Glasto from the eyes of a Coachella vet: tl;dr and TMI edition

[MarkO]

that is one of the worst looking meals i have ever seen. culinary design pride is a no in england, i'm guessing?

Damn you to hell. No one belittles the fry.

[BROKENDOLL]

Forget what I said earlier about being smart; I am actually stupid. I find my way to Millet’s, one of the camping gear vendors on-site. Their cheapest double-skin tent, which is required to keep the rain off you and your possessions (and mine included an autographed Jarvis Cocker record), was £40, which converts to $872,234 American. I declare it to be a ripoff, buy a pair of wellies for £10, and storm off in search of a better deal. Two other camping gear vendors sell either more expensive double skin tents or only single skinned wastes of space.

Worst. Tent. Ever.

Did I miss something here? $872,234 for a tent? That tent?

Seriously, I'm loving this story, Boourns! I know at Coachella, I'm always amazed at the amount of people from across the globe. You have to admire them for the amount of money, time away for travel, etc that they spend to come to Coachella, when I guess we take it for granted at it being in our back yard. I'm rather suprised though that, according to shyguy75, there aren't that many Americans there...Why is that do you suppose? (Other than having to shell out $872,234 for a tent!) *kidding, I think...that was an exaggerated figure, wasn't it?

[Boourns]

Nope, not an exaggerated figure

But seriously, more like $70

[ShyGuy75]

sorry to see that BD is still posting here, dumb as ever no less

[sbessiso]

I would sub the beans with french fries or "chips" I guess. And I cannot eat sunny side up egg unless the yolk is completely cooked. I would prefer scrambled over anything though

[Boourns]

Seconded. The only eggs I eat are scrambled.

[sbessiso]

And clearly you guys dont go to Colombian restaurants.

bandeja paisa

[HandBanana]

Hows the sleeping?
Better than onsite or are the 'oologans up all night goin' "Oi! Oi! Oi!" and singing La's songs?

joop

[Boourns]

Okay, all this food talk is encouraging me to post the next part already.

Thursday (part 1)

Bank.

After having wasted the entire first day of Glastonbury sitting in traffic, enduring tent and campground drama, and getting lost countless times, I awake with the feeling that it would all be smooth sailing from here. Sure, that makes sense, but to quote Lex Luthor in Superman Returns and a mildly popular internet meme: “WROOOOOONNNG!” No longer having a pound or pence on me, I immediately begin my quest for an ATM after a traumatic trip to the long drop. Why traumatic? Because the waste from all the stalls goes into one collective pit, and as you go, you can see the reflections of your neighbors in the sewage and if you’re lucky, your waste can be seen crashing into someone else’s mid-air. Fortunately there are cash machines near my tent, but unfortunately, they do not work with American cards. I ask for another place to get cash and find the same type of xenophobic machines. Someone at the information booth tells me to go all the way to the top of the farm and try my luck at the “bank.” So this is reason number one why Americans are a rare commodity at Glastonbury: the cash machines discriminate against us. At Coachella, in contrast, the machines are willing to absolutely rip off anyone with a bank account in any country in the world.

A church in which to get a marriage that is not actually legally valid.

A forty-five minute uphill stroll gets me to the top of the farm where I find the festival bank, which is just a few ATM’s inside a trailer. Thankfully, these actually work, so I make sure to withdraw more than I could possibly need so I don’t have to return. This is the moment where all the drama ends and the fun begins, so I pause to savor it while listening to some Marvin Gaye from a nearby breakfast tent, and move on.

Malk!

Now with Vitamin R!

I decide to make getting my first meal at Glastonbury my next priority, so I go looking for one of the two booths people on the efestivals forum always raved about. On the way, I get a pint of milk from a milk cart, which is surprisingly refreshing. And even more surprisingly, milk at a festival? I know the grounds are a giant farm, but it is still completely new to me.

Hot and Dishy?

Tasty times.

The sky goes cloudy as I make my way to the Queen’s Head, where Maxïmo Park and other bands I do not know will be performing later in the day. It is here I stumble upon one of my two choices for lunch: La Grande Bouffe. I sample two different kinds of French potato and opt for the creamier one to go with my sausage that simmered in a wine sauce and as I pay for what turns out to be a delicious meal, it starts to rain. Oh no, the raindrops, the raindrops (repeat twenty-three times), are here to turn the fields to a mud pit! While enjoying the best festival food I had ever tasted, I head back to my tent to get out of the rain. Along the way, I stop to grab my festival souvenirs: a shirt with a partial lineup on the back and a deck of cards. Official Glastonbury merchandise is surprisingly scarce: two shirt designs in multiple designs and undersizes (organic cotton also available), a couple hoodies, and the deck of cards. No $500 Emek posters, $30 messenger bags, limited edition shirts, merchandise from previous years, or even posters. Coachellians are totally spoiled when it comes to quality, but expensive, merchandise. My Glastonbury shirt costs a reasonable £13, and £4 for the cards. Sadly, they are not selling any discounted merchandise from previous years.

[rage patton]

Glad to see you've started this Frank! Can't wait to read the rest!

[Boourns]

I just realized I don't have a photo of my shirt (will take one), or the deck of cards. I gave the cards away, so that's not happening. The back of the cards are black and have the Glasto logo, so use your imagination there.

[faxman75]

Wow, I had no idea this review was going to talk me out of going all together. So far though, it has. We'll see if the awesome that you write about later makes up for it though. It's gonna be hard unless all the crazy rumors about the lineup for next year are true though.

This years lineup did little to nothing for me.

Big Plans For Glastonbury Festival 2010
September 15th, 2009
Festival organisers have revealed that Glastonbury Festival 2010 will contain some of its biggest acts, on its smallest stages.

This year’s Line-up looks set to be rammed with big names, as Glastonbury plans to have one act from every year, from the last 40 years appear on the Pyramid stage. (I hope you managed to get your head around that rather confusing sentence!)

As a result, some of the smallest stages of Glastonbury will have to accommodate some of the bigger names.

“We want to have a band from every year on the Pyramid Stage,” said Emily Eavis.

“We’ll have a lot of the biggest performances on some of the tiniest stages.”

[Boourns]

Fuck. I really need to come up with the $$ to go again. I guess that spoils that the awesome made up for all the drama the first day.

[HandBanana]

So.....sleeping.......?

[Still-ill]

that is one of the worst looking meals i have ever seen. culinary design pride is a no in england, i'm guessing?

Are you kidding me? That's the breakfast of champions right there... talk about a great start to your day.

[Boourns]

So.....sleeping.......?

I slept fine because I was on the outer edge of my camp section, so it was quiet. A drunk Aussie kept talking loudly nearby on Friday, and some girl woke me up fussing because I apparently farted in my sleep and she heard it while walking by. It's really YMMV, apparently. Pennard Hill is supposed to be party central, but I couldn't get a spot in there by Wednesday night.

[HandBanana]

Hmm. Thanks. It would be nice if the sleeping was easier than Coachella, since it seems like much more of an endurance test

[Boourns]

Oh, it is easier. For some reason, I had to piss a lot (antibiotics I guess), and it's not like Coachella where the sun makes it impossible to sleep past 8am unless you have shade. I did get woken up a couple times from the cold but that's because I was too cheap to get a sleeping bag or blanket. It does get hot inside the tent, but not until 11 or 12, and only if the sun is out.

[shakermaker113]

british fry-ups are fucking great. they're one of the things I look forward to most each time I visit.

[emtgreg]

This makes me excited.

[suprefan]

Well take Oasis out of the running for Glasto since they broke up.. haha

[shakermaker113]

solid contribution there suprefan.

[emtgreg]

jokes if jayz plays again...

and covers wonderwall again...

[CalmerThanYou]

Boourns, this is absolutely amazing! Well done!

[boarderwoozel3]

Double Skin tents for the WIN. My crummy Coachella desert tent and I had a run-in with a pretty heavy thunderstorm the at the end of the first day of Pukkelpop. The storm won. It was a wet, cold night....

[Boourns]

Double Skin tents for the WIN. My crummy Coachella desert tent and I had a run-in with a pretty heavy thunderstorm the at the end of the first day of Pukkelpop. The storm won. It was a wet, cold night....

Sorry to hear that. I hope you didn't lose your valuables or get pneumonia or trench foot.

[fatbastard]

I asked in the other thread too, but Boourns do you know anything about taking rail in?

Further, will there be a place for me to attempt eating the fabled "British Fry Up"?
(pictured below)



I kinda dont even want to, but I feel morally compelled to.

Holy Mother!!!!

[suprefan]

solid contribution there suprefan.

What else to say? Frank isnt done with the review yet. And shouldnt you be packing for tomorrow?

[Boourns]

Emmy the Great's Glasto blog:
http://blogs.myspace.com/emmythegreat

[ivankay]

Great stuff. i wait in anticipation for the rest.