The Thread In Which We Post Our Facebook Friends' Annoying Status Updates

[faxman75]

actually has to sart learning to balance the checkbook...grrrr


...I feel like I'm living inside a cuckoo clock!!

[JebusLives]

On the other hand, it could mean that the end is near and she's in on it.

Just something to consider.

I can't wait for the rapture. I mean, on one hand it means you and I are wrong and probably damned for eternity, but on the upside - all the jesus freaks will be gone! Sodomy 24/7!

[chairmenmeow47]

a family member told me i must live a very sad life to be "talking that way" for saying fuck and making your mom jokes in my status update.

[brittany]

is over the warm weather.. where's the fall?

Boo. Boo. Boo..-haha. Im writing boo for today. I didnt like it.

has buzzing fingers...

You know what? Don't condescend me with your tiny pear.

has been bitten on the ass by a spider and now my butt itches.

Got shot on the face during Paintball. Good thing I'm not in the army.

EVEN THE BEST FALL SOMETIMES! EVEN THE WRONG WORDS SEEM TO RYHEM.

stepped in wet cement..

[SoulDischarge]

Sodomy 24/7!

Already living that dream.

[betao]

EVEN THE BEST FALL SOMETIMES! EVEN THE WRONG WORDS SEEM TO RYHEM.

....

...ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

[caco0283]

[chairmenmeow47]

lamebook.com is a funny site for this type of shit too. the ones for people posting about the 9/11 anniversary were great.

[M Sparks]

I like this a lot.

There was a picture to match.

[M Sparks]

making your mom jokes in my status update.

By the way, I recommend friending/fanning (not sure which) someone who goes by the name "*Your Mom*".

*Your Mom* might be giving you a new little brother or sister soon.

*Your Mom* wants you to forget that strange man you saw leaving this morning.

*Your Mom* Is glad to be home. Let us never mention my 'little vacation' again. ok?

[TomAz]

[TomAz]

oh my god. my psycho roommate has turned even more psycho. she's calling up people we know to have them dictate my facebook to them.

WTF WTF WTF

...

[Young blood]

[amyzzz]

I don't get Facebook yet.

[BlackSwan]

Ahahahahaha

[Astrid]

Zac Effron was in my dream last night.

[stuporfly]

I'm not gonna lie--I almost teared up watching Kelly Osboune hug Ozzy last night on Dancing With the Stars. Be still, hormones!

So, is "Monday Monday" no longer appropriate to sing to your daughter? (In fairness, that one came from Patton Oswalt)

[DRcube]

[Alligator Bogaloo]

I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook, all my friends are and I make fun of them for it all the time. One of my friends told me about his "farm". blah, blah, blah... I almost hit him but just told him that he's gay for being on facebook.

[mattpach]

[luckyface]

I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook, all my friends are and I make fun of them for it all the time. One of my friends told me about his "farm". blah, blah, blah... I almost hit him but just told him that he's gay for being on facebook.

You showed him.

[Young blood]

UR GAY!

[humanoid]

I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook, all my friends are and I make fun of them for it all the time. One of my friends told me about his "farm". blah, blah, blah... I almost hit him but just told him that he's gay for being on facebook.

since I've been on Facebook, I'm finding myself increasingly attracted to hot men, is this normal?

[TomAz]

yes

[MissingPerson]

There was a picture to match.

Double brilliant.

[rskapcat]

I was going to make a comment about people who use "gay" as a substitute for "lame", but luckyface & humanoid are better at it.

[Young blood]

[obzen]

[BlackSwan]

I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook, all my friends are and I make fun of them for it all the time. One of my friends told me about his "farm". blah, blah, blah... I almost hit him but just told him that he's gay for being on facebook.

How old are you?

Edit: Actually, it doesn't matter. It would be nice if you were to get arrested, end up in jail, and get repeatedly raped by a gang of men.

[amyzzz]

Facebook makes me feel old and stupid.