I hate flimsy, superthin napkins. You always have to grab a bunch to clean yourself thoroughly.
That's what she said!
(passing someone on an empty freeway who is going 50mph only to have them speed up and drive next to you going 75 then slowing down if you slow down or speed up if you speed up
inappropriate use of apostrophe's
Its too bad that thats you're pet peeve, Tom.
Hunting has been part of our society since the first Europeans came over and shot buffalo and Native Americans and whatnot.
The Dive Poets
Musician's head explodes trying to hit a high note
. . . it swelled & burst like a balloon
by PAT CRAIGERS / The National Enquirer.
A TALENTED TRUMPET player died on stage when he blew so hard trying to hit a high note that his head exploded!
Ugo Solari, 43, was playing the end of The Impossible Dream from Man of La Mancha when his head swelled and burst like a balloon.
"It was horrible," says Gilberto Franconi, who was sitting in the front row of the Il Torquo Jazz Club when the trumpeter's head burst open.
"I get the shakes when I think about it. There was blood everywhere.
"I looked over at my girlfriend Theresa. There was blood dripping from her blonde hair and she was screaming.
"A woman on the other side of me had fainted. The man with her had vomited onto the table."
Witnesses say there were screams and a mad stampede for the exits when the audience heard a popping sound and saw blood splatter out of Ugo's head.
"Luckily, no one else was injured," says club owner Renaldo Vienna. "The stampede reminded me of some of those incidents at soccer games when people were crushed by rampaging crowds."
After the jazz concert disbanded in mayhem, frantic musicians followed the ambulance carrying Ugo to the hospital in Treviso, Italy.
It was there that medical examiner Dr. Roberto Palizzi revealed that blood vessels in Ugo's skull had simply exploded when he blew too hard on the trumpet.
"The skull is especially thin and weak at the temples," says Dr. Palizzi. "The force of the exploding blood vessels actually blew out part of the skull and ruptured the skin.
"He had a hole in the side of his head the size of a large coin. Part of his brains seeped out of the opening."
Palizzi ruled the death "accidental" on Ugo's death certificate.
"I have heard of trumpet players who developed serious headache problems and had to give up playing the instrument," he says.
"The trumpet is unusual in that it demands a certain amount of force to play it. It is common to see a trumpet player's face turn red, even purplish from the exertion.
"However, to cause his head to explode in this manner is a fluke.
"I believe Ugo's skull was unusually fragile at the temple and this weakness caused the tragedy."
I hate tall guys who shove their way in front of me at shows.
understandable, but it could be an advantage if the trumpet player's head explodes.
Hahaha, I'll have to keep that in mind next time I have the urge to give the guy standing in front of me an "accidental" cigarette burn.
PAT CRAIGERS is an alias.
You'll never be president.
Oh, I don't smoke. But that doesn't prevent me from wanting to give people cigarette burns.
oh, then you'd make a perfect president.
pet peeve - people who smoke
john edwards is a huge lobbyist for big tobacco.
naw i was just baiting you. mission accomplished.
Pet Peeve- People who complain all the time, especially at work. I mean...it's WORK, do you think I would be here if I had no need for income? LAST thing I want to hear is someone bitching about it...
Text talk on message boards. You have a fuckin' keyboard, I don't need "R U SRSLY" crap going on. Unless it's ironic. Then it's hilarious!
Assholes that think everything is someone else's fault, with zero self-awareness or responsibility.
The use of "then" instead of "than". RATM are better then RHCP. Aaaargh!
The use of "are" instead of "our". Are favorite band is RATM. Aaaaargh!
The use of "of" instead of "have". I could of gone to see RATM if they hadn't sold out. Aaaargh!
Self-important nobs who try to do difficult auto manoeuvres WHILE ONE HAND IS CLAMPING THE CELLPHONE TO THEIR FACE!
Not using blinkers to signal your intention. Hey! Numbnuts! My psychic abilities class was cancelled - I don't have a fuckin' clue where you wanna go!
People who steal ANYTHING from anybody else. That whole "I could work to earn money and buy it....OR....I'll just let you earn money to buy it - and then take it from you" attitude makes me fume. Parasite cocksuckers.
People who damage property, just 'cos. And if it's my car, ten times worse. You don't fuck with another man's automobile, you just don't, to paraphrase Vincent Vega.
I feel better now...
I just received a business email from a client on the east coast, the CFO of this company, wanting to set up a phone call with me, and he wrote "r u available now?"Text talk on message boards. You have a fuckin' keyboard, I don't need "R U SRSLY" crap going on. Unless it's ironic. Then it's hilarious!
it gave me the creeps
i agree with your language policing. however the use of turn signals is strongly discouraged where i come from. it confuses the natives. might get you shot too.