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Thread: Ask Caco for relationship advice

  1. #91

    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    should have taken your NoBloQ before u started the relationship monkey
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  2. #92
    Member Caitlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by caco0283 View Post
    sorry i havent had the chance to get to these....my love life is just a mess again....so i just dont feel up to it
    Awe<3 I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. I hope it gets better.
    http://www.myspace.com/caitapalooza
    WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS FTW

    Quote Originally Posted by Senor Cardgage View Post
    Sadly, what I didnt know is that commie chicks = lack of grooming technology + panties made of burlap = Vagina Crimes Against Humanity.

  3. #93
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    should have taken your NoBloQ before u started the relationship monkey
    NoBloQ has nothing to do with it....i got caught mid air guitar
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  4. #94

    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    was it a George Michael song ?
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  5. #95
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    im not caco but im throwing my thoughts in anyways. considering you woke up naked next to him the second day you hung out he more than likely thought he wouldnt have any trouble hitting it. and when you didnt let him he was probably thinking a) what a fucken tease or b) what a fucken tease.

    i dont think you fucked up any future with him by turning him down. if you eventually give it up i see a nice booty call in the future.
    i do however, think you fucked up any chance of having a respectable relationship/friendship with him when you got naked on the second date.
    '03 '04 '05 '06 '07 '08 '09 '10 '11 '12 '12 '13 '13

  6. #96
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    i have to disagree with you
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  7. #97
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    not true, there is so much more respect if you get naked by the second date.

  8. #98

    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    is Captain Morgan Tattoo the black one
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  9. #99
    Member Caitlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    She's right about the tease thing though, that was pretty fuckin' dumb on my part to have got him started in the first place. I forget its not as easy for men to turn off the switch as it is for women.
    http://www.myspace.com/caitapalooza
    WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS FTW

    Quote Originally Posted by Senor Cardgage View Post
    Sadly, what I didnt know is that commie chicks = lack of grooming technology + panties made of burlap = Vagina Crimes Against Humanity.

  10. #100
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by kimery08 View Post
    i do however, think you fucked up any chance of having a respectable relationship/friendship with him when you got naked on the second date.
    no, you can have a short and kind of pointless relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  11. #101
    Member Caitlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    is Captain Morgan Tattoo the black one
    Yes, its very delicious with cherry cola.
    http://www.myspace.com/caitapalooza
    WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS FTW

    Quote Originally Posted by Senor Cardgage View Post
    Sadly, what I didnt know is that commie chicks = lack of grooming technology + panties made of burlap = Vagina Crimes Against Humanity.

  12. #102
    Member Caitlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Its a no win situation. Had I had sex with him, he'd lose all respect for me and it certainly would go no further. I don't have sex with him and I'm a tease. Jesus.
    http://www.myspace.com/caitapalooza
    WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS FTW

    Quote Originally Posted by Senor Cardgage View Post
    Sadly, what I didnt know is that commie chicks = lack of grooming technology + panties made of burlap = Vagina Crimes Against Humanity.

  13. #103

    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    let's drink tattoo & have sex
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  14. #104
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Caitlin View Post
    Its a no win situation. Had I had sex with him, he'd lose all respect for me and it certainly would go no further. I don't have sex with him and I'm a tease. Jesus.
    nah, you can have sex with a dude and still have things work out. true story.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  15. #105
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    let's drink tattoo & have sex
    No no, remember - I just get naked and pass out. There's no sex. Hahaha.

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    nah, you can have sex with a dude and still have things work out. true story.
    Not in my experience - and i've had a lot of experience. Snort.
    http://www.myspace.com/caitapalooza
    WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS FTW

    Quote Originally Posted by Senor Cardgage View Post
    Sadly, what I didnt know is that commie chicks = lack of grooming technology + panties made of burlap = Vagina Crimes Against Humanity.

  16. #106
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    LOL1 <3!

  17. #107
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Caitlin View Post
    No no, remember - I just get naked and pass out. There's no sex. Hahaha.
    i hope you didn't get sleep-raped.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  18. #108

    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Caitlin View Post
    No no, remember - I just get naked and pass out. There's no sex. Hahaha.

    wait a sec....

    is this a fukkin Caco alias ?!?!??!
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  19. #109
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    hahahahhaa
    '03 '04 '05 '06 '07 '08 '09 '10 '11 '12 '12 '13 '13

  20. #110
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Caitlin View Post
    Not in my experience - and i've had a lot of experience. Snort.
    well, then, our experiences have differed. 'nuff said.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  21. #111
    Member Caitlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    i hope you didn't get sleep-raped.
    No, I can tell if I've had sex the night before. Besides, the guy didn't even have the gonads to kiss me for three days.
    http://www.myspace.com/caitapalooza
    WHITE CHICKS AND GANG SIGNS FTW

    Quote Originally Posted by Senor Cardgage View Post
    Sadly, what I didnt know is that commie chicks = lack of grooming technology + panties made of burlap = Vagina Crimes Against Humanity.

  22. #112

    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    that's true

    he sounds weenie-ish
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  23. #113
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Caitlin View Post
    No, I can tell if I've had sex the night before. Besides, the guy didn't even have the gonads to kiss me for three days.
    thats a perfect cover....damn you people i didnt want to get into this but now i think i have to
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  24. #114
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    do it.


  25. #115
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    aight im off to have a cigarette...but enjoy this old one for now...its the only one i could find on my computer from the old board....full of all those wonderful little typos!!!!

    Caco - Can you share with us some masturbating techniques that might be fun to try (hopefully these would not involve falling asleep afterwards with your junk out)? I wonder if I've grown a little stale using the same method week after week. I would like to do something to spice up my autoerotic stimulation methods.



    Greg there are many ways to spicy up your evenings alone. Many guys when they play with themselves do it wrong from the start. They either don't want to get caught, or just want to get to the point of the 5 second orgasmic satisfaction. You have to remember, very few people are going to love you, like you love yourself. So make love to yourself the way you deserve to be made to. As Taalam Acey said "the way you'll know its done right, is if your nipples are harder than your life is."

    Now how to you get yourself there?? Well to start don't get it over with right away. Masturbate as long as you can. Grab yourself like you can push it through the bed, like you can cum through the bed, think of yourself as a fire-hose, you are strong, you are mighty, you are a man, if you wanted you would spray all over the room, cos you are strong enough to do that and no woman can take that away from you. Now I would just suggest start off slow, give yourself some four play while you do it. You have build confidence, so when you have sex with a partner, make sure you have resistance built. As you stroke yourself, pinch your nipples. Touch your body as if youre a blind reading Braille. Not one part of your body should go unsatisfied.

    Do not be afraid to lick your fingers gently moving that wet finger to down to your member. Drive your inner muscles crazy with little moves like that. When you start feeling like you are going to explore like Krakatoa, loosen your grip a bit and look down at yourself AND MAKE NO MISTAKE, what you see is a god. God doesn't give up. Speak to god and tell him not yet. Once he understands that its not time, grab god again and start stroking that snake eye faster and harder than you have ever gone before. Push youre pelvic region up and down. Close your eyes and picture the most gorgeous human being you have ever seen. Grab some hot finger wax and drip it on your finger tips and massage yourself some more while you picture massaging it unto this gorgeous persons nipples. Now while you are still thinking of doing your actions to this person grab more wax and do the same thing to yourself and to this persons butt so it simultaneously stings and tinkles. Picture doing things to this person that normal human beings wouldn't consider with someone else in their bed. As much you want to cum so bad DONT, i repeat. As much as you want to come so bad DONT. Keep it going. Your wrist may hurt, your might be out of air, you dog might be howling like a wolf, but DONT STOP, I know just what your thinking. Hold the flesh harder, don't let your fluids flow, I want you to just moan. Jerk, and twist, and moan if you have to. Once you can't hold any longer, Scream and let go and moan like you've never moaned before and let those fluid tensions flow, while you roll your eyes to the back of your head and your looking at your bed, moan some more and push your pelvic region harder as god makes it snow in the room. Once the snow storm is over. Pleasure your body some more as you lay there in ecstasy. Gently caress yourself and think off all the beautiful things on earth. After you gave yourself a bit of post-nut-four-play, get up go to the mirror in the bathroom look at yourself, smile and say "thats right, I am a man"

    one little extra... make sure you have some music on in the background. Change your music selection and see what that does to you. You might find that some music you hate, brings something out of you while you are in bed and makes your god drip with clarity and spray offspring into the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  26. #116
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    warning before i post this dont read if you get offended easy....that is all
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  27. #117
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    Quote Originally Posted by kimery08 View Post
    i went to vegas for a few days with some friends. i talked to the guy im dating on the last night i was there. i wasnt drunk yet so i know i didnt say anything stupid. ive been trying to hang out with him since ive gotten back and well... he isnt having it. we talked the day i got home. he was out with his friends and said he would call me when he got home so we could meet up. didnt happen. two more days, nothing. am i being an ass for still thinking about him? is he more than likely banging some other chick?
    Im going to make this short and simple...just how you like it


    Will Kimery here is what I think of the situation. You start off by saying you talked to him but you weren't drunk and didn't say anything stupid. Well that was your first mistake. What do you have to hide?? Maybe the fact that you won first place in the double vagina double anal contest at Crazyhorse. The thing is you don't need to tell him about that. He knows about that already. It was all over youtube after the last set of guys were done with you. Now while you were waiting for his call, he wasn't just out with his friends. I don't doubt that he was out with one of your girlfriends. Why would he want a crazy girl that loves DVDA. He would rather want a crazy girl that would like to go to a strip club and watch people receive a DVDA. So this is what you can do before you end up wasting you life away with a shotgun to the head, which might be the best solution after all. You never know when you might go to the dollar movie theatre to watch some old movie and there is your gf taking it in the wrong crack in the back from your ex while she plays with his sack.

    So tip number one...dont go to the dollar movie theatre.

    tip number two: take your significant other to Vegas with you.

    tip number three: if you want to make things work with him try this. Shave your head break into his room and lay there naked. Tell him you are sorry for being such a nasty girl but now you are a born again virgin and you need him to baptize you in his love juice so you can be fully saved. Get on your knees and beg his god for forgiveness. Taste his holiest of holy and sing him this praise song "What can wash away my sin?
    Nothing but the seman of your god in your pants
    What can make me whole again?
    Nothing but the seman of your god in your pants

    Oh, precious is the flow
    That makes me white as snow
    No other fount I know
    Nothing but the seman of your god in your pants
    Nothing but the seman of your god in your pants"


    After you sing those praises to him. He needs to baptize you and all will be right all will be just because of the seman of the god in his pants
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Your lady's also in for drugs, right? Corinna's guy is in for murder and mine's in for a spree of home invasions. I think you're probably good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  28. #118
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    if only you told me this two months ago...

    *sigh
    '03 '04 '05 '06 '07 '08 '09 '10 '11 '12 '12 '13 '13

  29. #119
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice

    do you still have that halloween pic of you with all the seaman Caco?

  30. #120
    old school invisiblerobots's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Caco for relationship advice


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