Thread in which you talk to me about speed dating.

[locachica73]

...Movies of?

Nothing good, trust me, I looked.

[Pixiessp]

Yeah, and he called again wanting to know when we could "hang out" again. I have ignored his call so far. Plus the fact that he collects baseball cards at 38, WTF? They are all over his apartment, and signed baseballs and other collectables. My ex mother in law was a pack rat and being in his house made me flash back. I can't go back.

A girl once asked me if I wanted to see her baseball card collection. I said ok. when i went to her house she had no baseball cards.

[bug on your lip]

A girl once asked me if I wanted to see her baseball card collection. I said ok. when i went to her house she had no baseball cards.

Penthouse Forum issue 45 , vol IV 1998

[TeamCoachellaHellYeah]

Why yes there will be adult beverages. Does this change your opinion in any way? (what was your take?)

Could be loads of fun if you just got smashed and had fun with your "dates".

[bug on your lip]

at every date i would use one rule:

WWPS

What Would Passive Say?


should get you laid well into 2011

[TommyboyUNM]

I'm leaving work now and headed to this thing. If anything good happens I'll write about it. If not then I'll let this thread die.

[allyjoy]

I expect pictures & phone numbers... and which girls put out. thanks!

[amyzzz]

Wow. quite a list there, ally.

[karecares]

ok I am not talking a few expensive cards in a box in the closet to save for his future son. We are talking piles and piles and piles and boxes and boxes of them around his living room that he goes through on a regular basis, with a special carrying case so he can take them to work and show his work friends at lunch. That and a ton of VHS tapes of movies he recorded to watch on his 13" tv. At 38, and he has never been married and no kids so it isn't that he is starting over after a bitter divorce. OK that may make me sound like a gold digger of some sort but come on.

i would've calculated it the same way... although it sounds like my ex with his star wars collection

[TommyboyUNM]

It was a pretty surreal night. Talked to one of them about Jesus. Told another I had a girlfriend and that was awkward. One of the dates was with my college Spanish teacher. One of the women works with my mom. Pics:

[Courtney]

Haha your teacher. Was the event for a specific age group or was it a free-for-all?

I did a speed dating thing once in grad school. It was run by our student government as fundraiser thing, and it was all grad students participating. It was actually pretty fun. Most of the guys were Indian engineering grad students. There was definitely a lot of awkward nerdiness during the 5 minutes with each person, but I ended up going on a few dates because of it. To be fair, I like nerdiness.

I wish there had been adult beverages involved.

[JSam67]

"Star Trek/Santa Fe/Hottie" is an hysterical description to read.

[TommyboyUNM]

Haha your teacher. Was the event for a specific age group or was it a free-for-all?

It was ages 25-35, but I had a date with a 40-year old somehow. Guess which one that was.

[RotationSlimWang]

I like "Serious Titties."

[locachica73]

Don't we all?

[rskapcat]

I like "Serious Titties."

Yeah, I was going to say that "Serious Titties" sounds incredibly promising.

[KooKoo Banana Funtime]

i'm guessing "weird face" had no titties

[MissingPerson]

How weird? Like... does she have spider jaws or a trunk?

[sbessiso]

This right here is why Tommyboy is board MVP

[Young blood]

more details.

[locachica73]

After his stories in chat last night I am seriously reconsidering going with this chick I work with. She asked me if I would go with her if she found somewhere to do it, I totally laughed it off but now I may just have to do it for a good laugh.

[TommyboyUNM]

How weird? Like... does she have spider jaws or a trunk?

Like not symmetrical. And one of her eyes was looking at me and the other was looking directly behind her. If you can picture that.

[chairmenmeow47]

so, are you going to bang your mom's co-worker or what?!

[TommyboyUNM]

The event was held at a winery/restaurant here in Burque. When we got there we needed drinks because we already knew it was gonna be awkward and there might be a few women I could stand with a slight buzz. After that we walked to the back room and checked in. All of the women were assigned tables and all the men moved around. Each date was 6 minutes and there were 11 men and 11 women.

Before the festivities got under way, the blind guy (yes the blind guy) felt the need to have the floor and make an announcement. I thought it was going to be something about "respect my disability" or "I trust that I'm really talking to a woman" but it had nothing to do with his unfortunate place in the world. He felt the need to tell all the ladies that he is a forthright individual and that he expects the same. Did we REALLY need an announcement like that? The answer is yes. It was entertaining and helped me prove I could keep a straight face.

My first date was with Tammy. Born in Michigan. I think she was a nurse. Blah blah blah. But all I could focus on was the lack of symmetry in her face and her eyes seemed to be independent of the rest of her body. I didn't feel like they were part of the conversation. I don't remember much of the conversation other than me calling her a stalker for some reason then telling her that the Lions suck.

Next there was Becky. I've been really into women with glasses lately, but not her. Neither Sarah Palin nor Tina Fey has a 3/1 gums to teeth ratio. I guess she was normal as far as personality goes. I did tell her that I hate OU and that they would get stomped by Florida. She was too nice to really fuck with, though. So I just let it be.

Not much interesting with the next woman, Valerie. I was gonna get into a dark/death talk with her, but she cut me off at the pass. She asked what I did before my current career and I told her radio (the truth, WTF?). She asked what station and I told her and she totally recognized me. So she asked hundreds of questions about radio that I've been fielding for 9 years. Moving on.

Veronica. Not much interesting except she was my FUCKING SPANISH TEACHER IN COLLEGE. I always thought she had a cute face and she did lose a little weight. So I started flirting with her kinda for shits and giggles. She wasn't havin any of it and I think she felt creeped out. After a minute, I did too.

Audrey from Santa Fe was probably the hottest chick that I talked to. And she was a Treky. She's been to Star Trek conventions and everything. I couldn't reconcile the two, so I just had visions of her making me wear Spock ears while she fucked me. I guess sometimes you gotta dress up as Spock while you bang? If I was looking for anything, she would've been the one I followed up with.

The only thing interesting about the Normanda (Norm) is she works with my mom. And she is friends with my old Spanish teacher. So I just had to have regular old small talk.

Una looked like something out of Charlie's Angels. If one of the angels went on a coke binge and accidently snorted part of her tooth. And she was 40 and wouldn't shut the fuck up about how much older she is than everyone else. I thought that was a good time for me to ask her about the Lord. She said she's "spiritual, but not religious." And I told her that I used to say that before I got saved. The timer went off and I told her she seemed really nice and I'd pray for her.

The next girl, Kamalia, was painfully awkward. So I thought I'd make it more awkward. She asked me how old I was and I said 27. She said "I'm 30, that's not too bad." Then I said "That's true. My girlfriend is 30 and that doesn't seem to be an issue." She kinda stuttered and said "Oh" and I said "So anyway, where in Illinois are you from?"

"Serious titties" and "Lesbian" were actually nice girls. And I was losing steam at that point. I forgot exactly why I called her "Lesbian", but something about the way she carried herself reminded me of Gina from 40-Year Old Virgin.

All in all it was a big psychout fest and ridiculously awkward at moments. I did feel a little bad because as I was talking to one of the women, I got a text from the woman who I'm really involved with saying "Just thinking about you and wanted to say I hope you have a wonderful night." If you like random side show events, I think speed dating might be a worthwhile thing.

[TommyboyUNM]

so, are you going to bang your mom's co-worker or what?!

Lol if I had any sort of sexual attraction to her whatsoever that would be pretty money. She might as well have been one of my aunts. And not one of my hot aunts either....

[TomAz]

was the last one really a lesbian or is that shorthand for 'wearing birkenstocks'?

[locachica73]

And not one of my hot aunts either....

This part is a little disturbing.

[chairmenmeow47]

excellent review! i couldn't imagine a date with a former teacher. i hope you're the next board member we learn about in that one thread

[TommyboyUNM]

was the last one really a lesbian or is that shorthand for 'wearing birkenstocks'?

Hah. It's shorthand for "crippling grip".

[TommyboyUNM]

excellent review! i couldn't imagine a date with a former teacher. i hope you're the next board member we learn about in that one thread

If I get nominated I'm more than happy to share with you fuckers.