please insert your chuck norris facts here:
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Noris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming "Hope & Faith" are the trademarked names for his left and right breasts.
2/9 SISU @ Echoplex, 2/14 Spiritualized @ Ace Hotel, 2/16 Kyary Pamyu Pamyu @ Club Nokia, 2/24 Cibo Matto @ El Rey, 3/21 St. Vincent @ Wiltern, 4/11-13 Coachella, 4/27 Ghost B.C. @ Fonda, 4/30 Mono @ Troubadour, 5/3 I Break Horses @ Bootleg Theater, 5/28-6/1 Primavera Sound, 6/22 Janelle Monae @ Hollywood Bowl
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds away from death.
Alright, I'm done.
Chuck Norris' semen cures cancer. Too bad he has AIDS.
Chuck Norris almost turned down the offer to make a cameo in the movie "Dodgeball" on the grounds that he doesn't like to dodge balls—he prefers to have them resting on his chin.
Chuck Norris has been confused with Santa Clause, because whenever he enters a little boy's room he leaves with an empty sack.
Chuck Norris once became popular for no apparent reason whatsoever.
A shepherd once accidentally spilled his coffee on Chuck Norris' lap and refused to apologize. Chuck Norris went to the man's field and fucked every one of his sheep. Chuck Norris wasn't trying to get back at him; he just loves to fuck sheep.
One time, while watching gay porn, Chuck Norris swallowed his remote control because he thought it would feel good on the way out.
Chuck Norris looked in the mirror. When he saw how gay he looked, he roundhouse kicked himself in the face.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries
Chuck Norris is a fucking nerd...I could easily kick his bony old ass.
Chuck Norris is a Republican.