Ask Caco for relationship advice

[schoolofruckus]

Likening penises to gods......that's so old board.

[PineapplePete]

threads like these make me wish i had joined the forum earlier

[caco0283]

gabe its not my fault your penis is the size of gregs

[schoolofruckus]

....house

[caco0283]

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.....wtf did you have to remind me that i saw gabe penis at the house......motherfucker....now i have to go coach a softball game and the only thing i can think about is gabe penis....damnit it all to hell

edit: come to think of it there was a lot of homo moments with guys in that house

[Yablonowitz]

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.....wtf did you have to remind me that i saw gabe penis at the house......motherfucker....now i have to go coach a softball game and the only thing i can think about is gabe penis....damnit it all to hell

edit: come to think of it there was a lot of homo moments with guys in that house

I CERTAINLY DON'T REMEMBER ANY, RONNIE. I JUST ENJOYED ALMA'S AWESOME MINI PIES.

[full on idle]

THE HOMOEROTIC AIR WAS THICK, A SHIRTLESS CHRIS STOOD AMIDST THE MOON OF AIR MATTRESSES. I HAD TO GO OUTSIDE.

[Yablonowitz]

THE HOMOEROTIC AIR WAS THICK, A SHIRTLESS CHRIS STOOD AMIDST THE MOON OF AIR MATTRESSES. I HAD TO GO OUTSIDE.

I had a dream that Ronnie locked me in the master bedroom. I know it was just a dream, but when I woke up, my underwear was bloody.

[caco0283]

I CERTAINLY DON'T REMEMBER ANY, RONNIE. I JUST ENJOYED ALMA'S AWESOME MINI PIES.

BUT THE PIE HAD A HOLE IN IT!!! AND YOU WERE IN A ROOM WITH ANOTHER GUY!!! AND ANOTHER GUY CAME IN AND ASKED IF HE COULD JOIN!!! STOP ME IF IM WRONG BUT THATS A BIT HOMO

[Yablonowitz]

BUT THE PIE HAD A HOLE IN IT!!! AND YOU WERE IN A ROOM WITH ANOTHER GUY!!! AND ANOTHER GUY CAME IN AND ASKED IF HE COULD JOIN!!! STOP ME IF IM WRONG BUT THATS A BIT HOMO

Stop it. Now you're bringing up parts of my dream that you have no way of knowing. Come to think of it, that hankie you put over my nose was the last thing I remember. Hmmm. Why did you do that again?

[caco0283]

Stop it. Now you're bringing up parts of my dream that you have no way of knowing. Come to think of it, that hankie you put over my nose was the last thing I remember. Hmmm. Why did you do that again?

you know thats not what really happened....if i did that i would have to drag you across the dozens of air mattresses with people in them....if that was even possible there would be no way i would be able to drag you past Foi and her queen mattress without waking her up. So come clean already greg. You wanted to be in that room, you needed to be in that room.

[schoolofruckus]

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.....wtf did you have to remind me that i saw gabe penis at the house......motherfucker....now i have to go coach a softball game and the only thing i can think about is gabe penis....damnit it all to hell

edit: come to think of it there was a lot of homo moments with guys in that house

Ronnie, are you high? YOU brought up my penis.

That whole "what happens in the Coachella house stays in the Coachella house" just climbed out the window and jumped off the roof.

[Yablonowitz]

Ronnie, are you high? YOU brought up my penis.

That whole "what happens in the Coachella house stays in the Coachella house" just climbed out the window and jumped off the roof.

Gabe's right, Ronnie. You fucking traitor.

[caco0283]

wtf i never made that pack.....if i did there would be pictures of me sleeping....so shame on you greg.....shame on you...so stick that apple pie up your ass

[Caitlin]

Fuck it. I'm becoming a nun.

[Yablonowitz]

wtf i never made that pack.....if i did there would be pictures of me sleeping....so shame on you greg.....shame on you...so stick that apple pie up your ass

Ronnie, I can't help that I caught you looking beautiful twice. But I didn't give away any information about your, frankly, odd behavior during the whole stay.

[caco0283]

greg dont try to woo me with your kind words...you just put butterflies in my stomach

[jjphotos420]

Caco0283 you give the worst advice ever, but I do have to admit it's pretty funny. I hope people don't take this serious.

[schoolofruckus]

Somwhere, there's a guy laid up in a hospital bed, with a zuchini lodged in his anus, who wishes he'd had the good sense not to follow caco's advice verbatim.

[jjphotos420]

Thanks for the tip, I wont ever ask for advice.

[bug on your lip]

Somwhere, there's a guy laid up in a hospital bed, with a zuchini lodged in his anus, who wishes he'd had the good sense not to follow caco's advice verbatim.

i'm nominating that for Quote of the Year

fukkin brilliant

[caco0283]

Caco0283 you give the worst advice ever, but I do have to admit it's pretty funny. I hope people don't take this serious.

here's a secret from me to you, dont lodge zuchini up your anus. If need to know what to put up there ask and I will answer.

Somwhere, there's a guy laid up in a hospital bed, with a zuchini lodged in his anus, who wishes he'd had the good sense not to follow caco's advice verbatim.

Are you sure it was a zuchini?? I thought it was a cucumber.

[bug on your lip]

you know once the Monkey King went into reruns that this thread has pretty much run its course

[invisiblerobots]

[caco0283]

negro please...i know im a bit rusty...but i got the rust off of me....now when i answer jennie's question its going to be one of your favorite's....trust me

[jjphotos420]

here's a secret from me to you, dont lodge zuchini up your anus. If need to know what to put up there ask and I will answer.

You disgust me. I do not need you to answer that question for me.

[wmgaretjax]

....house

wow so simple.... but so fucking perfect.

[caco0283]

You disgust me. I do not need you to answer that question for me.

sorry if my humor disgusts you...but sometimes you have to shake your hips and get the sand out of your vagina....all will be good when you do that

[caco0283]

WARNING!!!! IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE DONT READ MY NEXT POST!!! IT IS FULL OF GAY HUMOR, IT IS SEXUAL, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BUT MOTHERFUCKERS YOU BETTER REALIZE THIS IS ALL A JOKE!!!! SO WARN TO THE MOTHER FUCKIN G!!!!

[caco0283]

Dear Relationship Ronnie,

This past weekend, I was really surprised to find out two of my friends were gay. At least, I think they're gay. Here's my story...

So...I was at this house for Coachella and I had to pee. I went to the back bedroom to use the bathroom - but the door was closed, so I knocked. One of my friends yelled, "don't come in, we're fucking!" I thought to myself, "ha ha...fat chance" - like it was all a joke - but when I opened the door, I saw the two of them close together holding a pie. It really freaked me out. They both looked shocked. The pie was falling apart. My eyes moved from one element of the scene to the next. The ruined pie...the drunken eyes...the pants being fixed...and back through again. I said, "what the fuck are you guys doing in here?" They both blathered on, offering one incoherent explanation after another - but they never offered an actual answer..."WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

Are my friends gay? Are they Ronnie?

Sincerely,

Nonplussed in North Hollywood

Nonplussed in North Hollywood,

Well this one troubled my heart. I didn't want to come off as a person that is anti-gay or as a butt loving homosexual that masterbaits to Richard Simmons yearning to pump him in the back while his ears are glued to the sweet sound of Hendrix.

Ohhhh Nonplussed in North Hollywood, can you see by the dawn's early light? Now if they were gay you would of seen rocket's red glare in their eyes, when you bursted in on them. Because they could of been getting to the point of having their liquid bombs bursting in air. Which would
give proof through the night that their rainbow flag should be there.
Oh, did that rainbow banner yet wave? Did it?? Was he going to land it in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Now none of this makes sense but...




















See that picture?? It doesn't make sense, why am I showing you a picture of Chewbacca?? Well here let me try to explain to you why they can't be gay. Now I have two main points to get explain to you, one is what was said to you when you opened the door, "we're fucking." I will touch that one later. First I want you to think about what they were holding. They had an apple pie. Now what is an apple pie?? Well my confused friend, an apple pie is a fruit pie. Fruit can be another name for homosexuals if used in the context of "I had to wash my bosses clothes yesterday and his underware was full of blood, the fucking fruit" or " I wonder if fruits give better head than women"

Now you said the fruit pie was falling apart. Now think about this. Think out of the box. If Apple pies are fruit pies; if fruit is another word for faggits, and if the pie was falling apart doesn't that mean that the fags are about to fall apart?? I think the APPLE pie in the scene tells you the whole story. They were coming up with a scheme to get rid of the ones that go for the same team. If ya know what I mean. Now I know that may confuse you but just think of this...


















Now on to my next point. They screamed out "we're fucking" Now how do queers fuck. The slide their rodes in each others butt, right? Now what rhymes with butt? Slut rhymes with butt and women are sluts, men are dogs. So they can't be gay. and gay means happy....see what I mean....THEY AREN'T FUNNY LIKE THAT!!! They are just happy, joyful, sparkling, thrilled, cheerful guys thinking of how to get rid of guys that got turned on during the tent scene of Brokeback Mountain. They were doing this for AMERICA!!! Because they are as American as the APPLE PIE. They were doing this for GOD. They were doing this for our children, for me, for you, for the future of all man-fucking kind. FOR FUCKING SANJAYA!!! They weren't in there for each other, I mean if they were that pie would not have been falling apart, it would of been filled with their joy. As they looked each other in the eye, as they caressed each others thigh. As the first one jumped behind the other one and drove his hummer into the parking spot and threw up his arms and played every cord that came on the radio, His partner who is being pushing into the bed like a pedal will take out his white arm and reach behind himself and start hitting the guitar players ass as if he himself is playing the drums...boom boom bang...boom boom bang....yeah thats right....come on play that drum...snare snare cymbal...snare snare cybal. E, A, D, E, E Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....wait what??


















What I meant to say is maybe they were just telling a secret to each other, maybe one of them was so drunk that they threw up and that's what you saw in their hands. All I'm saying is....don't ask don't tell. Okay does that help you jennie. Damn you and damn your questions...fuck this thread I'm going to a titty bar.




Who am i kidding, i'm not going to a titty bar. The truth is Greg wanted to know what it was like to have a real man lay it down. He wanted me to put my latin spice in him and feel the grasp of my reach around on his wee wee. That's the truth, and I told him no. I told him I love women and that's that. Women are God's gift to me. I did tell him he could give me a blow job though. If I closed my eyes it would feel like the same thing. Plus there is that question....do men give better head than women....WELL THANKS JENNIE FOR SCREWING UP MY CHANCE TO FIND OUT.






edit: im the only person responsible for this post....so take out your anger on me if and not anyone else