Glasto from the eyes of a Coachella vet: tl;dr and TMI edition

[sbessiso]

C. Do British women get turned on by American accents liek we do Brit ones? Glasto hookups would be lovely.

This is also a question on my mind.

[Courtney]

Of all the British women I have met, it doesn't seem to be as much of a thing as American women with British men. You'd probably have better luck in Japan, or even Australia.

[boarderwoozel3]

C. Do British women get turned on by American accents liek we do Brit ones? Glasto hookups would be lovely.

I did quite well for myself in London this summer and was told on a number of occasions that my accent was sexy--CA accent. Being told to repeat words and phrases repeatedly, and I was happy to entertain these requests It appears the British, French, Italian, Swiss and Dutch all agree on this matter.

Hope that helps.

[HandBanana]

[boarderwoozel3]

Additionally, it turns out that many Europeans have a romanticized view of California--thanks TV and movies. Mentioning I was originally from CA didn't hurt, at all.

[HandBanana]

(Goes googling for California tee shirts)

[WizardIsAboutToDie]

omg, boourns, tell me you brought her back to your tent

[JustSteve]

(Goes googling for California tee shirts)

pussy control:

[Boourns]

omg, boourns, tell me you brought her back to your tent

Who?

[Wheres the beef?]

pussy control:

LOL I imagine it would so tempting to lie and exaggerate everything. Saying things like "Oh yeah I surf to work". "No we all hang out in the sun at the beach all day. Nobody works."

[Wheres the beef?]

Boourns,

Or is Frank? I don't know that we've met though. Anyways. Can you elaborate more on michael jacksons passing and how that affected things there. What did you think when you first heard? Did it affect your trip at all? Were there any special tributes? At EDC here sooo many DJ's were dropping michael jackson tracks it was ridiculous.

[Boourns]

Boourns,

Or is Frank? I don't know that we've met though. Anyways. Can you elaborate more on michael jacksons passing and how that affected things there. What did you think when you first heard? Did it affect your trip at all? Were there any special tributes? At EDC here sooo many DJ's were dropping michael jackson tracks it was ridiculous.

When I first heard, I thought it was a bullshit rumor until the next morning when I heard jokes being made about it in the Peel tent and then saw it in the papers. It was surprising and sad since I grew up with his music. Everyone was talking about it and the mood was noticeably more somber among the crowd on Friday, but how much of that was due to the death and how much was due to the rain is debatable. Emmy the Great wanted to do a cover (Earth Song) but didn't get to rehearse for it and gave him a shoutout, as did Lily Allen and Karen O. I didn't see any covers, but Dizzee Rascal did a medley and apparently when news got to one of the silent discos, they put it on the screens and played "Thriller." Tons of vendors were playing his music all weekend. And, of course, somehow some vendors got shirts to capitalize off the death, but I never actually found them. How they made so many shirts so fast in the middle of nowhere is beyond me.

[Boourns]

A. Best fucking thread ever.

B. Are Wellingtons a boot that goes OVER your shoe? Do they breathe? DO you end up with skanky hooker feets?

C. Do British women get turned on by American accents liek we do Brit ones? Glasto hookups would be lovely.

Wellies do not go over the shoe, they are the shoe. They don't breathe at all. The price of keeping your feet out of the mud, I guess. Yeah, I would take a lot of breaks and just sit down and take them off and air out my feet whenever I could because they would get sweaty and gamy. And I got some weird rash on my calves, which left scars.

As for C, you're thinking Japan. I mean, if you're thin, good looking, tall, cool, etc, you'll do fine. Americans are looked down upon in general in Europe, anyway. Pretend you're Canadian, maybe, eh?

[ivankay]

Such a great thread. Thanks Frank.

[Boourns]

I added a few pictures to the last part.

[sbessiso]

I had a sort of panic attack today thinking about this. I CANNOT LET DOUBT ENTER MY HEAD

[LooseAtTheZoo]

I had a sort of panic attack today thinking about this. I CANNOT LET DOUBT ENTER MY HEAD

Control yourself... it's not that big of a deal.

Drop the 50 pounds, and then you have another 4 months to decide if you want to pursue the rest of the planning.

[Boourns]

Saturday (part 2):

Mushy peas look like vomit but are much better than their mushless relatives.

There are not many acts that I want to see playing until the end of the night, when Bruce Springsteen, Jarvis Cocker, Franz Ferdinand, 2 Many DJ’s, the second coming of Jesus, the second coming of Xenu, and The Smiths are all playing at the same time, so I set off to explore some of the countless acres of unseen festival grounds. First, I wash my hair and upper body in a nearby sink. It pays to carry around shampoo and shower gel at Glasto. Then I buy some real batteries and am raped for £7 for four measly batteries, which converts to around $12. Next I head back to Arcadia in search of this campfire so I know how to find it in the dark when it’s time to see Emmy the Great again. I just see the standard stage that has set times and the gigantic monstrosity in the middle of the field and decide it must be something that only goes at night.

Trash City.


Trash City.


Trash City.


Trash City.


Trash City.


Trash City


Robot in Trash City.


The Drag Strip.


NYC Downlow.

Being nighttime-only is the norm for things in Arcadia and this turns out to be true for Trash City, which is finally open. However, all the bars and clubs are closed until sunset. After another visit to Comfortable Crappers, I enjoy a dinner of fish and chips with mushy peas, which are second only to the ones I had in Brighton in terms of tastiness, and wash it down with a bottle of Tango, the only orange soda I have seen in Europe that wasn’t Fanta. Although Trash City is dead during the day, I can tell it will be nothing short of amazing at night and take advantage of the opportunity to photograph everything while there’s light.

Superheroes!

Deciding to see Bruce Springsteen instead of Jarvis Cocker was not an easy decision to make, but because I had just seen Jarvis twice the previous week and would again a month later, it made the most sense. So here I am with an hour and a half before the Boss and where am I? Back in the Chill & Charge tent. Loathing Kasabian, I do not want to work the crowd to get up front for the Boss and therefore be subjected to this rubbish band, plus my iPod still needs a charge. I only get about 30 minutes of charge time before I leave to finally see Bruce for the first time. At the outdoor communal urinal, lazy and disgusting excuses for human beings are refusing to wait five minutes in queue and just pissing all over the walls, creating another mud pit. Absolutely repulsive.

Bruce Springsteen from the very back.

Bruce Springsteen’s headlining set is the one that the British media has been obsessing over recently, but I went to the Pyramid with the assumption that it would not be a problem getting a decent spot shortly before show time because the crowd had been generally chill all weekend and that it was not New Jersey. Wrong again. I eventually give up on getting up front and just chill in the back on a small patch of litter-free ground using an extra newspaper as a seat.

What can be said about Springsteen that hasn’t already been said before countless times? He’s The Boss. People say that he plays to the back of the arena or stadium with legendary energy and passion, and this is true for a gigantic field of mud with twice as many people as Giants Stadium. Every song feels like an anthem, and the crowd is digging it, myself included (despite not knowing nearly every song). Sure, some people in the back are asking if he will play “Born in the USA” (he does not), but everyone’s having a good time, with the fans up front being absolutely nuts attempting to molest their Boss every time he comes to the rail to play or grab request signs. But when the big guns like “Born to Run”, “Dancing in the Dark”, and “Glory Days” are unveiled is when everyone collectively loses themselves to something bigger than any of us.

Trash City.

Being at the back of the crowd gives me the advantage of beating most people to the afterhours areas. Despite Bruce’s set not ending until 12:40am, and assuming I already missed Emmy the Great’s afterhours campfire set, I haul ass straight ahead. According to my map, if I go in a straight line from where I started running, I will find myself at Arcadia. Nope. Instead I am at the Queen’s Head again, well out of the way. So I make a ninety degree turn to the right and continue straight but somehow end up at the Queen’s Head again ten minutes later. Laws of time and space do not apply in this world of magic because science and the rational are heresy and that’s the way we likes it.

NYC Downlow.

Eventually I make it to Arcadia at 1:30ish and have clearly missed Emmy the Great, and never see the campfire. I hear that I just missed an amazing fire show, too. Moving on to trashier pastures, I finally go to Trash City at an appropriate time and holy monk is it crowded. But all the killer sculptures and buildings look even more impressive at night, and there is fire. Fire is cool, heh heh.

NYC Downlow.

I get in queue for a bar called NYC Downlow which looks even sleazier and sketchier at night from the outside, complete with trannies peeking out from a gigantic hole in the wall. Once I make it to the door, a drag queen charges me £2 for a fake mustache. This fauxstache falls off after five seconds and I stick it to the set times hanging around my neck. NYC Downlow is very dark and smoky and/or misty inside, so one could dance to the acid house being spun with relative anonymity and two bars are available to serve the refreshments necessary to do this. Thankfully NYC has an outdoors area in the back where people catch fresh air and wait in a thirty minute queue for a portapotty, both of which I need. Yet more interactive art is available for enjoyment in this back patio: a crazy gigantic kaleidoscope from ephemere phenomenon. In this kaleidoscope, you sit and stick your head through the bottom and at the opposite side someone puts on a show with their hands and lights that is reflected off the mirrors to a very overwhelming effect. Unfortunately, breathing while the air is cold fogs up the mirrors, but still impressive. I am informed that a much larger version will be at Fuji Rock this year.

Drag Strip.

Moving on, I depart the Downlow and get in queue for another bar called the Drag Strip, this one being of the “biker bar from Hell” variety, as opposed to “gay bar in the 80’s New York City.” Inside the Strip, two girls are performing on-stage in full-body animal costumes and they are singing along to “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Turn around, bright eyes, indeed. This is followed by humping to “Closer” and then stripping out of the animal suits to “Welcome to the Jungle.” The furries are followed by a bunch of people coming out for a brief dance number. Wow.

Wat.


Some interesting interactivity tucked away in the Shangri-la.


Shangri-la.

Wanting to end my night on a high note and my second wind having long passed, I decide to return to my tent. Unfortunately, this is no easy task. Not only is Trash City on the far end of the farm in relation to my tent, but also there is a bullshit circumstance beyond my control. Security is not letting anyone leave Trash City the way they came in. Instead I have to go through Shangri-la and Arcadia again along with a heavy flow of traffic. Going through the crowded alleys of Shangri-la one more time is exciting, but it’s so crowded and I’m exhausted so I don’t get to stick around for too long. It takes eighty minutes or so to go through all these areas again and then walk back to my tent well after 4am, where I instantly fall asleep without changing out of my shorts or even emptying my pockets.

[shakur]

I have to go to this one year!

[WizardIsAboutToDie]

Glasto should totally hire you as their Western Hemisphere promoter, I think this stuff is publishable. Hollywood ending=emmy hookup???

[Boourns]

10,000+ words about Glastonbury. I need a life.

[sbessiso]

Control yourself... it's not that big of a deal.

Drop the 50 pounds, and then you have another 4 months to decide if you want to pursue the rest of the planning.

You're right but it's a couple different things. One of the main ones right now being if I will even be able to get through and place my order on the 4th

[unknown]

I'm amazed at how much shit you can experience! That fest seems insane with all the different themed areas. When does one sleep? Disgusting about people pissing on the ground. I love that you have pics of Trash City during the day and at night. Did you take any video of the different areas?

[Boourns]

Speaking of piss, someone pissed all over my tent in the middle of the night. And I didn't take any videos...my 4.5 year old camera is too shitty for acceptable videos. But I did post an amazing Arcadia video back in the Thursday night post.

There are different camping areas throughout the grounds.

For anyone with google maps:
http://www.glastoearth.com/the-map

[HandBanana]

10,000+ words about Glastonbury. I need a life.

Are you kidding?
This thread is proof that you're LIVING one.

Epical, mazn.

[paulo999]

Great to read the review. It's interesting seeing it through 'foreign' eyes.

About people being surprised you came so far... I think alot of Brits assume it's only the biggest in the UK. They probably assume there are other equally big ones around the world. I have to admit I did for awhile. We're very lucky to have it on our doorstep.

One thing that is a reminder to everyone coming, from reading the review, is that staples (like batteries) on site are poor value. Try to buy all that stuff beforehand.

[Boourns]

Great to read the review. It's interesting seeing it through 'foreign' eyes.

About people being surprised you came so far... I think alot of Brits assume it's only the biggest in the UK. They probably assume there are other equally big ones around the world. I have to admit I did for awhile. We're very lucky to have it on our doorstep.

One thing that is a reminder to everyone coming, from reading the review, is that staples (like batteries) on site are poor value. Try to buy all that stuff beforehand.

I wish I could find a way to live in the UK for at least a few years so it would be easier for me to attend this. And I am dying to check out a boutique festival. Latitude really killed me this year with the whole Thom Yorke solo set and the Hydro Connect festival sounded awesome but that is sadly gone now.

[Wheres the beef?]

Can you elaborate on why you were so unprepared for this? No wellies? No tent? No batteries?

Was it a logistical issue with the fact that you can only take so much with you or was it more of you just didn't have the time or what?

How come you didn't get money in London or Brixton or wherever, anywhere but at the actual festival?

[bleep]

10,000+ words about Glastonbury. I need a life.

you have a knack for writing. this would have been an awesome piece in an online/print publication.

[Boourns]

Can you elaborate on why you were so unprepared for this? No wellies? No tent? No batteries?

Was it a logistical issue with the fact that you can only take so much with you or was it more of you just didn't have the time or what?

How come you didn't get money in London or Brixton or wherever, anywhere but at the actual festival?

I bought a huge pack of batteries before I left, but they didn't last. Should have bought more in London the day before, though. And tent and wellies were not possible due to logistical issues.

I couldn't get more money out before I left because I was getting paid on Thursdays, so...