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Thread: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

  1. #1
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Akabusi didn't like going to the dental hygenist as much as the next man but his smile was his bread and butters. So he lay back on the patent leather chair and felt his anus tighten like a pupil in flashlight.

    The nurse came into the room and immediately Akabusi could smell pussy and it was strong. Within the confines of his dungerees he could feel the old chap twitch like a Michael J Fox without the pills. The nurse bent over Akabusi to check his molars and he caught a glimpse of her huge bristols.

    He said "Ahhh". As the nurse left the room to get a lollipop and a sticker Akabusi wasted no time. He leapt up and slipped out of the dungerees, letting the air con in the room tingle his black and curlys. He thought briefly about having a w*nk before so he could last longer but it was too late.

    The nurse walked into the room and spying the naked ebony Adonis before her became wetter than a paper towel in a Koh Sumai hotel on Boxing Day 2004. She let the white tunic slip to the ground and unleash an epic pair of tits and a pussy with less hair than Lex Luthor.

    Akabusi mounted her like Dettori and rode her in the dentists chair until he came all over her like an airport fire hose. Because his mouth was so numb from the anesthetic he went down on her soaky wet clunge piece for about an hour before he came. And her as well. Obviously.

    As he pulled on his dungerees he wiped his now fallen hero on the lollipop the nurse had given him, bent down over her spattered porcelain body and whispered "Awooga" in her ear before patting her on the fanny.

    The End

  2. #2
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    is there a joke i'm not getting?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  3. #3
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    its british threadery at its best!

  4. #4
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    ahh.
    Well, i'm not offended, but i guess just be warned that some people might get their panties in a bundle and report you.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  5. #5
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    report me for what?....there's plenty swearing and stuff on these message boards!

  6. #6
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    whoever takes the time to actually report somebody over something like this is an asshole...yeah but i dont get it...

  7. #7
    Wheelchair Epidemic hawkingvsreeve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Please delete this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by obzen View Post
    Giant. Fucking. Bjork. Buttons.
    last.fm

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    randy, remember when you tried to get it on with a dude on the old board?

  9. #9
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    I don't understand the purpose of this thread. This is not a forum for erotic writing. And even if it were why post this drivel?
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  10. #10
    Member RATMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Leave Randy alone, so what if he banged another dude on this board last year.. his post is British wit at its finest!!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq92Tv7Z-IE
    Last edited by RATMan; 02-08-2007 at 11:09 AM.

  11. #11
    Member John Peel is My Co-pilot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Shouldn't this post start with "I am a student at a small Northeastern College and I never thought I'd ever have a story for your magazine"!

  12. #12
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....


  13. #13
    Member RATMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Hahahhaa, Amelia Freebush, that's rich

  14. #14
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    All these comments just go to show that British wit is the best in the world and wasted on you lot!!!!!

  15. #15
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    randy, remember when you tried to get it on with a dude on the old board?
    What you on about?

  16. #16
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by randy ricochet View Post
    All these comments just go to show that British wit is the best in the world and wasted on you lot!!!!!
    Please show us which thread the wit was in so that we may enjoy it.

  17. #17
    Member waxybk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by hawkingvsreeve View Post
    Please delete this thread.
    That's what she said.
    Without music life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

    Your thermos would fit nice in my lunchbox....

    Us on hard drugs? That would be horrible. We'd probably end up sounding like Bryan Adams. - Thom Yorke

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by randy ricochet View Post
    All these comments just go to show that British wit is the best in the world and wasted on you lot!!!!!
    Ha ha ha ha.....I've heard that this book has been taken out of circulation since this thread was began:



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by schoolofruckus
    randy, remember when you tried to get it on with a dude on the old board?
    What you on about?
    You kept hitting on dorkfish over and over again. Dorkfish is a fine piece of meat, no question, but he's a dude.

    I'm just saying - do you remember that?

  19. #19
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    You reckon that was hitting on her!!?
    I said the bird in the picture was alright but then checked the user name and realised it was some lad called brad. The other couple of posts were about some lad telling me to move along. (but you'll know if you've been following me!) and then i asked why he was bothered if dorkfish was a fucking bloke.
    So hitting on eh, you Yanks don't half dramatise things..(eg. Pearl Harbour!!)

  20. #20
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by randy ricochet View Post
    So hitting on eh, you Yanks don't half dramatise things..(eg. Pearl Harbour!!)
    I'm putting the "offle" in "roffle" right now.

    Seriously, what on God's green earth are you blathering about?

  21. #21
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    You said I was hitting on her over and over. Bit of an exageration isn't it?
    And i used the film 'Pearl Harbour' as an example of how American's dramatise things.....with me now?

  22. #22
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Surely you can see how I would be a little confused when you say Pearl Harbour in reference to a film whose title was "Pearl Harbor".

    But yeah, otherwise, you were exactly right. The single stupidest and most clearly bullshit movie in the history of cinema is inassailable proof that Americans have a tendency for overdramatization.

    Call me when an American cuts his balls off over a fucking football game.

  23. #23
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    aw come on, it was a big match!
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  24. #24
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by randy ricochet View Post
    You reckon that was hitting on her!!?
    I said the bird in the picture was alright but then checked the user name and realised it was some lad called brad. The other couple of posts were about some lad telling me to move along. (but you'll know if you've been following me!) and then i asked why he was bothered if dorkfish was a fucking bloke.
    So hitting on eh, you Yanks don't half dramatise things..(eg. Pearl Harbour!!)

    you have absolutely no talent for analogy and metaphor. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when you spewed your lame crap in the first post, believing it to be lame attempts at irony, but now I see that you clearly think yourself far more clever than you really are.

    "wetter than a paper towel in a Koh Sumai hotel on Boxing Day 2004"? I figured you were trying to be funny likening a woman's bodily fluids to the worst natural disaster and loss of life in recent history, but you had just failed. Then "a pussy with less hair than Lex Luthor" and "he came all over her like an airport fire hose". What are you, 6 years old?

    Now with the pearl harbor crack. British wit is reputed for being dry and subtle. You're neither. Grow up or get funny.

    And this is not a gay personals board. Stop hitting on guys unless it's invited.

  25. #25
    old school york707's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Brad was asking for it.
    Hunting has been part of our society since the first Europeans came over and shot buffalo and Native Americans and whatnot.
    ---
    The Dive Poets

  26. #26
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by randy ricochet View Post
    You reckon that was hitting on her!!?
    I said the bird in the picture was alright but then checked the user name and realised it was some lad called brad. The other couple of posts were about some lad telling me to move along. (but you'll know if you've been following me!) and then i asked why he was bothered if dorkfish was a fucking bloke.
    So hitting on eh, you Yanks don't half dramatise things..(eg. Pearl Harbour!!)
    I'll let your performance speak for itself.

    Of course you aren't actually trying to get it on with "her"; that was my prized American ridicule skill. Apparently it was wasted on you lot!

  27. #27
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Just because Brad chooses to dress the way he does doesn't mean he's asking for it.

  28. #28
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    The old board colors were shocking to my eyes.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  29. #29
    old school york707's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw94086 View Post
    Just because Brad chooses to dress the way he does doesn't mean he's asking for it.
    That's what she said.
    Hunting has been part of our society since the first Europeans came over and shot buffalo and Native Americans and whatnot.
    ---
    The Dive Poets

  30. #30
    Member All That I Am's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kriss Akabusi Sex Story.....

    hAHAHAHA this is classic, I love you guys.
    I miss Bill Hicks.

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