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Thread: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

  1. #1
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    Default First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    It looks like it's finally heading our way...

    Health officials have confirmed the first two cases of swine flu on the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival Message Board. Usernames Malcolm Jamal Awesome and HandBanana were admitted to local hospitals around 12pm today after both reported symptoms of the mysterious illness. It is said the two may have contracted the flu after sharing a passionate night inside a tent together without using protection at the Coachella festival two weeks ago, then making a trip to Mexico, where they vacationed among the country's nude beach resorts.

    At the time that this report was published, health officials said the two were listed in serious condition as doctors worked to improve their symptoms. They are hoping that by removing HandBanana and Malcolm Jamal Awesome's faces, the alleviation of "asshole" from their bodies will help cure the two man-children.

  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Dave Wang isn't going to like this one bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  3. #3
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    im beginning to grow a fondness of this hatred for you.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Say it to my face, you won't!!!

  5. #5
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Good thing I didn't get one of those frozen lemonaides.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  6. #6
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by PierogiHead View Post
    Say it to my face, you won't!!!
    relax yoda.

  7. #7

    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    When the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie its..
    Quote Originally Posted by fatbastard View Post
    Don't ever use Paul's name again in a posting. YOU GOT THAT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER? Paul was making his bones in the business back when you were just cum in your mother's ear.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by fatbastard View Post
    Good thing I didn't get one of those frozen lemonaides.
    shit...

  9. #9
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    I have looked at this thread like three or four times now and it's not getting any better no matter how many times I try.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  10. #10
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    its better now, because you're here.

  11. #11
    Coachella Junkie HandBanana's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    MJA was a firm (some would say "harsh") but fair lover.

    He was gentle as I bled, but intense and fiery when I was healed.
    "All of you coachella 'regulars' have nasty boy pussies and itchy dick4's on your asses.
    Why don't you all make like a tree and get chopped down and die. You all have been dreadfully mean to me.
    I Hate you. All of you. None of you will ever get to see a womans chest meat or finger blast hott cougies like me.
    Fuck you all. Consider this my resignation.
    Fair the well, you elitest scumbags."

    Faxman75, who has clearly had enough

  12. #12
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Here's a pic of HandBanana on his way to the CDC in DC.


  13. #13
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    HandBanana is dumb, everyone knows the CDC is in Atlanta.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  14. #14
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by fatbastard View Post
    Good thing I didn't get one of those frozen lemonaides.
    you mean frozen lemonAIDZ

  15. #15
    Coachella Junkie HandBanana's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    HandBanana is dumb, everyone knows the CDC is in Atlanta.
    You try reading the Departures board in that fucking suit.
    "All of you coachella 'regulars' have nasty boy pussies and itchy dick4's on your asses.
    Why don't you all make like a tree and get chopped down and die. You all have been dreadfully mean to me.
    I Hate you. All of you. None of you will ever get to see a womans chest meat or finger blast hott cougies like me.
    Fuck you all. Consider this my resignation.
    Fair the well, you elitest scumbags."

    Faxman75, who has clearly had enough

  16. #16
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    HandBanana, your lungs look like octopuss legs.

  17. #17
    Coachella Junkie Blinken's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    The Smiths - makes me think bin Laden has a point.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Shut up Blinken, this doesn't involve you. This is personal.

  19. #19
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    When do the ha ha's commence
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  20. #20
    Chest Rockwell Gribbz's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Wow, that thread could not have been deleted fast enough.

    Boris - 7/29 - The Mohawk
    NIN/Soundgarden/ - 8/14 - Austin 360
    Woods - 8/20 - Holy Mountain
    Jamie xx - 8/27 - The Mohawk
    Little Dragon - 8/31 - Moody Theater
    Ty Segall - 9/5 - The Mohawk
    Seth Troxler - 9/5 - Vulcan Gas Company
    Black Lips/King Khan & BBQ Show - 9/12 - J. Lorraine Ghost Town

  21. #21
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    The fucked up part? Feather deleted it with her mind.



    I warned all of you.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  22. #22
    Chest Rockwell Gribbz's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Some retarded pieorgihead thread about feather and sars.

    Boris - 7/29 - The Mohawk
    NIN/Soundgarden/ - 8/14 - Austin 360
    Woods - 8/20 - Holy Mountain
    Jamie xx - 8/27 - The Mohawk
    Little Dragon - 8/31 - Moody Theater
    Ty Segall - 9/5 - The Mohawk
    Seth Troxler - 9/5 - Vulcan Gas Company
    Black Lips/King Khan & BBQ Show - 9/12 - J. Lorraine Ghost Town

  23. #23
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Oh so because shes a girl the thread gets deleted? That's dumb. Who's she fucking on here, PsychicFriend AND HandBanana?

  24. #24
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    The fucked up part? Feather deleted it with her mind.



    I warned all of you.
    ...

    Awesome.

  25. #25
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  26. #26
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by vogina View Post
    When the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie its..
    What set was this played at?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  27. #27
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    ivy, are you the fucked up looking girl with the weird ass red orange dread braids or whatever? If so, please stop ruining our world. kthxbye.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    This is all going to end very badly.

    You've all mistaken Feather for a harmless rave pixie.

    But inside of her burns the anger and fury of a thousand Daft Punk pyramids multiplied by a zillion MSTRKRFT holograms.

    May God have mercy on all of your souls, though I fear it is too late for us now.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  29. #29
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    weird, i thought i heard some douchebag talking, but then i realized he was whining recently about what a bleeding vag he was and he said he was leaving so it couldn't be him, weird...
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  30. #30
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Two Cases of Swine Flu Confirmed on Message Board

    Quote Originally Posted by PierogiHead View Post
    ivy, are you the fucked up looking girl with the weird ass red orange dread braids or whatever? If so, please stop ruining our world. kthxbye.
    Okay. This isn't just trolling. I think we're actually witnessing a mental episode unfolding, right in real time.

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