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Thread: the real Howard Stern

  1. #1

    Default the real Howard Stern

    When Howard Stern signed on to his satellite radio show Wednesday morning (February 14), he realized it wouldn't be long before the phone lines at Sirius were all lit up with fans and friends just waiting to ridicule him. And really, why shouldn't they?

    Since the dissolution of the veteran shock jock's 20-year-long marriage to first wife Alison back in 2000, Stern has repeatedly vowed with his entire audience as his witnesses that he would never, ever tie the knot again. At times, he'd even deride his own pals and members of his staff in the wake of their own engagements, advising them against making the same terrible mistake he'd once made.

    Well, it seems the 53-year-old King of All Media doesn't care about making the same mistake twice. Stern revealed Wednesday that he proposed to longtime girlfriend Beth Ostrosky the night before. Stern has been dating Ostrosky, a model 18 years his junior, since 2000; Ostrosky contributed a monthly advice column to the now-defunct FHM magazine and hosts "Filter" on the G4 network.

    With his staff expressing their utter disbelief, Stern joked that he'd had Ostrosky's uterus excised to ensure the couple would not have children. "I see my married friends with children and it seems like absolute torture to me," said Stern, himself a father of three. Several callers to the show along with sidekick Artie Lange blasted Stern for his decision, which prompted the jock to call off the engagement on at least two occasions during the show's first hour.

    "Do you want your Valentine's Day gift now?" Stern said this morning, recalling how he'd proposed to the woman known to fans as "Beth O." When the model told Stern she wanted her present early, he instructed her to strip down. Stern said she protested, insisting that she was too "fat" to disrobe. His first thought, he said, was "any girl who looks like that and thinks she's fat I've got a chance with her."

    When Ostrosky did get naked, Stern said he handed her a 5.2 carat diamond ring. "I love you. You're everything to me," Stern recalled saying. "This is so gay. ... I'm asking you to spend the rest of your life with me." Ostrosky said "Yes," and Stern said the couple made love immediately after; Ostrosky claims she had her "hand up and was looking at my ring the whole time" the two were in bed.

    This will be Ostrosky's first marriage. When asked if the couple had set a date yet, Stern said the actual wedding was something they didn't want to even think about for now, and that his audience can expect an elongated engagement.

  2. #2
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    beth o is fucking HOT. i don't care what anybody says. ULTIMATE trophy wife. you knew that was coming player. cheaper to keep her. i mean right?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    i can hear Robin Quivers laughing hysterically now


  4. #4
    No Clownery full on idle's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    beth O looks has a pigface

  5. #5

    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    howard is not exactly the best looking man in the world. Beth O has a killer body. i wonder what the pre-nup will look like since howard is worth close a billion dollars. he has spoken on his show that they have talked about a pre-nup and she agrees to one.

  6. #6
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Quote Originally Posted by happypappy420 View Post
    howard is not exactly the best looking man in the world. Beth O has a killer body. i wonder what the pre-nup will look like since howard is worth close a billion dollars. he has spoken on his show that they have talked about a pre-nup and she agrees to one.
    if he leaves, she gets five mil and a porsche cayenne. if SHE leaves, it's half that and an audi. no pension, no alimony, nothing. set in stone bitches. BET on it.

  7. #7
    old school
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    i didnt get a sirius after his move, and chose to download this show daily after its broadcast through various torrent sites.
    after about 2 weeks, it wasn't all that interesting anymore...primarily after the disappointment that was the whole unveiling of their secrets in their first week.

    how is the show? opie & anthony are on regular radio now and have taken over his morning slot, which must be quite a kick in the nuts to him....jimmy norton is quite funny but i do miss listening to artie lange and gary.
    I am going to get so blown to Cypress Hill while they play.

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie dorkfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    by himself, Jim Norton is funnier than Stern and his whole crew.
    *based upon tedious fact checking.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Jim Norton is hysterical.
    He adds a lot to O&A's show and while Im not familiar with how their show was pre-Norton, his chemistry with them is just great.
    I think I ve been liking O&A more because they are just less self-absorbed and arrogant as Stern. I mean, Opie is kind of a cocksucker but he does express appreciation and respect for his fans and listeners. Anthony is quite amusing and their cast of regulars that drop in are very funny as well, for the most part.

    I do miss Stern's supporting cast, who I think made that show as funny as it was. Then again, its been some months since Ive listened so Im quite out of the loop with many of their jokes.
    I am going to get so blown to Cypress Hill while they play.

  10. #10

    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Quote Originally Posted by dorkfish View Post
    by himself, Jim Norton is funnier than Stern and his whole crew.
    ya think so? i still think howard is the best interviewer around. he gets celebrities to talk about things they would never talk about.

    beth o is extremely ugly btw. walk down any street in so cal and you'll see better looking chicks

  11. #11
    Coachella Junkie dorkfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Howard's interviews have become pretty formulaic over the years. He's good at getting celebrities to discuss sex and relationships, but I don't think that we live in an age where it's still titillating to find out whether or not Carmen Electra likes to be spanked.

    I used to enjoy his show in the 90s, though, and the addition of Artie was a fresh boost for awhile.

    These days, Opie and Anthony tend to have comedian goons whereas Howard has his freak goons (Beetlejuice, etc).
    *based upon tedious fact checking.

  12. #12
    Member skavenbrew's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    There is nothing funnier, nor will there ever be, than Gilbert Gotfried on the Howard Stern show.

    Gilbert is God, and Stern's show is the perfect platform for him.

  13. #13
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    He reminds me of Joey Ramone. Always has.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  14. #14
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Quote Originally Posted by skavenbrew View Post
    There is nothing funnier, nor will there ever be, than Gilbert Gotfried on the Howard Stern show.
    agreed. gilbert as dracula/the pope/king child molester is comedy gold.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Post pics goddammit.

    E

  16. #16
    old school kroqken's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Gilbert Gottfried is hilarious in any venue, not just on Stern's show.

  17. #17
    Member Archie Bunker's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    I still miss "USA Up All Night".
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

  18. #18
    old school kroqken's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    THe best movie on "USA Up All Night" was a movie about telephone partylines called Dialing for Dingbats.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    I can't live without howard stern.

    His show is what gets me by.

  20. #20
    Member AEversW's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    people still listen to howard stern?
    lollipops and crisps

  21. #21
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    i don't think i'd give a girl a 5.2 carat diamond ring unless her boobies were actually real.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  22. #22
    Member noisemachine's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Quote Originally Posted by AEversW View Post
    people still listen to howard stern?
    exactly what i was thinking.

  23. #23
    Coachella Junkie luckyface's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Quote Originally Posted by noisemachine View Post
    exactly what i was thinking.
    Yes. Lots.

  24. #24
    old school kroqken's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Howard Stern is not as funny as KROQ's Kevin and Bean.

  25. #25
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    I am reading Baba Booey's book. It's not bad.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  26. #26
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    That reminds me to check out his throw on youtube.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  27. #27
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Peace and love peace and love
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  28. #28
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    I want you to go to jail for this.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  29. #29
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    erah

  30. #30
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: the real Howard Stern

    Everything Takei has ever said
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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