The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[roberto73]

I swear, babies turn people crazy on Facebook. I seriously don't want kids just so I would never have the opportunity to be one of those obnoxious people who has to inundate people with every little baby-related thing that happens.

Yes. A related symptom: using a picture of your spawn as your profile pic.

[MissingPerson]

I don't have it to hand, but a few years ago, a guy I sorta know basically posted

"OMG, my dad's dead! "

Yes, sadface and all.

Terminal cancer: say it with smileys.

[caco0283]

Is this a FB status update, or do you have a cat as strange as mine? Seriously, I'm sitting there and the cat gets in her box with that smug, "No, I'm not pooping look as she stares at the ceiling." The bad part is she is pooping and lkeaves me there to wallow in the aura of it all! Fucking cat!

This was actually Yablo's status for the past week. I'm so glad to hear you and Yablo have so much in common....its really cute

[luckyface]

Yes. A related symptom: using a picture of your spawn as your profile pic.

Totally. Those will be posted for years, and right after you have had to endure months of pregnant belly pictures. Maybe I should just de-friend anyone that becomes pregnant.

[TomAz]

This was actually Yablo's status for the past week. I'm so glad to hear you and Yablo have so much in common....its really cute

I can't say I'm surprised by this.

[TomAz]

[caco0283]

Respect again tonight probably. All you dorks should come on out and get earfucked by some bass.

[heyeric]

what a fucking bitch.

"GIRLS LIKE THAT, LIKE TO HAVE FUN"

"I can get an idea of her just by looking at her trampy picture"

"...with some girl named jennie. you can send her a message warning her to keep her slut hands off your son unless she wants to find herself in some pretty big trouble"

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF JEFF. he is wonderful and deserves the love of the best women. I AM SERIOUS. IF YOU TOUCH HIM I WILL KILL YOU"

hahahah

[TomAz]

maybe you should watch that a little more closely.

[heyeric]

the satire...? what about it. its pretty obvious.

that's a great video.

[TomAz]

I don't think you understand how satire works, then. Someone who is deliberately overplaying the bitch role for the sake of the parody is not one you say 'what a fucking bitch' about.

[roberto73]

Respect again tonight probably. All you dorks should come on out and get earfucked by some bass.

Beat me to it, Caco.

[heyeric]

I don't think you understand how satire works, then. Someone who is deliberately overplaying the bitch role for the sake of the parody is not one you say 'what a fucking bitch' about.

i was just saying that in general, towards the character. did not mean it literally. i love the video, reminds me of my mother and what she does to my younger brother.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

posted by my little brother about an hour ago:
oh lawdy pick a bale a cotton, oh lawdy picka bale a hay, jump down spin around picka bale a cotton, jump down spin around picka bale a hay...

[nicolemxo]

this was my cousin's status the other day...

Yesterdays church service was awesome again...there was healing, people accepting Jesus for the first time, too many miracles to count. I loved it. Thank you Jesus for tu misericordia!

[M Sparks]

If there are too many miracles to count, they aren't miracles.

[malcolmjamalawesome]

I've got a nice little story to tell from 2 status updates from the same person.

First one (regular status update): Why can't some guys just man up and take care of their responsibilities?

Second one (wall-to-wall with some dude): Hey we need to talk. you need to call me, we need to talk about our daughter.

Awwwwwwwww shit ... he need to be like uh no nuh no nuh nuh nuh nuh no you didn't!

[softbulletin]

"mmm totally feelin Nickleback today...out n' about with kaybabe then working with the kiddies til 6ish"

Why?

[Egull]

_______No 'O' with 2 fingers. 'O' with 1.... 2 fingers... Boooooooooooo

[Egull]

Hahah this is really funny. "Now get those glasses out were going to interview a war widow in 3-D!'

[algunz]

The emotions of the light side are too hard to maintain. It's much easier to succumb and nurture the hate/anger within.

[MissingPerson]

Facebook friends with Yoda?

Yoda and the Pope, you folks move in awesome circles.

[algunz]

Yoda and I go way back.

[Egull]

Best Facebook Status I have seen today for sure:
soooo just now realized that one of the pictures of my tattoo was showing part of my privates.. hope noone saw it. OOPS!

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Everyone has been affected by cancer. Join the race.

[bartelby]

this one guy puts up endless quotes like this....

if you believe in something don't let anyone take it away from you don't let anyone put you down about it. Follow your dream until you have achieved it!!!

[MissingPerson]

Everyone has been affected by cancer. Join the race.

Stunning, absolutely stunning.

Every way I try to imagine Cancer Race is hilarious.

[Son of MJK]

drank way to much coffee..refill... =)

[algunz]

Facebook experiment...If you are reading this, even if we don't speak often, post a comment of a memory of you and me. When you are finished, post this as your own status; and see what people remember!

Ugh! I don't remember anything.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

mani and pedi is a girls best friend