Page 12 of 12 FirstFirst ... 789101112
Results 331 to 340 of 340

Thread: Happy Fucking WITSday.

  1. #331
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    stately Rain Manor
    Posts
    17,455

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    Ash. Despair. Anjelica Houston.

  2. #332
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Vampire State Building
    Posts
    16,082

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Describe to me what a morose Jelly Belly tastes like. Please.
    Have you ever licked your fingers after touching yourself?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  3. #333
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Arizzzona
    Posts
    40,848

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    hahaha that's funny.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  4. #334
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    11,892

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    HEY EVERYBODY LET'S TRY TO IMPRESS RANDY
    Actually I was just trying to resurrect the thread while still keeping in the theme of the thread, but since you're being all WITS about it would you please try a little harder to conceal your envy?

    Yesterday I was working for five hours on a lawyer's computer because he broke his Outlook signature. In the course of this, I had to endure a staggering amount of his longwinded descriptions of how since he's an "attorney" (only assholes call themselves "attorneys" instead of "lawyers") he's obsessively precise about his grammar. Having been raised by a man who truly did not tolerate improper use of the English language and knew every little nuance of proper writing, I was getting pretty tired of this jerkoff, especially because I was spending all this time fixing the stationery of a man who thinks it's appropriate to format his professional emails in Times New Roman with both bold and italic on every part of his header, sig, and disclaimer, and on top of all that he also uses an email theme that makes all his correspondence look like it was written on a legal pad. If my lawyer sent me an email that looked like this asshole's I would have fired him.

    So finally when we were all said and done and he'd written the check I said, "Oh, by the way, you might want to proofread your footer." "Why, did something happening with the formatting?" "No," I said, "you just have an unnecessary comma." Here is what I was referring to:

    Confidentiality Notice: This communication, and any documents attached to
    it, constitutes an electronic communication within the scope of the
    Electronic Communication Privacy Act, 18 USC Section 2510. It contains
    legally privileged, private information intended for the sole use of the
    designated recipient(s). The unlawful use, or disclosure of such information
    is strictly prohibited under 18 USC Section 2511, and any other applicable
    laws. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the Sender
    immediately by facsimile, email, or telephone reply at (805) 578-0100, and
    destroy all copies of this communication, including attachments, without
    reading, printing, or retransmitting them, or saving them to disk or drive.
    He read it and immediately got up on a big condescending high horse again, explaining to me that I am misinformed but it's not my fault since today's public education is so poor. "That's a special comma usage you've probably never heard of--" "A serial comma, yeah, I know what it is, sir. I worked as a legal aide for my father who graduated Harvard law with honors, he was pretty fanatical about grammar himself. What you did there doesn't qualify as a proper use of a serial comma though, you're just putting it there to force a pause in the mind of the reader which isn't its purpose." He started quoting some style guide to writing I've never heard of and I cut him off again to say that The New York Times and TIME magazine both disagree, thanked him for the business and left.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  5. #335
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    stately Rain Manor
    Posts
    17,455

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    There's a distinct limit to how many words somebody's willing to care about your thing for. You've far exceeded it.

  6. #336
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    11,892

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    There's a distinct limit to how many pounds the human body is meant to support too, yet your wide ass is still up in my biznass.

    =)
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  7. #337
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    stately Rain Manor
    Posts
    17,455

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    I know. If I don't start shaping up soon, it'll be as big as your nose.

  8. #338
    old school buddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    3,526

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    mother fuckin' witsday.

  9. #339
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Pasadena
    Posts
    12,258

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  10. #340
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    11,892

    Default Re: Happy Fucking WITSday.

    Nice fucking lineup.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 40
    Last Post: 06-29-2013, 09:01 AM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-19-2009, 02:39 PM
  3. I Just Don't Fucking Get It
    By kitt kat in forum Music Lounge
    Replies: 261
    Last Post: 11-09-2008, 06:32 PM
  4. Fucking E-P-I-C!!
    By Deviate_420 in forum Music Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-02-2008, 05:02 PM
  5. happy fucking halloween.
    By RickyRaw in forum Misc. Lounge
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 10-31-2007, 05:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •