its about a baby. If anyone can show me anything better on this earth than a baby, soft and innocent than get busy posting.

[betao]

We need a separate FB thread simply titled "Faxy & Friends".

[nahuatldream]

Who would win, Tiger/Piranha Kimber, a Silverback Gorilla, or a Grizzly Bear?

[faxman75]

Don't count out Bridge, she's a military vet with brawn on her side.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

I was just flipping through old photos on my phone and found this. I posted this message on my friend's wall on his 21st birthday last year. The first person to comment was his mom. Lulz ensued.

[hippityhip]

haha ^^

[faxman75]

It's hard to read so squint good.

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[fetuspiniata]

It's hard to read so squint good.

Attachment 4725

I hate how everyone blames stupid shit on Obama all the time! $1.78 per gallon in 2004, $3.00 per gallon in 2007, $3.75 per gallon currently. I'd say he's done a pretty good "job" of keeping that oil price down, even though thats not his "job".

[SoulDischarge]

I shaved my back once before Obama went into office, but ever since I've neglected to shave and now I have far too much back hair, perhaps more than I did before even. NOBAMA 2012.